Title: Moments in Stillness
Author: Erika
Email: funhapjoy@yahoo.com
Fandom: Smallville/Highlander
Disclaimer: 'Till the day I die, I will stake my claim to Methos' boxer shorts. Beta: Pollyanna and Sylvie.
Summary: Crossover. Sometimes you need to take chances, or life passes you by.

Website:
http://www.geocities.com/carlajanep/Erika/EEpart00.html

~oo00oo~

Over the past few years, Clark had taken many things for granted. Lex's presence in his life, his friendship with Chloe and Pete, his feelings for Lana... He had taken their constancy as a given, and not even when he went off to university and donned the cape did he think things would change.

In his defence, he was still that same farm boy who saved lives; the only difference was that he saved them wearing lycra instead of flannel.

It wasn't until he had returned to Earth from a two-month voyage with the Justice League that he had begun to notice the sudden changes to in the people in his life. The first starting with Pete dating Lana, followed by Chloe moving to England to work for the BBC, leaving printed journalism behind. Just as he was adjusting to this, an unannounced visit to Lex's penthouse revealed that maybe he should reconsider these overextended, across-the-galaxy excursions with the League.

As the tips of his feet touched the rail of the balcony, Clark stared inside Lex's penthouse in total shock. Lex was entertaining someone in the bedroom, and Clark almost plummeted to the ground when he grasped who Lex was with.

He didn't need X-Ray vision to make out the outlines of Lex's face, or that of his companion.

He couldn't seem to stop staring, like a horrified bystander witnessing an accident that had taken place.

From this short distance, Clark could hear the gentle murmur between the two people inside the room. Their voices sounded to him like shouts muffled by water, as if he was drowning.

Maybe if he closed his eyes it would all go away.

Maybe if he went back to bed, and started the day anew, he'd find that all of this was just a horrible nightmare.

But when Lex moaned the word, "Adam," Clark could no longer deny or brush off what he had unwittingly witnessed.

~oo00oo~

Clark hated him.

Hated the man sitting beside Lex.

Hated how Lex reached for his lover. How he seemed to welcome the caress, the closeness between them, allowing an invasion of his personal space that just seemed wrong to Clark in so many ways.

Lex and Adam sat on the sofa, comfortable in each other's presence the way he and Lex used to be. Lex was sitting at the edge of his seat, hands busy manipulating the controls of the PlayStation, glancing at the screen and then at Clark.

Adam was sprawled next to him, one hand holding a beer, the other resting on top of Lex's thigh, absentmindedly tapping at it whenever Lex scored a point against the Republican Guards.

"One minute, I was crossing the street. The next I was being tackled from behind..."

Clark fixed a smile on his lips as he listened to Lex prattle on about how he met Adam. How Adam saved his life. How Adam had refused his offer of a reward, not wanting anything in return for a deed that anyone would have done.

And as Clark came close to being physically ill, Lex continued to explain how he had never met anyone like 'Adam', who didn't want anything in return.

Did his friendship with Clark mean nothing to Lex? Clark wondered, half hearing Lex describe how Adam, unlike some, wasn't impressed with the Luthor name. And the torture continued with Lex listing all of Adam's positive traits, like he was someone Lex could fence with, was an expert in Greek history and Ancient Languages.

It was, Clark thought, like suddenly waking up and realizing that someone had taken away his favourite toy.

Lex wasn't supposed to be interested in guys. Debutantes, poor little rich girls -- yes, but a guy who sprawled on the sofa as though it was an Olympic sport -- no.

To make matters worse, Adam was someone Lex could talk to, whether the topic raised was science, arts or politics. Adam seemed to know it all.

As Lex continued to talk, Clark realized that Adam wasn't just someone Lex fucked, and could then discard; he was rapidly becoming someone Lex could confide in, especially the kinds of things he usually reserved only for Clark.

Clark was slowly realizing that he was being replaced, being tossed aside for a brighter, shinier plaything, and that revelation ended up shocking Clark more than the fact that Lex was gay.

~oo00oo~

It had been a busy week. A busy month, to be exact.

