Disclaimer:These characters all belong to D.C. Comics, Warner Brothers, etc. I don't own anything except my own head.

This story is the first part in the Clark Kent-Luthor series.I hope you enjoy it.

The Kents were all gathered in there kitchen, enjoying their lunch when they heard a knock on there door. They all know who it was and why he was here. They even knew what he was going to say...or they thought they did.

Jonathan opened the door for his old friend and asked him to join them. An offer which Ethan declined with a serious look on his face. The Kents turned to look at each other. Now they were worried.

"Well, you all know why I'm here," he said as he handed Jonathan a brown envelope. "You were all right. Miss Dunleavy isn't Clark's mother"

At that, everyone gave a huge sigh of relief and smiled at the sheriff, but before any of them could say anything else, the man continued to speak.

"But Lionel Luthor is in fact, Clark's father."

Everyone went silent. Not even a pin dared to drop as the Kent's faces were plastered with the same `what-the-fuck?!' expressions. A fly literally flew into Clark's mouth before he spat it out with a disgusted look and put into eloquent words, what everyone else was thinking.

"What the fuck?!!"

"Clark!" his mother exclaimed, pursing her lips as she gave him `the look'. It took a while before the boy actually realized that he had even spoken and he blushed, giving out a quiet "sorry" and then turned to look at the floor.

"But-but, how can that be possible? I mean we'd-" Jonathan shouted before he shut up, realizing that he had almost accidentally told the cop that Clark switched his alien DNA sample with Pete's human one.

Pete's DNA...that meant that...

"Oh no!" The blond man exclaimed as the un-oiled wheels began to turn in his head.

Martha and Clark seemed to be thinking along the same line for they all turned to look at each other again, this time with an `Oh-shit!' expression on their faces.

"Well, since there's nothing I could for you, I guess I'll be leaving" Ethan said, sensing the heavy tension in the room and eager to escape it as he lets himself out.

The Kents continued to look at each other in the same fashion for a while until the phone decided to break the silence.

They left the phone ringing for a while, but the effect of the silent tension was already lost so Martha broke eye contact and picked up the phone.

"Hello? Yes, Mr. Luthor," at that Kent men turned to listen. "Yes, we just got them. Yes. Yes. OK, we'll be there Mr. Luthor." Then she hung up and turned to her family. "Lionel Luthor wants us over for dinner at the mansion tomorrow. He just got the results and wants to have a talk with Clark."

Her face was as pale as the rest of her family and Jonathan slumped down onto the sofa.

"What are we going to do?" Clark asked as he looked to his parents, hoping for answers he'll never get.

"Well, I suppose we have dinner at the mansion tomorrow." Martha replied. It was clearly not the answer Clark had been looking for.

"Can't we just ask for a retest?" Jonathan asked.

"Not without Lionel's permission, we could try asking him but he might get suspicious or offended since he seemed rather happy about being Clark's father. And if we do get permission, whose DNA are we going to use? If it comes out completely different they might realize that there's been a switch."

"So what are we going to do? Accept that he's Clark's father now? Isn't it bad enough that he owns almost everything in this town? Now he has my Clark too? This is a conspiracy. A conspiracy! Part of Lionel Luthor's plan to take over the world!" Jonathan shouted angrily.

"Jonathan calm down. There's really nothing we can do, at least not now. So maybe we should just go to dinner with him and see how it goes." Once again Martha was the calm one in the family.

"What about Pete?" Clark cut in.

"What about him?"

"It's his DNA. Don't you think he should know the results?"

"But Clark, Pete hates Lionel. He'll probably kill himself if he finds out. You know that."

"But he'll find out about the results sooner or later, dad."

Jonathan moved closer to give his son a pat on the back. "Well son, I suppose you'll have to go tell Pete then."

Clark sighed loudly before nodding defeatedly. He pulled on his denim jacket before speeding off to see his friend.

"So..." Clark started as he shifted nervously on his best friend's sofa. Pete was currently looking at him with a goofy grin on his face.. Clark wondered if he'd ever see it again after he told him.

"So you wanna shoot some hoops man?" Pete asked, bouncing the orange ball between his legs. When Clark gave him a grim expression, his face instantly became more serious.

"Clark, what's wrong?"

"Well...um. I-I don't know how to say this Pete, but, um. OK, here goes...I got the DNA results. It matched with Lionel Luthor's."

Pete's eyes widen in shock for a few minutes. Then he burst out laughing. Hysterically.

"Pete? Pete, are you alright?" This wasn't the reaction he'd expected and he wondered if he'd just pushed his friend over the edge.

Pete sobered after a few (very long) minutes.

"Good one Clark. I mean, I almost believed you there for a second. Damn you deserve an Oscar for that."

Clark bit his lips. "Actually, I wasn't kidding," he said as he handed the brown envelope to his friend.

The boy took it and looked at it for a while. Then fainted.

"Whoa! I just had the strangest dream" Pete slurred as his eyes flutter open.

"Pete, how many fingers am I holding up?" Clark asked as he held up three fingers.

"Six. Anyway Clark, in this dream-"

"You were Lionel Luthor's son" Clark finished for him.

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"Cause it's not a dream." Clark handed the envelope to his friend again.

The guy looked at it. Then fainted. Again

A few hours later, Pete stirred.

"Man was that a dream?" he said sluggishly.

"No, it wasn't." Clark replied.

"So I did make out with Denise Richards?" Pete said with a grin.

"Um, no that was probably a dream."

"Oh, too bad. So, what are you doing here man? Been waiting long? Sorry I dosed off. "

"Pete. IcameheretotellyouthatIgottheresultsfortheDNAtestbackandthatyou'reLionelLuthor'sson." He said all this in one breath and handed the envelope, once again to his friend. "I'm not kidding."

Pete fainted. AGAIN!

It was dark by the time Pete was up again, and this time Clark looked straight at him in the eye. He had the envelope in his hand.

"Pete. DON'T FAINT"

Pete saw the envelope. And fainted.

Clark gave a very frustrated sigh. He was through with his friend's narcoleptic episode. He knew the news was shocking, but not enough to make you faint EVERY TIME YOU HEAR IT.

Who knew Pete Ross was such a drama queen.

Clark started hitting his head on the table, before he remembered how hard his head actually was and decided against it. So instead, he super-speeded back to the barn. His friend will have to come to terms with the news eventually.

Once Clark was back in the barn, he leaped silently (as silently as he can that is) up to his `Fortress of Solitude' and began to strip.

Nobody else know this, but Clark is actually practicing to become a nudist.

He had discovered nudism when he had looked through the mail last year and found a brochure advertising a Nudist Colony. It had been sent to the wrong address but after reading it, Clark thought it was a good idea. It wasn't a perverted thing, but actually a place where everyone accepted each other as well as themselves. A place where people had literally, nothing to hide. Clark figured, it might help him with his shyness and also help him deal with his secrets.

Like, naked therapy.

And it wasn't like Clark had a sense when it comes to clothing anyway.

Clark had been practicing this by walking around naked in the barn or super-sonicing naked around the barn. But he had never actually let anyone see him naked before. He was still too shy and too quick to be caught with his pants down.

He usually calmer when he was naked and this situation needed much calming. So he was walking around butt naked when he realized that he wasn't alone.

"Clark!?!"

The boy spun around to meet with the pink clad Lana Lang. It was too late to get dressed now.

"Lana...hi" He had a dear caught in head light look on his face and his entire body turned crimson.

Lana bit her pretty pink lips and raised her eyebrow, gesturing to his, still uncovered, dangly bits.

"Oh", Clark exclaimed as he grabbed the nearest object. Which happened to be a piece of steak his mum left for him since he missed dinner.

Lana's face was also crimson as she continued to look at him. And she burst out laughing.

"I like your meat Clark." She said between chokes of laughter.

Then Clark realized what he held in his hands. His blushed became an even deeper shade of red as he looked to the floor and put the meat down and instead, grabbed the nearest pillow. The pillow was now dirty, but he could worry about that later.

"I-I...um, I was, uh, just, I was, a-about to change." Clark stuttered for the millionth time that day.

"Well, I-uh, I suppose I should be turning around then." She said with a smile on her face. Yet she didn't turn around.

Now it was Clark's turn to bite his pretty pink lips and raise his eyebrow, gesturing for her to turn around.

"Oh, " Lana exclaimed as she turned around. But she had a compact mirror in her hand and used it to look at Clark's ass.

"Ok you can turn around now," Clark said once he was clothes. "So, what are you doing here?"

"I just, needed to get out of the house you know. I'm sorry I just barged in like this, your parents said I could wait for you here."

"Oh, well you're always welcomed." He said as he gestured for the girl to sit down.

"So what's up?" Lana said as she sat down.

Clark sighed again, also for the millionth time that day. "Well, the DNA results came out today."

"So was your prediction right?"

"Well, kinda. According to the test, Miss Dunleavy isn't my mother but Lionel Luthor is my father."

Lana's eyes widen. "Wow, well that's a shock" she said, stating the obvious as she puts her arms around Clark in a `comforting' manner. Her small limps, barely going around his broad chest.

"Tell that to Pete, he fainted when I told him."

"Really? Too bad missed that...So, what are you going to do?"

"I'm meeting with Lionel Luthor at the mansion tomorrow. Other than that, I have no idea."

"Well, I guess you'll just have to take it as it comes."

