Series: Smallville/Eroica

Spoilers: Yes. More or less.

Archive: battlefields of slash, eroica.nu

Disclaimer: Smallville, Superman, etc. DC Comics, Warner Brothers, Miller and Gough, and probably a million other people; Eroica Yori Ai O Komete Yasuko Aoike and Princess Comics. No profit is being made from this fan production, no disrespect is intended to the original creators. We're only having fun with them. We promise not to damage them. Much.

There was just something about black space, the purr of a powerful motor, and the oppressive feel of duct tape over his mouth that scared the utter shit out of Dominic Senatori. That wasn't any great surprise, honestly, because it was the sort of thing that would scare the shit out of most any man, never mind the glorified accountant he'd left his father's business to become for Lionel Luthor. And now, here he was, tied up and stuffed into a trunk going God knows where with God knows whom, and even worse it sounded like there was a mouse in the trunk with him.

Today was not going to be Dominic's day, and he suspected that he wasn't going to have any more days left to make much of a difference.

The first time had been as horrifying as it was retrospectively funny and he'd managed to maintain his composure by deciding there were probably people in the world who would pay good money for this sort of treatment. It was probably even tax deductible or could be written off as expenses. But Lex Luthor was a sick, sick man, and since it was the second time he'd found himself in the trunk of one of Lex's less-sporty cars, Dominic had good reason to really fear for his life. People rarely got the opportunity to annoy any of the Luthors more than once.

The mouse in the car squeaked again, and he kicked at it.

"Ouch!" A little, breathy squeak of a whimper -- not a rat after all. "That hurts! Don't kick me!"

God, the sadistic fuck had even stuffed someone else in the car with him!

"Mrrrp!" That one wasn't duct-taped, so maybe he wasn't trussed up the same way and could get the tape off of his mouth.

"I'll take it off if you promise not to kick me again. I don't like being kicked." That voice sounded disturbingly pouty, the accent upperclass British and sort of sweet.

"Mmhmm!" Dominic started to rack his mind, looking for who Lex could possibly have put in the car with him. He'd hired an accountant of his own, hadn't he? Maybe he was going to kill them both! A perfect recipe for cooking the books, take one accountant from LuthorCorp and another from LexCorp, beat vigorously and.. He was letting his imagination run away with him, but it made him even more eager to get out of his predicament..

"All right. Don't yell or he'll know I took it off, and he's quite peeved enough without adding to the mix," the other man said, reaching over and pulling off the duct tape carelessly, as if it wouldn't even hurt.

Dominic muffled the howl that rose to his lips. The younger Luthor did that on purpose, pressing it down as close to his goatee as he could -- jealous hairless little bastard. "My god..."

"I know. Hurts awfully, doesn't it? But it's better when it comes off quickly," that little voice told him happily. "The suffering is intense, but not so long. Intense is better."

What kind of Freak had Lex hired? Maybe he was one of those people who paid good money for this sort of treatment after all! Dominic licked his dry lips, tasting adhesive. "Who are you?" he whispered cautiously.

"You may call me Mister James," he was informed most cheerfully. "And my friend here is little Willard." A squeak sounded, and suddenly Dominic was very worried about mice again.

"Why... are you here?" Dominic started to tug at his wrists with concentrated effort. At least if he was free when Lex opened the trunk of the car, there was a chance he could run for it. The younger Luthor had a soft head, and there had to be a tire iron in there somewhere.

The pitiful sniffling that question gained him was deeply sorrowful. "Mister Lex is very unhappy with me. But... I couldn't help it! All of those cars! It was so uneconomical to have so many and they were expensive and I got lots more for them than they were worth when I sold them!"

"You what? Oh, you idiot," Dominic sighed into darkness, almost pitying his mystery companion. Not even he had managed to fuck up that badly. "He's going to kill us. He loves his cars more than anything in the world, and even Lionel knows to not touch them..."

The sound of a wail echoed in the close confines of the trunk. "But they were so EXPENSIVE! And he was so HAPPY about the other money I made him, not like Lord Gloria at ALL, and he gave me the best drafty room in the whole CASTLE!"

"Shhh!" Dominic shifted in the little space there was, putting out hands to try to silence the other captive. "Not so loudly. Who's this Lord Gloria?" Was it corporate espionage? No matter what, Dominic was still too sure that he was going to die, but at least it might be quick. God alone knew what dire fate might await this 'Mister James' for the crime of car selling.

James sniffled in the darkness, Willard scrambling around and brushing against Dominic's hand. It nearly scared him stupid. "My former employer. He was obsessed with black-haired green-eyed men, too, and he spent every BIT of the hard-earned money we stole, so I finally left. I mean, Mister Lex didn't have any hair but..." Dominic could SWEAR that voice had gone dreamy. "Goodness. He has other things, doesn't he?"

