Title: Rake The Moon
From a poem titled Three Men of Gotham by Thomas Love Peacock Thanks to Abi for being so patient and helpful, and for making me write. All flubs are mine.

When Bruce opened the door, the first thing he saw was his new roommate, sitting on the bed against the windowless wall.

"Ok, no problem, I'll take the one near the window." The other boy didn't respond aloud, just nodded quickly.

"I'm Bruce; you must be," he looked at the paper in his hand, "Alexander. Alexander Luthor. Lionel Luthor's your dad, hunh? Hear a lot about your old man." Damn. The pictures he'd seen of the kid didn't quite do justice to him. The kid wasbald-- cue ball, hairless, no fuzz, seriously bald. Not ugly, just... weird on a kid his age-wonder why...

The kid just shrugged and mumbled something.

--Great, sparkling personality this one-- Bruce turned on the overhead light and the kid made a small noise and shifted closer toward the wall.

"What, you don't want the light on? Sorry, but it's getting a little dim in here, and anyway, maybe you should be, you know, unpacking?"

Bruce swung his bag onto the bed and started his own unpacking. "So, according to the paper, you're in the class under mine, how'd you get to room with me? They usually the classes together..." he muttered almost to himself as he stacked clean folded clothes on his bed.

"My father has a strange sense of humor," the boy said, his voice oddly muffled. "I guess he thought it would be interesting to see how I would handle being with someone ...older."

Bruce turned to look at him for the first time. --Wow. The kid had a hell of a bruise across his mouth- He'd seen bruises like that before -- before he'd put on muscle and weight and learned how to take care of himself. Somebody had popped the kid but good. --That didn't happen here ...he brought that with him. --

Shit.

Just what he needed. A whole lot of shit and some stupid drama or something, a weedy little roommate, and probably a whole lot of whining by the looks of him. Bruce turned away, -- not my goddamn problem. Everybody has some kind of story, and so fucking what, right? --

He finished unpacking and was struck by how quiet the kid was. He didn't speak another word, just silently unpacked his bag and put a few things out that Bruce figured were personal. Not much there, either-- a few old-fashioned looking books, a metal box of some kind, a picture. Good. Bruce didn't like clutter; glad he had a roommate who thought the same way.

The kid put a laptop on his desk and then sat, finished

Bruce approved.

By the time they were both done, it was lights out. Lex moved behind the door of his wardrobe for the meager privacy it afforded to change. Bruce didn't bother, stripped at his bedside and pulled on a pair of sleep pants. He folded his clothes carefully and put them in his wardrobe and saw that Alexander did the same. Alexander wore a pair of plain blue pajamas, buttoned all the way up to the neck, good quality but strictly utilitarian. And ugly as sin. He slipped into bed and turned to the wall, all without a word.

--Hmmm.--Bruce thought to himself. --This kid is beyond quiet. He's almost... not here at all. Well good, then, the perfect roommate. --

Later that night, Bruce woke up the way he usually did, alert and on edge -- a tiny muffled sound was coming from...ah. There. The opposite side of the room. The kid was crying, so softly that most people wouldn't have heard it at all. Shit. Bruce punched his pillow, flopped onto his back, and the sound cut off. He lay in the dark, listening for a while but he didn't hear anything else that night. Fuck. So much for the perfect roommate.

As the days went by, Alexander remained pretty much unchanged, and they began to fall into an agreeable routine. Alexander made it easy by seeming to anticipate Bruce's moods. That was something he wasn't used to. Most people seemed totally unable to read him, which gave him a reputation as a difficult loner. Bruce was fine with that; for the most part it gave him the privacy he wanted. After a while they even stopped assigning roommates to him, (as a kind of punishment for the other boys.) Money didafter all count for something, even in this supposedly spartan world of academics and self-sacrifice.

Things started to change a bit, as the time for Parent's Day came closer. Parents came to visit about every two months. The school did it's best to make it a festive affair, in its dour way. Bruce after two months was becoming nearly as attuned to Alexander's moods as the boy was to his, and as time came closer to the parent's visit, the kid radiated tension. He became clumsier, and startled when Bruce managed to catch him unaware, which, to Bruce's surprise, wasn't that often. Bruce tried to withdraw even more from the kid, because, he told himself, he really didn't need this shit.

Day before the thing and the kid-Alexander, looked like a haunted scarecrow. He actually shook all that day. It was maddening. Bruce had no idea the kid was such a puss. The kid looked like he was about to burst into tears any minute. Bruce turned away in disgust, and finally just left the room. He strolled around the grounds a bit, kicking at the piles of leaves and amusing himself by frightening the older boys.

He finally ended up on a bench under a huge oak. He stretched his legs out straight in front of him and studied the toes of his boots. --They're starting to look a little beat; it's about time to get new ones. I guess...wonder where Alfred got them from, see if he can order some more...a new racquet too-- damn racquetball is kicking my ass...kid was watching the other -damn! Don't want to think about that little punk! -- He leaned his head back and watched the wind slowly stir the few leaves still on the branches.

"He is not my responsibility. Right."

The wind tossed the branches and a leaf or two fell towards him. --I don't have to worry about him because I don't care. He' a weepy little punk anyway. -- He jumped up and began stalking back the way he'd come. --I don't have time for runts who feel sorry for themselves. -- He swatted away a leaf furiously, took a quick look around to make sure no one saw him acting like a fool. Jesus, that brat was really getting on his nerves, making him act stupidly. -- Bastard bastard bastard-- he chanted in time to the sound of his heels stomping up the gravel pathway. Bruce yanked the collar of his wool coat a little tighter, and wrapped his scarf a little more securely around his throat. --Shit. He's probably crying all snot and tears now.... Dammit, I'm cold; I want to go back to the room...

It was late evening by the time Bruce let himself in. He steeled himself to tune out the whining and whimpering, but the kid wasn't even in the room. --Well, damn, that's a relief, -- he thought. Checked the clock. Nine o'clock. He undressed and got into bed. Punched his pillow up a bit and rolled toward the wall, ready to drop off.

Ten o'clock and Alexander wasn't in the room.

Eleven thirty, and he still wasn't in the room.

Twelve o'clock, and Bruce sat up, swung his legs over the side of the bed, at this point furious with the kid for making him worry. Just as he started to stand, the door opened He thought for a lightening quick second, --go back to bed, ignore it, ignore him-- but his mouth ran away from him.

"Where the fuck have you been! If you'd gotten caught out there, they would have torn your ass up, you little idiot!"

"Who the fuck are you! My fucking mother!"

Bruce was shocked. This was the kid...yelling, cursing-- at him? What? He looked him over.

He looked...off, strange. But weirdly calm, almost smug, just-not the boy he'd left in the room earlier that evening. * This* kid slinked over to his bed, turned and grinned at him with flat glassy eyes and it was just-- damn creepy. What the hell?

He turned his back to him and stripped. Bruce narrowed his eyes when he saw the kid's back. All the bruising he'd seen on him those first few days (no matter how the kid tried to hide them) had faded away, Bruce had pretty much forgotten them, but here were new ones, purple starbursts across his shoulders, some at the waist of his pants, looking like they dipped below the waistline-

"You're staring at me."

Bruce's instinct was to deny it, but he was afraid to speak. He was hard, and it freaked him. He just wanted to stop looking, stop thinking. He twisted till he was facing away from the other bed, not speaking, trying to blank out his mind, barely breathing...

Alexander didn't speak again that night, but close to dawn, Bruce jerked awake--- he thought he heard a sound, maybe a laugh, maybe a sob.

Parent's Day passed the way it always did for him. Alfred and he had been to lunch, (even though they were in contact nearly daily,) and he was walking Bruce back to his room. He sighed to himself as they crunched through the white gravel of the walkway. He figured these lunches were something the man did to cushion Bruce from the sight of joyful family members all over each other. Right. Most kid's parents didn't even show, there were a few he could swear were maids and then there were the kids whose parents came and -shouldn't have, probably.

And of course he had nothing but contempt for the little families that seemed to be oh so happy to see each other. Whenever he made a face or a comment, Alfred patted him...he hated that. He really didn't need to have someone coddle him. He was almost grown; he didn't need that soppy crap.

And speaking of soppy crap. Here came his roommate, and Daddy Luthor. They paused under the partial gloom of the towering pretentious stone archway that let out on the yard. He couldn't hear words, or see their lips distinctly, but from their body language; he could tell it was an intense conversation. Alexander seemed on the point of flinching nearly all the time. When his father stroked his bare head the kid almost broke his neck jerking back. He stood still though, when the old man ran his fingers down his cheek and tilted his head for a kiss on that cheek. Young Luthor got patted again, his dad's arm went around his shoulder, and he seemed to suddenly deflate, Bruce could swear that his knees actually gave a little.

He frowned deeply and then realized that Lionel Luthor was staring straight at him, right into his eyes. He looked down at his son, back up at Bruce...and smiled. He patted his son so hard on the back, the kid staggered. Without a further word or look, he turned from his father and walked back toward the dorms. He passed Bruce without looking, his face carefully blank, but his step was steadier than it had been yesterday.

Alfred glanced at Bruce with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't know, don't care," Bruce replied.

Alfred sighed to himself, but they only spoke of the next time they'd get together and said their good -byes.

Bruce strolled into the room, trying to look casual and uninterested in whatever happened during the days visit, but it was as if Alex had anticipated his disinterest and was determined to be more so. He didn't look, didn't speak, just laid on his bed and read one of his books. Bruce was furious. No, not - he didn't care, and it didn't bother him. He didn't want to speak to the kid anyway, the little psycho.

He glanced over and caught gray eyes peering over the top of the book; quick as thought, they were gone. He stared a little longer, half hoping to catch him looking again, but that was it. The kid read until lights out and just rolled over and slept, not even bothering to change into pajamas, or getting under the covers.

And why the fuck should he give a damn. Bruce punched his pillow so hard a few

pinfeathers puffed out, and he wasn't sure but he thought he heard a muffled little chuckle.

"Lex."

Bruce was startled enough to lose his place in the textbook he was reading. "What? Are you talking to me?"

The look on the kid's face said exactly what he thought of empty questions. He rolled his eyes and said again, "Lex.That's my name. I only use Alexander at school. At home I'm Lex."

His expression was perfectly relaxed, but Bruce sensed tension and could see one hand balled in a fist at his side, knuckles white with the force in which he held it closed. "My--" his voice sounded dry and thin and he stumbled on the word-"friends-- call me Lex." He looked at Bruce in a way that suggested challenge, and his face was turning pink.

Bruce gazed at him steadily. "Oh."

Lex did that weird little deflating thing, and blushed a bit pinker, shoved his hand into his pocket and turned.

"Lex."

He stopped and turned back to Bruce. Crap. He looked so fucking hopeful, too fucking hopeful. --I'm the biggest asshole in the world. -- "Cool name. Want to get something to eat?"

Lex's eyes lit up. "Yes, thanks, I would."

"You know, Alexa-Lex, it's ok to actually eat the food," Bruce drawled.

He'd been watching Lex picking at his sandwich for the last fifteen minutes. The kid had managed to tease out all the lettuce, eaten that and proceeded to shred the lunchmeat without actually eating any of it. Bruce sat the whole length of the booth and sipped at a coffee. In the time it took for Lex to figure out how to pick his sandwich apart, he'd had a cheeseburger and a piece of pie. Lex looked almost comically uncomfortable, perched on his side of the booth like a bird about to take flight.

"Can I ask, have you ever been to a diner before?" Bruce asked as seriously as he could.

Lex frowned as he glanced around the little restaurant, the cheesy retro fifties look of the place warring with the equally cheesy day-glo Halloween ornaments. "Is that what you call this place? I'm not really used to ...eating out?"

Bruce snorted. "You mean you're not used to something without linen on the table and fifteen waiters ready to serve your every whim."

"That's not what I meant! And why do you act like you're poor or something? You're richer than we are!"Lex snapped, and then instantly looked stricken. "I'm sorry, really- I- I," he stammered and went pale. His hands clenched on his napkin, tearing the cheap paper.

Bruce laughed out loud, and tapped Lex's hand.

"You're right! It's an affectation, isn't it? But I'm serious, Lex, haven't you ever just hung out, you know, with your friends, got a -a -coke or something..."

Lex stared down at the table like he was trying to memorize the boomerang pattern of the shiny new Formica. He spoke quietly. "I don't go out. I go to school. I have no real friends. I've never had a friend to go places with. My father and I do not go out. We eat at home. Always. When he goes out, I eat at home alone. I don't leave the apartment unless it's with my father, or his assistant." He stopped speaking abruptly.

Bruce watched him school himself for a moment, before he interrupted. "So. Is it for security, to protect you?"

Lex looked up at him in confusion. "I-I don't know. I honestly never thought to ask why. It just-is. Just been that way since Mom...my mother died." He gazed past Bruce, obviously far in another place and time. "It was very different then. My mom took care of me. We had fun. She was nice...funny." He refocused on Bruce. "Well, what about you? Are you going to share too?" he asked cynically.

Bruce's feet hit the floor with a thud as he straightened up. "You know about me." He said flatly. "Everyone knows my story." His smile was shiny and humorless as a shark's, the smile that kept people at bay. He leaned a bit forward, and pressed his palms flat to the table "They might ask me once; they don't ask again."

He waited for Lex to fade under his stare, but instead the kid leaned against the back of the booth and - grinned. Bruce remembered that grin. It was the one he wore the night before Parent's Day...the night he was someone else entirely. He looked at Lex and could feel a small trickle of arousal, the way the kid leaned back, he knew his legs had to be spread wide under the table, he let his head drop back against the dark blue vinyl back of the booth and the tip of his tongue slid along his lip. One hand lay still on the tabletop, and the other dropped under it. Bruce inhaled sharply, the breath felt like it caught in his throat and stuck there.

The tickle was rapidly becoming a flood, Lex never took his eyes off Bruce's and Bruce could see the kid's arm moving- he's touching himself, oh man, how could he-- When Lex brought his hand back up and folded them on the table, Bruce breathed an audible sigh of relief. Lex smiled "Are you ready to go?" was all he said.

Bruce sneaked a quick glance at himself, figured he was ok with his coat shut and nodded yes. Lex rose and smirked when he caught Bruce glancing at his crotch. Bruce refused to blush- he was furious with Lex, deeply angry at being so thoroughly manipulated by the kid. Bruce led the way, making Lex practically run to keep up with him. The wind snapped at his cheeks and made his eyes tear, --too windy, that's why they were watering. -- He violently ground the heels of his hands into his eyes, till they hurt.

He was almost grateful when some idiot jumped out at them wearing a mask and gibbering; Bruce grabbed the idiot's throat in one hand and pulled him close, snarled " I'll kill you."

The jerk in the mask backpedaled so hard when Bruce let go that gravel sprayed.

" You're a fucking asshole, Wayne!" the boy yelled. Bruce stood there, watching the other boy run off, his chest heaving with anger and -something.

When Lex tried to speak, Bruce whirled on him. " Just shut the fuck up."

Lex went blank, nodded and waited till Bruce started walking again before moving. Silent, both of them, up the stairs, to their room, behind the door. Bruce stopped at his bedside, head down as he thought about what had happened, all of it. Lex stood at his desk, hands hanging loose at his sides and tried to speak. Finally he said. "I'll ask to be moved, if you want..."

" Don't be a total asshole!" Bruce snapped, " First of all they'll never move you, because this is just what your Dad wants. For you to room with someone who's a dick, who's gonna give you a hard time. Bastard.Second, I told you to shut the fuck up."

Bruce threw himself down on the bed. He was beyond angry with himself. Pissed at being turned on by the little psycho. Pissed at being toyed with by him. --What was the deal with that...that act anyway? And now, the fucking kid looked like a dishrag again...

Bruce stopped and looked at him. Really looked at him. Strangely, he didn't actually look like the Lex in his head. He wasn't quite as pale as he thought, or as thin, or wimpy. He was quiet, reserved, he was a little frightened but... --he was trying to get some control over his life. Maybe not going about it in any kind of sane or safe way, but he was trying. What that boy needed was someone to take him in hand, someone who gave a shit-whatever.... Lex had gotten undressed and in bed while Bruce was thinking.

He heard the kid sigh. "Good night Bruce" he murmured.

" Um.You too," Bruce said, and turned to the wall, like always.

He tried to force sleep; he didn't want to be in the dark with his thoughts, but he couldn't help going back to the diner in his mind, seeing the kid in the booth, again. But in his mind, when the kid's hand went under the table, he heard the faint scrape of a zipper and a quiet whisper of sound, the ghost of a moan. The kid's eyes locked on his as his breathing deepened, roughened a bit and Bruce could clearly see his arm moving in a familiar rhythm. His eyes, his eyes were drilling into him, spreading fire through his veins.