"Yeah," Clark said softly as Lana curled around him on the sofa. Her hands playing with his curls.

Inwardly Lana smirked, barely able to control her snicker. Not only did she get to see him naked, but she also found out that playboy billionaire Lex Luthor, was out of `the race'. Now that Lex is related to Clark, there's no way he'd make a move on him. And if he did, he'll probably be rejected.

Which puts him even more out of the league for Clark than her.

Lana Lang had always known of Clark's crush on her, but he never know that she felt the same about him. The only reason Lana never let herself get too close to him was because she had a secret. A big secret.

Lana Lang had a dick.

She wasn't born with it or anything. But it was after the meteor shower that it happened. The meteors mutated her and now she was a bisexual...literally. That's why she never went out with Clark. The girl knew that she had a beautiful body, but when it comes down to it, who would date a girl with a dick?

So she never went after Clark and tried to keep herself on the pedestal, being the perfect princess in everyone's eyes.

Whitney was an exception. Whitney was as straight as a U-turn curve. And Whitney knew her secret.

It happened just before high school, when Whitney came to visit her and accidentally walked in on her in the bathroom. And since Whitney discovered her secret, he decided to tell her his. So he came out to her, telling her that he was gay and having a crush on, who else but Clark Kent. After that, Whitney became her secret `gay best friend'.

So, they made a deal with each other. Lana would pretend to be Whitney's girlfriend so no one will suspect that he's gay and in turn, Lana would become the most popular girl in school. Something that she had thought she wanted then. They also agreed that neither of them would make a move on Clark or their secret, is out. And that was how it had always been

That was until she realized that Clark had a secret too. A big one.

One that she hoped would make hers pale in comparison. So she decided, if she could get Clark to tell her his secret, she might be able to get him to date her, despite her own secret. So she broke the pact she made with Whitney and made a move.

Unfortunately, Whitney found out about it and wanted revenge.

That led on to the `scarecrow' incident. He knew the only thing would affect her other than spilling her secret would be to hurt Clark. And he did.

She was so mad at him when she found out. And Mr. Perfect had to go and save life too. Not only proving that he was brave but also that he was forgiving and caring too. That and he made Whitney go all swooney for days.

Eventually Lana forgave him. He was her best friend after all and Clark seemed alright after the scarecrow thing. And since they both made a move on Clark by then, they figured they were even. Not that Clark noticed Whitney was hitting on him with a sledge hammer, that was part of what he loved about him. She doubt he'll even notice if he'd hit on him with a real sledge hammer. The man was as strong and as thick as a brick wall. Kinda like Whitney actually.

The thick part. Not the strong part.

Anyway, after that they both made a deal. Whoever got Clark to tell them his secret first gets to have him. And since then both of them had been trying to get Clark to spill. Which he didn't, no matter how many times he'd save both of their lives.

Then Whitney's father died, and everything changed. And now Whitney's joined the marines.

God she missed him. Missed their little fights, missed talking to him. She even missed his gloating about how he got to see Clark in his boxers and she didn't. She was going to have to write to him. He'll be so jealous when he finds out she got to see Clark completely naked, she thought as she watched the buzzing TV screen in front of her.

Clark had turned on a movie and was currently throwing popcorn into his mouth. His body was warm next to hers and she moved just a little closer.

So since Lex is Clark's brother and Whitney is in the marines, there's only Chloe to worry about. And Clark's not even interested in her for some weird unexplained reason. I mean she has a really curvy and hot body and despite the occasional snarkyness she's still one of the nicest person she knew. Oh well, that just means more of Clark for her. And she realized, despite everything that had happened, this was still one of her best weeks ever.

She looked up at Clark again. Yeah, Whitney would definitely be jealous of her.

Next morning

Clark woke up as he smashed yet another alarm clock. Why did he even bother with them anyway? It's not like he needed to take the bus to get to school. It took him a while to clear through the haziness of the morning before he remembered what had happened yesterday.

He wondered what Lionel was going to say to him at dinner tonight.

That was when he heard the honking of a car. He looked outside and saw that it was Lex. Clothed in his usual purple shirt and black suit that probably cost more than their farm.

Clark quickly threw on some random bits of clothing and went out to meet him.

"Hey Lex, what are you doing here this early in the morning?"

"I have an early meeting today at the plant. Thought I'd drop my brother off at school first." Lex said with cheerfulness.

Clark winced at the word. He knew that Lex had once said that he was like a brother to him, but this was just a little too sudden. He still hadn't even talked to Lionel Luthor yet. Besides, it was Pete who's Lex's brother, not him.

"Um, well I haven't had my breakfast yet and-"

"Oh, well what would you like? It's still early for school. I'm sure we could find a shop somewhere."

"Actually I think my mum made me something."

"Oh great. Mind if I join? "

"Um...ok," Clark said, a little uneasily. There was something very strange about Lex this morning. At first he couldn't quite put his fingers on it, but after a few minutes he realized what it was.

Lex was happy. And not just a little happy, he was cheerful. And giddy.

The apocalypse must be very near.

They both entered the house to the smell of Martha Kent's cooking

Martha smiled as she saw them enter.

"Hello Lex, What brings you here this early in the morning?" She asked cheerfully and Lex gave her a bright, almost childish smile. At that Martha pursed her lips and looked at him questioningly.

"You're spying for your father aren't you?" Jonathan asked suspiciously. "Don't think I don't know what you Luthors are up to. You won't find anything here boy so you should just go back to your father and tell him that I'm on to him. I know what evil plot he's cooking up and I assure you, I will stop him!"

Lex' face instantly became more serious.

"I am not my father."

"Of course you're not honey," Martha cut in, sensing the rising tension in the room as she put her arms around his shoulders and gestured for the young man to join their table. Lex complied as he gave her another smile.

"He has A LOT more hair than you do." She added.

Lex smile faded into a slight frown, but he hid it by putting food into his mouth.

The overpriced sports car stopped with a screech in front of Smallville High as the swarm of students turned their way. Clark stepped out of the car and realized that he was being stared at. He checked himself in the car mirror wondering what was wrong. He looked exactly like he always did so he just shrugged. Smallville is weird, he thought to himself as he said good bye to his friend.

"See ya at dinner Lex." He said as he turned to walk away.

"Take care, Julian," came the shouted reply.

Clark paused.

"What did you just call me?"

"I said `take care, Clark'. Why?"

"Oh, um...nothing, I guess, I just thought you said something else."

"Alright. Bye Julian," Lex said as the car sped off at suicidal speed.

Clark blinked twice. He stared at the dust track following the car. Then he shrugged it off and headed inside the building of the school. All eyes were still following him.

"Hey Clark," a random jock greeted him as he entered. The boy looked back at him strangely.

"Do I know you?"

"What, you don't remember me? I'm Sean. Remember, we played football together last year."

"Oh, well-"

"Hey Clark, how's it going my man?" said another random person Clark didn't remember as he tried to get him to do a complicated handshake.

"Who are you?"

Before the rapper wannabe could reply another guy cut in.

"Hey Clark, remember me I'm in your English class." The geeky guy said.

"HEY CLARK!" a familiar voice rose from the crowd.

"Pete!" Clark shouted back in relief as he fought his way from the, suddenly very friendly people, to his best friend.

"What's happening there Clark? It looked like you were being smothered."

"No idea, but I think we should go find shelter before-"

The bell rang. It was the most horrible sound ever created on the planet. Yet Clark was grateful to be saved by it as he headed to homeroom.

His partial sanctuary was shattered as the bell rang once again, announcing that it was time for lunch. Though Clark was bored to death by his classes, he was still more disturbed by the looks people were giving him. The looks varied from fascination, over-friendliness, jealousy, open flirtation to open hatred, depending on the person. And all of them disturbed him. He wasn't used to being constantly gawked at; he was usually the one who gawked (mostly at Lana or Lex).

Why couldn't he just run home, strip and then curl up in his bed? He thought this with a pout on his face as he headed towards the cafeteria with Pete, who still didn't know about the DNA results.

The eyes were still on him as he ate his meal. Clark was so zoned out, he didn't notice the person standing behind him.

"Hi Clark," a seductive voice sounded behind him. Clark felt long manicured fingers sliding down his back.

"H-hi," Clark stuttered as he turned to stared at the scantily clad blond girl.

"I'm Clarice," she said huskily as she moved even closer to him. "I've always thought you were hot Clark. Wanna go out with me?"

"Shove off bitch," an equally slutty looking brunette interrupted as she literally shoved the blond away. "Luthor's mine," she added.

"Nuh uh! I was here first!" the blond retorted as they both got into fighting stances.

Everyone around them, now shifted their attention to the girls and Clark heard someone yelling "CAT FIGHT!!!" in the distance.

As the girls began their fighting in oddly, Matrix-esque fashion, Clark spotted Lana in the crowd and found his escape.

"HEY LANA!" he yelled, catching the girl's attention as he went over to her. He decided that he would just skip lunch and just find a place to stay, away from all the people. Maybe the library or something, he thought as he maneuvered Lana out of the cafeteria.

"Hey Clark," she said once they were in a place where they could hear each other without having to scream. "I heard someone yelling cat fight. Any idea what its about?"

"Not a clue," Clark replied with a look of pure innocence.

"Have you read the Torch yet Clark?" Lana asked, but judging from the look on Clark's face, she could tell he hadn't.

