Disclaimer: Sooo not mine. No infringement intended. Rating: Adult Content
Author's Note: Sequel to I Touch Myself, http://smallville.slashdom.com/archive/37/itouch.html at SSA. Thank you so much Roxy, Caelum and KitKat for making this happen. Written for Jodie, who wanted a fic with the line: "Clark knew it was going to be the semester from hell when Lucas Luthor tried to cut in front of him in line at the bookstore."

"Oh god, please, fuck, Lex!" Clark howled as he came, spilling over his hand before wiping it off on the sheet and resting it on his rapidly rising and falling chest.

It had been two months since that night, and twice a week, every week since he had gone to Lucas to keep it a secret. The thing that twisted him up inside was not that he had tasted what it could be like with Lex, he'd been dealing with the impossibility of his desire for his friend for years, it was the sick thrill he took in his meetings with Lucas. There was something about the mix of shame and pleasure he got from the younger Luthor, and Lucas knew it. Clark never left without begging Lucas to come, pitifully, before he gave in to what his tormentor wanted and called out Lex's name.

The thing that frightened him was that the brothers were starting to merge together in his mind's eye, even while he was alone. Little details of his one night with Lex slipped away to be replaced with the familiarity of the nights he spent with Lucas. He'd just come screaming for Lex, but the phantom hands touching him had been tan, not pale, and though the head of his dream lover was smooth and hairless, the chest was not. He could still feel the brush of the tiny hairs against his own chest while Lucas fucked him, and a shiver went through him every time.

If at first a part of him had wanted Lex remember what had happened the night of the party, despite the drugs and the cover Lucas had provided, that part of him was long dead. It had died a little every time he'd looked hopefully at Lex for some spark of something and gotten nothing but the same look Lex had always given him in return, every time a friendly brush of their skin, or an accidental touch had been nothing but that, friendly and accidental. That part of him had twisted into something bitter, and resentful. Clark would never have forgotten, never, not if his drink had been laced with Kryptonite and sleeping pills.

But Lex apparently had. There were little inconsistencies that Clark half hoped, half feared that Lex would pick up on, like the bruises that stayed on his skin nearly a week when Lex had open wounds and gashes one day and nothing but smooth, white skin the next these days. No little girl named Trish could possibly have had hands that big or left bruises that lasted that long, but Lex never even questioned it. Just like Lex had never questioned Clark's torn shirt with the scraps of silk left from his own littering the floor of the library, or Clark's presence outside his door that morning. Lex hadn't asked, hadn't even quirked an eyebrow in his direction.

Just like Lex never asked Clark where he went every Wednesday night, every Thursday night, every week without fail since. Not a, "New job?" or a "New girl?" or even a "Study group?" passed Lex's lips, just the tacit understanding that Clark was unavailable. There had been a time in there friendship when Lex had been ravenous for Clark's secrets, curiosity about every facet of Clark's life so intense it had been mildly alarming at times. But now Lex just let everything go, if he even noticed anything at all.

With a heavy sigh and just a tiny pang of something deep in his chest, Clark dragged himself out of bed and into the shower. The three blissful weeks of Winter Break were over, and on to his last semester of college with the hardest classes yet to go. Lex made fun of him when he was bemoaning his return to classes, pointing out that he hadn't had three weeks off since he went on his honeymoon. Like Clark needed another reminder that Lex was unavailable, thank you very much.

Clark knew it was going to be the semester from hell when Lucas Luthor tried to cut in front of him in line at the bookstore. Okay, so maybe Clark was the one cutting in line, but this was not right. Lucas didn't go to Met U, didn't go to college at all, as far as Clark knew. And besides, they had an unspoken agreement that the only times he had to see Lucas were those Wednesday and Thursday nights when Clark had no choice about it. Well, he could let Lucas tell Lex that he'd basically raped him when Clark knew perfectly well that Lex was out of his mind on drugs and wouldn't remember it, but that wasn't really an option in his book.

"The fuck are you doing here, Lucas?"

"Buying my books, what does it look like, Kent?" Lucas pointed down at the collection of textbooks under his arm.

"You don't go to school here, Lucas. It's bad enough I have to see you as much as I do, but now you have to go and, what, stalk me? Is that it?"

Lucas looked unperturbed by the rising volume and hysteria of Clark's voice, but shot him a warning glance anyway. "I'm sure none of these people want to hear about whatever paranoid delusion you are having right now, Clark. You need to calm down."

"No, you need to leave." Clark puffed up his chest and crossed his arms in front of him in a way he hoped was intimidating. "I'll be calm as soon as you are gone."

"I've been here for 45 minutes to pay for these stupid books, I am three people away from the cashiers and I am not going to the back of the line just to make you feel better. My first class is in twenty minutes, and I don't really feel like being late on my first day of college, thank you very much."

Clark stood there gaping like a fish. Lucas was actually going to continue on with this little charade. "Fine, get your books and get out of here. I don't have time to deal with you, either."