Bruce felt himself, so hard. His mouth dried as he nearly panted from arousal, from fear that someone would notice what was going on. Lex's head pressed against the back of the booth, arching his neck and Bruce moaned a little. God, he was so sexy, why didn't he notice that before... oh God, he couldn't stop his hand from going to his dick as he watched the kid, sitting there with his head rolled to the side, his eyelids lowered a bit. He looked like sex-- he looked at Bruce. He was gasping, now. Bruce thought he could hear the slap of his fist hitting the base of his dick, hard and fast.

Bruce grabbed himself through his jeans; his dick jumped as he squeezed down and stared at Lex. Suddenly the kid gasped loudly, once, twice as his shoulders cleared the bench and his head snapped forward. He grunted, and bit his lip, came as he was staring into Bruce's eyes. Bruce took in the kid's flushed face, his rough breathing, the white line his teeth left on his pink lower lip. He shuddered from head to toe, and then Lex brought his hand up from under the table, holding Bruce's eyes he slowly and deliberately sucked at his gleaming fingers. Bruce grabbed the edge of the table and came-

Oh! Was his first thought as he woke up with his boxers wet and a little groan vibrating in his ears. What the fuck was that! His face was burning and he struggled to get his breath under control. God, he hoped he wasn't making that noise all along, but couldn't stop a small sound from escaping when he thought back on the vivid dream. He shoved his boxers down, wiped himself, and kicked them to the foot of the bed, rolled on his side to sleep.

He'd almost drifted off when a little thought stabbed his--Not me, I wasn't making noise when I woke up, -- he thought as sleep pulled him under...

The next few days went by in a blur as most of their time was devoted to studying for exams. Lex turned out to be an excellent study partner, and was willing to do more than just parrot information. He liked to pick things apart just like Bruce did. They came to enjoy the lively discussions, the arguments over little points of fact-Bruce found himself thinking sometimes that they were a good match. Lex knew when to shut up, and silence didn't bother him. He didn't feel the need like most people to fill it with aimless chatter. He was content to let it be, and Bruce appreciated that the most.

What disturbed him was that more and more, he found himself thinking of the kid the way he was that day in the diner. He'd catch himself staring at his mouth, or watching his ass as he walked by. It scared him. He wasn't sure what to do with those feelings, wasn't sure just what they meant. He'd dated some, over the summers, mostly girl's whose dads had been friends of his father. There'd been some pretty hot moments with some of them.

He never forgot the blowjob in back of the tennis court from-Carol-Karen...whatever. That was unbelievable. He'd had to bite his hand, and his knees had buckled...yeah. That had been pretty good. He saw her with a couple of different guys over the summer...it never bothered him .No big deal.

It didn't bother him either when he saw Lex. Saw him walking out with some...not very nice guys; guys that were real jerks- Bruce firmly believed it was none of his business. After all, he wasn't gay but he guessed Lex was; what he did, or who he did was of no concern and of no interest to him. He knew this to be true because he said it over and over whenever he saw the boy with someone else.

Couldn't. Care. Less.

On the other hand, he was really improving in racquetball.

Christmas came, and things got even busier. Most of the boys were headed home, but there were always a few who stayed. The school had a reduced staff on hand to make meals and try and provide some sense of festive cheer, alien as it might be to the philosophy of the school. Bruce was starting to pack when Lex was called to the phone. After a little while, he returned, looking sad but resigned.

"What's up?" Bruce asked before he could stop himself. Lex looked up sharply, Bruce's tone had been a little rougher than he intended it to be.

"I'm not about to start crying, if that's what you're worried about! No need to take off running again!" He threw open the door to his wardrobe and stood behind it, blocking himself from view.

--God damn it! --Bruce cursed to himself. --Why can't I just shut the fuck up? -- But that resigned look on the kid's face kind of pricked at him, and a sudden flash of Alfred sighing his disappointment with him on Parent's Day made up his mind.

" I'm sorry. I'm not trying to butt into your business. I just... well, you just looked a little--"

"My father wanted to let me know I'd be staying here for the holiday's. Seems the newest hopeful contender for the crown of Mrs. Luthor doesn't get along with 'children' all that well."

Bruce snorted. "You-- you're hardly a child. And she's hardly going to be Mrs. Luthor."

Lex let out a shaky laugh, and a sound that was suspiciously close to a sniff. " Well, true--"he responded. " Oh, well, Christmas is usually a horrible affair anyway." He turned toward Bruce, a crooked little smile lifting one side of his mouth.

"We gather in the study, and I give him a gift that I've bought him from town here, which makes it tacky and tasteless because it's from here and he gives me a gift that Dominic has picked out for me, and I swear, how such a young guy could be so utterly clueless about what someone our age could want-one more plaid scarf and mitten set and I swear to god, I'll shove them right up his ass. Make an interesting surprise for my Dad at any rate,"he muttered.

Bruce felt his mouth drop open. --Did he mean what that sounded like? -- Lex looked at him and rolled his eyes.

"Oh come on. I think it's perfectly plain we're not the Walton's." At Bruce's confused look, he tried again. " Little House On The Prairie...do you watch any TV at all?"

"Well, apparently you spend a lot of time watching the Old Dead TV Show Station."

" Spend an entire summer inside alone. You'd be amazed at what's entertainment when reading gets too quiet. A book is wonderful, but sometime, you just want to hear a voice, you know?" Lex turned away and started to make his bed.

Bruce stood at his bedside, poking about in his bag a bit, till finally he spoke. "Lex.Come spend the holidays with Alfred and me. It's really pretty nice and the food is better than here, I promise."

He felt stupidly nervous about asking. He realized he really wanted the kid to say yes. Lex turned back toward Bruce, and smiled. A genuine smile. Bruce felt a goofy grin on his own face, but he couldn't stop it. His chest felt like a big warm hand enfolded it. Damn. Who'd think just the expression on the kid's face could make him feel -anything.

"So, alright already. Pack. I'll call Alfred." Bruce started towards the door when Lex called out.

"My Dad! He'll never let me go." He did that horrible deflating thing that made Bruce's throat hurt.

Bruce looked at him fiercely. " Oh, you're going all right. Alfred can make anybody do anything. He'll fix it." He looked so determined; so certain that Lex relaxed and smiled again, his usual ghost of a smile.

"Ok." He looked up at Bruce. "Ok. I believe you."

Bruce didn't know how Alfred got Lionel to agree to the visit and he never asked. Whatever he said or did, he must have deemed it worthwhile just to get Bruce out of his shell, show some sign of caring about another person. Bruce knew Alfred worried about him, but there was no convincing him that he was just fine on his own, that he preferred it. People wanted too much, needed too much. You had to ...pet them all the time in order to keep them happy.

Lex seemed different. He seemed content to just be there in the room. He didn't try to engage Bruce. Not at all. Very much the opposite. Bruce guessed whenever he needed -something, he went out with one of those assholes. At least he seemed to be the one calling the shots there, no matter what it looked like when he got home. Bruce gritted his teeth and his fists balled as he thought of some of those times Lex came home.

He must have made some noise, because Lex looked up from his book and made an inquiring noise. Bruce just shook his head and returned his attention to breakfast.

It'd been a nice couple of days, very relaxing for the both for them after the madness of exams and getting ready to head out for the holidays. Christmas had been very nice; Lex seemed to enjoy getting his gifts as much as Alfred enjoyed giving them.

Bruce had been seriously annoyed by the fond looks he kept throwing him. Several times during the day he'd promised himself that if he got one more 'kindly old uncle' look from the man, he was going to drag that kid out to the garden and bury him under the snow-how's that for sharing and caring. In fact, he'd nearly done just that, when Lex insisted they build snowmen.

" A snowman? Why would we want to do that?" he'd responded in complete and total astonishment when Lex suggested it.

" Because it's fun, Bruce. Haven't you ever done that? You know, something just for fun-that didn't involve being threatening and scary, any way. Even I've made snowmen." He laughed at the look on Bruce's face. " Come on Bruce," he grinned." It's all about...balls. You make a ball, put it on top of another ball, pretty soon you're--"

"Balling?" Bruce interrupted, and immediately flushed bright red.

Lex laughed aloud in surprise.

" Bruce!" Lex smacked him in the chest. " You made a joke! So you can be silly when you want. I like that!" He really did look delighted, which kind of surprised Bruce. He'd never seen a silly side to Lex. He only ever saw him serious, or upset, or...that weird unsettling way he got sometimes.

Bruce sighed dramatically, "All right than. Let's do this thing."

Lex practically bounced out the doors, ready to do battle with the snow. Bruce watched him go a bit before joining him. He couldn't get over how different, how alive he seemed. This must have been the boy that he was with his mother. For a moment, he was frozen by a flash of jealousy so intense it made his stomach turn and he wasn't sure if he was jealous of Lex or his mother...He didn't have memories of his mom that made him want to run out in the snow, that made him tell jokes or laugh. He didn't remember stories or hugs, glasses of water after being tucked up in bed at night, or a cool hand on a hot forehead. All he got to keep was the memory of his mother face up in a pool of black blood, her dead eyes locked with his.

The late afternoon sun threw blue shadows across the snow and painted the sky pink and gold. Lex looked amazing in that light; he looked like an angel, even with cheeks and nose so red that Bruce was tempted to cover them with his hands. Lex actually chattered as he put the finishing touches to his days work. The garden was now host to not just a snowman, but a whole snow family, including a snow dog. Lex was glowing; he looked so happy. Bruce watched him, feeling his chest getting tighter and tighter. He opened his mouth to ask Lex if he'd had enough, if he was ready to go in.

What came out was, "Does your father hit you?"

All the joy drained out of Lex's face and he looked blankly at Bruce for a second, and his face became as smooth and unreadable as marble.

"You know, I always knew you were kind of a jerk, Bruce, but I never thought you were a mean jerk." He started to walk away but turned back to him. " My Father loves me--"

"He hits you."

"When I do something wrong, when I make him mad, sometimes."

"He does ...other things to you."

"Fuck you, Bruce," he said in a tired, tired voice, a voice that belonged to a much older person.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Bruce. And you're wrong, whatever you're thinking." "How-how can he do that...how can you let it happen?"

"I don't let anything happen, because nothing happens. We're not talking about my father anymore. I'm tired, let's go inside". He smiled, a little. "Please, let's not make Alfred unhappy."

Bruce burned in a wash of guilt. He was a fucking asshole, a shithead, a jerk. What, he couldn't stand to see the kid happy? He just had to screw up a happy moment for him...

"Listen, Lex. I'm an asshole." Bruce looked at the ground, the sky, the snow family, anywhere but at Lex. He couldn't possibly feel worse. --Please, please don't be mad, don't be mad --

Lex's only response was a murmur that in Lex fashion, could mean anything from "Oh?" to "Yes, you are a fucking asshole."

Bruce risked a look at Lex, who just sighed and said, " Come on, let's get Alfred to make us hot cocoa." Bruce was pleased that Lex didn't tell him to go to hell.

"I can make the cocoa for us..."

"Hell, no! I want to be able to drink it, not wonder if my insides are going to implode!"

"Hardy -fucking-har!" Bruce snapped, and blushed in pleasure-- forgiven! -- as they made their way back in doors.

New Years Eve promised to be a lot of fun that year. Alfred was certainly enjoying himself. He truly enjoyed having the active and enthusiastic boys around, and all the preparations for the evening. The day had passed pleasantly for all of them. Lunch, a little shopping for some things they would need for the evening and their return to school.

The boys had tried to talk the older man into buying champagne, but they had to make do with sparkling cider, much to Bruce's disgruntlement, especially since Lex let slip that he'd always had a glass of champagne every New Years. Bruce's yelp of outrage did nothing to soften Alfred's heart, but it did make Lex laugh, and made Bruce wonder again when that sound had become so important to him.

They were carrying a full bag apiece, Bruce nimbly dancing around piles of slushy gray snow, and snickering whenever his companions were forced to slosh directly through them. They were arguing over which shop windows were the tackiest in terms of Christmas dcor, and Bruce kept sneaking looks at Lex and thinking how nice he looked in his long wool overcoat and how it looked kind of cool when the wind grabbed the hem and made it flap out behind him like long black wings.

All up and down the gray wet street people were grinning at each other in leftover Christmas spirit, Bruce figured. He turned to Lex to tell him so, and caught him grinning at some guy in a pea coat. The guy was giving Lex a frankly appraising look, smiling back at him and Lex looked so pleased that Bruce got angry. --Well, I guess our company isn't good enough for him. Look at him, could you be more obvious? He's going to get beat up if he keeps this up--He frowned and huffed and Alfred turned around and looked at him inquiringly.

--Great. Now I get the Eyebrow, -- Bruce thought. Alfred glanced at him and then at Lex, and followed his line of sight to the stranger in the pea coat. He looked back at Bruce with entirely too much sympathy and Bruce stomped ahead of the both of them. --What was that supposed to mean? He's just my friend-- he shouldn't be looking at guys when he's with us, it's not right. Not-not polite--

Suddenly Lex was at his arm.

"Hey! Do you have to run all the time? Look at poor Alfred back there trying to keep up with us. Poor old guy..." Lex looked at Bruce with a grin that was bigger and brighter than the one he gave that ...guy, and Bruce felt light and happy again.

When the ball had dropped and they all shook hands and Dick Clark was packed away in formaldehyde for another year (at least that's what Lex claimed they did, earning a shocked snort of laughter from Alfred) they made their way to bed. It had been a great evening for them all and Lex thanked Bruce a couple of times for inviting him to his home.

"It's seriously the best New Years I've had." He enthused.

Right before he hopped into bed, he gave Bruce a hug, leaned into him a bit, and said," Thanks for being a friend. Thanks for being my best friend!"

Bruce listened to the steady sound of Lex's breathing. He couldn't sleep and he felt restless, his skin felt too tight and itchy. His body didn't feel like it was even his.... he got up and wandered around the room in the dark, ending up looking down at the sleeping kid.

Light from the street came through the partially opened curtains at the window, making it easy for Bruce to watch Lex sleeping. He looked otherworldly, mysterious. Bruce leaned closer until he could feel Lex's breath warm against his cheek. He hung there for a moment, till he became afraid he'd wake Lex up and straightened. He imagined he could see through the sheet covering him, the quilt meant to go over it was pushed between the wall and his body. As he stared down on him, the kid made a small sound deep in his throat and stirred.

Bruce swallowed hard, watched the movement under the sheet as Lex's dick filled, shifting the sheet, raising it up a bit and Bruce couldn't take his eyes away, he felt faint, and his mouth was so dry and he just--just couldn't take his eyes away. He touched himself, almost surprised that he was hard. He stood at the side of Lex's bed watching the rise and fall of his chest, listening to his breathing change. He watched his dick flex, and tried to imagine what he could be dreaming about, and the whole time his hand was on his own dick, his fingers were getting wet, and he was almost dizzy from holding his breath, trying not to make a sound. He was disgusted with himself.

When a smile flitted over the sleeping face it was too much for him, he nearly ran into the bathroom, closed and locked the door and leaned up against it. A wave of nausea and-lust swept him from head to toe, and he shuddered when he pulled his boxers down to his thighs, groaned when he stroked, lightly at first, then harder, thinking of Lex's dick, Lex's lips curled in a sleepy smile, his tongue sliding out and wetting them. Bruce looked down, watched his hand working his dick and thought of Lex, doing it to himself, some guy, that guy on the street, to him-he groaned aloud--the way he looked when he came in sometimes, that grin, that -that fucked look-shit! He came hard on the thought of Lex's back covered with bites, and bruises on his hips.

"It's cold, Bruce! Shut the window!" he scowled at his roommate, and wrapped his arms around himself.

"It's stinking in here, we need to air the room out," Bruce muttered.

He was working on a project that so far as Lex could tell, had importance only to him. He asked about it once and Bruce had never really answered, only put it all away. It had looked like a pile of newspaper clippings and photographs and other papers. Lex didn't ask again, he knew about secrets and privacy.

Lex sighed and threw himself backwards on the bed.

"I'm bored. I think I'm going to go out, see what's up."

Bruce snapped his head up and eyed Lex. Had he missed something here? --Lex seemed to be ok, he hadn't been nervous and out of sorts the last few days-and maybe he just wants to go out. I'm turning into Alfred here for fucks sake....

"Yeah? Do you want to go get something, cup of coffee or something?" Bruce put his project away, went to his wardrobe to get his jacket.

"You know, Bruce, I think I'll go alone, ok? I just want to think a bit, you know? Get some fresh air?" He smiled at Bruce, a great big smile that did nothing to make Bruce feel comfortable.

"You were just complaining you were cold--" he started, but Lex cut him off.

"How about you mind your own business and not worry about stuff, Kid'," he snapped and slammed the door on his way out.