Tornadoes in the Midwest, mudslides in Columbia, earthquakes in Mexico...and those were actually the small things that had gotten his attention. The more important things, well, he...couldn't deal with.

Clark tried to stick close to Metropolis, to Lex, partly afraid of what would happen if he left even for a short period of time. He had nightmares about coming back from a mission only to discover that Lex and Adam had got married-- not that they could, laws being as they were, but Lex was not above flouting Federal and State laws.

How man times had he heard Lex say, "Nobody dictates to a Luthor?" And if his relationship to Adam was serious...

So Clark tried to stay close, even if that meant putting up with the interloper.

Tolerating and accepting these changes were two different things, though.

When Lex was working in his office, Clark took to stalking Adam, hoping to find anything he could use against him, only to come up short.

Adam studied, drank beer, and sprawled everywhere.

He also seemed to escape the pitfalls that usually troubled Lex's friends, like getting along with the ever-present bodyguards, Mercy and Hope.

A definite first, Clark thought, remembering his own tumultuous relationship with the two women, who had a tendency of treating him like a bug they wished they could swat away.

How many times had he caught Adam fencing with Mercy? Or caught Hope smiling, actually smiling at the creep as they bantered with one another?

They had never treated him like that...Instead, Clark had always felt uncomfortable around them. As though they had judged him unworthy of Lex's friendship, of his time and patience.

The bodyguards' reaction was not the only thing that concerned Clark. The longer Adam and Lex were together, the more Clark realized how little time he actually spent with Lex.

What had happened to their weekly movie nights?

When was the last time Lex had been by to see Clark's parents?

Between saving the world and writing about it, Clark realized he had gone through long stretches of not seeing Lex, but unlike before, this time Lex hadn't waited for him. Lex hadn't made the effort to make time for Clark, hadn't asked him about work, the latest interview, or how things were at the farm.

Instead, Lex now talked about business, his latest acquisition and Adam.

He had stopped asking questions about Clark's secrets, about the everyday things that made up Clark's life, until it seemed to Clark as though they were having a meaningless conversation that would soon stop altogether.

When had their legendary friendship changed to that of mere acquaintances?

It was that fear that drove Clark away from stalking Adam, and instead he began to watch over every facet of Lex's life, trying somehow to get back the friendship that was once his.

Lex became the thing he investigated, the reason Clark was never at his office. All of Clark's honed skills as an investigative reporter were being used, fully, as he relearned and, in some cases, learned more about his friend.

Why hadn't he ever noticed that Lex would run his hand over the back his head when he was nervous?

Or that he was a big Bob Dylan fan?

Or that he never seemed to stop talking during sex, about money markets, lab reports, and even once did a recitation of the Iliad, Clark thought, remembering back to a private scene he had spied on between the two lovers.

"She wasn't beautiful, you know."

"What?" Lex had gasped, as Adam had spread Lex's legs, moving between them, their bodies lined up, thrusting into Lex's body with each spoken word.

"Helen of Troy."

"She was, too." Lex's arms were being held tightly above him, and Clark had watched as Lex had turned his head to keep himself from screaming.

"They aged really quickly then, and the war was never really about her, anyway."

"Huh?" Lex had turned to blink up at Adam.

"Nobody wanted Helen, it was all about getting into Paris' pants." Adam had then leant in to kiss Lex's exposed neck. "Hmm...It was all about men becoming men, about the adventure, getting away from the women folk, having an excuse to battle, to pillage." He thrust forward again, making Lex's body arch in the process. "To take."

There were so many facets of Lex that Clark had never been privy to, that he now found himself unable to forget.

Clark couldn't believe he had never noticed the way Lex, the ordinary guy that hid deep within the businessman, rambled on about things that in another setting would be considered geeky.

He had once walked in on a conversation between Lex and Adam, as they argued the finer points of Alternate Universes, and how one answers the question, 'What is the truth?'

"...there are so many possibilities, of making the wrong mistake, of creating a doomed world, if you will." Lex had tilted his head and looked at Adam questioningly. "What if I had taken the Red pill instead of the Blue?"

"What if you had taken both?" Adam had responded, his hands busy unzipping Lex's dress pants.