"Are you two together?" the cashier asked dully, much to Clark's horror.

"No!" Clark practically yelled, while Lucas simultaneously said, "Yes."

"What time is your first class, Clark?" Lucas asked like Clark was some kind of mental incompetent.

"Eight, same as yours, supposedly."

"Well, the line is longer than it was when I came in here, and by then it was already winding through the Physics aisle and half way down Psychology. You'll never make it past History of the Modern World if you get in that line now."

The little prick had a point, but Clark didn't have to like it. "Fine, whatever."

"So you are together?" the clearly bored work study kid behind one of twenty cash registers set up on folding tables for the first day rush asked again.

"Yeah, I guess." Clark set his stack of books on the table next to Lucas's, ran a hand through his hair the way Lex always ran his across his scalp, and then his mouth spread into a wide grin for the first time that morning. "He's paying."

"Did you, by any chance, know that your brother is going to college here, Lex?" Clark dropped his tray onto the worn cafeteria table in front of Lex and slid into the remaining orange plastic chair.

Lex looked up from the article Clark had written on Rohypnol, date-rape and fraternity life for the school's free paper with a smirk on his face. "Did I forget to mention that?"

"Har-har. I don't suppose it's just a coincidence that he's taking Intro to Women's Studies, is it? I find it hard to believe that he just happened to pick the course I've been bitching about having to take for the last, oh, let's see, three weeks, randomly out of the course catalogue."

"What? You whined incessantly about how it was your last semester, and that nobody in the frat would take it with you, and you weren't going to know anybody, and `please, Lex, couldn't you just have Chloe killed' so you could drop it without having to enter witness relocation to avoid her wrath." Clark stuck his tongue out and threw a little piece of his roll at his head, but Lex was undeterred. "I thought you would be pleased to have someone you know in the trenches with you."

"You did not! You thought it would be funny to get me lynched by fifty femmi-nazis who haven't shaved their legs the entire time they've been at school for being associated with your perverted, chauvinistic little bastard of a brother."

"Maybe." A hint of a smile curled at the corners of Lex's mouth as he took another bit of his salad.

"He told the professor she had nice tits and then sat down right next to me, Lex. He kept snickering in class, and then asked me to back him up when he made his pitch for why prostitution is good for women!"

Lex actually laughed at that, and Clark kicked him under the table. "I hate that guy, and now all those girls think he's my best friend. And they aren't all freaks, either. Some of them were good looking and knew what to do with a bar of soap and a stick of deodorant. Girls, Lex. Girls who didn't know me from Adam until your little brother told them all I was the president of the fraternity that is currently under investigation for underage drinking and Roofies!"

"I thought you knew all the girls at Met U by now."

"I am never going to get laid now, and that was the only reason I let Chloe talk me into this in the first place."

"I highly doubt that, Clark."

"How can you say that?! Those girls are never going to look at me without thinking what a degenerate male oppressor slime I am again."

"Oh, I'm sure you're right about that. I just don't believe that sex with the unshaved masses is the reason you let Chloe talk you into it."

"You are such a bastard."

"No, that would be Lucas. You'd think you wouldn't get us confused like that after all this time. Just try to remember it this way, I'm the bald one."

"So do you wanna be my study buddy?" Lucas whispered wetly in Clark's ear as he swung his thighs over Clark's and wrapped his arms around Clark's neck.

Clark shoved him with just a little less force than necessary to actually dump Lucas on the floor in the middle of the library, and thereby attracting everyone's attention. He grabbed Lucas roughly by the arm and dragged him behind the stacks lined with periodicals no one had opened since the Reagan administration. Lucas just looked up at him with a slightly feral glint in his eyes and let Clark shake him like a rag doll.

"Are you insane? I mean, I know insanity runs in your family, but did you really just straddle my lap in a public place?"

"It's possible, I suppose. I do have it coming on both sides." Lucas smirked with the same infuriating smirk Lex used, and pressed his body against Clark. "Why? Did you not want all the other boys to know you're screwing me? Do you think they might be jealous?"

"I hate you." Clark closed his eyes and leaned back against the stack. Lucas leaned into him and slid his fingers into Clark's hair.

"I know." Lucas kissed him, hard and hot, and somehow managed to slip a hand down the front of Clark's loose jeans at the same time.

Clark snarled and bit at Lucas's mouth, kissed back hard enough to bruise and thrust up into the familiar heat of Lucas's hand. Lucas knew just how he liked it, the right rhythm and the right pressure to get him off in no time flat. Clark tried not to moan, but all he could do was muffle his mouth on Lucas's throat and try not to call out Lex's name.

"So, you and Lucas seem to be getting on better these days." Lex wound his spaghetti around the fork in the bowl of his spoon while Clark sucked his down with a slurp.

"It was either that or strangle him in his sleep. I have class with him four days a week and the professor insisted on pairing us up as study partners." Clark continued to shovel his pasta with one hand and devour the garlic bread he used to sop up the leftover sauce.