Bruce sat staring at the door. Jesus, what the hell happened here? He just got a verbal kick in the gut. His face burned as he heard Lex again, spitting out 'Kid' like it was something nasty. Bruce felt violated, as if Lex reached into his chest and ripped an important piece of him out. --Well, fuck him! I don't have to watch him all the time because we're friends. I'm not a babysitter...he must have heard me call him kid...did it bother him--oh, screw him! He can do what he wants .I. Don't. Care. --"Bruce thought furiously as he jammed his arms into his jacket and yanked the door open.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!"

All down the hall open doors quickly and slammed shut again.

He walked along the service road at the back of the school, headed out past the athletic fields and courts. The trees lining the road were casting deep shadows in the evening gloom and behind him lights were coming on at the courts. He stopped for a moment and scanned the grounds, looking for movement. He turned on his heel as he looked all about, but he didn't see anyone on the fields or by the fountain at edge of the fields. He'd just have to walk further out, to the gardens, maybe. He headed for the line of hedges that separated the fields from the vegetable gardens the horticulture classes maintained. The hedges were a line of solid black broken by a gated trellis in the middle.

Stuff happened out there, he knew. Guys talked about getting drunk back there by the sheds or getting high. Or stuff that no one put a name on, but every body knew about.... He walked a little faster, and in no time he was through the hedges and coming up on the sheds where equipment for the gardens were stored. It was dark there, but there was some light thrown by the floods mounted at the garage doors to his far right.

--Tell me again why you're doing this-- he asked himself. --What is your plan, exactly, if you find him? Scold him and pull him home by his ear? Pray to God he's just getting drunk out here? --

He heard a scuffling noise and froze. For a moment he just wanted to turn around and go back to the room, but he went forward, silently moving over the gravel, quiet as a breath. He rounded the corner of one shed, and heard the scrape of gravel again and voices. His stomach twisted; he felt a little sick when he recognized, just barely, Lex's voice. He'd never heard it like this before...hoarse, demanding-damn. Damn. He pulled back into the shelter of some shrubs, and watched. Lex and someone, Lex was leaning against the wall and the guy was leaning on him-oh. Lex's head was back and his teeth were bared in a snarl, and he was...speaking.

"Fuck me you puss! Harder! Harder, you--"

The guy grabbed Lex's hips and slammed him against the wall so hard Bruce could hear it. He rammed into him, cursing and grunting with the force. Lex laughed and the guy smacked his forehead into the wall and pushed in, lifting Lex onto his toes.

Lex gasped, growled, "What are you waiting for, you asshole--"

The guy threw an arm around Lex's throat and pulled him higher. Even partially shadowed there was no mistaking the look of triumph on Lex's face.

Bruce could see the guy sink his teeth into Lex' shoulder and he watched Lex come, closed his eyes tight as he listened to Lex howl, thought to himself, --his face-it looks the same as it did in my dream--and then didn't think anything as he opened his eyes to watch the guy come, pull out and drop Lex there on the ground. He pulled the condom off and tossed it to the ground, fixed his pants up and asked Lex if he was ok.

"I'm fine, I'll be fine. Piss off."

The other boy laughed. "Man, you are a piece of work. Aren't you going to thank me?"

Lex sneered, "For what? I've had dogs hump my leg better than that! Fuck off. I'll see you around."

"You know what, you little jerkoff, if it wasn't for that Wayne guy, I'd kick your ass but good. Shit, you'd probably get off on it."

Lex leaned back, digging his elbows into the gravel, his pants still around his ankles, and a huge grin on his face. "Go ahead, I don't give a shit. Hey, maybe I'd actually feel something if you did. I mean, your feet are the biggest thing about you, little boy."

The guy swung his foot back, just managing to stop, as good sense warred with rage.

" You little fuck, he's going to get tired of you, and then, I'm gonna kill you!" He turned and ran. "Both of you are psycho!"

"Who, Wayne! He's nobody to me, you asshole! I don't need him! I take care of myself!" Lex yelled after the him. "Asshole," he muttered as he stood and pulled himself together, shaking as he dressed again. He put a hand to his forehead and winced.

"Shit. Fucker"
Lex walked away from the sheds, staggering a little. When he passed the shrubs, Bruce could see that his forehead was bleeding, and he would bet that his shoulder was bleeding too. Bruce could see that awful grin plastered on his face. He started when Lex spoke again, afraid that he'd been seen, but the boy was talking to himself.

"So, ready to go home again...you can't do worse than me, you bastard...."

Bruce stood like a statue as Lex passed him. He memorized the other boy's face, the sound of his voice. He knew he'd be able to find that guy in the dark. He was going to deal with this, now. And then...he was going to follow Lex from now on.

He was going to find every one of those guys, and-

He started to shake as what he'd seen, what it meant, what Lex had said, all sank in. His stomach rolled as the whole scene replayed in his head, and suddenly he was on his knees throwing up in the bushes. Sweat ran down his face and his stomach heaved as he begged to forget that first he'd gotten hard watching that nightmare.

He wished he hadn't seen it, wished he hadn't been looking at Lex's face when he came, wished it hadn't looked like it did in his dream. He waited till Lex was long gone before he felt calm enough to head back.

He wished he had been the one....

He was going to make that old man wish he'd never, ever been born.

"Luthor!"

Heads turned Lex's way, the murmur at the end of the table broken off as everyone's attention focused on him. Bruce looked at Lex, who reacted not at all, just kept reading his book and picking at his breakfast. The other boy-Bellow, Bruce recalled, threaded his way through the tables, glaring at Lex.

"Warren's gone, sent home." He looked at Lex expectantly, but got no reaction at all "Broke a kneecap, and his jaw 'falling'," and he crooked the fingers of both hands in the air as he said that, "down the stairs. How in the hell do you break your jaw falling down the stairs!" He scowled at Lex, who sighed, put his book down, and looked at Bellow. Bruce watched the event unfold with interest.

"Bellow. I deeply, totally, do NOT care in the least that Warren's body finally realized there was no pilot at the wheel," and Bruce snorted at Bellow's confused look. "I'm assuming by your use of air quotes that you mean to imply something. A word of advice? The--" and he repeated Bellow's gesture, -- "air quote thing? Signals that you're an idiot, and Bellow, you really don't have to do anything to let people know, it's glaringly obvious."

The entire table snickered as Bellow processed the fact he'd been insulted.

His face went red, and he hissed, " Laugh now, you little asshole." His eyes jerked towards Bruce when he said that. When he got no reaction from him, he continued. " I know you did it. I heard what happened and I'm going to make sure you pay!"

Lex looked at him blank-faced for a second, and then exploded into laughter.

"Oh my God! What the hell have you been reading? 'Make sure you pay'? That probably sounded good in your head," he yelled after the rapidly retreating boy.

Laughter rang out, and a few boys cheered, but Bruce knew that Lex was actually furious. Everyone at the table was staring at Lex in shock. Lex Luthor? Laughing ...yelling...pretty much being normal-

"What!" he snapped out, and everyone quickly went back to what they were doing, but the buzz of the dining hall was interrupted now and then with laughter, and as people passed their table, a few grinned at him-"good one Luthor!"-- Or gave him a thumbs up, or an appraising look. One of the boys at the end of their table spoke up.

"Bellow is pretty much an asshole. It's about time someone said something to him. I'm glad you told him off."

Bruce looked steadily at Lex and waited for him to regain control, to say something. Lex rolled his napkin up, fiddled a bit with his silverware before speaking. Finally he looked into Bruce's eyes. Bruce just waited calmly for him to speak.

"Bellow, Warren, Anders, Brown," was all he said. Bruce nodded. "Don't hurt the rest of them. Please."

Bruce frowned, and Lex looked at him.

"Eventually, you'd get caught. Everyone's afraid of you Bruce, but eventually someone would talk. I don't give a shit about them, but I do worry about you." Lex sighed and stood up. "Let's go. We need to talk."

"I don't* want* to talk now," Bruce said, standing also. He colored a little and hoped he didn't sound as much a whiny little kid to everyone else as he did to himself. Lex gave him a look of disgust and shoved his tray at him.

"Then do something really useful," he said, "I'm going to pack, I'll be going home for the weekend." and stalked out of the dining hall.

The rest of the day, Bruce avoided looking at Lex, and Lex burned silently and steadily. Every time he tried to catch Bruce's eyes, the other boy would move out of his line of sight, till Lex exploded and threw a notebook at him. Bruce stood still and let the book hit him in the chest.

"Oh, nice. Mature, that."

Lex stare at him open mouthed for a moment, and then snorted. "Oh, nice, because if there's somethingyou know, it's that violence doesn't solve anything!"

Lex glared at Bruce and Bruce...laughed.

Lex jerked his head up, his lips peeled back in a snarl, and then just as suddenly, his face cleared and he laughed along with Bruce. Bruce warmed, pleased as always when Lex forgave him for being an idiot.

"Bruce, you really are a most enormous idiot. You know this, right?"

Bruce nodded, moved a bit closer to Lex and handed him the notebook and asked, "Should we talk now?"

Lex nearly growled, but then just collapsed on his bed.

"No! No. No. No. No. Too late! Now drop it--"

Bruce stood at Lex's bedside, loomed over him. His hands were tight fists at his side, his brow was furrowed. He radiated tension and unhappiness, though his voice was mild when he spoke.

"Lex."

Bruce was seconds from begging. He knew that at this moment, Lex could make him beg, if he kept pushing him just-that-bit-further.... Bruce could see in Lex's eyes that he knew it too, watched Lex thinking-

"Oh for God's sake, all right, Bruce! Yes, fucking, yes let's talk! What? What do you want to talk about?"

"Your Dad. Abuse, what he does to you--"

"Bruce. Please Listen to me closely-really pay attention to me now." He looked directly in Bruce's eyes, his expression serious and hiding nothing. "There is nothing, nothing going on. I don't know what happened in your life to make you see these-things-in other's lives but my Father loves me, and would never hurt me. Okay, sometime he's heavy- handed; he's got a temper, but it's not like he beats me with a whip or something." He put out a hand and patted Bruce on the arm. "I'm sorry Bruce, I really am."

Bruce was stunned. How did this end up about him? How in the hell could Lex make him the victim here?

Lex stood and held his hand out to Bruce. "You're truly a good friend. I appreciate how much you care."

"Yeah, I'm...have a good time at home. See you Sunday, ok?" Bruce left the room.

Sunday and Bruce was sitting on his bed, not waiting, just relaxed, enjoyed the quiet. Lex was due back soon, and Bruce was working on his project. He began to put it away, looking over newspaper articles from many years ago as he did so. One yellowed article featured a picture of his parents at a charity ball. There were circles round a few faces in the background and some notes on the edges. One day, he knew, all these pieces would come together. Bruce didn't mind waiting and he didn't mind the work. This was something that needed to be done right and he had a lot of time.

By the time he had everything neatly tucked away again, Lex was back. He seemed cheerful, which was different for a return from his dad's house. He chatted away as he unpacked and put his things away. He was telling some long incomprehensible story about dinner with his dad's assistant, giggling from time to time, when he stopped and looked confused. Bruce looked over, already a little annoyed by the nearly non-stop noise and atypical behavior from Lex, and saw the kid staring at his suitcase. He looked up at Bruce and grinned as he wobbled a bit.

"Was I packing or unpacking? Oh well." He shoved all of it on to the floor and flopped onto the bed.

Bruce jumped up and grabbed Lex by his shoulders. "You're high!"

"No I'm not, I just took some medicine. I wasn't feeling too good this weekend." He winced when Bruce slid a hand over his face, and frowned.

"You got hit!"

"No I didn't, I fell. Dominic gave me something for the pain is all." He grinned at Bruce again and Bruce could see from this angle that Lex's lip was slightly puffed out, and he had a small bruise on his cheekbone.

Lex glared at him "For shits sake! Don't be so fucking suspicious...I fell, my dad was hardly ever home any way." Lex's eyelids slipped lower, and he yawned. Bruce's hands slid down and came to rest on his stomach. Lex snickered a little and his eyes had a hard time tracking Bruce's face, much to his own amusement.

Bruce sighed and backed off. "Time to go to bed Lex."

"Lex?"

"Hummmm--"

"Are you asleep...."

"Well. No, not now..." He could hear Lex shift in his bed, but with the curtains closed completely the room was so dark he couldn't see much at all.

"Have you ever had sex?" He asked

Silence oozed across the room thick as oil and then Lex replied, "You should know. You watched me get fucked last Wednesday."

Bruce froze from the inside out. He kind of knew that Lex knew but figured they could go through the whole rest of their lives without ever having to mention it.

He coughed, "Yeah, well I meant real sex, not that."

"Bruce, if you come, it's real sex. Trust me." Bruce heard the bed shift again.

"No, I mean, have you ever done it with ...a girl?" Bruce felt a little ashamed for taking advantage of Lex. He could probably get Lex to tell him anything now, messed up as he was.

"No", Lex said. "I've never been fucked in the ass by a girl" Lex snickered when Bruce protested; enjoying his own joke, then spoke again. "Yes. I've had sex with girls and before you ass. I liked it ok, I got off, but it's never been quite as good as with guys. Don't get me wrong, it's good, it's just not really good." He breathed out a thready little giggle and sighed.

"Yeah. Good"

Bruce lay in the dark and thought hard about what Lex had said. He didn't understand it.

"Lex?"

"Jesus Bruce!" Lex replied sleepily. "What now? No I've never had sex with animals or...."

"What does it feel like, sex with guys?"

Quiet-- Bruce thought --Maybe Lex fell asleep and then--

"You want to know what it feels like to be fucked... It's good, it's ...real good. I like the feeling. I like fucking too, but getting it, it's just-good..." Lex's voice dropped deeper, getting slower as he went along, and Bruce knew he'd be sound asleep soon. "The feel of a dick pushing in, the stretchy burning feeling, ummm it's nice... haven't you ever touched yourself?"

Bruce felt like he was on fire, and it was all his own fault. He knew Lex wouldn't be telling him these things if he wasn't doped up, but as the boy went on describing what it felt like, Bruce's hand snaked into his boxers, and he held on to his aching dick as Lex haltingly described getting fucked, Bruce panted and stroked, trying to be quiet as Lex veered off into telling him about the first time he got rimmed. Bruce gave it up and moaned out loud when Lex decided he needed to add sound effects and dialogue. He stuck his fingers in his mouth in an effort to muzzle himself, and wanted to smack himself when he realized he was sucking on them and Lex had moved on to blowjobs.

"You've had a bj before, right," he asked with a loopy slow cheerfulness. He wasn't going to be awake much longer, by the sound of it, but Brucewanted him to stay awake and tell him things.

"Yeah," Bruce replied, "I have..."

"It's like... mmmm", Lex went on as if Bruce hadn't spoken. Bruce thought about that one time he did get it, when Carol-Chrissie- whatshername had sucked him....

He closed his eyes and pictured it again, wow, it'd been a really hot day, so sunny; they must have been crazy to do it out in the open like that, lucky they didn't get caught...

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes and let the sweat run down his neck; he could feel it trickle across his lips. Feel it running into his open mouth when he breathed in sharply. Their world was bright red, behind his closed eyelids it was fire red, and hot, so hot it burned his face, and her mouth around him was hot, wet. Sweat ran down his back, tickling as it ran down his ass and into the cleft.

He jerked forward, pushing a bit more into her mouth. She made a noise and grabbed his ass, her fingers slipping on the sweaty skin, so that they slid between his cheeks. He gasped and thrust again, and she tried to grip harder to keep him in place. Her fingers slipped in deeper and one or two nudged at his hole, almost slipped in and he shook at the sensation. The movement pushed a finger just into the ring of muscle, and a fizzy kind of heat exploded along all his nerves, electric fire raced from his head to his groin and he came so hard, he saw black stars swimming in the red behind his eyelids.

He pulled back, and helped her--Kathleen, to her feet. She smiled at him, gray eyes shining with pleasure and suddenly the sky was gray, and they were standing in the rain on a gray street. Kathleen wore a long black wool coat and her hair was pulled tightly back from her face.

"I don't remember you wearing your hair like that before," Bruce said.

"There's a lot about me you don't remember," she smiled.

Her lips were so red, and her upper lip was a little puffy. He moved toward her, kissed her, and her lips were hot and soft, he sucked at her tongue, at the taste of him still in her, licked the roof of her mouth; stroked over and over. He couldn't get enough, he wanted to taste himself. He got painfully hard again as he kissed and ground against her tight hard body. He grabbed the lapels of her coat to keep her right against him. He shoved his tongue up along the inside of her lip and came away with a metallic taste. She made a little pained noise and he pulled back gasping, "What-"

"It's nothing" she said and grabbed him, squeezing his dick through the fine material. She stared into to his eyes, and jerked him through the cloth. He panted harder and harder, riding her hand, arching against it, he was so close. She leaned her head forward, her breath warm on his chin as she spoke.