Like money, for example. Lots of money. Huge mounting piles of cash...

It certainly was rather warm in the trunk.

"Like cars that you sold?" Dominic countered sharply, drawing his hands back towards his body for a moment. "So he hired you to do his accounts?"

"Yes." There was more of that sniffling, and then the rat squeaked, and UGH. God, he was going to die, and he was going to haunt Lionel for sending him back to that castle at hell's edge. "And I did a WONDERFUL job! I cut SO many costs! I even tried to get rid of that organic vegetable boy, but he resisted on that, so..."

Ahh, there it was. The real reason for selling the cars.

"Good work. You've probably pissed him off more than I have," Dominic muttered tensely. "I'm going to kill Lionel if I live..."

"We might not live!?!" That frightened squeak was really pitiful, and it made Dominic's ears hurt. A lot.

"Yes, we might not live, and shhhh. You sold a Luthor's prized possessions and then tried to get rid of a prized curiosity -- didn't you bother to study Luthor Psychology before you took the job?"

"No?" It was a question, and almost wept at that. "I figured it couldn't be any worse than Lord GLORIA! He spent all of his time chasing that major and this painting and that STATUE and he wouldn't allow me to sell ANY of it and he never gave me IT anymore." There was a full-on pout in that voice. "Not that Mister Lex gives me IT, but at least he never gave me IT to start."

Darkness, a rat, and a whining little voice. Dominic swallowed and then asked the question that begged to be answered. "It?" Some drug, perhaps...?

"YOU know. IT," the little voice whispered ecstatically. "Sex."

Sex, with Lex Luthor. Sex with daddy's little bald boy, no, no, Dominic wasn't going to think about it. He'd never be able to look Lionel in the eyes again if he seriously considered the idea. "So, your... former employer paid you with sex?"

"Uh-huh," the little sound declared, though it seemed rather disgruntled. "At least until he fell for the Major. Then it was all Klaus this, Klaus that, and I NEVER got IT anymore. So I left him. Serves him right. I hope he's eating from old shoes."

At least the other man had some spite to him. "You sound British -- did you go to Excelsior?"

"Excelsior?" Obviously the other man had no idea what he was talking about from the sound of his voice. "Heavens, no. I am British."

"No, no, I didn't mean... oh, never mind." Dominic twisted slowly, trying to move so he could lay on his back, not that the view had improved any. Hopefully there wasn't a tire-iron beside him, or the spare. "How did you find the Luthors?"

"He found me!" It was declared with a certain blithe delight. "I was looking at calculators and wanting one, and trying to convince the gentleman at the counter to give me a discount. He wouldn't give me more than fifty percent on the one that I wanted." There was an audible pout in that voice, and the man moved beside him, revealing himself to be fairly tiny. "Are you more comfortable, I hope? At any rate. He helped me buy my calculator and wanted to see what I could do with it. I showed him."

"Must've been impressive. So you were hired on the spot...?" It was fascinating, and was helping Dominic distract himself from his imminent demise. As long as that little rat or mouse or whatever it was didn't touch him again, he'd be fine. God he hoped it was a rate or a mouse.

"Uh-huh! I'm the best accountant in the world," the little man beside him bragged, and squeaks of agreement came from the mouse. Bizarre.

"Apparently not the smartest. Accountants do not meddle in their employers personal lives." Unless it was sex, and that got messy -- and it sounded like it'd gotten messy for the little man who was also going to die in the trunk of a thrumming car. "What possessed you?"

A little wail sounded, sharp and mournful. "There were SO MANY of them! He doesn't need that many, he doesn't, and they were just sitting there, and I got so much MONEY for them! He was happy when I saved him money other ways!"

"You don't have any common sense, do you? You know, it's probably your fault that _I'M_ being treated this way! You and your, your damn rat!"

"Be nice to Willard," came the growl, and a little squeak, and FUCK, if Dominic lived, Lionel had better start paying him one hell of a lot more. "After all, Mister Lex didn't truss me up, just you, and I'm starting to wish I'd left on the tape!"

"Why _didn't_ he tie you up?" Dominic asked almost politely, a bitter spark of curiosity rising up.

He could almost feel the incredulous stare. "Because I told him I'd get in the trunk willingly, of course."

"Oh." That was too simple for Dominic to be comfortable with. "He didn't drug your drink, then...?"

"No, he just told me we were going somewhere and that I was to ride in the trunk with you." James seemed terribly happy about that. It was disturbing on some fundamental level of sanity -- which had obviously been left a long way behind in the proceedings.

"And this doesn't bother you? You didn't think it was strange?" Dominic just had to ask.