"You are not helping here," Lex had playfully swatted the hand away, then blushed somewhat at having been caught in a compromising situation by Clark.

Clark always seemed to walk in on the wrong moments, putting a momentary stop to Lex's seduction. Adam never seemed that bothered by it, these impromptu rescues; he would instead just smile and wink at Clark, teasing playfully and calling Clark Lex's hero.

The more Clark observed Lex and Adam's interaction, the more it troubled him.

He would never have guessed that Lex wore flannel boxers to bed.

Or that one could make Lex do anything, ANYTHING, for a taste of pecan ice cream.

The only good thing to have come out of all this was that he now understood all those things that Lex had tried for years to explain.

The Roman Empire, the Rise of Christendom, the Fall of Napoleon, things that Lex had tried to teach him, but that Clark had never really paid attention to until Lex stopped explaining, stopped sharing and instead searched for someone he could converse with. Someone who didn't need cheats notes to get by.

~oo00oo~

Weeks turned into months. Months into a year.

As much as Clark wanted to wish Adam away, it slowly began to feel like the professor would become a permanent fixture in Lex's life.

Clark tried not to dwell too much on this, on the possibility of this particular nightmare never ending.

As Clark continue to swim up the river of denial, Adam upstaged him at every turn, each time proving how, in many ways, Lex no longer needed Clark.

It all came to a head when Clark missed Lex's thirtieth birthday, what with being too busy saving the world.

He had been home gift wrapping Lex's belated present when Lex had called him.

Adam was always sharing things with Lex, witty anecdotes about 'Alexander the Great', so Clark was only half listening as Lex explained, "...it's quite small and ordinary-looking, really, with only one small gem adorning the handle..."

"Ah...hmm." Clark just continued to wrap the gift, when the tape got caught along the edges of the paper, tearing at it. Damn. "You were saying?"

"Clark. Clark. Oh, God. You have to see it!" There was no denying the excitement in Lex's voice. And did Lex really have to sound like that when he was saying Clark's name?

"See what?" What had they been talking about? It had something to do with Adam.

"The sword, Clark. It once belonged to Alexander the goddamned Great," Lex repeated, laughing into the phone.

Oh.

By now, Clark had crumbled the bright blue wrapping paper until it looked like a child had gift-wrapped it.

Clark coughed. "You're sure?"

"Yes!" Lex kept sounding like a ten-year-old high on sugar. "He's got this friend, an old antiquity dealer, who happened upon it. It's gorgeous. It's been in a private collection for years, Clark. And now...it's mine."

Clark looked down at the present he had hoped to give to Lex, a rare Warrior Angel signed comic, in which Devilicus finally admits his feelings to Warrior Angel.

"...I can't believe he did this. Nobody has ever done something like this for me, Clark."

He could sill hear the excitement in Lex's voice ringing in his ear even after he had hung up the phone...and with a flick of the wrist, Clark tossed the comic book behind him. It hit the wall, falling into the crack that separated it from the sofa.

How could his gift compete with that?

~oo00oo~

Over the past year, Clark had gotten used to seeing Lex with Adam, everywhere. To being an outsider of what was once his most treasured friendship.

He slowly stopped questioning whether Adam was right for Lex and started grudgingly to accept things, determined not to lose more ground.

And while he could admit to sometimes being quite dense, he could no longer deny the unavoidable. Lex only had eyes for Adam.

So focused was he on rebuilding his friendship with Lex, on getting back into the fold, that he failed to notice when, one day, Lex stopped mentioning Adam's name.

Clark waited for the punch line that never appeared on the horizon.

Lex had moved on, and Clark never learned what happened. Who ended it. Just that Adam went one way and Lex the other.

All his questions to Lex were met with a sad smile, a gentle shrug, and a somewhat embarrassed look.

There was something there, a secret that Lex didn't seem willing to share, at least not with him.

As Adam exited Lex's life, hope arose in Clark's heart.

But before Clark was even able to welcome Lex's new single-guy status, things again shifted and moved far more rapidly than he had ever thought possible.