"I have a cut on the inside of my lip. It makes my lip swell, she said clearly and her gray eyes locked on his.

Her face became indistinct a blur of pale pink, everything seemed to fuzz out till he was only aware of her hot, hot hand moving on him. And her words, "I cut my lip with my teeth when I was blowing you."

He came like he was dying, like he was never going to come again, and he screamed so loud, but he was screaming Lex's name, so loud that it echoed in his head.

His eyes shot open, Kath's words echoing in his head, "cut my lip...blowing." Bruce stared up into the darkness.

"What am I going to do."? He thought to himself. His chest and throat hurt so badly, he could hardly breathe. "I don't know what to do."

The next few days were painful ones for Bruce. Lex didn't seem to remember anything about that night and Bruce wasn't sure how to bring it up to him.

He was only sure of this: he wanted to be Lex's friend; he wanted to be more than Lex's friend. He wanted Lex not to ever go out with those other guys again... ok, so that wasn't a problem really, they were all pretty much terrified to get anywhere near Lex. Which, in retrospect might have been overkill and when Lex realized what he'd done, he was going to be furious. He'd just have to distract him.

And make him realize that being with Bruce was a very good thing.

Bruce swung his legs over the edge of his bed and tapped his foot against the floor as he thought. He should talk to him tonight. No, Lex sucked at talking; he should just show him what he meant. Bruce was absolutely sure that that was the right thing to do. --Right then, tonight, I'll show him what he means to me, and later when he knows he loves me, I'll fix that thing with his dad, so he'll never have to worry about him again. --

Suddenly there door slammed open and Lex was standing in front of him, nostrils flared and his teeth bared in a snarl. Bruce took moment to remember with a twinge of regret the quiet mouse like boy he'd first roomed with who had mysteriously been replaced with this young man who was more confident and actually gaining some popularity. Bruce had to admit he was a bit jealous of Lex's growing ability to fit in. He wondered briefly if he could get Lex to teach him the trick, when Lex's considerable wrath broke like a thunderstorm on him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Why! I-I can't get-what did you do? I know you did something!"

Lex was vibrating he was so angry. His cheeks were red and his eyes snapped with fury and Bruce leaned back a bit away from the force of Lex's rage, the first tickling of fear he'd felt since his parents died running up his spine. Until the moment Lex skewered him with his gray icy eyes there was nothing in his life to fear since the worst thing that could happen, did happen, except- right now.

This was bad. This was so very bad.

Lex was yelling at him now. "What kind of sick fuck makes it so I have no one to turn to and calls it helping? Why don't you chain me up in the room here? Explain what the fuck was in your mind when you warned every single fucking person off me! You think that's what-- Caring? It's called stalking!"

Bruce wasn't hearing a thing. His mind was stuck in a frantic loop, lovemelovemelovemeloveme He felt the kid's rage like a living force in the room with them. He desperately tried to diffuse the situation, make Lex come back to him.

"Lex, you're-you're out of control--"

Lex reared back, his gasp of outrage echoed in the room. He swung so fast and so hard, Bruce was taken completely by surprise.

CRACK

His head rocked back and his eyes snapped shut; his body frozen in place. No. There was no way that Lex just hit him. Lex couldn't do that to him.

"Oh, shit! Shit! Bruce..." Lex stared horrified at the huge red patch on Bruce's cheek, the little ribbon of blood that laced his lip and dropped to his knees in front of him. Bruce gulped.[AP1]

"Oh, Bruce I'm so sorry, so sorry! You said that and for a minute, it was my Dad, I just got so angry... " He sounded close to tears and Bruce looked at him and suddenly knew exactly what to say-- I love you Lex, I'll protect you, you'll never have to worry about a thing again. I'm going to save you, I promise-

When he opened his mouth, all that came out was "Why do you need them?"

Lex sighed and leaned his forehead on Bruce's knees.

"You wouldn't understand, Bruce. You don't need things like I do. You don't need people or approval. You just-you just ...are," he said with the ghost of a chuckle.

Bruce reached his hand out and pulled it over Lex's scalp without actually touching him. Lex pulled back with a shaky sigh and missed the movement as Bruce snatched his hand back.

"Bruce, what you did sucked. But, I kind of understand, I'm even kind of flattered that you care so much. Ah, we're leaving tomorrow anyway...promise me next year, no creepy stalker stuff. You're killing what social life I was starting to have, ok?" He managed a full laugh and stood.

Bruce looked up at him and said, "Lex. I love you."

Lex stared at him, expressionless for a moment, then smiled. "Bruce, you are the best. My best friend. I love you, too; without you, I wouldn't have made it through this year. I want to be your roommate next year too, ok?"

Bruce nodded his head, and silently put out his hand for Lex to shake, which he did, clasping it between both of his.

"Really, Bruce, you're a little wacky, but the best friend I've ever had." He looked down and freed his hands. "Even if these are going to be my only dates for a while," he said ruefully. Looking back up, he caught an expression on Bruce's face he took for horror, and apologized. "But that's me, y'know, king of TMI! Now get out for a while, so I can pack, and not think of kicking your ass!"

He smacked Bruce lightly on the shoulder and shoved him toward the door. Bruce hung back a little, and asked Lex with all seriousness if he would be able to call him during the break.

"Of course! I'll be over wanting to kill you by then!" Lex grinned at him.

Bruce followed the paths that would take him out to the school gardens. He remembered the last time he'd been out there. It had been so chilly; tonight it was warm, the sky was clear and he could see the little flashes of lightning bugs in the hedges. Watching them dip and dive around the hedges reminded him of a memory Lex had shared with him, how as a little boy he'd catch them and bring them to his mother. Lex described running after them this way and that over the lawn, and his mother had laughed...

Bruce swatted at the lightning bugs as he cut through the hedges. For a moment the desire to catch them all and smash them roared through him. He smiled grimly and kept moving, just moving to be moving-away-- like Lex wanted him to be. He reached the gardens and headed towards the shed. It was quiet. Thank God. Most likely everyone was busy packing, like Lex.

Bruce had packed earlier in the week. Discipline. It really was a valuable attribute; it'd be so much easier if everyone had it. He laughed and thought --When I rule the world... He moved around to the back of the shed where the light wasn't so strong and just stood for a second.

Well. That whole scene in the room couldn't have gone worse if he planned it. He just screwed this whole thing up from start to finish, Lex still wouldn't tell him anything and he didn't seem to hear him when he confessed his feelings...should he have said I'm in love with you instead of just saying 'I love you?' Oh, fuck.

--I used to be smart. What happened to me? Nothing is normal anymore. I don't understand anything, I don't know what's happening and-and-I' m afraid!

He dropped down to the ground and sat with his back against the shed wall. His hands gripped one another, as he wrestled with thoughts that ate away at his center. He felt adrift, disconnected from all the ties he'd built to keep him centered and tethered to his life. Lex had ripped all the knots loose, and glided right past him completely unaware of what he'd done to Bruce.

His head tipped back and he watched fast moving clouds sail across the face of the moon. After a while the moon began to blur and waver and raw sobs tore from his throat. For the last time Bruce cried.

A crunching sound brought him back to himself and he quickly scrubbed his hands across his face. Quiet and then a shape next to him, sliding down the wall to join him.

"I'm afraid," whispered like a breath. "I know. It's just-- I'm afraid." Bruce turned his head towards Lex. "I know you don't love me. I hope you will one day. But I love-I'm in love with you. Always."

Lex was staring at him, as if he were taking him apart and examining each piece, weighing him. He started to speak, and stopped. Sighed. Started again. Bruce slid his hand into Lex's and sat so still he almost didn't breathe. He could feel something huge and scary coming, --something wicked this way comes, -- he thought.

"When my mother died, I found out I was all alone in the world. I found out that nothing's free, and the price of most things will nearly kill you. And that the price is almost never too much to pay. I found out that you can have anything, if you're ready to give up everything." He looked into Bruce's eyes, his forehead wrinkled with concentration. " Do you understand at all, Bruce?"

Bruce tried to wrap his mind around the concept of loss like that. He really didn't understand. When his parents died, he kept living. He had nothing to give up. No one wanted anything from him, and no one had anything to give him. It hurt, to be alone, a lot sometimes, but there was nothing you could do but keep breathing, and hold close the knowledge that someday, someone was going to have to die. It was only right, a cosmic balance.

But Lex. Lex had just been in the way when the universe slapped out. It wasn't unnatural; it wasn't a crime, it just was. There was no need to right the scales, so what was it that drove him? He looked into the eyes of the only person he loved more than himself and just could not understand.

Lex looked back, and shivered from head to toe. Bruce was...different.

Lex moved his hand from under Bruce's and stroked his jaw, pulled him closer and Bruce's eyes slowly closed, he waited for Lex to touch him, and a breath he was holding slowly slid out into Lex's mouth when he kissed him. It was so soft and Bruce couldn't remember having felt anything so wonderful. His heart jumped in his chest, and it felt a little less tight there. For a moment, all there wasin the world was Bruce and Lex, and it was supposed to be that way.

"Lex. Lex," he gasped, and held onto Lex's hands when he tried to move them.

"Bruce, oh man, that was the wrong thing to do. I'm sorry." He stood. "I'm going back to the room. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking..."

"Wait, let me come with you. I don't want to walk by myself."

"Ok, just, don't talk about this.

"Jesus, Lex! What the hell! Ok, forget it. One more day, Lex, let's not fight."

Lex looked at Bruce in astonishment. "That's what I've been trying to do!" He almost yelled.

Bruce stared. Lex ...was...insane. That's the only way he could make this whole day make sense to him. That or he was trying to drive Bruce insane. God. It was working.

Alfred watched the young man punch the body bag like it deeply personally offended him and sighed to himself. This was really enough now. In the month that Master Bruce had been home from school he refused to socialize with any of the young people in his circle. His young charge alternated between frenetic bouts of deadly activity, or laying like a dead thing on any available flat surface. Time to take the reins and get him sorted out. Should he call Master Lex himself, or talk to young Bruce first?

Bruce felt every punch he slammed into the bag as a grounding sensation. Every blow tied him tighter to his body and just, * here. * His mind had a bad habit of floating back to Lex, and the last year, and especially to the place where Lex-- didn't want-smack-him-didn't want-smack---him...

SMACK

He stopped to wipe the sweat from his face, and saw Alfred staring at him. He had that disapproving look on his face that was there a lot lately. Bruce began to turn away but Alfred cleared his throat. He might as well have yelled at him. Bruce jumped, turned back slowly and sighed. Whatever he'd done, he was in for it now.

He risked a look and, yes. Eyebrow. Crap. Alfred came closer, still silent, and lifted his hand toward Bruce. He looked down, saw that the other was holding a phone.

Bruce took it and looked at Alfred in puzzlement.

"Ye-es?" He waited, phone held between two fingers.

Alfred said, "I believe you know Master Lex's number"

He left Bruce alone again in the gym.

Bruce stared at the phone and suddenly was aware that his hands and arms ached fiercely. He had tried to forget. He really had tried. But now, it was over. He was too tired to pretend it wasn't important anymore. He dropped down to the floor.

And dialed the number.

Bruce blinked, astonished that it had all been so simple, so easy. He was going to see Lex. That was good. Okay, time to pack, and let Alfred know, and maybe bring something with him, a couple of games or that comic the kid liked so much, bet he hadn't had a chance to get any since he was back home...

For moment, Bruce soared high with happiness, glanced around to make sure he was alone, and pumped his fist in the air.

There was Lex, standing in the big glass lobby, and looking a little lost, till he saw Bruce. Bruce stood still and let the moment enfold him. Seeing Lex's face was like coming home. Lex strode over to him, looking strong and confidant as the waif-like expression dissolved and he grabbed Bruce around the waist.

"Lex! Don't try to pick me up, you're gonna hurt yourself!" Bruce laughed.

Lex grinned up into his face.

"Bruce! You can't imagine how good it is to see you! I haven't seen anyone at all since I left school!"

Bruce's joy was a little tempered by the sudden thought that Lex was just happy to see anyone, but he bounced back and smiled as wide as he ever did at Lex.

"Come on, let's get your bags upstairs, and get out of view here." He waved at the guard in the lobby as they made their way to the elevators, the guard waved back in surprise; Bruce figured Lex didn't get many visitors.

Lex chatted as they rode up to the top floor and Bruce let the sound of his voice wash over him. He thought that if there was anything wrong with this whole thing, it was the fact that Lex turned him into an idiot-he managed to shut down all his defenses. Bruce gazed at Lex in fondness, and Lex became aware that he was the only one rattling on.

"Well" he said, ears turning pink, "I guess I was really looking forward to talking to you...it's been a little lonely since I've been home. My dad's not here, off on a trip overseas...business he couldn't get out of or he'd love to be here with me-us."Lex stared at the floor the entire time he spoke.

"Why didn't you stay at school?? Lots of kids do-have to," Bruce asked.

"My dad wanted me home." Lex unlocked the doors to the apartment and pulled Bruce's bags into the foyer

"Does he know that I'm-that you have company?" Bruce glanced about the foyer in approval. ---Nice, clean lines, not a lot of crap around...a small part of him approved that there wasn't anything to hide behind. .

"Oh yes, I told him, asked permission and he was fine with it," Lex frowned slightly. "Especially when he knew it was you, he thinks you have a fine background," Lex chuckled lightly. "He was happy to have you as a guest, he said so."

Bruce didn't say any more, just followed Lex into a truly impressive living space. Light flooded the apartment from a wall of floor to ceiling windows, reflected off the stark white walls opposite them. The whole apartment had been decorated in creams and white, there was so much light that no corner was shadowed.

"Wow!" Bruce said. "It's -very bright. It's nice, though..."

"I know." Lex said. "Every time I come home, I have to get used to it all over again. It's kind of pretentious, I think."

Bruce snorted and Lex smiled. Right back to the way it used to be...good.

After he'd put his bags in the room Lex told him was his for the next two weeks, he met him again in the living room.

"Bruce, if you're ready to eat, we can have lunch on the patio."

Lex waved vaguely in the direction of a pair of stained glass doors at the opposite end of the room and Bruce followed him out to a surprisingly large patio area .It was a series of wood platforms of varying height, laid out in rectangular fashion, almost oriental in feel, some only large enough for a single lounge chair, others large enough for tables and chairs. There were raised planters filled with greenery, or dwarf fruit trees, even low planters filled with sod. Over head a freestanding framework supported panels of canvas and provided a pool of cool shade. Lights wrapped around each of the beams. Bruce turned in a circle taking it all in. It looked rather magical, like a secret garden in the city. Lex watched his face and glowed with the pleasure he took in Bruce's pleasure.

"Do you like it?" He continued at Bruce's nod, "My dad had it built for me."

Bruce was startled. He couldn't imagine that Lionel would do anything so nice for his son. It didn't seem to be the type of thing the man would do. Bruce had been willing to bet his mother had commissioned the work. Lex continued as they made their way to a small deck that had a table set for lunch.

"I came home one summer and it was like this. It's so nice; you know I don't go out when he's not home. It's cool to sunbathe, and there's a shower at the end over there. We cant' have a pool up here. But, the shower's nice when it's hot ..."

He trailed off as he examined what they'd been given for lunch.

"So. Do you like it?"

His eyes bored into Bruce's asking for...approval? Something Bruce wasn't quite sure of shone out of the kid's eyes, so he smiled and assured him it was an amazing place, and truth, Bruce enjoyed it all, the lunch, the patio, Lex's pride in his garden.

The afternoon went by so quickly they barely noticed the shadows getting longer and the air a little cooler till the patio lights glimmered on, and a cart was brought out, with dinner for the two.

Bruce sat back and just-looked. The change of light cast blue shadows across Lex's smooth face and scalp. Made his gray eyes bluer. Once again, he looked otherworldly, like he had that night in the room, and Bruce could feel a little lick of arousal. He hoped that the staff left at night, he wanted to be alone with Lex. A roll of heat swept through him as he imagined what it would be like, just the two of them in the apartment, no one to bother them-maybe he could break down Lex's resistance to him. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair and Lex looked concerned. "You aren't cold are you? I can turn on the heater--" His phone rang .He looked at Bruce in surprise, answered it and went very still. "Yes. Yes. Thank you. Of course." Lex closed his eyes. "I'll be waiting."

His eyes were still closed when he answered Bruce's unspoken question.

"My dad. He's coming home." He chuckled thinly and opened his eyes-- stared into Bruce's. "Isn't that great?"

Bruce was so bitterly disappointed that for a moment his eyes prickled before he regained control.

"Oh." He couldn't bring himself to speak more. He really really hated Lionel Luthor above almost anything at that moment.

The next day was ...strange.

