Making Up is Hard to Do

What would it take for Lex to forgive Clark?

Spoilers: Maybe for Covenant.

Betaed by Melisande and Silvercat, who have my utmost gratitude and thanks. I am lucky to have them.

Disclaimer: They belong to like corporations and stuff. But if they would stop with the angst on the show I might have less of an urge to rescue them all the time. Well, maybe not.

Feedback: Oh yes, PLEEEESE!

~

I sat typing at my desk, fingers flying over the keys as I tried to make deadline. They faltered as I felt a gust of warm breath on my ear.

"What are you doing?" his rough velvet voice asked.

"Just a bit of writing..." And I really needed to finish. Perry was breathing down my neck for this piece, and he could be a real ass when deadline came around. Remind me why I was a journalist again?

"Am I so boring?" His skilled wet tongue gently licked my earlobe. A moan was dragged from my throat. Shit, he knew how sensitive my ears were. Of course, he knew my every weakness. Strong arms crept around me, then, the addictive warmth of bare skin was against my back.

"When I woke up and found you gone, I was worried," he whispered. "Then I remembered your 'other lover' out here. Figured I had to take back my man."

"Mmmm. I'm right here," I whispered back. "The computer is not my 'other lover', I just need to finish..."

Lex kissed my temple. "I think you need to finish me, love. How can I entice you back to bed?" he asked, nibbling at my jaw, the skin of his smooth warm scalp rubbing along my face.

"You're doing a pretty good job right now," I gasped. My hands trembled with the need to touch him.

"What are you writing about anyway?" he asked as his tongue mapped the lines of my neck.

What was I writing about? Oh, yeah... "Mmmm... about you," I moaned.

"Yeah? What about me?" he asked, sliding onto the chair I was on. I looked at him and groaned.

"You do this to me every time! I have to... I just have to...." I reached up and pulled his face closer to mine. "What is my obsession with that lip?" I muttered.

"Obsession huh, Clark? Sounds serious. What can we do?"

"I think it's going to have to be desensitization therapy," I replied as I slowly and repeatedly licked his top lip.

"Mmmm," he said, smiling. "Ok, if that's the treatment then I'm happy to help..."

His tongue scissored out to lick the line of my lips and my moan was all he needed to slip it inside my mouth and explore. I ran my hands over his warm smooth scalp, scooting my body closer, computer completely forgotten.

He chuckled into my mouth and gathered me tenderly in his strong arms as we both heated up. God Lex could kiss!

He was now straddling my lap, and we were both slowly grinding against each other. He was warm and throbbing and I could feel his leaking cock, poorly concealed by my favorite silk boxers. As his lips pulled away from mine I whimpered. My mouth clung to his top lip...

"Kent!" Lois' voice screamed in my ear and I jolted back to reality. "Lost in dreamland again, huh? What are you always dreaming about, anyway Smallville?" she asked snidely, seeing that she now had my attention.

"Nothing, Lois. Nothing at all." And unfortunately it was true.

She snorted and went back to her desk mumbling about rookie reporters.

I stared at my blank computer screen. It had just been another useless daydream of what could have been had I not been such a stupid idiot four years ago. Why hadn't I figured it out back then? Again, because you are a moron, Kent, I thought to myself for the umpteenth time as I went back to ignoring Lois' latest diatribe.

And what had brought this on? Lex's damned picture. I had made it a point to not have access to any of his pictures, but here was one, staring me in the face. God, he looked glorious, better than anyone had the right to. He had bulked up, filled out a bit, probably as a result of his workouts with those Amazon women he'd employed as bodyguards. Anyway, no matter what the reason, he looked sleeker, hotter, more dangerous, and it was making me hard just looking at him.

When Jimmy had dropped it on my desk saying that Perry wanted an expose on Lex, I had almost quit. Lois was the Lex fanatic. She was the one convinced that he was an evil overlord in the making, out to dupe the poor citizens of Metropolis... no, the world. And while I could admit that he had some megalomaniac tendencies, even when we knew each other back in Smallville, there were things that even Lex wouldn't do.

But Perry didn't care about any of that, all he knew was that I had known Lex before moving to Metropolis. "I want a different angle on this, Kent," he'd barked as he'd talked to me about the assignment. "Lois is out for blood, which is fine, but Luthor won't let her within a mile of him. You, have an in. Use it! I want to know about the man behind the image."

So here it was, my make or break article. My ticket out of the Arts and Living section where I typically did exposes on rotten melons in grocery stores, to the world of true investigative reporting. Lex would probably take my call, at least I thought he would. Even if it was just out of curiosity.

After that fateful day when I had told him that we weren't friends anymore and asked him to stay away from me, Lex had kept to his word. He'd moved to Metropolis, yet maintained contact with everyone else in Smallville and had kept tabs on them. He'd found a way to help my parents with the farm, Lana with a successful graphic design career in Paris, even Pete had realized his political aspirations because of Lex's sponsorship. He had been a particular help to Chloe, relocating her and helping her establish herself in New York. She loved it there and was now happily married to another ace reporter. They had recently had twins.

He had stayed far away from me though. Really far away. And even though I couldn't complain since I'd said that I wanted him to leave me alone, did he have to be so... thorough about it?

And would Lex allow me anywhere near him now? It had been a foolish, stupid outburst. One that I had regretted almost from the moment that it had left my lips. And I knew that it had hurt him. That had been back when I could read him like a book, and my rejection had been calculated to hurt him. I had no right to expect anything from him now, especially not to be able to use him as a career boost. Use him like everyone else in his life had. Maybe he would just say no and I could weasel out of it? Maybe if I called at a bad time, like before a corporate takeover or just before he was about to be out of town? I remember how busy he used to get just before a big out of town meeting. Maybe he'd be way too busy to see me, he'd send regrets through his secretary's secretary and I'd be off the hook.

~

He said yes. Of course. And he called me back at work on the same day I called him.

"Clark Kent here.'' I answered as I typically do. I was so not prepared to hear that voice.

"Hello, Clark." And there it was, that smooth as silk voice that could effortlessly take me back to our time together in Smallville. To summer evenings spent at the Castle watching movies and playing pool. To afternoons at the Talon drinking bad coffee and talking about Greek philosophers. How could I have let it all go so wrong? I really am an idiot.

