Remembering

Don't own them and I never will. If I did you might finally see something good on TV. Rating - G Implied M/M situations

Lyrics borrowed from Josh Groban's "To Where You Are"

*Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be*

Clark refused to believe the letter in his hand. Whitney couldn't be, no don't go there, this had to be a mistake. If Clark closed his eyes he could still picture that perfect angular face in his mind, see dark blue eyes alight with passion. Clark reached out to run his hand down the strong jaw of his lover when the pain of loss washed over him. As the tears ran down his face Clark shut his eyes and allowed his memory to transport him.

*That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above*

Whitney had first spoken to him in freshman year.

"Dude, are you feeling all right? You look like you're about to - to hurl."

Other tidbits followed until Clark had been able to admit his feeling to Whitney during that brief period he had lost his powers. Clark could now hear all the other things that Whitney never got to say before he left, Happy Birthday Clark, Happy 1st Anniversary. At least he had been lucky enough to hear Whitney say the one thing he had always hoped to hear after revealing his true secret

"I loved you the first moment that I saw you. I'll still love you when I see you again."

*Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there A breath away's not far
To where you are*

His first memory of those strong hands, was of Whitney untying him for the cross the other jockstraps had left him on. Hands that had stroked and caressed. Hands that had memorised his body. Hands that he could now almost feel wrapped around him as his grief threatened to overwhelm him.

*Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen*

Memories of nights spent in his Fortress of Solitude after Whitney came into his life. Nights just relaxing in each others arms replaying their day. Nights spent learning each others bodies and the passion that always followed. And one final night of pain and loss, setting a lover free to find himself so he could return stronger.

*As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave*

Stolen moments when Clark could engage in his secret vice, watching Whitney as he slept. All the stress of the day would seep from his face leaving a tousled blond angel behind. Clark would sometimes sneak into his bedroom just to lay his hand on Whitney's chest to feel the rise and fall of each breath and the beat of the heart that had captured his. The nights they could spent together were the best. Watching Whitney fight to stay awake to prolong their time together as Clark would rub his back soothing him into sleep. That final night spent beside his lover and understanding for the first time what it meant to truly pray.

*Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there*

He needed Whitney, needed to feel those arms encircling him, needed something to take away all the pain and terror and knew that nothing would. Wondering if he could survive this and hoping that he wouldn't., he opened his eyes and found the star that Whitney had chosen as his home then looked at this letter in his hand.

This was all he had left of his life a star and a piece of paper

*A breath away's not far
To where you are
I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are*

End 12/03/03