"No?" Okay, definitely something wrong with this guy. "Lord Gloria would have put me in one and maybe not let me back out again, but Mister Lex will allow me out."

He wasn't hearing that. Sure, Lionel had problems, but all of them seemed to suddenly pale in comparison against the other accountant's previous employer. "If he doesn't shoot you for selling his cars."

"He wouldn't shoot me, would he?" The sudden tremor in that voice was amusing, because obviously the fellow hadn't been worried up until now. Dominic wondered how long they'd been travelling. "Lord Gloria was afraid of guns... Oh, why, WHY did I leave him!?"

"Shhh, just calm down and we'll think of something," Dominic insisted.

"I don't want to be shot!" There was suddenly a thin, squirming body rubbing against him frantically. "You won't let him shoot me, will you?!"

Yes, yes, he would, in fact, he'd let the little fellow be shot if there was any hope at all he could get away. "No," Dominic lied, just to get him to still. "I'll try not to. Just calm down."

A faint sniffle sounded, and a hand pressed warmly to his belly. "Hey," the accountant said thoughtfully. "Will you give me... you know. IT?"

They were in the trunk of a car. With a madman driving. And a rat named Willard. And the little bastard was asking for sex! "I don't even know you, and my lover would be very pissed."

A little sniffle. "I'll make it good," James promised. "And besides, if we're going to be shot, wouldn't you like one last... YOU know?"

It was reasonable, sure, but... "You're a lot obsessed with sex, aren't you?"

"Isn't everyone?" And a reasonable enough reply, all things considered, Dominic supposed. All right, so maybe everyone he knew was sex-obsessed, but surely someone somewhere wasn't?

"Maybe, but..." Dominic gave a strained laugh, shifting to lay a sore hand on the smaller man's shoulder. "This is a horrible time for it."

"Best time," James disagreed. "It could be so hot..." Oh, and the little man had started rubbing himself against Dominic, humping his thigh like some hormone ridden pathetic spaniel for gods sake!

"Undignified!" Dominic countered, pushing him back. If they were headed to Metropolis, they'd be there soon, right? There wasn't much chance that he'd come to within mere moments of leaving Smallville.

"...we're locked. In a trunk." James's voice was flatly amused as he snuggled closer despite Dominic's pushing hands. "I doubt you need to worry about your dignity now."

"We're going to be let out!" Dominic countered roughly, hands looking for the little man's waist to push him back.

"But there's no reason not to enjoy ourselves while we're locked ii~iin..."It was a whine, and the urge to smack the accountant was rising sharply.

"Look, stop humping my leg! We're probably almost in Metropolis by now!"

"And this is supposed to make a difference?" The little man was becoming demanding, and his hands actually felt rather good brushing against Dominic's crotch. Damn him.

"Yes, you little freak, it is!" The only difference seemed to be in the air of the trunk -- first madness from the little man, and now lust.

A little sniffle sounded, voice tearful when he spoke again. "You're just like everyone else. You don't want to give me IT!"

"I don't even know you," Dominic muttered, teeth gritted tight. "Don't you think it's a little forwards of you?"

"Well, not particularly. Mister Lex wouldn't have locked me up in a trunk with you if you weren't nice enough and amenable to advances." Twisted logic, that was! After all, Brat Luthor hated Dominic's guts. So it had to be a ploy because Lex knew Dominic was stiff and not the sort to agree to that. And no, not stiff in that way. Cruel brat, just like his father.

"Maybe he would've," Dominic muttered.

"To punish me for selling his cars?" Oh, God. That James was going to start bawling, Dominic could tell.

And he still opened his mouth. "Probably. But I've already told you that I thought you were an idiot for doing that."

There was a certain sullen attitude behind the weepiness. "Well, at least he's just locked me in here with you and denied me sex. I think he's going to shoot you, as he tied you up and tried to keep you quiet." The rat squeaked in agreement.

Dominic shifted, turning away from the other man to search with his hands for a tire-iron. "Shut up -- you don't think he'd shoot you, too? You were just stupid enough to get into the trunk when he told you."

"I'm too cute to shoot." That couldn't be argued with on the grounds that Dominic had never seen him, but he was certainly whiny enough to consider murdering.

His wheedling voice was worth the cost of possibly being murdered. "I could do it. Look, did he tell you why he wanted you to get into the car?"

"...no," James admitted in a tiny, squeaky little negative.

"Don't you think it's a little odd that all he's going to do to you is travel you to wherever we're going, and then back?"

"No." James considered the matter. "Sometimes, Lord Gloria would stuff me in trunks for travelling and forget to let me out."