Lex bounced back and forth between a cheerful sort of mania and occasional zone-outs. Bruce found himself trying to fix it, with words and activities but Lex refused to leave the apartment, claiming his dad would be upset if he wasn't in and every time Bruce suggested something it simply wound him up more and more. Finally Bruce grabbed him by an arm and drug him out on the patio, plopped him in a chair, and glared at him.

He blew the fan of hair that had fallen across his eyes back and crossed his arms over his chest tightly to keep from touching Lex. He was upset and angry with him and his lack of control. Lex looked up at him, startled by Bruce's behavior, and suddenly doubled over with laughter.

"What?" Bruce snarled. He wasn't in the mood for laughs at this point.

"Man, Bruce-- you look just like a mother hen. A really mad mother hen." Lex chuckled to himself when Bruce wouldn't join in the laugh." "Well, it's cute ..." He slid a little lower in his chair and ghosted a hand up the inside of his leg to his chest. He looked at Bruce, gauging his reaction.

Bruce sighed. Shit, here we go again, Mr. Manipulative. He hated when Lex became that other person. He walked out to the deck farthest away, and sat with his back to him. How could he want to hurt him that way-

Lionel's assistant appeared at the doors and called out to Lex. Lex got up and left without a word to Bruce, just carefully shut the door behind him.

Bruce sat for a long while on the patio, but Lex didn't return. Bruce had enough time to memorize the brick pattern on the patio floor, and observe that as the sun moved across the patio, it created shadows that were really beautiful.

He was going to loose his mind if Lex didn't come back for him soon.

He stood finally, stretched to loosen up stiff muscles and walked back to the doors. As he opened one, Lex staggered through.

"Lex! Hey!"

He jumped back and Lex fell over the threshold onto his knees. He looked up at Bruce and choked back a laugh, it bubbled out again and he clamped his hand over his mouth. Bruce prayed for strength.

"What are you doing, kid," he sighed. "What are you in to now?"

Lex shrugged and grinned up at him. "I was a little upset, and I took something to calm me down...'s ok, it's prescription. My friend gave it to me.... I loo-ove him. Did I tell you that?"

Bruce was completely baffled. What could in the hell did the kid take to make him this loopy? He dragged him to his feet and pulled him into the apartment and into the bedroom Lex had set him up in.

The whole time Lex was limp as a rag and laughing quietly to himself and in general making it as hard as possible for Bruce to move him. He was crooning something under his breath the whole time, and Bruce leaned down so he could hear him.

"Dommie is my friend, he's my friend...Donomi-Domino-Bruce!"

Lex looked completely surprised to see him, his eyes opened comically wide, his lips a perfect O. Bruce felt almost schizophrenic as one part of him seethed with fury at Lex and that fucking jerk of an aide or whatever he was-spy most like for the old man! -- And another part couldn't stop thinking how sweet Lex looked, almost like a little kid, if you ignored the fact that his eyes were glassy and the pupils were huge and black with just a rim of color around the edges, and Bruce saw now that he was flushed, and his cheek was red-scraped?

Bruce twisted Lex around till he got him aimed toward the bed and shoved lightly. He might as well have picked him up and tossed him- he flew into the bed, giggling away, and landed in a boneless heap on it. He looked over his shoulder at Bruce and his words poured out like molasses, thick and slow.

"Bruce, if you want to, you can fuck me."

He went up to the bed, leaned down and rolled Lex over, put one large hand in the middle of his chest and pressed down.

"You need to sleep."

"Yee-ees. I know! With you! I know you want me-want me?" His voice dropped down to a raspy whisper "I'm veeery good, you know. I've been told--"He stopped and grimaced. "Bruuuce. Stop moving the bed."

"I swear, if you throw up on my bed, you're changing the sheets." Bruce growled.

That seemed to be a trigger to Lex, he burst into motion, determined to escape the hand pinning him to the bed. He wiggled and bucked, giggled the whole time. Bruce didn't think he could get angrier, but he found it was indeed possible. He tried to keep Lex from swarming out of the bed, tried to hold him without hurting him. Lex felt no such constraint; it was as if he'd grown a dozen legs and arms and most of them seemed duty bound to make contact with his crotch, at high speed.

Finally he slowed, and dropped off to sleep with a wistful smile on his lips. Bruce stared down at Lex and sighed. He dropped down on his knees at the side of the bed and leaned close, letting their breaths mingle. He moved closer, closer till he touched Lex's lips, closed his eyes and wished desperately that he could touch more.

Bruce backed out of the room, arousal warring with anger and...sadness. How could anyone live their lives like this? And now, he knew...he'd been wrong to pin this on Lionel. His aide was the son of a bitch who was raping his friend. It was time for justice on a cosmic scale if he could help it.

He moved so fast it was as if he floated down the hallway to the small bedroom that Dominic had for nights that he's be working very late-he kept his own apartment in the city. Bruce was satisfied to find he was still there. He could hear music playing low, and the sound of water; Bruce eased the door open and slipped inside, sat in a chair by the bed and waited for Dominic to come out of the shower.

Dominic stepped through the doorway scrubbing at his neck and shoulders with a towel in one hand and holding the one around his waist with the other. He hummed to himself and turned to toss the wet towel on the bed.

"Holy shit!" He jumped back, wide-eyed. "What the fuck are you doing in here," he yelled.

"Tell me what Lex took."

He watched Dominic's face as several different emotions slid across his face; anger, worry, a lick of fear, and finally, amusement. He dragged a hand through his hair and smiled nastily.

"Wait, don't tell me, your little pal sent you, hunh? You want a bit too, humm. Well, you have to pay for it, boy."

"I want to know what Lex took." Bruce stood and jammed his hands in his pockets, trying to keep them from shaking.

Dominic smiled. "Nothing much. It was just some codeine. No big deal." He crossed to the closet and rummaged about. "What, you want some too, little boy? I don't mind. You can pay me any way you want."

He started to turn around, but Bruce shoved him into the doorframe.

"Stop it, you little fuck. What's wrong with you-ow!"

Bruce twisted Dominic's arm behind him, twisted it up and lifted him to his toes, shoved him forward till he gasped for air as Bruce ground him against the doorframe. Bruce trembled from head to toe. This was it, what he was born for. Making something wrong become right. Here was an evil he could stop. He growled into Dominic's ear.

"You sick mother-fucker. He's a kid, you bastard, how could you do that?"

"He asked me! I didn't start it; I swear to God, he started it!" Dominic's voice climbed higher as Bruce twisted a bit more, ground a little harder.

"How long? How long have you been-been messing him up?"

"Christ! Aah-- I told you, he wanted the painkiller, and I told him he had to do something for them. He gets everything handed to him! Everything his way, Lionel just gives it to him, he has to learn, --ah, shit! -- nothing's free. He ought to thank me for the lesson!"

He gave a breathy little scream as Bruce levered his arm up again and jammed his knee behind Dominic's. The young man hung stretched between Bruce's hand and Bruce's knee, unable to move without flooding his body with pain.

"I think you've been teaching him that lesson for a long time. I think you raped him, I think you still do it...how--"

"*NO! * No, I didn't, I don't...he gave me a hand job, ok? That's all. That's it I swear to god, I fucking swear," he rasped and shook, sweat beaded at his hairline and ran into his eyes.

Bruce eased up; let the man drop. Bruce stepped back, shaking in reaction himself.

"Don't give him anything, not ever again."

"But...I-ok." He dropped to the floor, and tried to calm the muscle jerking in his shoulder.

Bruce started for the door, but stopped when Dominic spoke again.

"Look," he began shakily. "I'm not the brat's friend, but I'm not his enemy either. Not everything is as simple as you want it to be, kid."

Bruce shut the door on him and walked slowly down the hall towards his room. He felt sticky, dirty; his mind kept throwing up horrible pictures. He didn't need to grow up with parents to know what was right and what was wrong-why couldn't these people see that? It was like being stuck in a funhouse mirror, only without the fun, and all the mirrors reflected back nightmare visions.

When he finally got to the door to his room, he leaned his head against the cool wood and tried to still the shakes that still ran through him, His stomach roiled as the muscles slowly relaxed. He swallowed against a rush of saliva, and a tiny voice in his head asked him over and over, did you like that, and yes, he had.

A little.

Just a little.

Ah, thank god, he's asleep, I don't think I could deal with him right now, Bruce thought. He sank down on the carpet next to the bed, and leaned his head against the side. I seem to be in this position a lot, he thought. Always sitting by his bed. Like his faithful goddamn dog! I should just get the fuck in it. He thought bitterly. He came on to me, again and I bet anything, tomorrow he acts like it never happened. Again.

He stood, undressed and threw his clothes on the floor, no folding, no hanging, no putting them in the closet. He kicked the pile of material viciously and itched to pick something up and smash it.

He yanked the covers back Oh, please get comfortable, hog the whole bed and almost jumped into the bed when he saw that Lex was nude.

Nude.

Splayed across the bed on his stomach. Nude. Bruce really wished he could cry or scream, or break something. A lot of somethings. Was he working off some horrible karmic debt? Why did these things keep happening to him? He always tried so hard to do the right thing and what happened? Lex got high, freaked because his father was coming, got into that awful corner he got into at these times, and pushed and pushed... Bruce was just human.

He got into the bed.

As soon as the bed dipped Lex moaned and moved away, just a little but it was as if he were trying to shrink himself even in his sleep. Bruce nudged him over some, and he rolled onto his back and slightly away, but didn't wake at all. Bruce poked him, gently at first, then harder, but Lex didn't respond; he slept on.

And Bruce looked.

And looked at him, memorized every line and curve of his face, the line of his neck, his shoulders, Bruce took it in and reached out a finger, light as a feather he traced the curve of his ear and ran it down his shoulder, his ribs, his hips...it stuttered and stopped when he got to the ridge of muscle at the top of his thigh. Bruce was breathing heavier by that point, he licked his dry lips over and over, he was so hard already; Lex was asleep and besides, he'd offered before so it wasn't wrong to touch him like this, right? He pulled his finger around to his belly, and slowly, slowly moved it down. His heart was pounding so hard he almost expected to hear it, he struggled not to breathe too loud and then he touched him.

Touched his--dick, ohshitohshitohshit what am I doing, oh it's so warm, feels like velvet--he stroked lightly, savoring the feel; his breath caught when it began to fill and move against his fingers. He snatched his hand back, his face flaming.

--Oh god help me-

He turned away from Lex and shuddered, lay on his side with his hand on himself and for the millionth time jerked off to thoughts of Lex. He struggled to keep from moving too much, and it just seemed to make it even more intense. He dragged his hand back and forth and wished so hard that it was Lex's that it made him groan out loud, the force of his longing like a physical weight crushing him. Finally he couldn't stop his hips from moving, he lifted slightly from the bed and bit his lip to keep quiet as his dick jerked and jerked and flooded his hand, and then he heard a gasp and whipped his head around to stare right in Lex's wide eyes.

Oh fuck me.

"Bruce...Bruce-are you ok? What--"Lex was so confused that Bruce thought he'd manage it, actually get away with it.

--Which is exactly my problem--, he thought to himself. --Always hoping for the impossible--

Lex looked down, took in Bruce's hand, what was in his hand, and looked back at Bruce. His lips twisted and he asked him, "Have fun? Or is this your idea of a seduction."

Bruce reared back and tried to scramble out of the bed, but Lex stopped him. "Oh no, Bruce, go ahead, take what you wanted, I'm up now. I'm sure I can do so much better."

He ran his hand over Bruce's and Bruce hissed. His hand was wet, and Lex's hand was on it, and his dick was surely possessed because it was doing it's best to come back to life. Lex reached up and grabbed a handful of hair, and yanked Bruce closer. Before he could react to the pain, Lex's lips were on his, they pressed down so hard on his, that he felt trapped; Lex ground Bruce's lips against his teeth 'till blood ran in both their mouths.

Bruce closed his eyes and let it happen, he deserved it, he knew he deserved it; what he'd done was wrong...

Lex shifted closer and squeezed his hand over Bruce's then nudged it aside and wrapped his hand around Bruce. He drew it up his dick in a loose hold first, just feeling it, learning it. His fingers fanned out, wrapped around the head and pressed lightly, he drew his fingers up and down and around the crown, caught precome that gathered at the tip and rubbed it into the skin, around the head and back down to the base, scratched his nails lightly through the curls there. Lex increased the pressure on the upstroke, made Bruce buck into his fist, and all the while licking, sucking, biting at Bruce's mouth till the pain became part of him, something he couldn't imagine living without.

He felt faint-his head swam and he thought this must be what it's like to drown. He knew that he should stop Lex, but god, he'd waited for so long, wanted it for so long- He began to moan in Lex's mouth, out loud when Lex pulled back to watch his face, moaned half in excitement and half in pain.

Finally he reached out and grabbed Lex's wrist, stopped the movement.

"I don't want it to be like this", he groaned. "I wanted you to want me, not punish me..."

"Let go, Bruce, I do want to--" He took Bruce's free hand and laid it against his dick. "I want to."

Bruce shuddered. Now. Nothing could stop this now, nothing could change this moment, he was taking what he could get, he was taking this, fuck...

Knock.
A knock at the door.

Bruce grabbed at Lex frantically whispered wildly, "No-no-no-- don't answer, don't answer!" Lex pulled away, staring into Bruce's eyes, but so distant in tone and expression, that he might as well not be there-

"Yes?"

"Your father's coming in. He wants me to pick him up. Get ready, Cook's coming back in."

"I'll be ready."

He looked at Bruce again, seemed to refocus on him and smiled sweetly. "My father's coming home. I've got to get ready." He rose and went to the door, saying softly before he shut it, "You should get ready too, Bruce, he'll want to meet you, I'm sure."

Bruce lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. His eyes burned, his lungs burned, his gut burned and his teeth clenched so hard he could hear them grinding. Blood ran down his throat from his lacerated lip, and he finished him self off, hard and fast and picturing bruises, picturing Lex.

Bruce was showered, dressed again and sitting in his room when there was a soft knock at the door. He went to answer it, expecting Lex, but was surprised to see Dominic standing in the hall.

"Lex and his father are waiting for you in the dining room," he said.

"Ok." Bruce slid past Dominic who made no effort to move out of Bruce's way.

"Listen, you need to watch yourself with the old man. He's sharp, sharper than you can imagine, and by the time you say two words, he'll know all about you. I mean all about you."

Bruce hesitated, turned to examine Dominic.

"Why are you telling me this? Because-- what? We're such good friends? Bonded over a threat, did we?"

"I'm telling you this because I'm feeling generous, so I'm handing out more lessons today. Some day, you're going to be living in their world, and by their rules. Right now you have a sort of-- freedom, believe it or not-- because of your age. One day, though, they'll get you. And just the way Lionel does, they'll use everything you hold precious as leverage against you. I know. Lex knows. That's what life is like up here." He laughed at the confused expression on Bruce's face. "Go. They're waiting for you. And don't look at Lex."

"What?" Bruce felt more and more like he's stepped through the looking glass, --is everyone screwy around here? What the fuck is he really talking about? --

"Right now, you can't hide it. How you feel. Maybe later. Don't look at him around Lionel. It's the best you can do."

"I thought you didn't like him-Lex I mean." Dominic's sudden concern for the both of them made Bruce more than a little nervous.

"I never said that. Lex, he hates me. He can barely stand me-it's kind of funny, really." Dominic smiled at Bruce with no trace of warmth or real amusement. "He needs me though. Like I said, I'm not his friend, but I'm not his enemy either. You, you get to be his friend. He reached out to you when...Heh. Well. Gotta go. Enjoy dinner, or whatever the hell you want to call it at this hour of the night."

He laughed again, and picked up a bag that Bruce had missed seeing before. At his look Dominic said, "Going home. No more babysitting duty till Father leaves."

He gave Bruce a sardonic little wave and left him standing in the hall, alone.

--Well thanks, if I was nervous before I'm about to have a hear attack now, -- Bruce thought. --Oh well, he probably won't kill me. Right? -

The dining room shone with candlelight and the muted glow of a pair of buffet lamps; the warm golden glow was reflected in strategically placed mirrors and made the small crystal chandelier over the table sparkle. The effect was intimate and cozy. It was a small space, obviously not meant to be a space for entertaining. The two sat at a round table covered with a creamy linen that fell to the floor. Lex looked stiff on his upholstered dining chair, while Lionel looked totally relaxed and his face was wreathed with a warm and inviting smile. The candlelight made him look striking, he was tanned and fit looking, with shoulder length dark hair and neat beard, he radiated health and confidence. Lex looked wan and alien sitting next to him.

Bruce was overwhelmed by the man's sheer presence and found himself smiling back until he went to shake Lionel's hand and saw that the smile did nothing to light the man's eyes. Bruce was certain that sharks had eyes like that and he fought to keep it from showing on his face. He didn't need Dominic's advice to know that would be a fatal mistake. Lex smiled at him also, coolly, faintly interested, while Bruce seated himself. He tossed Lex a quick smile and tried not to make eye contact. Just touching Lionel had raised a kind of superstitious dread in his mind, he was afraid that Lionel would be able to see what he felt without looking, and he suppressed a little shiver.