She handed him a copy and Clark stared at it in wonder.

`LUTHOR SEED SOWN ON KENT FARM'

_DNA test reveals Clark Kent's Luthor lineage_

The results of a recent DNA test shows Clark Kent, a Junior classman at Smallville High, to be a son of Metropolis multi-millionaire, Lionel Luthor.

Clark Kent was adopted by Martha and Jonathan Kent of Smallville at a Metropolis adoption centre owned by Mr. Luthor. He is also the only child ever adopted there.

It is highly likely that Clark Kent will become sole heir to all of Luthor corp.'s assets in Smallville. There is also a possibility that he will replace Lex Luthor as heir to the entire Luthor fortune."

Clark reread it again. His expression was vacant.

"Clark are you alright?" Lana asked as she looked at him.

Than Clark's face shifted to anger.

"Chloe," he growled.

Chloe was in so much trouble with Clark, Lana thought. Clark could've gone on for days not knowing what was written about him, but now he was totally pissed with Chloe, moving her up in `the race'. She congratulated herself on her evil genius-ness and inwardly gave a maniacal laughter.

The few people in the sparse hallway turned to look at her. Then the girl realized she'd just maniacally laughed out loud.

Lana gave them her best fairy tale princess smile and they all went back to their previous businesses.

The Torch office was filled with the smell of espresso which assaulted Clark as he slammed the door opened. Upon entering, he was met with the sight of a completely different office. Though the computers and the filing cabinets were still there, all the walls were painted with abstract looking murals. Lying the desks were clay sculptures, and random pieces of paper with paint on it which also littered the floor along with various other things which Clark guessed, might have been other forms of artwork, if the paintings and sculptures in the room were any indication.

And standing on the ladder in the corner of the room was a girl holding a palette and a paintbrush. The girl was wearing a tight black turtleneck and black pants with matching black, though painted stained, apron. Her long brown hair flowed from under a black barrette as she busied herself with her art.

Clark looked back outside the hallway. He was certainly in the right room.

"Um...excuse me, but do you know where Chloe is?" he asked uncertainly.

The girl turned around and looked at Clark through coffee colored shades.

"I'm right here Clark. What is it?"

Clark blinked.

"Chloe?" he looked more closely at the girl. Yep, it was Chloe alright.

"Yeah, it's me. And you're standing there gaping like a fish; I assume you're not here to hand in your story."

At that Clark closed his open mouth.

"So, you're not still mad at me about the whole, digging into your past thing are you?"

"Um."

"I hope you're not. Cause I made you this."

She handed him one of the abstract paintings lying on the desk. Clark gave her his `what-the-fuck?!' look.

"This is an expression of how I feel about our situation."

Clark stared confusingly at the seemingly random swirls of yellow and equally random looking dabs of black and blue.

"So you think we're messed up?" He asked uncertainly.

"Well, not so much as messed up as misunderstanding and confusion. But there is also an underlying concern."

"O.K." Clark nodded as he looked at the painting, not understanding a single thing she was saying.

Chloe smiled. "I've recently learn to express my feelings through painting. It's very therapeutic. You should try sometime."

Clark imagined himself dressed in all black with a barrette and Chloe's shades. He shuddered. "No thanks"

"Are you sure? I have some paint right here. Oh, I almost forgot. Along with the painting I also did a little performance piece to tell you how I feel about you. Here, I'll show you."

"Um, actually Chloe I have to go do this thing with Pete, right now. Maybe later," he said before Chloe could start as he left the Torch office.

In the hallway, five minutes later he remembered why he was in the Torch office. Clark was mad at Chloe again and so he stormed back to see Chloe.

When Clark reached the Torch office again, he was shocked to find that everything in the room was completely different from the last ten or so minutes ago.

Again, the cabinets and computers were there but everything else has changed. Gone were the dabs and swirls of paint on the wall, replaced by posters of the Sex pistols, deformed pictures of the Queen of England and Anarchy symbols. Loud punk music was blaring in the room at a volume that made even Clark's ears hurt

"CHLOE!" he shouted over it hoping to be heard.

The girl turned around, she didn't look one bit like the artist he had seen earlier, but she was still recognizable as Chloe Sullivan.

The long brown hair was now back to its old length and style, but was currently colored cookiemonster blue. Her face was now adorned with small bits of shiny metal in places like her eyebrow, her lips, and her nose and instead of all black she was now wearing a short plaid skirt that was burnt at the edges, a very torn T-shirt with an Anarchy symbol on it and hobnailed boots with really tiny heels.

"'Hullo luv, back so soon?" She shouted through the noise in a fake cockney accent.

Clark blinked and quirked his eyebrow.

"Um..."

"So whatcha doin' here? This isn't about that bloody news article is it?"

Clark blinked again. He could barely hear her let alone make sense of what she was saying.

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"I SAID, THIS ISN'T ABOUT THAT BLOODY ARTICLE IS IT?"

"WHAT?"

"Oh, never mind. Hey, while you're here could you help me put this up?" she gestured to a `The Exploited' banner she was putting up. Then she lost her balance on her needle like heels.

"Bugger!" she swore as she got back up.

At this point, Clark realized that something was deeply wrong with Chloe and retreated out of the room.

"You're shittin' me man!" Pete said as he and Clark walked out of Smallville High.

"No Pete, I'm serious."

"Yeah, right, Chloe, our Chloe as a blue haired British punk? That's gotta be the most ridiculous thing I ever hear-"

Pete was stopped by the sound of bagpipes that were playing across the road. The instrument was held by pale hands attached to the body of none other than Chloe Sullivan. She was now wearing a traditional Scottish outfit.

"You were saying, Pete?" Clark asked sarcastically.

Pete swallowed.

"If what you said earlier is true Clark, then I suggest we leave, soon. I don't wanna have to translate Scottish to American, I have enough trouble understanding that chick as it is. Come on, let's get outta here."

As soon as Pete had said that, the blue Porsche Carrera swerved in, breaking the sound barrier as it stopped in front of them.

"Wanna ride?" Lex poked his bald head out of the car as he asked.

Clark looked at Pete questioningly. Pete looked at Lex suspiciously.

The sound of the out of tune bagpipes grew increasingly louder, cutting the awkward silence short.

Pete looked back at Chloe one more time, then looked at Lex. He couldn't think of anything Lex Luthor could do that would be scarier than this, so he got in.

Clark sat up front with Lex and suddenly felt the warmth of slim fingers on his inner thigh. He gulped as his face turned red but was too afraid to say anything.

And then, the Porsche shot off like a rocket.

After a few minutes, the fingers on Clark's thigh started moving. The boy stiffened, afraid to even breathe. It did not help that the one touching him was not only his supposed `brother', but was also the one driving at break neck speed.

"So, Julian. How's school today?" Lex asked, breaking the silence.

Clark was so focused on the hand, he didn't even notice what Lex had called him.

"It's um...It's fine." He said without thinking as he stared helplessly at the hand moving up his thigh. He squirmed uncomfortably.

"Nothing special happen?" Lex asked again.

"Well, now that you mention it, a lot of people have been acting weird around me lately." Clark was staring at Lex as he said this.

"Let me guess, they were all staring at you? Whispering things behind your back, or trying to be friendly with you? Girls who used to ignore you started asking you out; people who don't even know you started looking at you hatefully?"

"Yeah, but not just tha-"

"It's the curse of being a Luthor, Clark. You'll get used to it one day." Lex said bitterly as the car accelerated to the point where Clark was convinced it would outrun his super speed.

"Wait, what the hell's he talkin' about, Clark?" Pete asked suspiciously from the back seat.

"You haven't told him yet?" Lex asked with a smirk.

"Told me what man?!"

"Um...Well, you see Pete. Um, you know that DNA test thing I did a few days ago?"

Pete gave him a confused look, "What about it?"

"Well, I got the results...It said that I'm Lionel Luthor's son."

It took a while for Pete to process this information again. And when he did, he fell over.

This time Clark just rolled his eyes.

Lex turned to look at him. "Is he gonna be alright?"

"Yeah, he'll be fine. He won't remember what I told him when he wakes up though."

"How'd you know?"

"Cause he never does. I've told him about it four times already."

Lex snorted and Clark realized that Lex had not been watching the road and there was a bridge coming up. Clark had a sudden flash back of his first encounter with Lex.

"Lex, the road! Watch the road!" He shouted.

Lex rolled his eyes at him, but complied.

"Don't worry Julian. From now on, your big brother's gonna take care you." Lex said softly as he smiled at Clark.

This time Clark was too busy rearranging Pete's unconscious body to notice what was said.

Lex dropped Clark off at the barn after they dragged Pete's unconscious body back to the Ross' Residence. Lex left him with a "See you at dinner Julian," as he drove off.

Clark returned to his room to find that there was a Lex-like outfit lying on his bed, in his size.

He sighed heavily before showering and putting on the outfit. It was a little too tight. After that, he went down stairs to find a paranoid father.

"I'm telling you Martha, this is one of Lionel's evil plots. Once we step into that mansion, he'll trap us all and start experimenting with Clark. Then he'll somehow figure out a way to transfer Clark's powers onto himself and use it to take over the world. Or worse, he'll brainwash Clark and use him to help him take over the world. It's a conspiracy Martha, a conspiracy!"