Instead of Lex being in a monogamous relationship, there was now a string of lovers, each one more exotic than the last one, male or female, all there to serve Lex, and Clark could do nothing but watch as Lex moved from one lover to another.

It got to the point that Clark was forced to search for a means of correcting the situation and for a person he thought could make things better, only to discover that Adam wasn't so easily found.

It took him about a week, flying over the world as Superman, before he was able to locate Adam. He found him in a pub in London.

Clark decided to fly to England the next day as Clark Kent, hoping to somehow convince Adam to either go back to Lex or explain to him what had happened.

But Adam was not easily intimidated; he just seemed amused by Clark's reaction.

"Look, I know we have never truly gotten along..."

"You don't say." Adam just sprawled further into the sofa, watching as Clark paced angrily in front of him.

"Adam, if you care for him at all..."

"There was never any doubt to my feelings," Adam confided, feet resting on top of the coffee table, hands behind his head.

"What?"

"Get me a beer, will you?" Adam ordered, snapping Clark away from his own thoughts.

Clark took a beer out of the fridge and tossed it to Adam.

"He needs you." It pained Clark to admit this. "You have to go back. He's slowly self-destructing. You should see what he brings home."

"And have you seen, Clark?"

Clark ignored the question and kept on rambling.

"He brought home these two tattooed muscle men, they could have been bikers, and that wasn't as bad as the girl with all those piercings all over her body."

Adam just laughed, waving the beer bottle around.

"No, really?"

"I'm not joking. Lex could get hurt."

But Adam, the bastard, just smirked and Clark found himself ranting even more.

If it weren't for the fact that Lex still seemed to be attached, in love, with the infuriating man..."Damn it, Adam! Why is Lex doing this?" Clark found himself shouting across the room.

"He is a grown man, Clark," Adam told him as he started to peel the label around the beer bottle.

"I know that!" Clark fumed.

"Do you?"

"You're not paying attention here, Adam."

"On the contrary, you have my complete undivided attention." Adam tilted his head and looked at Clark as a predator would to his prey just before it sprung. "So, you don't like the toys Lex fucks." Adam smiled. "You are not his keeper, Clark."

"I should be," Clark murmured, running his hand through his hair in complete frustration.

"Really?" There was a glint that appeared in Adam's gaze that, if Clark had noticed it, would have warned him of upcoming danger.

"Please, Adam. Tell me."

"I'm not the one with X-Ray vision," Adam gently informed him at last, looking at Clark expectantly, waiting for Clark to react only to find himself staring at Clark's dumbfounded expression.

Honestly, Clark didn't need some condescending snit questioning his intelligence.

Whatever happened to plain speaking? It wasn't as if he'd been born in a barn.

Adam could have just said, "I don't know."

X-Ray vision, like that was an answer.

And Clark flew back to the States, leaving behind the grey English weather.

~oo00oo~

Once back in Metropolis, it wasn't as if he could avoid checking inside Lex's bedroom.

He was here to make sure nothing happened to Lex, or so he told himself.

In reality, he wouldn't have been able to stay away.

One night, as Lex was blindfolded and tied down to the bed, Clark did the one thing he had never thought he would do.

He interfered.

The man Lex had brought home had begun to undress when Superman flew into the Penthouse, into the bedroom, grabbed him by the back of the shirt and quickly rushed him out of there, dumping the man in an alley.

"Hey, look, Superman..."

"Don't." Unbeknownst to Clark, his eyes flashed red. With the man still standing there, looking at him, Clark found himself whispering menacingly, "Get!"

Clark waited for the man to disappear before he returned to Lex's apartment. It was time they talked, but his intentions, however good, flew out the window when he came face-to-face with what he most desired.

"Where were you?" Lex asked, pulling at the ties around his wrists, mistaking Clark for the stranger. "Paul?"

Clark remained silent as he untied Lex's wrists, desperately trying to avoid looking at Lex's aroused body.

Now free, but still blindfolded, Lex raised his hands and tangled them in Clark's hair, pulling Clark to him.

Then Lex tilted his head, kissing Clark gently on the mouth.