The rest of the meal was a slow relaxed affair, despite the formal setting. Bruce was astonished to be served wine with his meal; Lionel was very free with it, and seemed to get great pleasure out of giving Bruce a little lesson in the history of this particular vintage and wine in general. Bruce found the sound of his voice mesmerizing, he found himself nodding along whenever the man spoke to him; it was as if his voice wove a spell over the table. Bruce found himself speaking freely about school, his habits at home and by the end of the meal Lionel certainly had a good basic knowledge of young Bruce Wayne.

--Shit. I'm drunk...tipsy, something---damn. I'm blabbing like a girl-- Bruce made a real effort to regain control. --I-- I don't like this, how does Lex stand it-got to get it together....

Bruce was almost pitifully grateful for the strong European style coffee that followed, and took a look at Lex over the rim of his cup.

Lex looked relaxed, totally relaxed now. He was leaning back a little against the high back of the chair, but his eyes were wide and glittered in the candlelight. His fingers loosely circled the cup in front of him, and occasionally tapped the side. Bruce couldn't stop looking at his fingers, even as the young aide's words echoed in his head, he couldn't stop looking at the elegant perfect fingers stroking the china, he felt it on his own flesh when Lex circled the rim of his cup with one finger, and finally closed his eyes when Lex stroked that finger across his lips, seemingly unaware of the effect it was having.

He looked over at Lionel, who was watching Lex also, but seemed to know the moment Bruce looked his way, he turned and smiled at Bruce, his cold eyes skating over Bruce's face, seeking out every bit of information he could glean from him.

Bruce felt...defeated. He'd lost a battle he didn't even know had started.

Lex rose. "Well, I'm very tired. It's been a long day, I think for all of us. Bruce?"

Bruce's head snapped back to Lex, almost surprised to hear his voice, he'd been so focused on Lionel. "Oh, yeah, I'm -I'm coming." He rose also, and hesitated, before thanking Lionel for dinner.

"Nonsense, dear boy. I already think of you as family, and there's no need to thank me for something as simple as a meal," he chuckled.

Bruce followed Lex, his thoughts wrapped around the battle raging in his head. When he got to the door to his room, he stopped Lex with a hand on his arm.

"God, I'm sorry, I am so sorry--"

Lex shook his hand off in irritation. "Bruce, what the hell are you babbling about, lie down and sleep off the wine; you'll feel better in a bit, ok?"

Before he could leave Bruce snaked a hand out, pulled Lex in to him and kissed him, a quick messy thing that made Lex groan, and pull away with a jerk.

"Stop, I'll talk to you tomorrow, ok?"

Bruce nodded, feeling like a chastised child. He was drunk a bit and exhausted and more than ready to give up thinking for a while.

Something's happening, Bruce, and you need to get up right now.

Bruce groaned and tried to sink deeper into sleep.

The bad man's coming, he'scoming,he'scoming,he'scominMommyMommy CRACK.CRACK....

Bruce shot up out of sleep, his mouth open wide and ready to scream, in the same instant he knew he'd been dreaming, and now he was wide awake.

He shuddered from head to toe; it had been horrible. He never dreamt of that night anymore and he was rocked to his core by the vividness of the dream. He'd really forgotten how terrible it could be. He was awash in an agonizing sense of loss, his only thought was to get to Lex, Lex would hold him for a bit, he knew, if he told him what was wrong, he would.

He got up and made his way out of the dark bedroom, padded down the hall to Lex's room, trailing his hand along the wall to keep his bearings in the near total darkness. The sliver of light from Lex's open door blazed in the darkness, and the awful feeling of fear was back with him. He crept closer, some instinct telling him to be so quiet, and he heard-he wasn't sure at first, noises, voices, someone was crying, sobbing...

"Lex" the voice was so...it was his dad's voice; Lex's dad was in his room-talking to him.

"You know I love you, you want to be a good boy...yes, you do. I love you, more than you know. Only I could love you like this, no one else..."

Bruce strained to hear the other sound, he strained to hear Lex speaking, but it was just a low keening noise that raised the hairs on the back of his neck.

"Shh, of course he thinks you're a freak, I saw that in his face tonight. Has he ever spoken to you about it? Ever told you how beautiful you are, touched you here... or here? No. No one will."

Bruce shook as the keening rose weakly, becoming less human sounding.

"Here, put your-- yes, that's good, that's right, you're so beautiful, so special, you must be protected. I'll always keep you safe...you'll always be mine, no matter what you do... it's always forgiven--"

Bruce's stomach twisted, and he could feel his dinner rushing up. There were wet noises, noises coming from the room, and terrible sounds that shouldn't be coming from that room, not at all, --that shouldn't happen-- his mind was screaming at him --Stop, stop --but his body dragged him to the doorway, and he looked into the sliver of light.

And died a little.

Again, again and again...

And he was in his room, heaving, and looking in puzzlement at his hands, they were full of vomit, --when did that happen-- and he hunched forward and gagged again, but it was nearly silent. He'd been quiet as death the whole time.

--Quiet as death. Quiet as death. Quiet. I wish...I wish I were dead. If I were dead, this would all be over....

Bruce ran into the bathroom and hung over the toilet, waiting, but nothing came up. He rinsed his hands, and washed his face. He ran water through his hair, and combed it back off his forehead. He got out his toothbrush and carefully applied a strip of paste dead center on the head and thoroughly brushed his teeth, rinsed once, twice, and leaned over and threw up in the toilet.

He sank to the floor and leaned his head against the cool tiled wall, and worked hard to clear his mind

-- I need some sort of meditation thingy, some mantra, or whatever, however that works. Why can't I be really drunk? God, I wish I were unconscious....

At some point he must have fallen asleep; he swam slowly up to awareness, and it frightened him, --what was wrong, why was it taking so long to come awake- He felt himself led to the bed, and a cool cloth swiped at his lips and neck, and chest-it made him feel better, and he realized it was Lex, Lex was crooning something the whole time, it was soothing, and Bruce felt his eyelids flutter shut again. The bed sank a bit, and he felt warm lips on his, they were so soft, and they trembled lightly on his mouth, and he raised his hand to Lex's beautiful head, pulled him closer.

Even as he drew Lex closer to him, his eyes got heavier and his hands felt like they were made of lead, his whole body was sinking, sliding away into darkness...

When morning came, he tried his best to believe that what had happened was a horrible dream, pretty much believed it until he walked out into the bright sunny living room, and saw Lionel and Lex sitting side by side on the sofa, a newspaper spread between them and on the floor. Two cups of coffee steamed gently on the table in front of them, along with a plate of pastries. It was the perfect picture of domesticity.

Lionel looked up and smiled at Bruce. Lex barely glanced at him.

"Ah, Bruce! Finally up, hmm? Lex wanted to wake you, but I insisted he let you sleep. Not used to the late night meal, and the wine, eh?" Lionel's eyes sparkled as he spoke, and Bruce felt about five years old. He stole a look at Lex, but he stared down at the paper, his face an unreadable mask. Bruce's stomach dropped when he noticed a bruise and a little red crescent above the hinge of Lex's jaw.

"I-I'm gonna go to the kitchen...see if--" Bruce's voice rasped into silence, his throat and mouth were so dry he couldn't speak.

"Of course. Have Cook make a little something for you...be careful though, your stomach may be a little sensitive!" He chuckled warmly and Bruce fled the room, stopping just outside the doorway to breathe again when he heard them speak.

"You like him... it's alright to answer me."

"He's my friend."

"Ah? And..."

"Ow. Nothing. Stop." Bruce's body vibrated with the desire to rush back into the room. The dead tone that Lex spoke in made him frantic.

"You can tell me anything. You know that don't you?"

"Ah-stop. He-he scares me." Bruce's head dropped, and he closed his eyes. He could hear Lionel as he turned to walk back down the hallway.

"Good... Good, you're a good boy, Lex."

He was lying on his bed, eyes closed and mind fiercely blanked. There was a rap on the door, and Lex poked his head in.

"Bruce, can I come in?"

"NO! Yes-yes. Come in."

Lex came in and made his way around the edges of the room, till he came to a chair in the corner, and sat. They just stared at each other for a while, no one spoke or moved till Bruce asked. "So, you- are you ok?"

Lex looked down at his feet, and fidgeted with an invisible piece of fuzz, and spoke low and expressionless. "Of course. Why shouldn't I--"

Bruce was on him instantly, snarling with rage, one hand shoved him back in the chair hard enough to smack his head against the wall, the other twisted in his shirt.

"Stop! Get off!" Lex was bright red, and his voice wavered.

Bruce shook him and hissed in his face," Why? Why do you let him do it?"

"What the hell are you talking--"

"I was there, I saw-" He shook him again, "Everything. Every-fucking- thing, you hear me?"

Lex was white, his lips paler as he bit at them; he seemed to shrink in Bruce's grip. "I have to-he needs--"

Bruce yelled, "WHAT!" He started to drag Lex out of the chair when he suddenly exploded, struggled like a mad thing to get loose; he jerked and flailed out and struck Bruce in the face.

"SHIT!"

He tried to grab Lex's arm, but this time the strike was purposeful; his fist cracked against Bruce's cheekbone.

He saw stars for a second, and his head swam.

"God dammit Lex!" He backhanded the other boy hard; he hit the chair and went over the back. All the fight went out of him; he lay on the floor deflated, motionless.

Bruce dropped to his knees and grabbed Lex's shoulders. Lex wouldn't look at him, his eyes were closed and he sighed. "He told me you'd be like this...told me you'd hate me, not understand." His voice got louder, stronger. "He told me you'd hate me. He's right. He's always right."

"I don't hate you, you asshole! I hate him! He's the one to blame! I'd kill him if I could!"

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about! He loves me! He does everything for me!"

Bruce let Lex's words wash over him, and a wave of anger so hot followed, it made him shake. He yanked Lex to his feet by his collar, fisted it tight it till the other turned red, but instead of looking distressed, his lips twisted into a smile. Bruce was way beyond furious, beyond reason. He dragged Lex over to the bed, and threw him down, not letting go of his collar. He leaped up and straddled him, ready to yell some sense into him but when he saw how frightened Lex seemed to be Bruce loosened his grip...and then, he did that...thing again-

He lay back, every inch of him screamed touch me, feel me... he rolled his hips and pushed Bruce forward a bit and before Bruce could stop him, slid his hands up over his thighs and cupped his crotch. Bruce's hands dropped down over Lex's to pull them away, but Lex pressed down in a slow sweep over his dick and Bruce was hard in a moment, he had to push into it, his body was greedy for it.

Shit! He just touches me and I get hard, just this once, just right now, and then we can talk---

"FUCK! Fuck!!" Bruce yelled furious. "Don't fucking do that! Don't touch me like that--"

Lex looked shocked. "But you want it, I can tell-- you've wanted it for a long time, haven't you? Take it, everyone else has!" He made a sound that was supposed to be a laugh.

Bruce leaned over him and said quietly, "Please stop. You're going to make me cry. Or beat you. I can't decide...."

Lex shook all over and closed his eyes.

Bruce folded over him, pressed himself hard against Lex's stomach, and jumped off the bed. Lex made a quiet little sound that hooked right into Bruce's ribcage and he fought with himself not to get back on the bed.

"Lex. I want you. I've hardly wanted anything as much as I want you. I want to keep you safe, protect you, I need to take care of you." He sighed deeply, and felt so ancient and so tired, tired beyond words. "I feel as though it's more important than my own life to sa-help you... but you've got to help yourself too, we need to do this together, ok?"

Lex laughed, "Oh, yes, let's do this together, you want to help me so much, everyone wants to help me. I'm just so fucking lucky. You know what? I think you need to fuck off with your little savior complex and save it for someone who believes in Santa Claus and-and --- thinks Warrior Angel is real and is going to save them some--someday...."

"Hey, are you- ah shit! Don't cry!" Bruce hovered a moment and thought, -- he probably wants to be alone, I'll just leave for a little bit-- and felt like a complete jerk. He climbed back on the bed, pulled Lex into his lap and folded him up in his arms, let him cry, and cry.

It wasn't the discrete little dry sobs he'd heard sometimes in the room late at night. The kid shook and wailed and choked. Bruce was glad the door was shut and Lex was pressed against his chest, it muffled the cries somewhat. His t-shirt was instantly wringing wet, and Lex grabbed handfuls of it to pull Bruce even closer. He was a little afraid of the intensity of Lex's pain, but he stayed put, and rocked him back and forth soundlessly, letting some of the poison leach out of him. Bruce realized that Lex probably never really cried, probably hadn't done this in a very long time. He was sure that some people needed this from time to time.

The wailing slowed somewhat, and though he still gasped and sobbed hard enough to shake them both, Lex seemed to be regaining some control. Bruce kissed the top of his head, waited for him to uncoil.

Lex pulled back a bit and sniffed, " Ew."

Bruce looked down-- Jeez, that's a mess. I guess that's love, too--erf...

"Ew is right. Hold up ..."

He leaned back and peeled off his soaking wet T-shirt, used it to mop Lex's face. Lex looked embarrassed, but Bruce tilted his face up and gave him a quick kiss.

"See? That's what I mean. You don' t have to be-just be Lex, that's all. Ok? I swear, I'm going to fix this."

Lex drew in a deep shuddery breath. "Bruce. No matter how we feel, the truth is we're just kids. That's how the world sees us, anyway. What can we do? What resources do we have? I'm not about to run off like some stupid cable movie, ok? We have no money that belongs to us yet, and our names won't get us anything but trouble..."

"I have something no one else in the world has, so you let me worry about what we're going to do ok? I'll let you know when the time is right." Bruce was positive he had it right this time. He had better, because he felt like he was running out of time.

Bruce begged off lunch by claiming to be queasy still, and tried to think; tried to organize his thoughts. Together, the only thing Lex and he could do was comfort each other, and that was great, but he wanted to fix this shit. He'd love nothing better than to make Lionel suffer like the rat bastard he was for fucking Lex up so bad, screwing with his head till the kid was afraid to move unless Lionel was there to tell him he could. Why would he lock him away in that apartment, like-like-a jewel, a bird-- oh god... a favorite toy....

Bruce dropped down on the chair, the one he smashed into the wall, and idly noted that it was a little wobbly now, traced his fingertip around and around the arm of the chair and waited for sanity to return. He knew bone deep that if he moved now, he'd kill the man, that he could do it easily, messily and that he would enjoy it completely.

He needed help and needed it now. He went into the closet to get his bag, dug around until he found his phone and just sat on the floor, under the clothes, tossing the phone from hand to hand as he tried to decide what to say.

Alfred, I've never really asked you for anything, and I know I owe you more than I can ever repay, but I'm asking for your help now. Lex and I need your assistance, and I'm sure you have the means to assist us...hmmm, too formal? No, I want to let him know how serious this is, that fucker has a lot of pull in this town he can make us look like we're nuts-Bruce was punching the numbers as he thought, listened to the ring and then-

"Master Bruce? How nice, are you enjoying--"

"Alfred! Alfred! -It's all so fucked up and Lex is-and--and I'm--help me!" Fuck. So much for mature.

"Bruce, Bruce, slow down, tell me, I'll help," Alfred said firmly." Whatever it is, I'll do my best to help, son."

Bruce sighed, feeling a bit of the weight he'd been carrying lifted from him. If there was anyone he could trust in this world, it was Alfred. He would know what to do. God, he hoped it would involve gutting Lionel!

It took a while. There were a lot of questions, and Alfred made him go over parts again, and asked him the same questions in different ways, till Bruce got angry and asked if Alfred believed him or not.

"Bruce, I believe you completely, but I need to know exactly what happened -what is happening with Lex. It's as difficult to hear as it is to tell, believe me." He was quiet for a moment, and then asked, "Can you speak to Dominic?"

" What! About what? That asshole-- Wow. How does he do that eyebrow thing over the phone? Crap. -the jerk didn't do anything to help Lex, he's with-he's doing--"

"Well. He knows what's happening, and I think he'd actually be willing to help. No," he said, cutting off Bruce's protest. "He tried. Not in a way that you or I know is right, but he did try. I'm almost willing to bet that his upbringing probably isn't all that different from Lex's."

"Yeah. So helpful, he gave him drugs, and kept Lionel's secret. He's a great big ass-JERK!"

Bruce could hear the phone shift on Alfred's side, and heard the man sigh. "Bruce, no excuses, but sometimes things are even more convoluted than you think they are. Talk to Dominic, tell him to expect a call from me."

Bruce hesitated, and then asked, "No offense, but why would he accept a call from someone's butler? I'm just saying...."