Clark rolled his eyes, his father gave out this speech before or after his every encounter with Lionel Luthor. To his father, even Lionel's blindness was part of an elaborate scheme of taking over the world.

"I think you're being just a little too paranoid honey. Calm down," Martha Kent understated.

At the mansion.

Jonathan walked conspicuously through the hallway of the castle as Clark and Martha followed him nervously. Once in a while the blond man would stop at corners, hiding behind near by objects, then whispering `clear' to his family before he let them continue.

Clark tried to tell Jonathan that the dining room was the other way, but the man wouldn't listen. Instead, he used the opportunity to snoop around as he ran his hand over random walls and objects, looking for an entrance to a secret lab.

Eventually they ran into Enrique the butler who escorted them all to the dining room.

Lionel was seated at the head of the long table, black shades hiding blind eyes as his hands groped for his glass of wine. He smiled as he heard the Kents enter.

"And so our paths cross again, this time, it seems, permanently."

Jonathan snorted as he approached the lion cautiously, inspecting the offered seat thoroughly for trap doors before sitting down.

Martha just smiled sweetly. "Hello Lionel," she said as she took a seat between Lionel and her husband.

"Clark, son." Lionel gestured to the seat on his other side. Clark gulped but complied, taking a seat next to Lionel.

Then Lex seemed to suddenly appear out of nowhere and hugged Clark tightly from behind him. He looked as if he'd slept with a hanger in his mouth. It was a few minutes before he let go and Clark was sure that if he was human, he would've suffocated to death already.

When he let go, he opened his arms and widened his smile (if that was even humanly possible). "Welcome brother," he said in a benevolent fashion.

Clark just blinked.

Lex ruffled his hair before taking a seat next to him. Again, he put his hands on Clark's thigh.

And again, the boy blushed.

"So, it seems that the cub has finally returned to its den," Lionel said as he looked at the space behind Clark. His hands went out to pat Clark's thigh but ended up a little too close to his crotch.

Clark squirmed and blushed six shades deeper under the heat of the Luthor's hands high up on his thighs. Neither father nor son seemed to be willing to let go any time soon. Clark gave them both a nervous smile (which was unseen by Lionel).

"So Luthor, what do you want us here for? Another `favor' from your new found son? Cause if so, I'm telling you now, `MY SON' WILL NOT BE INVOLVED IN ANY OF YOUR EVIL PLOTS IN ANY WAY!"

"Calm down Jon," Martha said to her husband once again, but she wasn't even looking at him. Instead her eyes were focused on her boss as she inched just a little closer to him. Jonathan didn't seem to notice, for his eyes were also on Lionel.

"I don't know what you're talking about Jonathan. I merely wanted to spend some quality time with my newly discovered son." Lionel said as he squeezed Clark's inner thigh, a mere half millimeter away from his crotch.

Lex gave Jonathan the evil eye at the `Luthor' comment.

Clark squirmed even more. Which not only caused Lex's hand to move even further up, but also to start gripping him harshly. Clark bit his lips and shifted again. This time the two hands on his thigh met each other.

Lex turned to glare at his father instead.

Lionel, being blind, tried to figure out whose hand it was by touch. He ran his hand slowly up Lex's arm under the table over Clark's lap in a very awkward position.

Lex pulled his arm away violently, though it went unnoticed by Jonathan who was now looking under the carpet and Martha who was trying to stop him.

"I'll stop when that bastard tells me where he hid that thing."

The appetizer arrived, finally. It was escargot, and as disgusted as Clark was at the idea of eating snails, he was glad for the distraction.

Jonathan refused to touch it, convinced that there was some kind of drug in it.

The rest of the meal went on in awkward silence, except for Jonathan's shuffling as he went off in search for something every five minutes.

By the end of the meal though, everyone was sitting strangely close together. Lex's hand went back on Clark's leg again sometime through dinner as did his father's hand. Both the Luthors had Clark in a tight sandwich between them, while at the same time, tried to completely ignore each other. Martha was also edged close to Lionel, her huge breast pressing against the table as Jonathan sat holding her hand to stop himself from strangling the other man.

Clark licked the last drop of his ice cream off the silver spoon and Lex purred.

"Well, now that we have had our dinner, let's get down to business." Lionel said as he signaled for the servants to bring in the papers.

At that point Martha put a hand over Jonathan's mouth and the other held both his hands. "Please continue," she said as if she wasn't holding her husband down to keep him from attacking.

"What I have here are the adoption papers and other legal documents-"

At that point, Jonathan broke free and sprung at Lionel. He stared into the other man's unseeing eyes, their noses almost touching.

"What do you want Lionel?" he spattered out.

"I want joint custody of Clark and I want him to change his last name to Luthor."

Jonathan growled loudly.

"Would you rather we do this in court?" Lionel asked with a wicked grin and Jonathan growled louder.

Martha dragged him back to his seat as Lionel gave him the papers for him to sign.

Jonathan read it over five times before Lionel grew impatient.

"Mr. Kent, you have five seconds to sign those documents or I'm taking this to court."

Jonathan grumbled but signed anyway before giving the papers to his wife. She handed them back to Lionel once they were. Then Lionel turned his attention to Clark.

"Welcome home son."

Lionel put his arms around Clark. Lex saw this and followed suit. He draped his hands around Clark's other side and smiled brightly at him.

"Welcome back Julian."

Clark's body dropped from back onto the bed at the sound of someone knocking on his door. (He'd been floating again that night). Then he tried to roll off the bed. When he wasn't off the bed by his second roll, he opened his eyes.

This isn't my bedroom, he thought as he looked around.

Then it all came back to him in a flash. He was in one of the gigantic bedrooms in the Luthor Mansion which he'd be staying until Lex got a chance to take him shopping for furniture for his own room.

He also remembered his new name.

Clark Julian Heracles Percival Mickey Rainbow Macdonwald Kent Luthor

Julian, because Lionel noticed what Lex kept calling him and didn't want people to think Lex had completely lost it by calling his new brother by his dead brother's name (even though they probably would once they saw his smile), Kent because Clark insisted on it for the sake of his paranoid father's sanity, Heracles and Percival as a compromise for the Kent and Macdonwald because apparently the Luthors had Scottish ancestors. He had no idea where Mickey and Rainbow came from though...

Well, at least he got to keep his first name, though he'd probably kill anyone who called him by his full name, or any of his middle names that wasn't Kent. Lex was an exception of course.

The knocking stopped when Clark opened the door to see a scary looking servant.

"Good morning sir. Breakfast is in half an hour sir, and master Lex had sent you these." He said as he handed Clark a pile of clothes and left.

Clark quickly changed from his dark blue, Chinese silk pyjamas (which Lex gave him last night) to the black jeans and shirt that were given to him. He stared at himself in the full length mirror and felt very odd. There were only three other occasions on which he'd worn this much black. The first was a funeral (in which he'd had to) the second was to parties in which he'd worn tuxedoes (and no one would let him wear red), and the third was when he was high on red meteor rocks.

He felt weird not being in primary colors...

He wondered if he wouldn't be able to wear them any more now that he was officially a Luthor.

The breakfast went on in an awkwardly silent fashion. Neither Lex nor his father had ever sat down together for anything without one of them being driven out of the room but they were both here because of Clark and knew that driving one of them out wouldn't bode well with the new member of the family.

"So...Um...Mr. Luthor" Clark started, trying to lessen the tension, but not quite knowing what to say.

"Clark, what have I told you before? You're my son now and as my son I expect you to act like one. Call me daddy, Clark."

"Um..."Clark stuttered, "Ok. So...'Daddy'" He kept himself from gagging "Um...What are you doing today?" He asked the first question he could think of.

"If I tell you that Clark I might have to kill you"

Clark looked horrified despite his invulnerability.

"Just kidding son"

"Oh...I, err yeah, err I knew that"

Lex looked at his father suspiciously, unconvinced by his statement.

"Don't worry Julian," Lex said as he walked up to hug Clark from behind. "I won't let anyone hurt you. Not even you, dad." He glared pointedly at his father.

"Well, this breakfast is great, but I think I should be going to school now."

Lex glared even more viciously at his father, blaming him for his `Julian' leaving.

"This is all your fault, dad" he said once Clark was out of the room.

"Careful son, you're getting emotional again."

"Hmmph!" Lex uttered as he walked out of the dining room.

"You know Lex, you don't have to drop me off at school every morning." Clark said as they sat together in Lex's Lamborghini.

"Well I wanted to." Lex said, he'd been cheerful and smiling non-stop for the past two days.

"But don't you have to go to meetings and stuff?"

At that Lex looked deeply into his Clark's eyes.

"There's nothing in this world that's more important to me than you."

And at that moment, everything was perfect. Everything was beautiful, and it didn't matter that Clark wasn't really a Luthor or that Lex kept calling him by his dead brother's name or that Chloe keeps changing personalities or that Pete didn't know anything. None of those things mattered, not in this moment.

Suddenly a horrendous crash jolted them both of their `perfect moment' and into the window. Luckily, Clark was wearing a seatbelt and was quick enough to stop Lex from flying through it.

"Lex, you alright?"

"Yeah," Then they both turned to look at what they hit.

"Oh no! We've hit Bessie!" Clark exclaimed as he jumped out of the car to examine the tipped over cow.

"Jonathan's gonna kill me!" and with that, Lex got out his cell phone.