"Lex!" I did not squeal, and I will sic Superman on anyone who says I did. Can I get any more pathetic?

"I understand you called, Clark. What can I do for you?"

And for a moment I honestly couldn't speak. Do for me? Well, let's see. I'm having dreams about you, Lex. Yes, those kinds of dreams. I miss you and I want to be friends again. Well, no, not friends, more than friends. You up for that, Lex? Was there a single sound that could convey all those thoughts?

And apparently the answer is yes. I can get more pathetic.

"Er... yes, Lex. I did call. I was hoping that I could talk to you... er interview you for the Daily Planet."

Silence, and then the cool Lex voice that somehow reminded me of icicles and brain freeze and my Fortress in Antarctica.

"I see. Well, I am not sure that that is advisable, Clark," he said.

Advisable? Ok, I suppose speaking to me on the record wasn't advisable. Just like my calling his ass after four years wasn't advisable. Still, I had to see him, speak with him. I knew that now. I had been going around and around about this. Did I really want to see Lex? Yes, I concluded, there was no way I had closure on this. Closure? Damn, now I was starting to sound like one of those bad self help books.

"Lex." I spoke softly, hunching over in my chair so that my busybody partner wouldn't know who I was on the line with. "I... look, can we just get together and talk? Not on the record if you don't want it to be, just... I'd like to see you. Talk to you. Is that ok?"

Another pause as he weighed my future in his hands. Then, a gust of air so soft that even I had trouble hearing it.

"Very well, Clark," he said finally. "I have a few minutes this evening before a dinner engagement. You can stop by the penthouse then."

"Thanks, Lex."

The penthouse. Damn, talk about home turf. I had flown by it a few times. And I had resisted the urge to use my X-ray vision on it 'til I had spotted Lex in a window one night. God he'd looked good. I'd been telling myself that as a leading citizen of Metropolis, Lex deserved a bit more surveillance than the normal person, so I'd been making it one of my regular patrol stops. Yes, I could rationalize with the best of them. It also helped that that building was the tallest in Metropolis, making it a good landmark.

Anyway, this particular evening Lex had been out with the bitch debutante of the month, Munich Kincaid, heiress to the Kincaid billions. And who names their daughter after a city anyway? Morons. Anyway, there he was standing at the window looking out at the night and he looked so good that I had stop and watch.

He walked back into the penthouse, sat down next to miss bitch and proceeded to give her a thorough dental exam. By the time they came up for air she was practically in his lap, ripping at his clothes and babbling. Amateur. Anyway, it was pretty hot, and before I knew it I had an erection the size of one of his sex on wheels machines from watching them. They were going to have sex, I just knew it. Lex shouldn't be having sex with strange women, so as a public service I used my heat vision to set off the sprinkler. Munich doesn't look so good with her makeup running off her face and her hair plastered to her head. Heh.

After that I cruised by periodically... ok every night... and saw him do this with a succession of different women. All rich, all smart, all tall, dark haired and built. All not me. I never saw him have sex with them though. Funny, there was always a mechanical failure in the penthouse just when things were heating up. They would end up groping and kissing for a while and then after the building needed to be evacuated or the alarm went off, they would get up, put their clothes back on and leave. When he came back all cleaned up he was usually alone, and he would go back to looking out the window. Sometimes I wondered if he could sense me out there watching him.

Anyway, so I knew Lex's life pretty well. And yes, I get the irony that ever since I told him to stay out of my life I'd been snooping in his. Lois was not the only obsessed one. I just didn't publicize my findings.

Lois, of course, once she found out about the assignment, couldn't leave well enough alone. "When's the big interview, Smallville?" she asked that night as we were all heading out.

"This evening," I replied.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, took you all of ten seconds to get it, didn't it?" Smiling cynically she tossed her hair over her shoulder and sent her parting shot. "Can't wait to see the puff piece you do on him."

Yeah, Lois could be a bit bitter when it concerned Lex. Despite her innuendoes and snide questions at press conferences she had never been able to get Lex to crack. He was always unfailingly polite and it drove her nuts. Add to that the fact that there was not one iota of evidence that Lex was involved in anything illegal and, well, she was like Van Helsing trying to sniff out Dracula.

After going home to change, I headed over to the penthouse and ended up getting there about ten minutes early. I wonder who his dinner date's with, I thought as I parked my beat up Toyota in the LuthorCorp garage. I saw his car immediately, of course. The new souped up Lambourghini, one of only twenty, custom made for certain special clients. I remember reading that Lex had gotten number three off the line and had been pissed because two people had been ahead of him.

I signed in at the desk and was escorted to a discreet private elevator at the end of the hall. The guard punched in a code and ushered me in. I thought he would come up with me, but he simply watched the door close. There were no buttons on the inside. I supposed it only went to one place, to Lex's penthouse, which occupied the upper two floors of the LuthorCorp towers. He had evidently had it completely gutted and redone when his father had finally died in prison two years ago. Can't say I blame him for that either. Who knows what kind of nasty presents he might have left. Vindictive old bastard.

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened to reveal a plush wood panelled hallway. The guard who was there was obviously expecting me.

"Mr. Kent, please step this way, sir."

I followed him to a set of enormous mahogany doors, where he turned the knob and ushered me inside.

I won't say that the sight of Lex made my heart stop, but it was close. He was as I remembered, yet somehow, more. More vital, more charismatic, just... more. He was standing by the west facing windows, watching the sunset, and all I saw at first was his silhouette. Smooth bald head, the color of burnished gold in the light, broad shoulders well showcased in a deep gray suit, the white silk shirt underneath just the perfect touch to show off his creamy flawless skin. He was wearing matching gray pants that hung perfectly, and my eyes lingered on his butt. I had spend many a Saturday afternoon contemplating the shape of Lex's butt as he had bent over his pool table.

When he turned around it felt like being hit by a bus. The breath rushed out of me and for a moment I panicked until I remembered that I didn't need to breathe. Thank you alien physiology.

"Hello, Clark," he said, that sky blue gaze pinning me where I stood.

"Lex," I said. And really, what else was there to say? Here he was, right in front of me after four years of no contact. I thought I was entitled to a few moments to appreciate him.