He was surprised by a warm laugh from the older man.

"Don't worry, Master Bruce. They all know me. They know me quite well."

Bruce hung up thoughtfully and wondered about his "butler." Some day, he'd find out more about him. Today, he was just pathetically grateful he had him.

When Dominic came in that evening, Bruce stopped him in the foyer and silently handed him a note. Dominic looked surprised but he took it, and read it right there. He turned a fierce red, but he just nodded his head without looking at Bruce. He left Bruce standing there and after a moment Lex looked out and saw him.

"Bruce...come out side with me. Please?" Lex looked a little nervous, so Bruce agreed with a smile, and walked out to the patio with Lex.

He did really like the patio. He liked the way Lex looked out here, healthier, not so pale and worried. They walked out to the farthest edge, and Lex turned to him, leaning up against the railing that blocked access to the edge of the roof. Evening sun turned his skin gold and rose--his eyes look blue in this light-- Bruce thought to himself.

Lex smiled at Bruce, the real smile that held hints of self-mockery but also tenderness, a certain sweetness. He was all Bruce could see; he was vaguely aware of plants and the sky and clouds, maybe the breeze that teased his hair and the tails of Lex's shirt, but Lex filled up his sight and his heart. All the world was there in him, in his eyes now dark blue in the fading light, in the upward tilt of his chin, in the smooth roundness of his cheek. Everything that Bruce could ever want was there next to him, smiling up into his eyes.

"Bruce? I am speaking to you-though why I don't know--" Bruce grinned and blushed. And figured there was no save here, he'd been caught being a geek.

"Umm, sorry Lex, you were saying?"

Lex rolled his eyes. "I said, Jerk Off wants to talk to the both of us, when dad goes out tonight." His forehead wrinkled for a moment and he looked up at Bruce. "What do you think he wants?"

"He's going to help us. Alfred told him to. So..." he shrugged and smirked.

Lex stared blankly for a second, and then smiled widely.

"Alfred? Dominic is sooo screwed!" He laughed delightedly, "I can't wait till he gets his hands on Lionel, too!"

His pleased expression dimmed slightly and Bruce immediately leaned forward and cupped his face.

"Baby," he stopped, totally shocked-- Baby? Where the fuck did that come from-- But it felt right, and by the look on Lex's face, it was the right thing to say. "I promise you, things are getting better right now!"

He leaned on the rail next to Lex and inhaled. Whatever was growing in the pots smelled so good, spicy and sweet at once. He closed his eyes and let the feeling of contentment wash over him. "Let's just ...relax for a minute, ok?"

Lex nodded, and laid his hand over Bruce's. Bruce looked down at the one elegant hand laid over his broad one, a sturdy hand, he guessed. Not beautiful, not elegant, but strong. What Lex needed. He smiled at Lex. God, just this moment, he felt ...good.

He heard steps behind them, and turned to face whoever it was. Dominic.

"Well. I called Alfred. He had very.... interesting ideas." He looked distinctly unhappy as he went on to say, "I think one or two of them might work. He's offered to...make sure I don't crash and burn completely, as a result of this." He searched Lex's face, and smiled crookedly. He made a production of pulling a folded square of paper out of his pocket and handed it to Bruce with a flourish. "Take this back. I don't want it on me-and I've got some work to do." He walked away from them, but called back over his shoulder. "It'll hurt a lot more before it gets better. Be prepared."

They watched him walk away, Lex with a sneer that made Bruce shiver, the degree of contempt on his face made him reassess his opinion of Lex as Dominic's victim. Maybe...the reverse was true? He knew that Lex was capable of it. His victimization hadn't made him weak. It didn't seem to have made him particularly compassionate either...

"What a drama queen!" Lex snarled, dismissing Dominic from his thoughts. He turned sharply away, nearly vibrating with annoyance. Bruce looked away, and stared out over the city. Lights were glimmering on in all the buildings as the sky shaded into a deeper purple, and lights bloomed along the decks. It was like standing in the stars...he looked over at Lex and thought and here's my angel-he snorted, shook his head and smiled at Lex's little noise of inquiry. He was about to ask Bruce again what he was thinking, but the playful look vanished; his fathers voice cracked through the air.

"He sounds annoyed "Lex said distractedly. "I'll be right back...." even as he spoke Lex was moving towards the doors.

Bruce grabbed his arm, "Hey! -Remember, it's stopping, right? You don't have to do anything you don't want!" He was practically trotting to keep up with Lex, "He can't make you do that-- Tell him no, lock yourself in my room--please!"

Lex glanced over at Bruce, his expression as puzzled as if he'd been speaking another language.

"I'll be back, later." He murmured and glided through the patio doors. Bruce was devastated. "I don't understand! You don't have to--"

Lionel appeared at the patio doors, reached out to shut them. "We're letting all the cool air out...it's not locked, come in when you're ready." He smiled and put his hand on Lex's shoulder and guided him away.

Bruce stood with his mouth open, gasping for breath. He felt something in his hand and went to toss it, but opened it instead. It was the same paper he'd given to Dominic, the message to call Alfred. There was something added, a few words at the bottom.

Cameras. Tape. Fuck you too

Bruce shocked himself by laughing. He grinned just a little until the words really sank in. Cameras...tape...god. This was more than pain. This was the universe purposefully stirring his brain with a sharp knife. This was the part in which Lex had to offer himself up like a sacrificial lamb in order to try to get free...

Lionel was gone again, out for the evening, Dominic was pacing around the living room and Lex was nowhere to be found. Bruce wanted badly to look for him, but he needed to calm Dominic down before setting in motion the next part of Alfred's plan-and then talk to Lex again, reassure him.

Again.

"He's going to crucify me! He's going to cut me up into bits and scatter me all over the city!" He stopped and ran his hands through his hair, "God, or worse...he's going to send me back home...."

He sounded so forlorn, and Bruce realized that he wasn't really all that much older than they were. He remembered Alfred's words and felt some sympathy for him-some. He still thought he was pretty much an asshole. And there was something about him and Lex...he wanted to get to the bottom of that. The last two days seemed to ratchet that uneasy feeling up to a fever pitch. Maybe it was simple paranoia, maybe the stress was making them all flip out.

"Look, try and get a grip, if Alfred says he can fix it, he'll fix it, ok?" He turned the little package in his hand over and over, handling it like it was poisonous. "This is ...going to help?"

Dominic laughed bitterly. "Yeah, it's going to help. Sure you don't want to watch it-ow!"

Bruce had the man's tie wrapped around his fist, pulled him in face to face, -let everything he was feeling show in his eyes. Dominic went white, and shook his head hard.

"Sorry, sorry! I'm freaked, being an idiot. I'm on that tape too--"

Bruce dropped him like he was hot, whipped his hand away and wiped it on his shirt. "What? Who did you -why?"

"Don't be stupid!" He rasped out, frantically loosening his tie. "I need some protection. If he's going to screw Lionel--"He stopped for a moment "-than I've got to try to cover my ass as much as I can."

He looked over at Bruce and smirked. "You really can't stand me, can you?" He smiled. "You know why? Because we share an obsession. We both want him. I want him so much it makes me-makes me sick. I wish I could die of it some times."

Dominic's eyes were fixed on some distant point and he talked on in a monotone, not really sharing with Bruce; the words were just-falling from his lips.

"When he jerks me-when I can get him to do it," he ignored or possibly didn't even hear Bruce growl possessively, "He stares into my face the whole time. If I close my eyes, he stops until I look at him again-disgust. Contempt. His eyes...it's all in his eyes, how much I disgust him. And when I come, he wipes it on my shirt-on me. I thought once he was going to kiss me-when I leaned forward, he wiped my come on my face."

Bruce backed away from him, feeling light-headed with revulsion. Every muscle twitched in the desire to run, to get away from this- this-horrible mess.

Dominic loved it. He loved his humiliation like a child-he held it close, nurtured it. The father and son fed it for him. He looked at Bruce with a drugged out, dreamy smile on his face for a moment, and than he was back in the present. His eyes hardened again and it was back to business.

Bruce stared at him in horrified fascination. "You are truly a sick fuck...."

"And for that, be thankful, or this? Would never work."

Bruce jerked his head in acknowledgement, he was right, but still, "Why did you let this go on and on--"

"What could I do? Who am I? Five seconds after I told, I'd be in jail for -whatever Lionel could come up with -or in a psych ward...you don't know."

Bruce looked at him, a terrible realization dawning, "You don't want to leave Him either. Jesus, you're a--a fucked up bastard. You drug up the kid you claim to love so he can deal with fu-fucking his-and you want to fuck his fath-Shit! I hate my life right now! * Hate it*!"

"Yeah well, now we're both going to fuck him real hard. And maybe he'll realize that he's not god, and maybe," He laughed shakily, "I can keep my job, and I'll be able to live with whatever punishment he'll dole out. Even I can't imagine what could be worse than this...."

Another too long, miserable, godawful day went by and Bruce was beginning to panic. Alfred hadn't called, not even to acknowledge receipt of the package. Did he get it? Was it lost, someone else have it and looking at those-pictures?

His nervousness made Lex edgy and mean; this was all too much for him to take, the fact he was going against his father was enough to panic him-waiting for the other shoe to drop was stretching his capabilities to the limit. Alfred better get in touch soon.

Dominic was useless. He'd taken to following Lex about the place like a lost dog, and it was making the already high-strung boy even more angry and nervous. Bruce had to get the two apart or there'd be a major meltdown. Thankfully Lionel was totally self-absorbed when Lex was not on his mind. As it was Bruce waited in fear for Lionel to ask Lex what was wrong.

There was no doubt in his mind the kid would cave completely, tell all and beg for forgiveness-what the fuck, he'd lived his life in fear too many years, never knowing what was going to happen and his only constant being "don't leave this place without me," and "you must be a good boy." Bruce prayed that Alfred was going to rescue them soon, before there was nothing left to rescue. He finally cornered Dominic in the kitchen-he was pretty sure that they wouldn't run into either Lionel or Lex in there.

He grabbed Dominic by the arm and squeezed, shook hard. "Look, you're going to blow all of this if you can't get a grip! Stop being such a puss--" He shook him harder. "You're not losing anything-you didn't * have* anything--"

Dominic's eyes watered and he shuddered violently. His expression was bleak and lost as he nodded. "Ok, ok."

"You alright now? Can you deal?"

"Yes, I've got it now. I've got it-perfectly." He left the kitchen and went directly to his room.

Dinner passed in silence, something totally commanded Lionel's attention, and he had no time for them, thankfully. Lex pushed his food around on his plate till Bruce had to call on reserves of patience he didn't know he had --. For god's sake, eat something, stop trying to starve yourself--. He must have made some sound because Lex actually looked at him with a small guilty smile. When Lionel's cell rang out, both boys jumped.

Lionel looked mildly annoyed as he answered the phone, with a crisp "Yes? Luthor speaking...I beg your pardon? Who!?"

Bruce closed his eyes and fought not to sigh in relief. Pleasebehimpleasebehimpleasebehim

"Pennyworth-how--how dare-what!" He shot to his feet and Lex nearly tumbled out of his chair as he instinctively tried to get away from his father. But Lionel's eyes were fixed on Bruce, drilling into his, his face red and fierce, lips pulled back in a snarl.

"Wait." he demanded. He looked at Bruce as he snapped. "I'm taking this in my office." He strode out of the room leaving Bruce limp with relief and exhaustion, trying to calm Lex, who vibrated with anxiety and fear, giving in totally to the anxiety and heading toward a crash...

"This is it, baby. Sink or swim now. We're in it for all or nothing, I guess." He wrapped his arms around Lex and let him shake and shake against him.

"Well. Hello, Lionel, no, I wouldn't say I'm speaking to you as an equal, we're both aware I'm above you on the social scale...if such a thing were important to me.

I have some interesting items here...interesting photos. Dominic's been busy. And some of your acquaintances can be rather forthcoming when properly stimulated to be so-now, now. A man in your position shouldn't be quite so free with threats, hmmm? Yes, well each remark in that vein convinces me more and more that our actions are morally justifiable. Any man who so abuses his position, and betrays his child in such a way... well.

I'm sure I don't need to describe the photographs to you, suffice to say, they include you, your son, your assistant-while he is legally an adult, that's an abuse of position-oh, it can be spun so, yes. He will be willing given the right motivation.

My good man! That' s anatomically impossible and indicative of your lack of breeding...why yes, I am mocking you.

You've been a busy boy... arranged for an illegal adoption I see here, curious, hmmm... this is interesting--it seems that you acquired your seed money through an insurance policy...my condolences on the untimely death of your parents...a tenement fire -goodness! I thought your forebears were aristocracy-you'll have a stroke going on that way, Lionel.

Let me get to the point. You will never lay your hand on your son again. You will cease to hold him prisoner... agoraphobia, sir, is a lie that may work for the neighbors; I suggest you learn to generate better proof for your lies.

So, to put this in a-nutshell-- let go of Lex and nothing here will ever see the light of day through me. We four are the only ones who have full knowledge of this package. It will be safe, you have my word. Harm in any way Lex, Bruce or Dominic and-- well, I'm sure you understand. I would suggest you do your utmost to make your assistant loyal to you; in the long run it will serve you best.

Consider your self put on notice. Oh, and Lionel? Get out of town. I've decided to come for a visit. And you do not want to see me.

CLICK

As soon as he could, Bruce got Lex into the room, and made him get in his bed. He sat with him for a bit, it wasn't long before he dropped off into sleep. He'd been totally exhausted by the stress. Bruce watched him for a few minutes, then left the room and raced down the hall to Lionel's office.

He stopped and leaned against the wall, listening in on what he could hear. Lionel must have been speaking very low or not at all, because Bruce didn't' t hear a thing, and then- "Fuck you, you limey bastard..." silence, and then, "He's an agoraphobe-what!" a beat then, "How dare you!"

Bruce waited but Lionel didn't speak again. Bruce was about to leave when he heard a musical tinkling, heard it again, a little louder, less musical, and then...a steady, smashing, crashing. It sounded like a tornado was tearing through the room. Bruce's eyes widened as he listened. He felt a little touch of respect. There was some major destruction going on that room, no words either, just a terrific din and a barely heard animal snarling-Lionel had lost every bit of his cool.

Before Bruce could move the door flung wide and Lionel was in the doorway, chest heaving and eyes darting this way and that-the picture of man about to explode. His face was beet red, and his eyes were wild when they lit on Bruce and he launched himself toward him, only to stop and draw back when he saw Bruce smile, and shift on his feet.

Waiting for him.

Lionel's eyes lost some of their madness, cunning reasserted itself. He could see that Bruce was more than prepared for an attack. He looked, really looked at Bruce and a glimmer of fear shifted across his features, and then he smiled. It was an attempt at his usual arrogant, confident smirk, and it slid off his lips almost as soon as he tried it; he whirled back into the room and slammed the door. Bruce slumped against the wall, the adrenaline rush washing out and leaving him feeling a little giddy and weak.

-We won, we won, got to let Lex know, I think we won-

Dominic was coming toward him. The man was terrified, so terrified Bruce could see him shaking and his eyes were so wide a rim of white surrounded his iris'. One part of Bruce clinically observed that Dominic was falling to pieces, --weak-The other part had sympathy for the man's terror. He put out a hand to stop him.

Dominic had to try a time or two before he could get the words out, "Lionel c-called me. He wants to see me, and he sounded so-kind...god. I'm dead. He could get away with killing me, I know it. Who would care or notice." His eyes shimmered with tears.

Bruce poked him hard in the chest. "Get yourself together. It's probably too fucking late to grow a spine, but if you go in there falling apart, he will reduce you to nothing-remember, you're dealing from strength here, you've got all the cards."

Dominic's expression was that of a drowning man catching a lifeline. " Oh...oh-that's-that's true, I do have..."

He straightened, and went into the room without a backward glance.

Bruce watched the door shut behind him --Jesus, he's kibble-

For a long while, he sat by the edge of his bed, reading and watching Lex sleep. He checked the time and saw that an hour had passed and he's heard nothing from Dominic. Better go check on him...

Once again he was outside of Lionel's door, Dominic must still be in there...damn.

What if Lionel really killed him? -Shit, that's stupid-he's just -

The door opened and Dominic backed out slowly, staring into the room and wiping at his face, his mouth. Bruce made a step toward him, thinking that Lionel had hit him, maybe. The door closed and Dominic licked at his fingers, then shoved them into his mouth. Bruce froze and watched the man sucking at his fingers, and when he turned Bruce thought, -- he got beat up-

His hair was plastered down and sticking to his face with sweat, his collar and tie were askew and-buttoned wrong-his gaze wandered all over like he was having a hard time tracking, he looked drugged and when he finally seemed to realize Bruce was there he smiled at him, a lazy bleary-pleased-- smile that contrasted with his beaten look. A ring of bruises was visible in the vee of his loosened collar, and purple marks stretched from jaw to temple on one side of his face. Glazed eyes met Bruce's for a moment and then skittered off as he raised a hand to the print on his face; his fingers trailed lightly across it, and his eyes drifted shut, he swayed a bit still smiling.