"Hello, get me my body guard and my lawyer... I want them here as fast as possible...Well I don't know, send them the helicopter...I don't care just get them here now...You know perfectly well what I paid you to do and that's not it....Look, I have no time for this, we'll talk about it later ok? I'll call you."

Then he dialed again. "Hello, yes, we have an injured bovine here on route 58 by the name of Bessie. It doesn't seem fatal but it's possible that she could suffer infections from her wounds...Yes, there are many reckless drivers out there...Yes thank you."

Then he turned to Clark, "There'll be someone here to pick up Bessie soon, and I've already contact my lawyer and my bodyguard just in case Jonathan comes up to me with a shot gun. Don't worry Julian. Everything will be fine. Now let's get you to school."

And with that Lex patted Clark on the shoulder and got him back into the car.

The Lamborghini was splattered with green mush the moment it parked in front of the school. At least a few hundred people huddled around the car trying to cover it with rotten fruits and vegetables and poking it with their pitchforks. Among them were signs such as `We don't want Luthors here'.

Lex got on his cell phone.

"Where are those bodyguards I sent for?...Well get them here quicker!"

The principle fought his way through the crowd, handing out detentions as he went.

Then suddenly, a strange and loud whistling sound could be heard through the speaker and the crowd of people disappeared as quickly as they'd appeared.

Lex slowly got out of the car to inspect the damage. After looking at it he just shrugged. "The sound system's not that good on this car anyway. I'll just buy a new one."

Clark slowly got out of the car, looking around he saw that everyone was going on about their business, as if they hadn't just been throwing things and poking Lex's expensive car.

He looked back at Lex who was now yelling at his personal assistant over the phone.

"Um, Lex, I should be going now."

Lex smiled at him. "Bye Julian" he said before going back to his cell phone once more.

The sounds of arguments rang through the catacombs like chaos on a metal rod as the six councilors in black hooded robes made their way onto the raised platforms. The president was already on the podium in his billowy golden hooded robe as he gave a rhythmic whistle.

At that, the crowd went silent.

"Greetings comrades" the president addressed into the microphone. "Welcome to the 784th meeting of the Anti-Luthor Society."

"Greetings oh Great Omnipotent President!" everyone replied simultaneously.

"I'm sure we all know why I called this meeting and that you've all heard of the recent development in the Luthor clan. Now I know that many of you young people do not appreciate that there's now a Luthor infiltrating our school but as of this moment there's nothing we can do about it. I'm very disappointed that you've acted so irrationally as to attack them. May I remind you that this is a `secret' society and a secret it must remain."

At that, the crowd of white robed figures went into chaos again as everyone started speaking.

"SILENCE!!!" The President shouted.

"But, Mr. President we couldn't just ignore him. He's a Luthor, if we let him be, he'll destroy our system and community from the inside and then we'll be too late to stop them!" an anonymous teenage boy called from the middle of the crowd.

Sounds of agreement could be heard throughout the mob.

"Yes, it is true, the boy speaks wisdom" a man said from the back.

"YES, LUTHORS ARE EVIL!"

"LUTHORS ARE EVIL!"

"LUTHORS ARE EVIL!"

"LUTHORS ARE EVIL!"

The crowd continue to chant until the door burst open.

"Sorry I'm late, damn Lex Luthor hit my Bessie with his car. Doctor said it's just a scratch but she might have caught the Luthor disease so I had to have him check her again." Jonathan Kent said as he put on his black hood and joined the rest of the councilors. "What'd I miss?"

All eyes turned to the blond man (though none could really see him because the hoods covered their faces).

"Ah, welcome Brother Jonathan. Please, take a seat." The President said as he turned to the crowd. "Everyone, please take a moment to offer our brother Jonathan, condolences for the loss of his son"

Everyone went silent for ten seconds.

"Brother Jonathan, we all feel your loss. For Clark Kent is an upstanding member of this community, who has already saved many of us from the hands of Luthor. In befriending the spawn of Satan, he has uncovered many Luthorian secrets such as that of the mysterious Level three. We all know the risk of allowing an innocent such as him to be in the close proximity of a Luthor. Now we all pay the price, for the innocent has fallen so deeply into the other side, that he even carries its name!"

The crowd went into an uproar at that, but was silenced when the President made a `cut' gesture with his hands.

"Never again my friends. Never must we let another as innocent and pure as Clark Kent enter the devil's lair."

The crowd nodded simultaneously.

"But, Mr. President, what are we going to do about the business of there being another Luthor?" a person near the podium said.

"We will deal with that as we have dealt with the other Luthors."

"But we barely stand a chance against two Luthors, how are we going to handle three?"

"MY SON IS NOT A LUTHOR!" Jonathan shouted from his seat.

"But he bears their name"

"He also bears mine." Jonathan replied. "Now my boy was raised to be a Kent. He may now be Clark Kent Luthor, but there will always be a Kent in him."

"Then there's hope for the boy yet!" the President said enthusiastically. "We will all pray for him and give him some time to rid himself of the evil. Now, let us consult `The Prophet'."

The crowd cheered as the councilors stood up, making way for the tall woman in the society's traditional robe and face covering hood except in the color of blood red instead of white. Her lips were painted to match as she floated onto the podium with her crystal ball. She put her hands over it as she began to speak.

"The third is untrue in its bonding with the clan though he doth not deny them for sake of the true kin. As sibling and son he is their most beloved, he will bring the broken pieces together, joining them. This can mean both, destruction or the betterment of our kind."

Then she let go of the crystal.

"The Prophet has spoken!" The President said as the crowd, again, went into an uproar as the woman floated away.

"So what exactly did she tell us?" Jonathan asked quietly.

"Um, basically, that things will either get better or worse... I think." the President replied.

"So basically she told us nothing."

"Yeah, basically."

Lionel was seated in his study, reading the stock reports with his hands as he heard the door slam.

"Is that cheap perfume and morphine I smell? I thought the doctors cured you Rachel. Or is that just your personal scent?"

The clicking of heels became louder as Rachel walked up to the blind man, till she was so close that she breathed on him. Lionel tried not to gag.

"I just got the DNA results. You did something to them."

"Whatever on Earth made you think that?" Lionel replied casually, as if they were talking about the weather.

"Don't play that game with me Lionel. I know what you're up to. I thought we had an agreement."

"We did."

"THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE WITH HIM?!!"

Lionel stood up, wiping the imaginary lint (or was that Rachel's breath?) off his suit before reaching for his walking stick.

"Please lower your voice Rachel, I cannot afford to be deaf too," he said as he tried to get away from her overwhelming scent.

"The deal was that I'd get help and stay away from my boy if you gave me the money and stayed away from him too. Or did you forget Lionel?" Rachel was quick to follow Lionel as he walked, cutting off his oxygen again.

"No Rachel, I did not forget."

"THEN WHY ARE YOU WITH HIM?!"

"I'm not Rachel, as the doctors have distinctly proven that he is not your son. Only mine."

"Liar! You switched that DNA sample, I know you did. You want the boy all to yourself don't you? Wanna do to him what you do to your precious Lex. I know exactly what you and that slutty son of yours do; you didn't even wait till after your wife was in her grave you SON OF A BITCH!"

Lionel snorted as his hand found her face.

"As opposed to what you and I did before my wife was in her grave, Rachel?"

"That's different. It wasn't homosexual or incestuous."

"And I suppose adultery is so much better." Lionel said as he gently kissed her ears and trailed feather light kisses down her cheeks. He smirked as he felt her purr.

"I'm going to expose you Lionel," she said breathlessly.

"Oh Rachel, if you had any evidence, it'd be in the papers by now." He said slowly before sucking on her neck.

Rachel moaned. "I'm gonna get you for this Lionel."

"Of course you will," Lionel said before he muffled her words with his mouth.

Clark's day had been an over emphasized version of yesterday. So far he'd been ambushed, glared at, sworn at, poked at (with a pitch fork no less), drooled over, fought over as well as had things thrown at him (from flowers and footballs to rotten eggs and stink bombs) and been used as a rope in a tug of war game.

Being a Luthor sucked.

Not to mention he had to lie to Pete again. He just didn't want the guy fainting any more; he had enough to deal with as it is.

The clothing didn't help; they'd completely cemented the idea of him being a Luthor in everyone's head. It seemed as though everyone had forgotten that he was still the corn fed farm boy he was two days ago. The boy sighed, he wished he could talk to Chloe but she was too busy practicing her speech for when she was voted, Miss America. He'd never understand that girl.

It was currently lunchtime and he was looking for Lana.

Though she was still the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen and he still occasionally got tongue-tied around her, she was seemingly the only close friend he had left that wasn't going through an all consuming identity crisis (he finally figured out what was wrong with Chloe after some research) or had selective amnesia, and right now, he really needed to talk to someone who was at least a little bit normal.

He finally found her in the school parking lot, but she was currently too busy to notice him.

Lana gave a loud `HIYA!" as she jump kicked a red headed girl who ducked her just in time and squealed as she was strangled from behind by a blond. It was the blond who'd ask Clark out the other day.

Clark stared in amazement as Lana lifted the girl over her head and threw her onto the floor before a brunette joined in. He looked on as Lana took on all three girls with strength Clark never knew she had.

It made Clark wonder about all the times he'd had to go and save her.

Lana noticed that Clark was there and pretended to be hurt.

Clark noticed her falling to the ground and ran up to her before the other girls could start attacking her again.