The signature smirk, honed and perfected by years of practice, flitted across his face and then his expression closed. He walked slowly - had his hips always done that sexy swing? - over to the bar and poured himself a drink.

"Would you like anything before we get started, Clark?" he asked politely, and I hated that. Lex was a passionate man. Politeness was not what I was looking for. Even anger was better than politeness when dealing with Lex.

"I'll have what you're having," I said, equally stilted.

He poured two glasses of scotch and for a moment as he walked towards me, I thought he was going to hand it to me. It would have been a chance to touch him, but no, he was placing it on a coffee table that was in front of a couch. This room has furniture? I thought. I had completely missed everything except for the fact that Lex was in the room. And I was supposed to be a trained observer? Shit, I was beyond pathetic.

"Sit down, Clark," he said gesturing with his hand. He sat on the couch, leaving a space for me next to him. Well, that was sort of encouraging.

I sat and picked up the drink so that I would have something to do with my hands. They seemed to be wanting to pet Lex and I was pretty sure that we hadn't reached that portion of the evening. Yet. If we ever would.

Inclining his head, he simply looked at me in silence. Waiting for me to start talking, I supposed. No one did the intimidating silence thing like Lex. He had once told me that there was really no reason ever to ask questions. Most people are so afraid of silence that they will blurt things out and generally it will be what they don't want you to know. I wondered if he remembered telling me that? I almost laughed at myself then. Lex, forget anything? The man had a mind like a steel trap.

"Thanks for seeing me, Lex," I started. "I... originally I called for an interview, but, as I said when we talked on the phone, everything we discuss tonight can be off the record if you want. We," I paused. This was the hard part. "I need to talk about what happened between us a few years ago and clear the air."

And that cool closed look was still on his face. Damnit, I didn't think I was getting through. And who could blame him? I wasn't sure I would talk to me if I had done that to myself. Or if my best friend had done that to me. Or... whatever. Shit, I was confusing myself, and for this conversation I needed my wits about me. Hell, I needed to borrow several other people's wits as well if I hoped to match Lex Luthor.

I continued desperately. "I need... I need to ask your forgiveness, Lex, and I need a second chance. I know that's not your policy, but I'm hoping that my extenuating circumstances might make a difference." Lex raised an eyebrow when I said that forgiveness was not his policy. Yes, Lex, I thought. I remember everything you ever told me.

He sipped at his drink, and I waited with bated breath. That was my practiced speech, the one I had thought about saying to him several times, and he could probably sense that. At any rate, he wasn't buying it. Ok, so I guess I just needed to throw myself on his mercy.

"Lex," I said softly, eyes locked with his. "There's so much that I've hidden from you. And really, I have no excuse for lying to you except that I was afraid of your rejecting me and I was afraid of my parents being disappointed in me. I really need to tell you some things, and I... I don't know if there's hope for us as friends, but would you hear me out first before you say no?"

Another long silence, where any future I might have as an acknowledged member of Lex's society flashed before my eyes, and then he finally smiled. His real smile, not the one he reserved for employees stupid enough to disobey him. Not the one people saw before he flayed them alive and had them on the curb before they could feel the pain. This smile was the one that few people saw. I used to see it, I thought my mother saw it too a few times, which was why she had been so lenient about my visiting him. Back when I had been welcome to visit him.

He shook his head and my heart plummeted for a second. Damn, he was going to throw me out. He looked down at his drink for a moment, then looked back at me. Nodding slowly, he leaned back and smiled wryly.

"I wondered if you would ever do this, Clark," he said softly. "You're right. It is not my policy to allow second chances. I have," quick, sharp look at my face, "trust issues, as you know. But you have always been different. Why not in this regard as well? I will at least hear what you have to say."

I let out a breath that I hadn't even been aware I had been holding. I knew that this was a huge concession for him. His father was the only person I had ever seen him give multiple chances to, and look where that had gotten him. They'd remained estranged until the very last moment of Lionel's life. I imagine the last words on his lips would have been a gypsy curse, if Lionel had been a gypsy.

But, back to Lex. I was supposed to be so damned good at words, after all. This was my job. I got paid to persuade people to believe me. I found myself hoping that Lex was one of the ones that I could persuade.

"Lex. It was hard for me to hear from your father that you'd been spying on me. Even harder to have him hand me the key to that room. I... When I went there I expected it to be one of his tricks. Only, it wasn't." I paused, knowing the next part was the kicker. "I don't know if you knew this, but I had a king sized crush on you when we both lived in Smallville. And in that moment when I confronted you I felt, well... betrayed. Like this couldn't be the man I... I loved." There. I had finally said it. I didn't expect him to reciprocate, but he had to know why I'd done what I'd done. The fact that I was still in love him was.... irrelevant.

He was still for a long moment. I think he may even have stopped breathing. Then he let out a long gust of air, and he leaned towards the table placing his glass down carefully. I rubbed my eyes with my fingers and then, shockingly, there was a warm hand on my knee. Since it wasn't mine it had to be....

"Lex," I said, looking first at his hand and then at his face. "Please believe me. I... I want us to be friends again." That was not strictly the truth, I wanted far more than that, but at that moment I was just hoping for a shot at a place in his life as anything. The lover position was open, I thought, but my application had to wait for a bit.

"Friends, Clark?" he said. "How about we start with some explanations first." He moved his hand and ran it over his scalp, and I missed the warmth of that brief contact.

He sat back and sighed. "I suppose I too have some explaining to do, Clark," he said. "Over the years I have contemplated contacting you, but I didn't want to intrude where I wasn't wanted, so I figured I would tell you my point of view if... when we had this conversation." He looked at his watch and grimaced. "There's a charity thing that I was going to go to tonight..." He looked at me speculatively. "I can skip it though. Can you stay for dinner? Mabel can make up something quick for us here and we can talk this all out. Because you're right, Clark. We do need to talk."

I nodded. Would I stay for dinner? Hell yes, and dessert too if that was offered.

While Lex made calls cancelling his car and arranging for dinner at home, I stood up and walked over to the window. The sun had long set by now and there was an excellent view of the downtown Metropolis skyline, as well as a direct shot at the Daily Planet building. It looked different from here. Less... immediate. I could see why Lex could see himself as the king of the world from this window. There it was, spread out in front of him for the taking.

