Disclaimer: I don't own the Smallville Scoobies. They're probably happy about that fact. <g>

Notes: I'm aware that the title doesn't make sense, but see, "Sweet Like Candy" (the title of the first story) is a lyric from the Dave Matthews Band's song "Crash". Well, sometimes in concert, Dave adds, "I will be your Dixie Chicken/ If you'll be my Tenessee lamb/ And we can walk together down in Dixieland" to the end of the song, so there you go. Makes sense now, doesn't it? <eg> A little glimpse into my mind and what I call logic. Be afraid.

Thanks to Stone Princess for the beta, as always. She is the Dixie Chicken to my Tenessee Lamb.

Feedback: It is the gooey marshmallow layer that makes the hot chocolate of fic writing all worth it. You know you love the goo! Heh. That sounds kind of dirty.

"My ex-girlfriend is a lesbian."

It was a statement, not a question, but Pete chose to answer him anyway. "Yep."

Whitney nodded. "And she's lezzin' it up with Chloe Sullivan."

Pete grinned. "Yep."

"Whom she now lives with." Whitney sighed. The injuries that had been the cause of his honorable discharge from the military seemed small in comparison to the sting of losing his ex-girlfriend to the newspaper editor.

Pete and he were the last ones left at the barbecue in Whitney's honor. They were sitting in front of the dying bonfire, reflecting on the changes that had happened while Whitney had been away.

"I thought that when she broke up with me, it was because she wanted Kent."

"Nope." Pete shook his head. "They danced around it for awhile, but I guess neither of them were really interested."

Whitney glanced over at him. "And that's because Kent is sleeping with Lex Luthor."

"Yep. Well, that and Chloe and Lana bein' all 'Willow and Tara: The Next Generation'."

"Willow and who?" Whitney squinted at him suspiciously.

Pete silently cursed Chloe for making him watch Buffy. "Nevermind."

"Now, what does all this have to do with chocolate sauce?"

"Don't even try and understand it, man," Pete said, slapping Whitney on the shoulder. Whitney looked good with his short hair, older, more mature than his 19 years would have suggested.

Whitney shook his head again. "Do Kent's parents know?"

"About all the hot, sweaty, man-lovin' going on at the mansion?" Pete supplied helpfully.

Whitney mock-punched his shoulder playfully. "Yeah."

"Nope. Rumor has it that the reason Clark's dad hates the Luthors so much is because he and Lionel had some torrid affair while he was in college and it ended really badly."

"Rumor has it that...You've got to be kidding me." Whitney laughed, but stopped when Pete didn't smile. "Oh sure, next you'll be telling me that Mrs. Kent and Nell had a fling way back when."

Pete turned to Whitney, shaking his finger at him. "You didn't hear that from me."

"Jesus! Is anyone in Smallville straight?"

"No shit," Pete laughed. "It's like Sunnydale, except instead of a Hellmouth, Smallville is built over a Homoeroticmouth."

"Okay, seriously, Pete. What the hell are you talking about?"

"Dude," Pete sighed. "Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it's a cult classic. Look into it."

Whitney started laughing. "You watch Buffy, Ross?"

"Hey! Buffy is hot!" Pete tried to defend himself against the guffawing ex-quarterback.

"Are you sure it's Buffy you think is hot, not Angel?"

"Angel has his own show."

The statement only caused Whitney to laugh harder. Pete was definitely gonna stop watching Buffy...as soon as he found out if that was Giles and if Spike was going to be okay.

"Okay, okay." Whitney tried to catch his breath and Pete couldn't help but think that his friend looked good with tears of laughter streaming down his face. "I'm sorry. You were saying?"

Smiling, Pete shook his head. "Forget it, man," he said as he turned back toward the fire.

"Your wish is my command." Whitney stared at the fire for a moment before turning and picking up the bag next to him. "Hey, you want a marshmallow?"

Pete grinned. "I'd love one."

"Pay up, boys." Lana turned away from the sight of her exboyfriend making out with Pete Ross to smirk at Lex and Clark.

"Oh, don't worry, Lex," Lex mocked Clark's voice as he slapped a 10-dollar bill in Chloe's hand. "Pete is 100% straight and Whitney stripping me down to my boxers and hanging me out in the cornfield was in no way an outlet for his repressed homosexual desires." Lex glared at Clark, the corners of his mouth twitching in amusement.

"Shut up, Lex," Clark glared back as he handed his ten dollars over to a still-smirking Lana.

"I don't know about you guys, but suddenly I'm in the mood for a sundae," Chloe said, turning to Lana.

"You're always in the mood for a sundae," Lana said sweetly, wrapping her arms around Chloe's waist and nuzzling against the side of her neck.

Lex made gagging noises.

"Should we ask them to go on a triple date with us?" Clark asked, his forehead suddenly creasing, making him look like a confused puppy. "Is there even such a thing as a triple date?"

"I think we should give them some time." Chloe took one last glance at the couple, giggling. "So, Baskin Robbins?"

Everybody nodded their agreement.

"I swear to God, Lex," Clark warned as the foursome started walking toward their cars, "If you tell one more person that my dad had an affair with your dad..."

THE END