With his eyes closed and the little smile bowing his lips, he looked horribly like a renaissance painting of a saint in religious ecstasy...Bruce shivered and moved back. He saw blood, tiny beads of blood in the corners of the man's mouth and smears of blood on his wrists. There were little dots of red on his white shirt, and he was grinning at Bruce, his lip's red, swollen. He giggled and winced. When he moved toward Bruce he staggered a little and giggled again. Bruce was desperately afraid that he was going to touch him and he nearly crashed into the wall trying to avoid him.

Dominic stopped and took a deep shaky breath. "Well. Well...everything worked out the way you wanted it to. You did it-you and your little boyfriend are going to be ok...or as ok as he'll ever be--"

He laughed and Bruce wanted so badly to hit him that his hands shook, but he was afraid to touch him, as if he were an infectious disease-he was horrified by Dominic, repulsed, but some slick little tendril wormed its' way into his gut, twisting and twining and whispering -you want to know, youwantyouwant-and he did, wanted to know what happened; he was afraid of wanting to know. Dominic watched him thinking through narrowed eyes. He smiled a little. -fuck me he knows, he can tell--

"Lionel's leaving tonight. He's no t coming back here again. He left papers for Lex and Alfred to go over -Alfred will tell you what's going to happen now."

Bruce nodded, steadily backing away from Dominic. He wanted to tell him he understood, that he'd let Alfred handle it, but he said, "Is it -always like that? Does he do -that-- to...Lex too?" D
ominic closed his eyes and touched his face again, leaning into his own hand.

"No, not always, not always with Lex, not like this, he can't--"He sighed and focused on Bruce. "I can't explain. It's what you learn, what you get taught. Go to bed, He's going to leave and he doesn't want to see either one of you."

He walked past Bruce and Bruce jerked out of his way, feeling a little sick and scared. What the fuck was he in for now? What did they really fix?

He shook his head as if to clear unwelcome thoughts. When he heard Dominic's door shut he ran down the hall to his room.

He was still yawning when he made his way to the dining room, the shower having done little to wake him up, or by the look on Lex's face, make him presentable...

All other thoughts flew out of his head when he saw Alfred. He ran up to him and threw himself in his lap. Just like he used to do when he was a little kid, and bullies had picked on him, or he'd scraped his knee-and if he was perfectly honest with himself, a tear or two may have escaped his eyes, but he'd rather have died, or made someone else die, than own up to it. Alfred hugged him back, and some of the horrible stress and strain, the nightmare quality of the last few days, finally began to ease. H e could finally believe that things were going to get better.

Lex had jumped up when he saw Bruce throw himself on the man, and was visibly upset when he heard Bruce let out a little sob-he looked as if he wasn't sure if he should join in the hug, or save Bruce from the older man-Alfred let him go and Bruce whirled around and grabbed Lex into a tight hug.

Alfred looked on with a not altogether happy expression.

After a brief bit, Alfred coughed, and the boys turned their attention to him.

"Well, we've succeeded in getting Lionel to agree to our requests." Both the young men grinned at the word 'request'.

"Yes. Well, call it what you will, Lionel has given us everything we wanted. Young Dominic included." He shook his head, and went on. "I wish to speak to each of you separately. You can discuss what I tell you after, but I feel it best to do it this way." He smiled to reassure them. "First, let's eat this really fine breakfast...I must speak to the Cook about coming with us. And where is Dominic?" Alfred asked.

Bruce shrugged. "He's probably sleeping in. It's been hard on him, and Lionel...gave him a real-hard time last night," he finished a bit lamely. He cut his eyes toward Lex and caught him staring a bit open mouthed at Bruce. He flushed pink and jerked his eyes away when he noticed Bruce looking. Alfred sighed, picked up his fork and gestured to the both of them that they should eat also.

"Well. I've spoken to Lex, now it's your turn. I want you to know that for all intents and purposes, Lex is our responsibility now..."

He leaned back in his chair, and looked very tired for a moment, and it occurred to Bruce for the first time that Alfred was mortal, and he was scared, really scared; he had to breathe deeply once or twice before the feeling passed. Alfred was saying something about Lex, but he didn't want to explain why he hadn't heard him or ask him to repeat himself so he just nodded and hoped it was the right response.

"He's a very wounded young man. It might take years for him to fully trust another person. It astonishes me how much he trusts you, and by extension, me."

He shook his head in wonder before continuing.

"The idea of the two of you ...does not fill me with joy." He held up his hand to stop Bruce, who had jumped up with an angry look on his face. "We've always been honest with each other, always told the truth. It's an important part of who we are. I'm not going to start lying to you now. Is this what I would have chosen for you? No. But it's who you are and I respect that."

Bruce sat on the edge of his chair, his forearms resting on his knees and his head hanging down, so Alfred couldn't see his face. His heart hurt, he'd thought that Alfred knew and was fine with it--he'd hoped he might even be happy for him, because his boyfriend was so very beautiful, as beautiful as--as the sun -- Damn. --- He could feel his eyes prickling and he swore he wasn't going to cry like an asshole. He felt movement at his side, and a hand landed softly on the back of his head.

"Here's another truth. I love you, and nothing could ever, * ever* change that. Nothing in the world would ever take me from you, nothing could ever make me not love you, understand?"

Bruce nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

"Since your parents -died, and I've been responsible for you, there's been nothing more important to me then your welfare, your happiness. I hope you know that. Raising a child is hard. Watching them grow away from you is harder but also, wonderful. I'm so very proud of you, Bruce."

Alfred patted his head, spoke quietly. "Bruce, this is not going to get easier. It would be lovely to have a fairy tale ending but Lex is a very troubled young man, and I worry about you. How this is going to affect you. Because it will, you know. The saving grace is that Lex is an unusually strong person. I don't think I've ever met a braver man."

Bruce looked up at Alfred and smiled. Ok. He was on his side and Lex's too. -- One thing at a time. -If he knew Lex, Alfred would be wound around his little finger in no time. He stood up and hugged Alfred hard. "Thank you. Thank you for believing in me."

Alfred stepped back and gave Bruce a look that on him was astonishment. "Why, of course, Master Bruce, why ever would I not?"

Alfred had left the next morning after making arrangements with Dominic to take care of the apartment. They decided he'd let his own place go, and stay there full-time. Lionel had no intention of returning, and in fact had given the apartment to Lex. When he came of age, it would be his. In the meantime, he'd be staying at school and or staying with Bruce and Alfred and that was a condition that Bruce heartily approved of until Alfred brought up the subject of rules...and limitations.

Lex argued vehemently against rules, claiming that at school they were together all the time and he had no plans to be knitting of an evening, but Alfred was firm. This was the way it was going to be, and no amount of pouting on Lex's part would change a thing.

Bruce smiled. Alfred didn't know it but he was lost...Lex would find that little chink in his armor and work his way in-Alfred already knew what cookies were Lex's favorites and was totally under the impression he'd asked for the information.

Before he left, Alfred reminded them to be ready to come home in two days. That would give Lex time to pack up what he wanted, and for Dominic to handle his business. The young man hadn't spoken to either of the boys since the night Lionel left, and seemed to be particularly avoiding Lex. He didn't react at all to Bruce, appearing to have mentally dismissed him entirely. Bruce was completely ok with that-If I never have to deal with that fuck again in this lifetime, that suits me fine, I know he'll never talk to Lex again, as long as I've got something to say about it---

"Lex. Before I go, I want to say something to you. Just a little thing to think about. Your father-well, we spoke of that already. But one thought you might want to keep with you---he sent you away. He kept you at boarding schools, and not necessarily because he didn't want to raise you. He might have been trying to protect you, in his own way...Well. I'm sure I'm saying that badly-I just wanted to--"

Lex cut in. "I think I understand what you're trying to say, Alfred. Thank you." He shook Alfred's hand, and then on impulse, pulled him into a hug. Alfred hugged back, and squeezed his shoulder briefly when he released him, and gave him a little smile.

When Alfred was gone Bruce turned to Lex in astonishment. "Holy fuck! You made him blush! I can't believe it!" He stared at Lex in open admiration. "This? Is going to be so cool! You just broke his British, man!"

Lex looked back, once again in control. He nodded, and said, "He's a remarkable man. You know Bruce, when I rule the world, I want Alfred to be right there with me." Bruce started to laugh, but Lex looked completely serious.

Bruce hesitated, opened his mouth to say -something, till he noticed that Lex's eyes were shining, and he finally broke into a laugh.

"Jeez, Bruce, you're so easy! Idiot!"

Bruce liked the idea that the entire place was theirs for the day. No one but Lex and him and junk food and TV and well, Lex's comics, but ok, he had the TV and whatever he wanted to watch...which at this moment was Lex heading toward the garden shower in -a towel... His mouth was instantly dry, and his mind sent wonderful messages to him.

He ran to the doors and slipped through, padded out to the shower enclosure. He stood outside of the latticework wall and watched as Lex let the water pour over him, gilding him and making him gleam like polished marble. He turned under the shower, arms raised and back arched a bit. The water sprayed away from him in arcs where it hit his body. Bruce inhaled too fast; he had to get closer, and came around the edge, stood in the entryway.

Lex looked at him, blinking away the drops that clung to his eyelashes and he smiled, a bright happy smile that was inviting, open and carrying nothing with it but joy in the moment. He held his arms out to Bruce, and Bruce had to touch his own chest; he thought his heart would stop. Stop because there was no way this life could get better. There was no way he could be happier than to see Lex look at him with eyes shining with-love, something like it anyway. No way in hell was he about to pick it apart. Besides, his dick was telling him to shut the fuck up and get under the water--

He got in, pulled off his tee and kicking his shorts into the corner. He had to get to Lex before he changed his mind. Leaned into him and pressed his lips against Lex's and hummed when Lex kissed back. It was hot---and strangely innocent at the same time.

An armful of naked Lex took his mind to other places quickly, when he felt the heat of his dick against his leg he was more than ready to let all feeling of innocence go. Lex grinned at him and licked water off his chest, stopping to run his lips softly over the little diamond of hair there. He licked and teased at it, and sucked water off his nipples, licking and sucking till Bruce thought he would pass out from the sensation. He took Lex in his hand and grinned when his head snapped back and he pushed into his hand.

Bruce cupped his head and brought his mouth back to his, let Lex bite and suck on his lips, pull and yank on the hair plastered to his forehead by the water as he worked his hand up and down the shaft, and rubbed over the head with his thumb and pressed gently against the slit. He looked down in wonder, fascinated at the feel of another man's penis in his hand, amazed that he was making Lex moan so loud and clutch so wildly at him. He was making him feel good, and the thought made him hot and hard and he felt like a god. Lex groaned and thrust, shallow little movements that did more to tease him than offer relief.

He stroked Bruce a little, just gliding his fingers on the shaft, reaching lower and palming his balls. Bruce held his breath, and Lex tugged at the hair, and scratched gently over the water soaked curls. He moaned low and leaned forward, nibbling at Lex's throat, and gasped when Lex reached back and rubbed a finger slowly over his hole-oh...oh that feels-he reached out blindly to shut the water off and moved back, with his hand still wrapped around Lex's dick, pressed thigh to thigh and belly to belly he walked him back until his knees hit the ledge in the shower and he had to sit.

He dropped to his knees in front of him and slid his hands up and down Lex's thighs --god .god, oh shit-he leaned closer, Lex's dick leaped at the movement and a glistening string spun out from the tip of his dick to his thigh and Bruce put out his tongue to capture it and Lex -froze-gasped-and yelled when Bruce sucked the head between his lips, "Oh, fuck stop, I'm going to come right now!" and Bruce wondered how in the world he possibly could.

Lex 's breath hitched and gasped and he asked Bruce "Who--" and Bruce stopped long enough to say, " No one, only you, first time ever " murmured the words against his dick and Lex shook from head to toe, grabbed Bruce's shoulders and thrust up "-God, now, watch, stop, stop..." Bruce wouldn't stop; Lex couldn't stop and came in Bruce's mouth with a hoarse cry. Bruce was startled into pulling back and it poured over his tongue and he swallowed it all and thought --I did that, me, I made him-oh shit! I made him cry-

He jumped up and grabbed Lex into a hug, "I'm sorry, don't cry, don't cry please! What did I do wrong? I'll fix it--"

Lex leaned on him and shook. "Oh, shit, * I'm* sorry! I'm -I don't know why I'm crying so mu-much lately-it's just, I never felt that way before. I've never felt safe before."

He raised his head and looked into Bruce's eyes. "Thank you for loving me."

Bruce laughed at him. "You don't thank someone for loving them, just love them back!"

Lex smiled and pushed his head under Bruce's chin.

"You're right," he murmured. "You're always right."

Out of the shower and under the awning, Bruce knelt and rubbed a towel gently over Lex's chest and across his stomach, wiping and patting him dry. He worked his way down his thighs and watched Lex glow, and stretch like a cat. He turned him around and began toweling his back, working up his legs and across his ass. Lex sighed as the towel rubbed lightly across him, and sighed again when Bruce applied a little more pressure. He bent forward slightly and swayed to the pressure of Bruce's hands like he had no bones, just riding waves of sensation, crooning softly to himself and, Bruce decided with a smile, just soaking up the attention like a flower absorbs the rays of the sun.

He toweled and stroked the smooth skin of Lex's ass, it felt nice under his hand, warm and silky, and he couldn't resist leaning closer and biting him gently on a smooth round cheek, --just like a peach-- he grinned to himself. Lex's reaction was...wow. He groaned so loud, it was almost a scream, and jackknifed forward. Bruce hissed in a breath-that was hot-and bit him again, not quite so gently. Lex sobbed and grabbed for the chair in front of him, and his legs slid farther apart.

Bruce stared for a moment, asked himself what he thought he could do-I know he likes this...but...but Lex likes it...damn, ok -he closed his eye and tentatively lapped at the little ring of muscle and -not thinking...not thinking, oh-Lex shook all over and made a noise that Bruce figured would pretty damn much give a dead man a hard on. He lapped a little harder, twisting his tongue against the hole and now he had to hold his hips tight because Lex couldn't keep still, and the sound-every noise that came out of his mouth sizzled straight to his groin.

Bruce's dick was drooling precome down his leg and Lex was sobbing and calling out his name, Bruce knew without a doubt, he had to fuck him, and Lex ground out, "Oh, hell yeah fuck me right now."

His voice was gravelly and deep and it made Bruce's dick jump again-- Fuck, I didn't know I said that out loud, but good-"How?" Lex fished about in the seat of the chair he had a death grip on and slapped a bottle of lotion at Bruce's hand.

"Wow, Bruce said shakily," You're like a boy scout--"

Lex snorted. "Idiot" and Bruce laughed, pleased with himself. He was doing good if Lex called him an idiot. He slathered lotion on himself -shitohfuckdontcome--- he had no idea how much to use, but he figured it should be a lot, and then Lex groaned, " Bruce... come on, it's not rocket science..."

He lined up his dick with that little hole and --FUCK! -- Lex thanked him over and over, and Bruce pushed deeper, slipping deeper into the heat and just felt it on every single square inch of him, heat and pressure and the slick slide in and the reluctant release as he pulled out and Lex was wrapped around him and he was fucking Lex, Lex and Lex was coming; he felt it and heard it and how did that happen and in the next instant he knew how it happened, everything was pouring out of him; words that ripped out of him and flew upwards to tell heaven how much he loved, every breath, every muscle, every cell!-- worked to one goal, the biggest fucking orgasm of all time-it had to be...

He floated up out of a sea of gray warmth, wonderfully aching, sated and grinning from ear to ear, before he was hit with a wave of guilt-damn, all he could really remember was some noise he thought may have been Lex, shit, he had no idea if it was really ok for him and whether he'd really come or not-what kind of asshole would forget about their lover like that? One look at Lex's face sent relief flooding through him.

"Lex. Now I know what they mean when they say someone looks like 'the cat that ate the canary'."

Lex laughed. "Where do you hear stuff like that? Thought you didn't watch the Old Dead TV Show channel, or do you just have a really old brain?"

Bruce started to say the only thing he ever had in head was Lex and the only thoughts he had were of his love for him, but he stopped and just smiled instead.

Lex didn't love him like that and that was ok. If he ever did, than it would be more than he ever deserved; if he never did, that was ok too. Whatever Fate or Destiny or what the fuck had in store for them didn't concern Bruce at that moment.

For now, Lex was all his, he'd caught the moon, and he was going to hang on for as long and as hard as he could.

July24-2004