The fuck. "Forget? Are you serious? You must be... unbelievably trusting..." Stupid, he almost said as he shifted and... found the limit of space within the trunk. But there had to be a good six inches between him and that little freak.

"No," James argued. "I'm very serious, and I've never given anyone true reason to kill me." Well, except now he'd gone off and sold Brat Luthor's cars, and that was like stamping an invitation for death on your forehead if ever Dominic had seen one. "Is the car slowing?"

And then it jerked, bouncing upwards and jostling all three of them.

Lex must've just zipped over a pothole.

"Yes, yes it is and that means we're in Metropolis!"

"I wonder if we're going somewhere fun." The damnable creature was much too optimistic.

Somewhere fun, yeah, hopefully that somewhere fun was going to be someplace where both of them could stand up and make a run for it. Dominic started to shift and try to stretch his legs in preparation. "Turn around to face the trunk, and get ready to bolt when the trunk opens, okay?"

"Why? Mister Lex won't be happy with me if I don't do as I'm told, and I suspect that running is right out," James told him. The frown in his voice was clearly audible.

"Just don't whine when your holding still gets you shot."

"Mister Lex won't shoot me."

Determined little bastard. Dominic couldn't help but bait at him. "Why're you so sure?"

"I told you I'm far too adorable to kill. Trust me, I know. Even that machine maniac of a Major never did it."

"Must have been a soft heart," Dominic snorted softly. "Luthors don't play around when they're angry."

"Maybe he's going to punish us." Was that weak-kneed LUST in that voice!? Oh God no!

They hit another pothole, and Dominic ended up jostled against the other accountant. "I'm, I'm sure he will!"

"I can't wait!" James whimpered excitedly. "Oh, oh! I hope it's so good!"

"You sick little fucker." Dominic pushed him back when they hit another pothole, and then jolted or veered to a sudden stop. It wasn't a stoplight stop.

Luthors never cut their engines at stoplights.

"Maybe he's going to let us out now?" It was breathlessly hopeful. God, Dominic was really starting to hate the bastard in the trunk with him.

If they weren't shot, he was going to punch the little bugger's lights out, just for the nerve he'd had to have rubbed up against him. "Get ready to move," Dominic hissed softly. He could hear a muffled door-slam.

"It's all right, Willard," James soothed, and a squeak came in response. "I still love you. I'm sure Mister Lex is planning something fun for us."

"Shh."

A shift, and he had to lean on the little man to hear strains of conversation. Something about no strings. And a familiar purring voice. "Lionel..."

"Oh, you mean that bad man who keeps wanting to look at the books? I have four sets, you know," James said happily. Four SETS!?

"He's not bad," Dominic growled, reaching for the little bastard's throat.

It was then that the latch of the trunk popped.

"Well, well, son. At least you seem to have foregone the duct tape this time. It was the very devil to keep Dominic from yelping like some puppy when you delivered him to me previously," Lionel drawled.

"I assure you that he was properly wrapped up when I threw him in here. Your gift must've taken care of the tape -- get them out of the back of my car, and you can keep them."

Dominic pushed the smaller accountant down with the hand that was hovering near his throat, and started to stiffly climb out of it. "Mr. Luthor..."

A loud wail sounded from the trunk, hazel eyes welling with fat tears. God, it was really hurting at least three pairs of ears, but...

Well, James had been right. He might just be too pretty to kill.

"Oh, MISTER LEX! You aren't going to give me away!? I've worked so hard for yo~u!"

Lex winced, glancing towards the sidewalk in a look that Dominic knew, at east, meant he was debating his next action.

"Which is exactly why it's time for someone else to utilize your services, James. Dad, this is my ex-accountant Mr. James. Please, enjoy his services."

"Well, from the looks of it, Dominic hasn't enjoyed him very much..." Lionel began doubtfully.

"Oh, but Mister Lex! His books can't be HALF as fun as yours!" James interrupted, sniffling.

Both Lionel and Lex snorted -- or did they laugh? -- in frightening tandem.

"Believe me, Dad's books are fun in their own way. Senatori, get the fuck out of my trunk..."

Dominic set two shaky feet on the gravel, and twisted to drag the now quite admittedly pretty bugger out with him.

"And will he give me... You know. IT?"

"Drugs? Lex, have you been..."

"You're going to have fun with this one." Lex was just shaking his head as he walked past both accountants to slam the trunk shut. "He gives Dominic 'It', so maybe you three can work something out. You have a good day, Dad. I sure as hell will."

"Ohhhh!! IIII~IIIIT!" James shrieked behind him, and Lex could almost hear his arms clamping around Lionel.

"LEX! LEX!"

Dominic stood by with a look of horror on his face, as the younger Luthor hurried into the driver's seat, and peeled off.

And suddenly wished he'd been shot after all.