Clark gasped as he broke free. "You don't..." only to have Lex bury his face against the crook of Clark's neck, licking and nibbling along Clark's jaw.

When one of Lex's hands went to cup Clark's ass, it tugged at the cape instead.

"What?" Lex stopped, hands now reaching for his blindfold.

"Wait." Clark took Lex's hands and pinned him to the bed.

"Is that a cape? Kinky." There was amusement in Lex's voice.

"I..." How could he explain this?

But Lex just tugged impatiently away at the Superman costume as he breathlessly moaned along Clark's ear.

It was too much.

It felt worse than Kryptonite, knowing that Lex could do this with strangers but never with Clark.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Clark pushed himself up and away from Lex, tearing out of there as though he was being chased by demons.

Maybe he was.

~oo00oo~

It took Clark nearly a week to finally come to his senses and get over his embarrassment.

A week spent wallowing, avoiding Lex.

Just when he finally gathered his courage, to see Lex, to confront him, fate decided to interfere.

Adam was in town.

He had nobody but himself to blame for this.

Hadn't he begged Adam to come back?

He rose up, high above the city, and screamed in frustration.

When would it be his time?

~oo00oo~

Clark kept glancing at Lex, who just wore a healthy happy glow.

Clark had been over last night, and he had witnessed the sparks, the ties that still connected Lex with Adam.

"So," Clark ventured, further stabbing his own heart. "I guess Adam is going to be staying?"

"Why would you say that?" Lex asked, biting into his peach.

"He was here last night." Wasn't he? Or had Clark imagined that particular scene? Maybe the stress was getting to him, and his sadistic mind was providing even more ammunition.

"Yeah." Lex just continued munching. Juice from the ripe peach trailed down Lex's wrist. "Damn," he said as he licked it away.

Clark just stopped breathing.

"Clark?" Lex asked him, as Clark continued to stare.

"What?" Oh, yeah. Clark blushed. If he wiped the drool away, would Lex notice?

But Lex just seemed to gaze at Clark in concern, the peach juice dripping down to the carpet.

Without thinking, Clark crossed the great divide that separated him from Lex, took the peach away from his friend, put it down on the side table, and licked Lex's fingers clean, tasting the sweetness of the peach mixed in with Lex's own flavour.

Lex took deep breaths, as if hypnotized by the way his fingers slipped easily into Clark's mouth.

Maybe he should have done this long ago, when Adam had first appeared. Staked a claim to Lex's heart, instead of tormenting himself with the image of Lex as Don Juan.

Pushing Lex onto the couch, Clark realized that they still hadn't talked, hadn't settled the Adam question, or all the questions Clark had wanted to ask.

But it didn't seem that important to know what the heck Lex had been up to, and why he had allowed himself to become involved with every Tom, Dick and Harriet, as long as they were here now, doing this together.

It seemed natural, like they had been doing this all along, moving together, each in sync with one another.

Hands impatiently tearing at clothes, shoving tables out of the way, falling to the floor, pushing cushions off the couch and finally touching Lex like he had always wanted to.

It couldn't get better than this.

But he was wrong.

It could.

~oo00oo~

Sometime during the night, they had made their way into the bedroom.

Clark didn't remember much aside from the fact he had been buried deep within Lex, each step causing a delicious murmur to rise out of Lex's throat.

"Hmm...keep doing that," Lex had said, his voice laced with sleep.

On his side, with Lex in his arms, Clark stopped nibbling at the back of Lex's neck. "Morning."

How did one transition from friend to lover? Clark did not know, but he was going to find out.

Clark hugged Lex one more time before letting him go.

Lex yawned as he turned onto his back. "Hey." He still seemed to be waking up. He rubbed his eyes and then rested his head on Clark's shoulder.

"What time is it?"

"Eight," Clark answered, waiting for Lex to finally realize that he was in bed with his best friend.

Lex groaned and closed his eyes. "I'm beat."

Lex placed his left hand on top of Clark's chest, his breath tickling Clark's neck. The minutes ticked by and Clark ventured to say, "Lex?"

"Hmm..." Lex hooked his left leg on top of Clark.

This was sweet torture. "Are we just going to stay in bed all day?"