Walking up behind me, Lex looked out the window. "It's magnificent, isn't it?" he asked softly. "The world at your feet. For a long time I thought that it was all that I wanted. Lately though, I've been wanting other things..." He shook himself, almost as if coming out of a trance, and he turned to me. "Dinner should be up in a few minutes. In the meantime, would you like another drink?"

At some point I had finished the first one, so I nodded yes and he refilled our glasses. Seemed like a good idea, actually. Maybe we would be more open if we were drunk.

He handed me the refreshed drink and we both gravitated to the couch to wait for dinner.

"I need to tell you Clark, I was a bit... obsessed with you. I was convinced that you had a secret. I... for a while there I honestly didn't know if I'd imagined everything. I had some mental problems as you know... Anyway, when I was trying to remember, the doctors told me to try to relive everything. When I stumbled across that room I had no idea what it meant, only that you were obviously important to me." He shook his head. "I made the mistake of asking my father what it meant, the fact that I was collecting information on you." He laughed bitterly. "He had no idea, of course, but he used that information to try to drive a wedge between us. Then you showed up and you were so angry.... I had never seen you that angry. I wish... well, I too need you to forgive me, apparently. And I need to apologize for anything that I might have done that was... less than reasonable." He shook his head and took a deep sip of scotch. "I think when my father died, I realized that a lot of his secrets went with him, and it somehow made it easier to close the door on that chapter of my life."

Lex was apologizing? Wow, another first. And the thing was, he wasn't wrong. About any of it. I knew that I was going to have to confess my big secret sometime. The fact that Superman was big news made it a bit easier. But first came my apology.

"Lex, I owe you an apology. There are things that are different about me. Things that I couldn't tell you. Mainly because my parents were convinced that you would take advantage of them, exploit them. And while I never believed that, they are my parents and, well, I did what they said." I glanced down and started speaking to my shoes. "I make my own decisions now, so I have some things to tell you that may shock you but please, again, just hear me out, that's all I ask. If you... if you want me to go once I'm done telling you then I will."

Lex swirled his drink some more. "I have no doubts that your parents were trying to protect you, Clark," he said softly. "And until I know what you secrets were... are, I can't say whether or not I would have taken advantage of you or not." He glanced up at me. "I will say this, however. I did my best to protect you whenever I could. You truly were my best friend and I can't conceive of anything that could have made me not want to protect you. And believe me, Clark, I have a great imagination."

And wow, talk about guilt. I opened my mouth to confess everything, and at that moment his housekeeper came into the room to start setting up dinner. We both watched her as she efficiently set the table and carried in some dishes. Once it was ready she smiled over in our direction and Lex rose gracefully from the couch.

"C'mon, Clark. You must be hungry. Let's eat and then we can finish our conversation."

A reprieve! I nodded and we sat down together to share our first meal together in four years. It was like going home. I hadn't realized how much I missed his company until that moment.

"So what have you been doing with yourself, Clark?" he asked. "I know you work for the Planet, but I don't know much else."

So I told him about my senior year in high school, how hard it had been to help Dad keep the farm going and study and apply to school. Luckily, I had gotten scholarships and superspeed makes it easy to pop home for weekends to do chores, although I didn't mention that. I had still been able to help keep costs down on the farm. Although he showed some interest in my years at Met U, "Good journalism school," was his only comment.

Mabel came in several times to clear away dishes and to bring new ones, so, as if by mutual agreement, we kept the conversation light. When dinner was finally over, we retired to the balcony. It was a pleasant summer night and we were high enough above Metropolis that the raucous city sounds were nicely muted.

Lex stretched out on a lounge chair and looked up at the night sky. I looked up for a while, then I gave up all pretense and just stared at his profile. Lex had a great profile. As we sat there I felt a peace steal over me. It had been too long since I had done this. Just sat with someone else in silence. There weren't many people who would allow that. I'd forgotten how comfortable I used to feel in his presence.

"So, Clark," he murmured. "What are your 'extenuating circumstances'?"

Oh yeah. Those. Looking out at the skyline, I decided that I had avoided the topic long enough. Time to come clean.

"What do you know about my abilities, Lex?" I asked.

I felt his gaze slice into me like a blade. "You want a list, Clark?" he said. Nodding almost to himself he said, "Very well."

He sat up in the chair and started ticking points off on his fingers. "I know you're very fast. Fast enough to beat my helicopter from Smallville to Metropolis. I know you're strong. Metal bending strong. I know I hit you head on with my car on the that bridge that day. I know your eyesight is... exceptional. I know your hearing is unparalleled."

I stared at him. He knew a lot. I wondered if he had put it together yet. It was only a matter of time after all.

"All true, Lex," I said softly. "Do you know why?"

Lex snorted. "I have my theories. Anything from meteor mutant to the next step in human evolution." He paused, and ran his fingers over his bald scalp. "Why won't you just tell me, Clark? Am I not worthy of trust even now?"

I sighed. He was right. He had been my best friend, and even now I wanted a relationship with him. It was time to take the leap of faith. I turned to face him.

"I'm an alien, Lex. I'm from a planet called Krypton. My planet was dying, so my birth parents loaded me into a ship and sent me to earth to escape. I landed in the midst of the meteor shower that day. The Kents found me on the side of the road and adopted me. I... you did hit me on the bridge that day, and that was the day my parents told me who I was. Up until that point I'd had no idea."

Lex looked at me and... smiled. "Finally," he breathed.

Wait, Lex already knew? My face must have been particularly amusing because a smile twitched at his lips and then before you knew it we were both laughing. Maybe I'm hysterical, I thought as we laughed. Why was this funny?

"The look on your face," Lex chortled. "It's priceless." He laughed for another few seconds and then gradually came to a stop. He looked at me and smiled again. "I can't say I knew for sure, I'll just say that the possibility had crossed my mind, but the likelihood that an alien could so closely approximate a human is so unlikely that I dismissed that as a possibility." He shrugged. "Shows how much I know I guess."

Well, Lex seemed to be taking the news better than I'd expected. At least he hadn't recoiled in horror. But I should have known he wouldn't. That simply wasn't his style.

