LOVE

Bruce watches the kid work his way over to the corner he's sitting in. He's feeling that warm shift he gets in his chest whenever he catches Lex enjoying himself. It's a rare occasion that the kid lets himself feel good and he can tell by his posture, his movements that he's ... happy. Bruce likes seeing Lex in unguarded moments. His eyes narrow a little in pleasure as he watches the kid let out a genuine laugh at something some little debutante says. He throws his head back, his hand going up to tug at the black bow tie at his neck. Bruce closes his eyes and lets out a soundless sigh, pulled into a memory of Lex with his head thrown back, his hand going up to tug at the black collar around his neck; Bruce's hand twisted in it from behind. The kid is making these harsh low almost barking noises as he tries to drag air into his lungs. He's shivering and shaking and Bruce rips his eyes open and looks around a little sheepishly. 'God. ..please.. no telepaths in here..' Of course Lex would be the one he makes eye contact with. The kid looks briefly puzzled and then smirks. 'Damn!' He licks that little scar on his lip like it's candy (like Bruce likes to do) and Bruce tries to figure out how he can project sex across nearly the length of the ballroom in stuttering jerky lighting that makes everyone else look like elegantly dressed spastic corpses. Lex is suddenly at his side, one elegant hand balled on his hip as he leans against the table. Bruce slides his finger over a nearly white knuckle, giving lie to Lex's relaxed pose. ." What happened?" Bruce asks. The kid leans in to him slightly, eyes fixed on the dance floor. "It's getting to be a bit...much," he says with a grimace that he probably thinks is a smile," But it's ok, I just need a break." Bruce smiles back, one of his smiles that he still hasn't realized, is not. But the kid knows, can read him like a book, reads everyone as though they were crystal. It's a talent and a habit developed in an effort to save himself and it works on everyone but the one he tries to protect himself from. There's a devil in his house. Bruce knows about devils and trying to save yourself. He knows how hard it is to try and do it alone. If there's one thing Bruce is intimate with, it's Alone.

He rubs the kid's knuckle a little harder, presses down with his nail. Lex sighs and closes his eyes. Bruce flashes back to an image of Lex..Lex screaming and screaming, his room a blizzard of shredded paper. In fact it looks pretty much like a vicious and very insane tornado has worked its way through the room. The fact that Bruce is in the room with Lex guarantees that no one else will try to get there. He's leaning against the locked door and watching Lex just kind of ...explode, and implode and explode again. He's shrieking now," He's trying to kill me, he's trying to kill me!!" and it escalates till it's not even words anymore. Bruce feels as though every nerve in his body is being stretched out and scraped raw and he wishes desperately not to be there and wants to run, but Lex is his friend. He knows how this feels, wants to hold him, and wants to smack the shit out of him. The kids kneeling in the middle of this mess, gutted phone in front of him, ground zero of this meltdown. He's pounding it over and over and screaming something. Bruce is staring at him because Lex's eyes are boring into his and suddenly the sound that's been drilling into his ears clicks and becomes words. "Help me, help me," He's screaming it over and over so Bruce... helps. He smacks him so hard he bowls Lex over. He's laying spread out on the floor, hand to his jaw and his eyes closed, an expression of relief so plain that it hurts Bruce.

Control. It's all about who has it. Who loses it. Who gets it forced on them and who has it ripped away. Love and hate, pain and power, and it all comes down to one basic thing. Control. HATE
Bruce has control. He's seventeen and he controls a financial empire. He controls the school he attends. He controls the mansion whether he's in residence or not. He controls his emotions. He controls any aspect of his life he can because he has learned the lesson. To lose control is to die. Mother and Father died because they lost control of the situation they were forced into. Bruce lived because when the Monster with the gun said."Scream and die, Be quiet and live," he forced the scream scrabbling in his throat back down and lived. He has control. He doesn't cry. He doesn't shout. He never breaks. But sometimes he needs to take... a little control. And sometimes he can give a little to Lex. PAIN
After the ball, after all the social obligations are laid to rest and they're back in the room they share, in the bed they share, after talking about projects due and papers due, gossip around the school and bone-shaking, tooth-rattling sex, Lex drifts off on a wave of contentment. He floats, deeper and deeper into sleep. He's dragged into an undertow of darkness. Deeper and deeper and he suddenly becomes aware of a presence with him in the black... Daddy's home. Lex is in the bathroom. He's locked himself in. Daddy comes in anyway, because he has a key. He doesn't like the three parallel lines on Lex's forearm. They're fresh and new, still leaking a bit raw looking compared to the other lines, some not quite so neat. Daddy's really, really mad, he's yelling about duty and responsibility and control. Lex sees a blur and a flash and his mouth is filled with blood. He sees stars for a moment and wonders why his lip, his mouth is on fire. Dad pulls him to his feet and shakes him. Lex knows that it's his fault that Dad's lost his temper. He sees the blood on his father's hand and something shiny,"Oh, the key!" He knows he's bad, but there's a little feeling sneaking in under the fear, a tiny smugness. "You did that," a small voice whispers." You made Father lose the fabled " Luthor Control". There's power in that feeling. But it also hurts so terribly because Mom is dead, and Father hates him and all he has is this ability to make him snap. It's the only touch he's going to get and he's so goddamn alone. Alone again and rocking, rocking on the bathroom floor. The image fades but the rocking doesn't He hears his name and he's pulled back to the here and now, Bruce gently shaking his shoulder. He wakes all the way, looks up into the eyes of the only person who can touch him without breaking him. POWER
Bruce is furious but keeps his touch on the kid light. "Having that goddamned Daddy Dearest nightmare again."He leans in and kisses him lightly on the scar on his lip. He keeps his eyes open, watches Lex as he stroke his neck, presses his thumb into the hollow of his throat and waits until the sound of his breathing catches and gets a little rough. He kisses his eyelids and thinks about killing the kid's dad .He gives him open mouth kisses on his cheeks because it makes the kid giggle and thinks about gutting Daddy Luthor. He works his way down Lex's side, nibbling and sucking and licking down his ribs, across his stomach, back to his hip, to a spot he knows when he licks and bites down there, it'll make Lex jerk up off the bed. In Bruce's mind he's got Daddy in a big glass box. Old Dad wired for your viewing pleasure and Bruce is handing Lex the on/off switch for the current. Soon nearly everyone will have fun. It's his favorite fantasy. CONTROL
When he comes, Bruce is very loud. Walls shaking loud. What the fuck was that !loud. In a dorm full of adolescent boys, no one says a word about it to either of them. Ever. No one smirks at them when they enter a room; No one says a damn thing when they leave. Ever. Control. Bruce has it. Lex loves to give it to him. Lex is quiet. He never makes a sound louder than a quick intake of air. Lex is a wonderful student. He never forgets anything he's taught. Good boys don't make noise. Good boys are obedient. Good boys suck their boyfriend's brains out through their dicks and make them scream so hard they choke. Bruce is teaching Lex about control. It's his last year and next year Lex will be alone. Bruce is determined not to leave him unprotected. He knows that when he is gone the likelihood of them ever being together again is slim. So. He gives the kid everything he can and Lex, being the good student he is, absorbs it all, makes it part of himself. One day, there will be very little difference between the two.