"Yeah. Do you mind?"

No. Never.

This is what he had dreamed of all those lonely nights.

Clark's hand trailed down Lex's cheek; his thumb traced Lex's left eyebrow.

"Hey, stop that. Some people are trying to sleep."

Naked and able to feel every inch of Lex: this was what he had wanted.

"Lex."

"Clark."

"I'm serious here."

"I know," Lex sighed, as though realizing that they could no longer put off having this conversation. "What do you want to know?"

"Adam. Is he...Are you two still seeing each other?"

Lex sat up, looked right then left. "I don't see him here."

Smart aleck.

"You know what I mean."

"He dropped by to make sure I was still alive and kicking."

Oh.

"It seems a certain farm boy ran across the pond and told quite a few tall tales."

"I was just..." Clark tried to explain.

"And he was also here to collect on a bet." Lex smiled as he moved on top of Clark to straddle his hips. "You owe me twenty thousand dollars, Clark."

"I do?" He couldn't think with Lex on top of him.

"You do." Lex playfully traced Clark's ribcage. "So, how do you want to pay up?"

"Umm..." God.

"I'll take instalments."

"You will?"

"I'll make an exception in your case," Lex rocked back and forth, creating delicious sweaty heat between them.

"Lex?"

"Yeah," Lex moaned, his thumb reaching to caress Clark's nipple.

"What was the bet?" This was just...

"Oh, you know."

"No."

Gentle, embarrassed laughter, and Lex stopped moving altogether. "He...um... said you were taken with me." Lex's smile increased in size. "And that there was a certain man-in-tights who wore a strong resemblance to a certain hick."

No longer aroused, and feeling like cold water had been tossed at him, Clark tried to get away, but his body really wasn't cooperating, especially not with Lex looking at him like that, like he could eat Clark up in all one bite.

"Look," Clark really hadn't thought this through beyond the fact he wanted to be in Lex's bed. Superman was a question, a topic, he had hoped to cover on another day.

"Shh...It's all right."

To Clark, it seemed as though Lex was trying to calm a frightened colt.

"I always knew, deep down, that you were, you know." And Lex flapped his arms.

"A bird," Clark guessed, not pleased with this turn of events.

"Superman, you jerk."

"I was going to tell you," Clark confided. One day.

"Well, I should hope so."

Lex moved and lay down next to Clark.

"So, how long have you been using your Peeping Tom powers to stalk me?"

"I..."

"Yes, I'm waiting."

"I was concerned, what with Adam being..."

Lex just smirked. "A guy?"

"No, just..." It sounded crazy now, if he actually thought about it.

"Normal?"

"You seemed to fit so well. He's everything," I'm not, Clark left unsaid.

"Hmm..." Lex just glanced at him as though reading Clark's mind. "You're right."

"What!" They almost fell off the bed. Lex just held more tightly onto Clark, waiting for him to calm down.

"The sex was great, but then you would know that." Clark blushed. "And I'm not going to lie and say..." Lex paused, frowning slightly. "Adam really was good for me, but Clark," he held Clark's face in his hands, "you're better."

"How do you know that?"

Lex swept down and kissed Clark. "I was a fortune teller in my past life, didn't you know that?"

Clark wanted to believe that they could do this, start from here and form something that was lasting.

"Now, stop thinking. You are giving me a headache, and frankly there are more important things you should be concentrating on." There was a mischievous twinkle reflected in Lex's blue-grey eyes.

"There are?" Clark asked, smiling back.

"How the hell are you going to keep me satisfied?"

"Lex?"

"I have needs, Clark." There was a teasing tone in Lex's voice.

"About that..."

"Deep needs," Lex continued ignoring the interruption. "You're sure you are up to it?"

"Yes."

"Because, I have this little black book..." Clark had almost forgotten all those multiple partners Lex had been engaging with lately.

"Which you will no longer use." He'd burn it later.

Clark then reached out and gathered Lex in his arms. Perfect. He could hear their hearts slowly beginning to beat in sync with each other.

"Idiot," Lex said affectionately, as he nibbled at Clark's ear.

Yeah, he definitely was.