"CLARK!" The girl's all squealed as they rushed up to him, pressing their breasts against his chest. Clark pushed them all away and went to Lana.

"Are you alright?"

"I think I may have sprained something, Clark could you help get me to the nurse?"

"Yeah, sure" he said as he hauled her up on her feet.

"Clark, that bitch broke my nose!" a girl shouted as she noticed what Lana was doing.

"Clark, I think I broke my ankle," another girl followed.

"Clark, help me I can't walk."

Clark x-rayed all of them, seeing as they were all ok, he ignored them.

The three girls gave death glares to Lana as she walked away with what each one of them considered `Her man'.

"What was that all about?" Clark asked Lana once they were far from the other girls.

Lana gave him a genuine smile. "You really don't know anything do you?" She whispered adoringly to herself.

"What?" Clark asked, "What do you mean I don't know anything?"

Lana looked at him sheepishly, she hadn't expected him to hear that. Oh well.

"Clark, those girls were fighting me over you."

"WHAT?"

"Since you became a Luthor, every girl in school wants to be with you Clark."

Clark took a long moment to process this. His face going completely blank.

"They started fighting with me when I told them I won't stay away from you."

That caught Clark's attention and he turned to look at the girl in his arms. Lana looked deeply into Clark's sparkling green eyes as she preyed to every god she could think of for him to kiss her.

"Why?" were the words that left his mouth his mouth as his lips parted deliciously and Lana had to remind herself not to drool.

"Because..." Lana scrambled through her brain before coming up with an answer. "Because you know me better than anyone Clark."

That was complete bulshit and she knew it. She didn't even answer the question but Lana couldn't think of anything else to say at the moment that wouldn't, drive Clark away or bring him too close. She still had her secret after all.

Clark was blushing. The question? Completely forgotten and Lana silently congratulated herself on her quick thinking.

"What?" Clark asked again

OK, so maybe it wasn't as silent as she thought it was. "Damn, I need to learn to start talking to myself mentally and not verbally."

"It's ok Lana, I talk to myself sometimes too. Well, not when other people are around but, you know, still..."

"Uh! I'm doing it again!" she berated herself before walking off. The nurse completely forgotten, as she wasn't really injured anyway.

So she walked off, talking to herself as Clark looked on in confusion.

Lex's car screeched to a stop as the red headed figure stood in the center of the road.

"Miss Dunleavy?" Lex asked as he got out of the car.

She was smiling at him in that strange way she always smiled at Lex. Then suddenly, she looked up at the sky in surprise.

"Oh look!" she said, pointing up. "It's a bird! It's a plane!" she gasped "It's CLARK'S UNDERWEAR!"

At that Lex automatically looked up. "It's a frilly thong isn't it?! I knew he'd been stealing them from my closet!"

The moment Lex looked away, Rachel took a syringe out of her pocket and plunged it into the side of his neck.

Lex winced before falling to the ground, completely unconscious.

Lex woke up with the worst hangover he ever remembered having. He hadn't had one in years so he figured something must be wrong. He tried to shift his body and realized that he couldn't.

And when he opened his eyes, he realized why.

Lex was duct taped to a chair in the middle of a very pink living room. He gave the place a quick once over and tried his hardest to remember who he was having sex with last night that got him into this situation.

He couldn't think of anyone.

Then he realized that Rachel Dunleavy was staring at him.

"OH NO! We didn't do anything did we??!!"

At that, Rachel looked at him incredulously. Then she rolled her eyes.

"You are so much like your father." She said to him. Lex cringed and started to struggle.

"No! No I'm not! How dare you say that I have sex like my father??!! Take that back! Take that back right now!"

"I was talking about your reaction. Your father said the same thing to me after we had sex. And no, you little pervert, WE didn't do anything."

"Oh thank god." Lex began to relax. "We weren't planning on doing anything, were we?" he asked, worried again.

Again Rachel rolled her eyes. "Of course not! Get your mind out of the gutter. Damn you Luthors. I kidnap you and hold you at gunpoint and all you can think about is sex."

"You're holding me at gunpoint?" Lex asked as he looked around for the non-existent gun.

"I am now" Rachel said as she pulled a gun out of thin air and pointed it at Lex's bald head.

"Oh, I see," he said before going silent. For about five minutes.

"So..." he started, not a hint of fear in his voice. "Where is this place?" he asked conversationally.

"It's my house. I just bought it. Do you think my Lucas would like it?"

"Um...So what am I doing here exactly?" he quickly changed the subject.

"You are here as a bargain."

Lex went silent for a bit.

"Get your mine out of the gutter Lex!"

"Oh, ok so please explain?"

"You're father, is either going to admit that he switched the DNA and tell the whole world that Clark really is my Lucas and give me custody of the boy, or" she paused for dramatic effect, " he's going to lose his favorite lover."

Lex looked confused.

"I'm going to kill you Lex." Rachel repeated exasperatedly.

"Right."

Then Lex realized that he was definitely going to die. He struggled with the bonds again before he heard the click of the safety lock.

"This is the world's worst hangover ever."

Lionel hung up the phone with a serious expression on his face as he turned towards his assistant.

"What's wrong?" Martha Kent asked, looking up from her game of computer solitaire

"Rachel Dunleavy. She kidnapped Lex."

"Oh my god, what does she want?"

"If I don't call a press conference announcing that Clark's her son and give her full custody of him, she's going to kill Lex."

"I'll call Clark."

"I'm on it mum, just tell Mr. Luthor to make one of his long speeches on Greek mythology. It'll buy us some time." Clark said as he hung up his new cell phone and raced to Chloe's office, praying that her current personality wasn't too strange.

The office smelled like weed as Clark burst through the door.

"Chloe?" he asked as he looked to the girl currently dressed in bell bottom pants, a tie dyed t-shirt and a leather vest. Her hair was really long and she had a head band around her head as well as a peace pendant around her neck. She was also sitting in a circle with a group of similarly dressed people.

"Peace man" she said, holding up two fingers as she saw Clark. Then she passed the bong onto the guy sitting next to her. "Come join us Clark. We're just about to have an orgy."

Clark blushed. "No thanks, uh..." he said as Chloe leaned over to kiss the guy (or was that a girl?) next to her. Clark tried to focus, as hard as that was in the face of his ever changing friend.

"Uh, Chloe I really need your help right now. Rachel Dunleavy's kidnapped Lex and is going to kill him if I don't find him soon."

Chloe was still kissing the guy.

"CHLOE!"

"Alright, alright, I'm coming man." She got up and turned to the rest of the group, "Make love not war dude." She said before going over to her computer.

"Hey dude, you sure you don't want any?" the guy in the circle asked Clark.

"Um, no thanks" he replied as the group started singing kumbaya

"Rachel said she bought a house in Smallville, I need to know where that is." He said once Chloe started searching.

"Ok man, I'll like, check with the county clerk man," she said as she pushes at the keyboard. "It'll take a while." She said before going back to her circle and taking the bong from one of them.

Clark sighed.

The computer beeped and since Chloe was currently too occupied, he looked at it himself.

"There's no record of Rachel Dunleavy here C'lo"

Chloe ignored him as the group began making out with each other.

"Alright, I'll just try the name Lucas Luthor. You don't mind if I borrow your computer do you Chloe?"

All he heard was the sound of people smooching. Clark turned back to the screen.

"Lucas Luthor, 1436 Blueberry Park Lane, Smallville, Kansas 67254."

Clark looked back at Chloe. She was too occupied to notice so he super speeded out of the room.

Chloe heard the whooshing sound and caught sight of the black blur where Clark used to be.

"Dude, this is some good shit" she said, gesturing to the bong.

"UUHHHHHHHHHHH!" Rachel screamed at the TV as Lionel started talking about Zeus.

"Will you just shut up!?!" she screamed at the TV again. "Your son's about to die and all you can do is talk about Greek myths??! What is wrong with you Luthors?!!"

When Rachel was preoccupied with screaming at Lex's father, Lex yanked his feet, twisting and turning until he got them free and stood up. His hands were still bound to the chair as he tip toed to the door.

When the door knob creaked Rachel turned around and glared at Lex.

She quickly grabbed the gun and aimed it at Lex's head and fired. Lex ducked, causing him to trip and hit his head as the chair breaks and he falls unconscious to the floor.

Rachel walked up to the bald man and aimed again.

On the moment she fired, the front door shattered as Clark flung himself in front of Lex.

Rachel's eyes widened as the bullet bounced off Clark's head and onto the floor. She walked over to pick up the bullet and saw that it was completely crumpled.

She looked curiously at Clark as the teen untied Lex.

"I aimed the gun at your head," she stated.

"It must have missed," Clark said as he picked Lex up and onto his shoulders then began to walk away. "The police will be here in about-"

The sound of sirens interrupted him.

"Now" he finished as he walked out of the house.

Martha took off her jacket before taking a seat at the table, she'd just finished her work with Lionel and it was the Kents' night for taking care of Clark. She gave her son a kiss on the cheeks as she handed him a glass of milk.

"Rachel's been admitted to a private psychiatric clinic. It seems she was addicted to morphine, delusional and was obsessively incest phobic."

Clark's eye brows knitted together in confusion. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I have no idea."

Jonathan snorted and rolled his eyes as he joined them at the table.