Lex was still just looking at me as if fascinated. Suddenly, he stood up and walked towards the railing to look out over the city. "Fuck! An alien! So how many people know, Clark?" he asked.

Oh shit. Deep breath. This would be hard. "Pete found out when he found my space ship. Chloe found out when she stopped by the farm one day and overheard my parents talking. My parents, obviously. And... well, I finally told Lana just before she moved to Paris."

"So all of your friends know," Lex said softly. "As it should be, I suppose."

Damnit! I knew this would be the hard part. God, how to explain this? "I... I wanted to tell you, Lex. And I almost did several times."

"Almost doesn't cut it though, Clark, does it?" he said, face and body still turned away. "The bottom line is, you are a superpowered alien and you told everybody else but me..." he paused and then turned slowly towards me. "Wait a second. Are you the guy who keeps showing up at crime scenes to rescue people? What is he called? Superman. Are you Superman?"

I nodded slowly.

He laughed and shook his head. "Of course you're Superman," he said talking more to himself than to me. "Strong, powerful, fast, overdeveloped sense of justice... it all fits." He pinned me with another look. "Is that why you felt you had to tell me, Clark? You thought that I would figure it out eventually and blow your cover?"

Ok, this so wasn't going the way I hoped. "No, Lex!" I said standing up and walking towards him. "I really have wanted to tell you all this time. When we drifted apart there didn't seem to be any point and I'll admit I was scared about how you would react. Not everyone took it as well as you are. But," and I really hoped he believed me now, "it was never a matter of my not trusting you, Lex. Please believe that. I was just young and afraid."

"So what do you want now, Clark," he asked after a few moments of silence.

"I just want us to be friends," I said pleadingly. "I want us to go back to the relationship that we had before. Do you think we can do that, Lex?"

He shook his head slowly. "I... I honestly don't know that, Clark," he said almost sadly. "For me there's a lot of water under the bridge." He walked slowly towards the inside of the condo. Turning back towards me, he looked at a point over my shoulder. "I think you should leave now, Clark," he said softly. "I need to think about things and right now I think it would be better if you were not here."

I nodded again, almost sick with disgust for myself. Why would he want to be around me? I thought in a haze of misery. Stupid, bumbling, inept alien who ruins everything. The best friendship I had ever had, with the most beautiful man on the planet, ruined because of a few hasty words and because I was too cowardly to just come clean with him.

I slinked past him and towards the door. I felt like I had to look at him. Just one last look before I was gone from his life forever. As my steps faltered, I glanced behind me and saw a single tear run down his perfect cheek.

"Lex." The word was torn from me. I had made Lex Luthor cry?

He looked at me and shook his head. "Not now, Clark. I need to deal with the fact that you were that afraid of me. I... I need you to leave now." He turned his back to me, and it felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest, the pain was that bad.

How I got home I'll never be sure. I had to have driven, since my car was there in the morning. I remember crawling straight into bed when I got there, although sleep was a long time in coming. All over Metropolis I could hear people talking, crying, loving. Those were the worst. The whispered words of love as people went to sleep, kissed each other goodnight, made love to each other. I sobbed for a while before exhaustion finally overcame me.

It was a good thing that the next day was Saturday, since I probably couldn't have gone to work anyway. I knew enough to know that I wasn't functioning on all cylinders, but more than that was beyond me. I warmed up a can of soup and ate it while watching mindless TV all day. The phone rang a couple of times, but I ignored it in favor of introspection. Self flagellation. Turns out I was good at that, and who would have known?

Monday showed up like a bad penny and I slunk into work. I didn't look at anyone as I made my way to my desk. I had been contemplating alternative career choices and construction work in rural Tibet sounded good about then. Anything that didn't involve thinking too much.

That week was hell. Luckily it was a slow news week, and Lois had a new boyfriend that she was distracted with, thus letting me off the hook. When she was single she got all nosy and matchmakery and it drove me nuts. Yes, she knew I was gay but she kept trying to set me up with these lame guys. Although I shouldn't complain. At least someone cared enough to try. I was pretty sure that I never had a shot at love again though. I had let my best shot at it slip through my fingers.

Friday morning finally came around and I was counting the minutes 'til I could go home and mope some more. I picked up the phone automatically when it rang. "Clark Kent."

"Clark."

My whole world shifted. "Lex?" I said, my throat almost closing.

A deep sigh and then he spoke. "I've been thinking about this interview that you asked for, and while my relationship with the press is spotty at best, I think I trust you to do a fair article. So, if you are still interested...."

"When?" I asked, as my lungs struggled to work.

"I have some time this afternoon," he said. "Would you meet me at my office?"

I nodded, then realized that he couldn't see me do that over the phone, so I mumbled something that apparently made sense to him. Thank God Lex spoke 'mumbled apologetic former friend' well.

We agreed on three o'clock, and he hung up.

~

"Come in, Clark."

He was waiting at the door to his office when I arrived. I was shown upstairs immediately by a grim faced young woman who moved like an assassin.

"Thank you, Mercy." He dismissed her and ushered me into the room. It was very Lex. Floor to ceiling glass windows with another killer view of Metropolis, not that I was noticing anything but Lex. He was controlled, polite and appeared relaxed. He offered me something to drink but I declined, so he sat down behind his desk. Looking at me expectantly, he nodded when I asked if I could record the conversation.

"So, Mr. Luthor," I started formally. "I think our readers might like to know a bit about your business philosophy."

The interview proceeded smoothly enough. He answered all of my questions matter of factly, his subtle sense of humor peeking through occasionally. Lex could be a really very funny guy, but again, not that many people were exposed to that side of him. I was just happy that I was seeing a bit of it then. I was determined to make sure that it came across in the article, and I thought he knew it.

After an hour and a half, we got to the end of the questions. Then I got to ask the one that had been burning inside me all day, ever since he'd called in fact.

"One final question," I said. At his nod, I continued. "Why, Lex?"

He sat back in his chair and looked at me over his folded hands. "I need a more specific question, Clark," he murmured.

I rolled my eyes. He was going to draw this out, but I couldn't say I blamed him. "Why did you decide to let me do the interview?" I asked.

