Disclaimer: If they were mine, I'd probably attract all the kryptofreaks.

A/N: Thank you to Kel for the beta and to Jeff for congratulating me on knowing my way around a pair of breasts. Written for LaT's Isn't It Iconic Ficathon for coffeejunkii, without whose influence, I never would've written femmeslash. Feedback makes me dance naked on a table, and buy drinks for the whole bar.

Now That Is Exciting

It was just past close as Clark ambled up to the Talon and past Chloe's car to offer to walk Lana home, when there was a muffled thump followed by a squeak and a shriek coming from Adam's old apartment.

Without thinking, Clark burst through the glass doors and up the stairs, skidding to a halt when he heard a moan. Squinting through the thick wood, his jaw dropped as his cock rose. On the bed were Chloe and Lana, groaning, naked, sweaty and writhing. And before he realized what he was doing, he was hunched over outside the door and watching through it with his pants and boxers shoved down around his ankles and his hard cock hot in his warm hand.

Clark bit his bottom lip as his hand moved in a blur, jacking himself furiously to completion. He bit back a groan as he saw white and came over the door, the floor and his fingers.

As he tried to catch his breath, Clark pulled off his shirt and used it to wipe off everything his come had hit. Then he tugged up his boxers, fastened his pants and sped home.

That evening at the dinner table, Clark's parents' chatter echoed in his head as background noise while Clark absently pushed his food around his plate and tried not to think about what he'd seen. Lana. And Chloe. His ex-girlfriends. Having sex. On a bed. Maybe a lot. Maybe... maybe all the time. God, maybe they did that every night. Chloe would tiptoe lightly into Lana's room long after dark and her dad went to bed. She'd brush Lana's shoulder lightly with her fingertips to wake her. Lana would smile and sigh, shift in the sheets and she'd open her eyes, and Chloe would be right there, smiling back.

"Shhhh..." Chloe would say softly, leaning closer to brush her lips over Lana's.

Lana would sigh again, and as her lips parted, Chloe would slip her tongue between them. Lana would moan lightly and reach up, running her fingers through Chloe's hair and pulling her closer until their breasts were touching through two cotton tee-shirts and a jersey sheet.

And Chloe would move to straddle Lana and then she'd pull her lips away. They'd part with a soft, sticky snick and Lana would whimper as she reached for Chloe again. But she'd stop short as she saw Chloe pulling her shirt off over her head to reveal two heaving breasts.

And Lana's eyes would widen, and she'd sit up to get closer, and Chloe, panting heavily with dark, hooded eyes, would beg, "Lana, take your shirt off. I need to touch Clark."

Clark blinked.

"Clark," his mother said. "Are you done with your dinner?" She picked up his plate.

"Huh? Wha?" Clark asked, his vision clearing. "Mom?" he squeaked. He looked down at his lap. Oh, God, he was palming his dick. Under the dinner table. In front of, oh, crap. In front of his mom. "I, uh. I gotta go." Clark shot out to his loft.

He flopped down face-first on the sofa and groaned. This would only happen to him that his two ex-girlfriends would turn out to be lesbians and making it in the Talon, naked, and God, sweaty, and it was so damn hot that Clark had to flip onto his back because his zipper was digging into his erection.

And, yes, pulling the zipper down and easing his cock out of his pants before closing his fingers around it was so good because at that moment, Lana could've been peeling off her tee-shirt so both she and Chloe were topless, and reaching for each other, tentatively at first.

Lana blinked shyly at Chloe and asked, "Can, can I touch you?"

And Chloe could only nod because Lana's fingers were already trailing lightly down the tops of her breasts, and her breath hitched as Lana brushed over her nipples. And Lana grinned a wicked grin and said, "You like that."

And again, Chloe could only nod as her eyes drifted shut, and Lana licked her fingers and rubbed Chloe's nipples, which were hardening to peaks. Chloe was moaning and pressing into Lana's quick fingers when one of Lana's hands was replaced with her mouth and Chloe moaned louder, threw her head back, and wound her fingers through Lana's hair and pulled her closer while Lana's free hand found itself between Chloe's legs. She slipped one finger into Chloe's tight, wet pussy and brushed her thumb over Chloe's clit and Chloe screamed.

And Clark screamed, and he was coming and coming and coming all over his hand and his shirt and the couch.

He tried to catch his breath as he wiped his hand on his ruined shirt. Chloe and Lana kissing him woodenly made much more sense now. It was still a blow to his ego, but it sure was a hot blow. With that image in mind, Clark rolled over and fell asleep.