Martha gave the two Kent men a hug. "I'm just glad our family is still in one piece...Well, sort of." She added as she looked over at Clark.

Clark looked curiously between his parents. "So dad, you still didn't explain to me why you hated Lionel so much. I mean he helped us with the adoption papers."

Jonathan instantly looked uncomfortable. "Um...son, I think that maybe we should talk about this when you're a little older." Martha rolled her eyes at her husband as he said this.

Clark sighed.

Lionel relaxed as he sipped his glass of scotch. The sound of Madam Butterfly echoed through the study as Lionel stroked his beard, waiting for his son to return.

He spun the chair in the direction of the door as it slammed open.

"Hello Lex, how are you feeling?"

"Fine dad. I'm still breathing. No thanks to you of course."

Lionel chuckled. "What did you want me to do? Jump in front of you and block the way? Don't be ridiculous Lex. I did as much as I could."

Lex snorted and turned away as Lionel got up and walked over to his son.

"You would have done the same thing Lex. I know you. You wouldn't give up Clark either."

Lex froze at his father's words and shivered when he felt warm hands on his shoulders.

"You know I'm right." He whispered in Lex's ears.

"Just tell me one thing dad. Did Rachel have your baby?"

"Yes"

"Is it Clark?"

Lionel smirked at his son's hesitation. "No Lex, Clark is not her child. Her child is long dead." He said as he kissed Lex's neck.

"So tell me who Clark's mother is" Lex said as he turned to face the blind man and Lionel's walking stick dropped to the floor.

"I don't know Lex. All I know is that he is mine. And he is yours."

And Lionel caught Lex's lips with his, his tongue seeking entrance that Lex gladly offered. Lex held his father tightly as the blind man saw him with his hands, warm tongues battling for dominance as Lex tasted the scotch on Lionel's lips and teeth.

Lionel stopped for a second.

"Why don't we take this in the bed room?" he whispered into Lex's ears as the young man nodded.

Lex picked up the discarded walking stick before leading Lionel out of the study.

Nudism just wasn't the same when it was done in a castle, Clark thought to himself as he flopped down onto the king-sized bed. He wasn't quite sure whether it was the lack of dirt that was found in the barn or the fact that he could no longer look at Lana from his telescope while doing it anymore. Or maybe it was just the fact that he could hear people moving about and didn't feel quite as alone as he did in the Fortress of Solitude.

It was his first weekend with the Luthors and Lionel had insisted that Clark take the time to learn what being a Luthor was all about. Lex was suppose to meet him at 1:00pm so they could start, it was already 3:00pm and Lex was no where to be found.

Clark was beginning to worry when his super hearing picked up a scream coming from one of the bedrooms in the mansion. He recognized the voice to be Lex's and super-speeded toward the sound.

Clark didn't think as he stopped in front of the door, and broke in.

What he saw there shocked him beyond human imagination...or alien imagination for that matter.

Lex screamed again, twitching and turning in his leather cuffs as his father's cock speared him with punishing strokes over and over again. He arched his body, eager and wanton for the sensation as his own length wept against Lionel's stomach.

Clark's squeak caught Lionel's attention and the man ceased his thrusting and turned towards the noise.

Lex moaned in frustration at the loss but followed his father's blind gaze.

"Clark!" he shouted, but unable to move due to the restraints. He looked back at Clark again and his expression of surprise was traded for that of pure lust.

It was only then that Clark realized he was still naked.

And that his dick was having a reaction.

He blushed furiously before reflectively grabbing the nearest object to cover himself with. In this case, it was an empty bottle of scotch on the near by table, which barely covered it and besides that, it only served to magnify and refract his hardening cock in strange ways.

Lex purred.

Clark ran.

"Wait Clark, I can explain!" Lex screamed after him

Clark made a pit stop at his bed room to put some clothes on before speeding back to the Kent farm. He tossed himself on the sofa once he was inside the barn. Usually he would be stripping right about now but he knew Lex was going to follow him so he didn't bother.

He heard tires screeching against concrete and knew that Lex was near. He flipped himself on his stomach, hiding his face as he heard the sound of expensive shoes enter the barn.

"Clark?"

The teen didn't answer but Lex knew he was there. He climbed up to see the boy curled up, face down on the couch and couldn't help but smile. Then he remembered why he was here and moved to sit next to Clark.

"Clark... Listen, I can explain."

At that Clark looked up with a blush. "Um...actually it's ok if you don't Lex. I really don't wanna know," he said before turning to stare at the floor, his face burning.

"Clark...I...Well you see-"

"I don't wanna know why you're having sex with your father Lex!!!"

"But Clark, this concerns you too," Lex said a little too calmly.

Clark was still blushing but his expression shifted to confusion.

"How does you...doing it ...with your father concern me?"

"Well, he is your father too Clark."

Clark's eyes widened as he shifted away from Lex. Lex ignored this sign of discomfort and continued talking anyway.

"You see Clark; it has long been the Luthor tradition for the father to," Lex paused to searching for the right words. "Stake his claim on his child's puberty."

Clark just gave him a confused look.

Lex rolled his eyes. "Um...Let me rephrase that. It's a Luthor tradition for the father to... claim the heir's sweet fruits of innocence."

This just caused Clark's eyebrows to knot together in more confusion. Lex sighed and gave up on subtlety.

"Clark, Luthor fathers have sex with their kids" he said this very slowly as if explaining it to a five year old. "It's a family tradition."

All the colors drained out of Clark's face before it was poured back again a million shades deeper than it was before. Clark just couldn't deal with the situation and did the only thing he could think of that usually made him more comfortable.

He got naked.

Clark slumped back down onto the sofa after finally yanking off his boxers and started breathing like he was having a panic attack. It was ten minutes before he noticed that Lex was looking at him. His intense stare was that of starved tiger eyeing its big, juicy prey.

"They certainly grow them BIG in Kansas," the man said suggestively.

It was only then that he realized that getting naked wasn't the best idea after all.

Clark edged slowly away from the older man, suddenly very aware of every cell in his body (assuming he had any) as Lex gave a quiet growl and started prowling toward him.

Then he pounced.

Clark saw Lex jumping at him and out of shock, pushed the bald man off the moment he landed. Unfortunately, he used just a little too much force and caused Lex to go through the roof and into the afternoon sky.

Clark didn't even have time to put his clothes on as he super-speeded out to catch his `brother'. He ran into the corn field, held up his hand and half a nanosecond later, Lex was in his arms. He had hit his head too hard on the roof and was now unconscious, though no wound could be seen.

Clark sighed in relief as everything Jonathan Kent had ever taught him about precaution repeated itself in his head before carrying Lex to the mansion.

A whimper brought Clark's attention back to his brother as he opened his eyes and blinked confusingly at Clark.

"Hey Lex, how are you feeling?"

"Like I've been thrown around like a basket ball. What happened? Last thing I remember was..." He let the sentence trail off and looked back at Clark who was now fully clothed.

"I must have been dreaming," he murmured. "What time is it?"

"It's almost seven; we'll have to go down to dinner soon."

Lex's implanted eyebrows knotted together in confusion.

"What happened?"

"Oh, um...well... I...we were playing basketball this after noon, and uh...you fell and hit your head," Clark stuttered, hoping Lex would buy it, or at the very least, let it go.

"Riiight" Lex said, reminding himself to teach Clark how to lie better, but letting it go anyway.

"Well, I'm sorry I didn't get to teach you `The Ways of the Luthors' as dad had wanted me too." Lex said, once again changing the subject.

Clark blushed again at the thought of what Lex had told him.

"It's ok, we still have tomorrow." He said enthusiastically as he reflected on all he had learnt today and wondered why it didn't bother him more than it did.

Lionel and Lex were already at the table when Clark had arrived and he could sense the usual tension in the room that was present during every meal they shared together and for the first time, Clark wondered if it was the kind of tension he'd originally thought it was when he'd first arrived.

He took a seat next to Lionel, opposite Lex as Lionel called for the appetizers to be served.

"So Clark, what did you learn today?" Lionel asked as everyone began to eat.

"I...uh...well you see I didn't get to learn much cause uh...well you see we had a little accident and Lex was unconscious...b-but only just a little bit"

"I see" Lionel said before reaching out for his scotch and taking a sip. "So I am to assume that Lex didn't explain to you about what you saw?"

Deer-caught-in-headlights expressions graced the faces of the two sons but for entirely different reasons.

Fortunately for them, Lionel was blind and didn't see them. But despite that, he could sense that they were both hiding something, if not from him then from each other.

Lex quickly changed his expression to that of one lost in thought but didn't say anything as Clark searched for words.

Lionel smirked again.

"Um, actually he did...daddy" Clark said nervously, breaking the silence "Just before the accident."

"I certainly hope that it wasn't the cause of the `accident'." Lionel said in that creepy way he said things, like he could read everyone's minds.

"It wasn't," Clark said a little too quickly before staring at his food.

They continued to eat in silence as usual.

After the main course the Baked Alaska was served. Its flames rising up as the pure white of the whipped cream turned darker in an almost symbolic gesture.

When the fire was gone Clark dove in hungrily despite the large meal he'd just eaten as Lex watched with eyes just as hungry. Clark's wet tongue cleaned his lips from the white stain of cream and Lex purred again.