A long assessing look, and then a rueful smile. "I thought about all that we talked about the last time we met." He shook his head and rocked back in his chair. "It's simple. I miss you, Clark. I miss our chats, I miss our movie nights, I even miss kicking your butt at pool." He stood up and walked over to the window. "I realize that there's nothing I can do about what's in the past. I'll be honest, it really hurts that you couldn't trust me, that you were afraid of me, but, given the person I was then, I'm not sure I blame you. But, things are different now. So, maybe we can start again. I'm willing to try if you are."

Willing? Hell, yes. Eager even. I would do anything to have a part in Lex's life. "Lex that's... yeah I would like that." Lame, Kent, I thought. Some wordsmith you are.

"Well, then, Clark. What are you doing this weekend? Want to come over and shoot some pool? We can see if your game's improved any." And Lex had the sneaky smile on. The one that used to mean that he was planning to trounce my ass. I was hoping that it still meant that.

~

Life was good again. Even Lois noticed that my mood was better, that I was cheerful when I was at work, that I had stopped moping around.

The article was well received and Lex called me to say that he'd liked it. LuthorCorp stock went up after it came out. Even Lois stopped making snide Luthor comments, at least she did around me.

Lex and I went to shows and played pool and even went to a few ball games. When he went with me to games we sat in the bleachers, ate hot dogs and yelled. When I went with him, we sat in the VIP box and drank Scotch. And there was no yelling.

The togetherness was nice. It was good to have my best friend back. Before I knew it three months had passed since we'd made up and were back together. We settled into habit. We had dinner about twice a week, sometimes three times, and we went to movies or games every couple of weeks or so. Everything seemed fine between us, but we were still not where I wanted us to be.

We were so careful of one another that it took the passion out of our relationship. We never argued and I thought it would have been better if we had. I think we were both afraid of what we would say if we did argue, so we kept tiptoeing around each other. I wanted us back where we had been before I'd messed up. No, that's not even true. Our friendship had been purely platonic before, and it was again. But now I wanted more. I wanted to be in his bed. Fucking him. Or having him fuck me, I really didn't care which. And it was driving me crazy.

I told him everything. About my powers, about the technology that had come to earth with me and allowed me to build my Fortress in Antarctica. Even about my weaknesses. But every now and again I would see a certain look in his eye, and I would wonder if things could ever be the same. I wanted that look gone from his eyes. The cautious look that said, "I still don't trust you enough to relax and let go." I felt as though I was seeing the public Lex all the time.

Lois, of course, found out that we were friends again. She would never admit it, but she did mellow on the whole "Lex Luthor is Evil Incarnate" idea. She even got to the point where she teased me incessantly about my "rich crimelord boyfriend". Would that that had been true. I still dreamed about him, but it was harder now, because he was within reach, yet not.

I think we would have continued like that for three more months had it not been for Lana's moving back to Kansas. She was too much of a city girl now to move back to Smallville, Paris will do that to you I guess, but Metropolis was just her speed. She called me the day after she got back, and we planned to meet for dinner that night. It was my night to eat with Lex, but I figured he would understand if I had to call off our standing Tuesday night dinner. I was so wrong.

"Lex, I need to skip out tonight, something's come up." I was relieved to be able to leave the message on his voicemail, since I wasn't sure that I wanted him to know I was blowing him off for Lana. Which I wasn't really, it's just... she was new back in town and had no one and she'd sounded so lonely on the phone.... Yes, I knew that was pathetic, but it was Lana, and while I was definitely not in love with her anymore, there was still a place in my heart that belonged to her.

Lana looked great. She had matured nicely. She would always have a little girl quality about her but now she was sophisticated in a European sort of way. Very assured, very confident. She kind of reminded me of Lex. We went out to dinner at a little Italian place around the corner from the Planet, and every guy in the place was drooling. You could see she was aware of it but that she simply accepted it as her due. Yeah, she wouldn't be lonely long.

As we lingered over dinner and dessert we caught up on old times. She filled me in on all the old gang. She had kept in touch with a lot of people from Smallville, surprisingly enough. Part of whatever attracted mutants to her in the first place I guessed. Now that she was gone they all had to write her or something.

"So, how about you and Lex?" she finally asked as she sipped her cappuccino.

"What about us?" I asked, fiddling with my linen napkin. She knew I was gay, I had come out to her long ago. In a way it had been harder to tell her that than to tell her that I was an alien.

She rolled her eyes. "You've been in love with him forever, Clark," she said softly, leaning forward. "So, now that you're practically dating, how are things?"

"But we're not dating, Lana," I said sadly. "We're going out and socializing but whatever the spark was, it's gone. I told him how I felt about him before, but he hasn't done anything. And I'm not gonna make a pass at Lex Luthor."

"Why the hell not?" she asked. "And what do you mean you told him how you felt about him before? Have you told him how you feel about him now?"

"I.. not really," I confessed.

"Clark, you have got to tell him. How the hell is he supposed to know otherwise?"

"Lana, I think if he were interested in me he would have done something about it by now. I mean the way he used to look at me... Well, he doesn't look at me like that now."

She shook her head. "Not necessarily, Clark," she said. "If it were me, and I was now trying to become friends, or more, with a person that I had such a long history with, I would be very cautious. That person could have the power to hurt me badly, and I would be very slow to let him back in." She dabbed daintily at her lips with the napkin. "I think you need to tell him how you feel now."

Yes, maybe she was right. But thinking it and doing it were two different things. I didn't want to jeopardize what we had now. What if he laughed at me?

I told her I would think about it, and that answer seemed to satisfy her. I walked her home and it was a pleasant night. I hugged her goodnight and watched to make sure she got in ok. It was a shock to turn around and see Lex standing there.

"Uhh... Lex! Hi. What... what are you doing here?"

Lex was impeccably dressed in a blue suit, pale blue shirt underneath the jacket. He looked business casual and utterly delicious. "I wanted to see what had suddenly 'come up' Clark," he said.

"How did you find me?"

"I followed you from work." He looked at me as if he were challenging me to comment on that little snippet. I chose to let it go.

He inclined his head toward the door of Lana's condo. "I see Lana's back."

"Yes. She called and asked if I had dinner plans and she only just got back so I..."

"So you dropped everything and ran to her side?" And oh shit, Lex was pissed. "That is what happened, right, Clark?"

"I... well it might seem like that but..."

"How else could it seem, Clark?" he asked coldly. "We had plans and just like the old days, Lana shows up and you abandon everyone else and go running to her. Will we be seeing each other any more or are you resuming your old romance with her?"

Ok, was it my imagination or was Lex acting jealous? "What romance, Lex? The one where I watch her from a distance while she dates other people? Even if I still wanted her, which I don't, I don't think I could take the frustration. It's been frustrating enough being with you these past few months..." And shit, had I just said that out loud?

A Lexian eyebrow raise was all I got. "I have been frustrating you, Clark?" He laughed mirthlessly. "You will excuse me if I find that funny, since I have given you every opportunity to declare any feelings you may have, only to have you ignore every one."

"What the hell does that mean?" I yelled. "What opportunities? You have been distant and cool since we started to hang out again. How the heck was I supposed to know that you wanted anything more than what we're doing now? I told you how I felt..."

"Yes, Clark," he interrupted. "How you felt. Not how you feel, felt. For all I know you could be dating seventeen people right now."

I stepped closer to him. "Well I'm not." I snarled. "For the record, the only person I want to date, Lex, is you. Has been for a long time. But you are dating every skanky debutante under the sun. How the heck am I supposed to compete with that? For all I know you're as straight as an arrow. You've never dated a man that I ever saw...."

"Except you, Clark," he hissed. "What the fuck do you think we've been doing these past few months?"

We were both so intent on our conversation that we missed the fact that we had an audience.

"You guys can either come in or you can take the conversation elsewhere," Lana said from the door. "I really want to know how it turns out, but you may want a bit more privacy for this discussion."

"Hello, Lana," Lex said.

"Hey, Lex," she replied. "Look, for what it's worth, I spent most of the evening telling Clark the same thing, that he needed to talk to you. And for the record, I am not any competition, ok? He really wants to jump you, so just... give him some encouragement."

"Lana!" Oh God was she trying to make me blush. I was older but that didn't mean I couldn't still blush.

"Clark?"

And oh shit, now I had to look Lex in the face after that? "Yes, Lex?"

"That true?"

"I..."

Lana must have seen something in our faces because she let out this throaty chuckle and said, "Have fun, guys." The sound of her door closing was the last one for a while.

"Clark?" He sounded almost unsure. That made me look up.

"Yes, Lex?"

"Do you really want to... jump me?" he asked, sounding for all the world like he was a little kid asking for more porridge.

"What do you think, Lex?" I was tired of this. I was literally aching for him and if he couldn't tell then.... well maybe he needed a demonstration.

I walked towards him and he didn't back down, he just stood there as I approached. I reached out with one shaking hand and touched his cheek. He still didn't move. Cupping his cheek I tilted his head up and leaned down slowly. I gave him plenty of time to stop me. When my lips touched his, it was like something was released in both of us.

He moaned softly and opened his mouth and I was lost. Lost in the taste of Lex. God, his tongue was so agile. I licked that gorgeous scar that had fascinated me for so long, and that seemed to set him on fire. His hands slipped under my shirt and each stroke of those elegant fingers set off explosions under my skin. I was whimpering, I think, my mind wasn't clear at that point. All I knew was, Lex tasted good and I wanted more.

He started pulling away and I froze. Oh no, had I been too aggressive, too pushy? But he didn't look mad he looked... aroused.

"We have to go somewhere else, Clark," he whispered, licking his lips like he could still taste me. "We can't stand here and make out on the street."

Ok, fair enough. "Where do you want to go, Lex?" I murmured. My hands were still busy stroking his muscled back, they apparently hadn't gotten the stop signal from my brain yet. He closed his eyes and sighed.

"God, you have great hands," he whispered. "Let's go back to the penthouse."

He must have broken every driving law and speed limit to get us back. He had the Lambourghini and it was a good thing. Any cops that saw us probably figured they could just send the bills directly to the penthouse since there was no chance that they could catch us. I knew I wasn't helping, but I couldn't seem to keep my hands off of him. I kept stroking his leg and thigh.

"You're going to kill us both," he murmured as my hand strayed dangerously close to his cock.

"I can save us," I said, equally softly.

He smiled and bit his lip. Flicking a sharp look at me, he said, "You are staying tonight, right, Clark?"

I leaned over and whispered in his ear. "Just try to get rid of me."

He shuddered and pressed the accelerator harder.

~

Vague memory of how we got to the penthouse. I know that we passed the LuthorCorp security and got to the elevator where I wanted to haul him to me and smother him with kisses, but I knew the elevator was monitored. I settled for a smoldering look that I think got the point across. He was panting by the time the elevator reached the top and I hadn't even touched him.

He nodded at the security guard there and let me into the apartment. I walked through ahead of him but as soon as the door closed I found myself hauled back and slammed against it. Then he was ripping at my clothes and he was a wild man.

"Oh god, naked please just... naked," he muttered as he pulled at my shirt. Naked? Hell, I could do that. I superspeeded both of us out of our clothes and had us on the couch in about a second.

I pulled him on top of me thinking not to crush him and as he settled over me, he dragged his tongue up the side of my neck and I moaned. He had the softest skin and I couldn't believe that I was finally touching it, touching him. As my hands explored his back, I felt him grin against my skin. He started sucking marks into my neck, or trying to at least. A quick nip to my jaw had me writhing, and then his hands were everywhere. When he finally grasped my cock I think I saw stars. I would have come right then and there except, he told me not to.

"Don't come yet," he whispered in my ear and nibbled on the lobe. I groaned but nodded. "I'll make it worth your while," he promised, as he did a slow grind against me. His cock was dripping precome, as was mine, and the slickness, the heat between us was incredible. After another slow wet kiss that reduced me to a trembling mass of flesh, he devoted himself to the matter at hand.

He jacked me slowly, almost tenderly, all the while whispering sweet dirty things in my ear. God he just... held me like he would be there forever, and I wanted it to last, I really did, but there was no way. I had dreamed about this for too long.

"Please, Lex," I begged, knowing he would respond to that. And he did, with a deep wet wild kiss that left us both shaking.

"Come now, Clark," he whispered against my lips. "Come for me."

And I did. It felt like an explosion from inside, like I was turning inside out. It had been so long... years that I had dreamed about coming in his arms and the reality was so much better than the fantasy. I came forever, and he just held me like I could stay there for the rest of time.