Clark stopped eating as he heard it. He was becoming very familiar with the sound and wondered if Lex had feline ancestors rather than primate. Then Lex bit his lips ineffectively fighting against a moan. Clark switched to x-ray vision and saw that Lionel was fondling Lex under the table. Then Lionel, as if he really could read Clark's mind, placed his hands on Clark's thigh as well. Clark gasped.

Then Lex reached over, half of his body lying on the table as his hands touched Clark's cheeks coming back with a bit of ice-cream on them.

"You missed a spot," he said huskily, putting his fingers over Clark's mouth. The boy looked at it before hesitantly sticking the tip of his tongue out, but as he got closer to those thin fingers, it moved away. His tongue followed it until he was leaning across the table when he finally caught it and took it into his mouth, his tongue tasting the sweetness of the ice-cream mixing with the salt of Lex's skin as he sucked on it

He let out an unfamiliar sound as the fingers moved away which was quickly replaced by warm lips. Clark licked at the scarred upper lips as they opened for his curious tongue. He lost all ability to think as the velvet feel of Lex's tongue slid over his. His own tongue fought to feel more of it as the two entwined, lost in the sensation as their breath mixed together, hot against their skin.

A clattering sound brought their attention back to Earth. Slightly dazed, Clark looked down and realized that he had accidentally put his hand into his Baked Alaska and that the plate had fallen to the floor and broken.

He also realized that his pants were definitely tighter.

"Don't worry the maid will get that." Lex said casually as he sat back down onto the chair, acting as if nothing had happened and that it was perfectly normal for him to just get up and kiss his brother like that. But then, for him, it probably was.

Clark wiped his hand against a napkin before Lionel started to get up.

"Clark, Lex, walk me back to my room." He said; the smirk still on his face.

"Sure dad," Lex said before talking his father's hand and leading him out of the room.

"Come on Clark," he called after and Clark follow obediently all the while trying not to think.

They walked through the hallways and up the stairs with Lex leading Lionel on the left, and Clark hanging off Lionel's arm on the right. Clark wondered why he couldn't just pick both of them up, throw them over his shoulders and carry them. They were moving at a speed which made Clark think that they weren't get there until around noon in the next century.

But, he kept his mouth shut and just followed them.

Eventually they got there. Lex opened the door for his father before looking questioningly at Clark. The boy knew that if he walked through that threshold things would never be the same again and he gave serious thought to super-speeding back to his barn. But his pants were still tight and he would have to come back here again anyway and that would have been too awkward to handle since it was obvious what he felt.

So he stepped in and locked the door behind him.

Lionel gestured for Clark to come to him, which the boy did hesitantly, almost balking as he felt the older man's hand wrap itself around Clark's neck and as he brought their lips together.

Lionel's lips were so different from Lex's. Rougher, hotter, more demanding and they devoured Clark whole. The teen felt his knees go weak as his hand sought out Lionel's body, holding it, feeling it, touching it and all the while still craved for more. He moaned and bucked when he felt a firm hand squeeze his ass as the other tangled in his hair.

The boy didn't stop until he started to feel dizzy from lack of oxygen (assuming that's what he breathed in) but he didn't let go of the (much) older man.

"Wow!" he said breathlessly, his lips swollen red and his cheeks rosy. He'd never been kissed like that before...not that he had much experience.

Then Clark felt a hard length pressing against his ass as pale arms wrapped themselves around his stomach. Lex was already naked as he attached his lips to Clark's skin sucking and biting as his hands roamed under Clark's shirt.

Lex moved over to help his blind father undress and Clark's mouth went dry at the sensuality of their movements, as if it were a dance of sexuality seducing him. He rubbed his cock through his pants as the two Luthors kissed and thrust and sucked, until the older man's body revealed itself to him completely and Clark found himself fascinated with the two hard columns, thrusting against each other. One thick and surrounded coarse brown hair that ran up his stomach and over his chest, the other, thin and long and completely smooth.

Lex led his father to the king sized bed and gestured for Clark to follow. Clark fumbled with the buttons of his shirt as he did and Lex's long fingers took over with expertise as Lionel mapped his body with his lips, his coarse beard leaving marks on his son's pale skin. Clark shrugged off his shirt and accidentally bit his own tongue as Lionel's lips bit down on his nipple.

Lex quickly unzipped Clark's pants, releasing the trapped desire, and pulled it off before pulling Clark down onto the bed with them, his lips instantly going to Clark's other nipple as the boy whimpered and thrust.

Though Clark's eyes were opened he felt as if he was suddenly blind too, not seeing but feeling, touching, tasting as the two bodies moved against him, smooth and rough skin sliding as his hands explored. A thought suddenly occurred to him, that he was going to lose his virginity in a threesome and that turned him on more than he ever thought possible.

He felt Lionel's cock rubbing against his ass as Lex's rubbed against his own and wondered where he'd lost his mind and if he'd ever be able to find it again. Then Lex got up and went to the bathroom and he was about to ask Lionel why when but was silenced once again by Lionel's lips and teeth.

Lex returned a moment later with a tube and a roll of condoms. He placed them on the bedside table before going to Clark's now purple cock and licking a strip down the underside of it before sucking on the mushroom tip teasingly. Clark whimpered and began pleading and begging as Lex slipped a lubed finger into his own hole.

Then suddenly Clark bucked, feeling the completely alien (no pun intended) feeling of Lionel's finger inside of him.

"Shh, relax" Lionel whispered as he lubed the boy, his fingers pushing against the tight ring of muscles. Clark reminded himself that if he didn't relax, he could break Lionel's finger.

Clark started to relax and was rewarded as Lionel hit the prostate and he barely suppressed a scream, thrusting himself inside Lex's mouth as the fingers rubbed against the spot over and over again. Lionel bit down hard on Clark skin and Clark cursed his invulnerability as the heat from Lex's mouth covered his cock.

Lionel added another finger, his slow rhythm driving Clark crazy as the boy begged and moaned, almost choking Lex as he thrust violently back and fourth as Lex swallowed it down like a pro aiding Lionel in driving Clark to insanity as his other hand played with Clark's balls. By the time the third digit entered, Clark was fucking himself on Lionel's hand, and by fourth Clark bit his lips so hard he actually bled (though the wound closed itself off instantly) and he twisted his balls to stop himself from coming.

Lex gave Clark's dick one last lick before rolling a condom over it, as Lionel did the same to his , rubbing lube on it before positioning himself against Clark's tight ass as Lex positioned himself on Clark's dick.

This time Clark really did scream as the hard cock moved slowly in and out of him and the tightness of Lex enveloped his burning cock. He pushed himself further into the tightness and was rewarded with a groan from Lex just as Lionel pushed himself a little deeper each time he entered.

Lionel paused when he was completely inside, allowing Clark to get used to the stretch, but Clark was already there and he pushed back against Lionel.

"Please Daddy!" Clark whimpered as arched against the hardness inside of him before spearing himself again, begging the man to move; his own thrusts hard and uncontrollable as he pushed in and out of Lex.

At that Lionel growled and thrust in full force, almost throwing Lex off Clark's dick as he fucked himself on it.

"Yes! Daddy! Yes!" Clark screamed again as Lionel's thrust grew fiercer. Lex could feel Lionel's every thrust into Clark as the large cock inside him pushed in and out with sheer desperation, uneven thrusts that completely made up for the teen's inexperience with passion. It was harsh and primal and Lex could feel himself bleeding despite the lube but he didn't care cause it felt so good.

"Julian!" he screamed, but Clark barely noticed as he gripped Lex's hip with bruising force, his balls slapping against Lex's pale ass as his own was plunged into Lionel.

Clark didn't even hear himself as he screamed, as thrust himself into the sensation around him, pushing himself onto Lionel and thrusting into Lex as if that was the only thing he could do in his life and that he would die if he stopped. Clark was feeling pleasure that he had never felt before in his life and for once, he didn't care, didn't care about anything except Lionel's cock and Lex's ass and even that was almost too much. He tried to last for as long as he could but he knew that that wasn't long.

"That's it Clark, good boy" Lionel growled against the boy's ears, he knew they boy was close and thrust even harder. Lex felt it too as the boy's thrusts grew frantic, as if he'd die if he couldn't get off and Lex started jacking his own length riding the sensation.

Clark came with a roar, he seed shooting into the rubber with a force that almost blew it off, as he continue to thrust back and forth with velocity close to his super-speed. He spasmed around Lionel's cock, bringing the man to climax as he tried to hold onto the boy, and thrusting into him as Lex followed suit; spearing himself on Clark's dick over and over again as the ribbons of white cum shot out and he screamed "Julian!".

Afterwards they all lay there, slumped on the bed, completely boneless and dazed in their high. Eventually Lex got up, it was then that Clark noticed the blood running down his legs.

"Oh my god! Lex, I'm so sorry. I didn't even realize I was thrusting that hard."

Lex just smiled, "It's ok Clark, I've had worse. You were great tonight." He said before leaning down to give Clark a tender kiss before heading to the bathroom to clean up.

Clark removed the condom from himself and Lionel before slumping back down on the bed. Trying not to let his brain catch up with him. He was too tired to think about moral issues and what this could mean right now.

Lex returned a while later and handed the others a wet towel to clean off before lying down and snuggling against Clark. Lionel lay down on his other side, his hand stroking Clark's hair tenderly as his two sons fell asleep. He gave them both a kiss on their foreheads.

"Welcome to the Luthors, Clark" He murmured before sleep finally took over.

END