When I came to he was licking at my neck, and he was still hard and throbbing against me. Just the weight of him, the scent of my come mingling with his Lex smell made my cock twitch. He felt it and laughed softly.

"Little Superman isn't done yet, huh?"

I smiled. I think it probably lit up the room I was so happy, and I heard his breath catch. "No," I said. "Not done yet, but I think it's your turn, don't you?"

He did a sexy hip roll that made me gasp and then resettled on top of me. "Mmm, yes. I think it is my turn, Clark. Do I get to choose what I want to do?"

"As long as it involves fucking me, then yes," I said.

A groan and then a slow deep exploratory kiss was my answer. His fingers were as talented as I'd dreamed they would be, and they somehow found their way to my puckered opening. I felt one brush by it oh so daintily. God, I needed him inside me!

"Bed, Clark," he murmured. Bed? What...? Then I remembered we were still on the couch in his living room. Well I could get us to his bed, no problem. I floated us off the couch and down the hall, all the while he was clinging to me and his fingers were exploring places I didn't even know I had.

I got us to the bed ok, but then we hovered for a while over it. That has always been a problem for me, controlling my hovering when aroused. I often wondered how I managed to touch the ground at all in Lex's presence. I finally got us onto the bed and he chuckled and sat up, straddling me.

"Several ways we can do this, Clark," he said.

"I need to see your face," I said, and he nodded slowly. Reaching to the nightstand, he pulled out a condom and a tube and flipped open the lid.

Oozing some liquid onto his fingers he rubbed them together and reached down to stretch me. The look on his face was intense. Like I was every holiday rolled into one, his best present ever. And that was fine since I was giving myself to him. Whether he knew it or not, I belonged to him.

A slick finger breached me and I arched into it, moaning. It felt so good! I rotated my hips trying to get that finger deeper, feel more of it, and he obliged by sliding another finger in right next to it. Then he brushed my prostate and it was like the Fourth of July. I whimpered and spread my legs wider, my entire body begging for him. He spread those fingers wide, then added a third, all the while watching my face even as I watched his.

"You ready, Clark?" he asked, giving his hand a vicious twist that had me almost off the bed.

"Yes," I panted. "Been ready forever."

A tender kiss, the sound of plastic tearing and then I felt his slick cock against my hole. It throbbed as he slid it in me, and then he was there, balls deep inside me. My legs found their way around his waist and then he moved and it was like explosions everywhere. The feel of him moving inside was something I couldn't ever describe. Every inch of him pulsing as he made a place for himself in me. The drag of his cock and the little grunts as he made as I arched into him trying, always trying to pull him deeper.

His face was set, purposeful as he drove into me, slowly at first, his blue eyes wide and focused like he was the one with X-ray vision able to see into my soul. I was opened, exposed, every part of me available for his inspection and as he leaned forward to take my lips into another searing kiss I felt him flex inside me and swell. His rhythm grew ragged and then, too soon, my cock pulsed in answer and we came together, his head buried in my neck, his breath hot. I closed my eyes as I felt the burning behind them that signaled my heat vision being triggered. That hadn't happened in years, inadvertent combustion due to my heat vision, but then sex with Lex was not a common thing. Hopefully I would have lots of chances to practice controlling it.

We lay panting for a while, my hands stroking his back unsteadily as our breathing slowed. He was still inside me, and I felt occasional twitches as we shifted, bringing him closer in my embrace.

"So, you're not going to be dating Lana then, Clark?" he asked finally.

I laughed. "What makes you say that?" I asked.

He bit my shoulder.

"Careful, you'll break your teeth and we'll have to buy you baby food," I said.

He shook his head and curled closer into my warmth. "We need to argue more," he said softly.

"What? Why?"

"Why else? The makeup sex is great," he murmured, and smiled.

"Better than 'first time' sex?" I asked.

"Mmm. Maybe not," he conceded.

I had to say it, it was burning inside me. "I love you, Lex."

He pulled me closer. "I'm beginning to gather that, Clark," he said. "And I love you too, just in case you were wondering."

I had been. It was good to finally hear it someplace other than in my dreams.

We cuddled for a while, although I'm sure if I'd asked Lex he would have come up with a more manly name for it, and then we finally drifted to sleep.

~

I woke to an empty bed that smelled of Lex and of sex. Not enough sex, but sex nonetheless. As I rolled into the warm spot where his body had recently been, I glanced at the clock. Five am? What was Lex doing up at five am?

Getting out of bed, I padded to the living room where I saw him sitting at the table, laptop fired up, typing away. He was so focused that I think I truly surprised him when I hugged him from behind.

"What are you doing?" I whispered into his warm neck.

I felt a shudder pass through him. "Working," he said, his head tilting forward to allow me better access.

I nuzzled him, and then glanced at the screen. "What are you working on?" I asked.

He smiled. "Trying to get a head start on today's projects," he said almost sheepishly. "I thought that we could both play hookey today."

"Mmmmm, great idea," I said. "I have a couple of days off that I can take." I pressed a kiss behind his ear. "I didn't think I could tempt you away from this machine though."

"You just need to offer the right incentive," he said smiling.

With my breath hot on his neck I whispered, "If I blow you, would that be incentive enough?"

I felt a deep body shudder pass though him as he pretended to consider. Then his shaking hand reached out and shut down the laptop. "Good thing I don't really need to work," he said. "I suspect I'm going to be fairly useless at LuthorCorp for a while."

"My brilliant boyfriend," I said, pulling him out of the chair and into my arms.

He leaned forward and kissed me until I was gasping. "I guess this means that you think my taste in companions is getting better then?" he said, pulling back slowly.

"Huh?"

He smirked. "I seem to remember a comment about 'skanky debutantes', Clark."

I blushed. He would have to remember that. "Oh, right," I said.

He grinned wickedly. "A lot of the mysterious mishaps that used to happen here when I actually used to date debutantes are now becoming clearer, Clark," he said. "But don't worry. I forgive you."

"Too smart for your own good," I mumbled and dragged him back to the bedroom. He was far too quick for me, but I had finally found the secret to keeping up with him. Keep him sedated with sex. Worked for me.

~Fin