"I'd think she would want you two to partner with some of the girls in the class so that you could get a woman's perspective on things." The wine shone deep red where the light from one of the drippy candles in vinegar bottle candle sticks flickered when Lex lifted the glass to his lips.

"Yes, well, that would be great if there were any girls in the class willing to partner with Lucas. And I'm not much more popular, either. There is only one girl in the class willing to partner with me, and I know I slept with her last year but I can't remember her name."

"Which is awkward." Lex nodded knowingly.

"Exactly." Clark took a gigantic bite of meatball, then proceeded to talk with his mouth full. "It was a really tough decision. Given a choice between a scary girl who could make things awkward with our sorority connection and your oh-so-smooth, excuse for a human being brother, I went with the evil whose name I could remember. Besides, no one else will talk to Lucas."

"Sounds like a wise decision." Lex leaned across the table to wipe off some sauce that had smeared onto Clark's cheek when he attacked the meatball. "He's not a bad guy once you get to know him."

"Yes, he is," Clark looked at Lex solemnly until the fingers withdrew, "but he's still better than a sorority girl with a vendetta. I certainly don't want to wake up with a dead girl in my bed."

"You know, I might have forgotten that image someday if you weren't here to remind me. Whatever would I do without you?" Lex smirked and then abruptly changed the subject. "So you don't think you can get him a date for the Lillian Foundation Black and White Ball on Saturday, then?"

"Absolutely not." Clark shook his head a definitively. "I don't hate anyone enough to send them out with Lucas."

"He slept his way through the society girls a few years ago and no one in our circle will be seen with him, now." Lex had on his determined face, which never failed to unnerve Clark when it was directed at him.

"Why can't you make him get his own date?" Whining was always a good option in situations like these, but Lex wasn't having it this time.

"I wouldn't let the trash he dates anywhere near the Lillian Foundation. Come on, Clark, I need you."

"No way. Let him come by himself for all I care."

"It will ruin the seating chart if he comes by himself. Singles are hard to place."

"Well, then you have two problems, because I'm coming stag, too."

"In that case, problem solved. I'll just seat you with him."

"You wouldn't."

As it turned out, he would. Clark stood in the sparkling ballroom wearing the tux he had finally just broken down a bought a few years ago, tugging on the neck and trying to avoid Lucas. It wasn't bad enough that he'd had every Wednesday and Thursday night for nearly four months stolen from him, his easy class for the semester hijacked and turned into hell, and entirely more study sessions in the library diverted to less constructive pursuits. Nope. Now Lucas was invading his Lex time and that was just not fair.

While he stood watching through all the black and white clad socialites for the tackiest red tuxedo jacket ever made, Lucas had somehow managed to walk up behind him without his notice. It was a surprise to Clark when he suddenly felt the heat of another body at his back and the warm, humid air of another person's breath across his neck when Lucas spoke.

"Looking for someone?" Clark could feel Lucas's amusement like a palpable force.

He didn't turn to look at Lucas, just continued to look out at the sea of bodies on the dance floor and let Lucas move forward to stand at his side. "Why would I need to look for someone whose jacket stands out like a homing beacon? You did get the memo that it was a Black and White Ball, didn't you? Or are you just that color blind?"

"I wouldn't criticize anyone's fashion sense if I were you, farm boy."

"Hey, at least my clothes don't clash with the dcor."

"No, they go perfectly with the table clothes, the napkins, and, oh yes, the waiters."

"I think the gender sensitive term is wait staff, you patriarchal male chauvinist pig."

"And speaking of patriarchs, did you see who Dad had the nerve to bring this year?"

"Lionel may be the only person on the planet I want to spend time with less than you. Why would I care who he brought?"

"Lana Lang."

"No way. Lana is too smart to get herself mixed up with you Luthors again."

"No doubt she's smarter than you, but she's also hanging off Dad's arm like a particularly sparkly accessory."

"Speak of the Devil." Clark saw the sea of bodies part as none other than Lionel Luthor and Lana Lang headed straight towards the red jacket homing beacon. "Quick, hide me. Or, better yet, let's just get out of here."

"You took the words right out of my mouth." Lucas smile covertly when Clark unconsciously grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the nearest exit.

Forty-five minutes later, when someone opened the door and slipped inside the coatroom, Clark yelled from behind a particularly large fur coat in the back of the small space.

"Go find your own room! We were here first." The coats rustled all around them as Clark thrust him self into Lucas's mouth one last time.

"Clark?" Lex's voice seemed to echo in the tiny room while Clark and Lucas shoved and pulled at their clothes frantically. "Is that you?"

"Lex!" Clark half yelped, half moaned. He took a moment to calm his erratic breathing for just a moment and will the flush on his cheeks away as he zipped up his rumpled pants. "Um, would you believe no?"

"About at much as I believe Lana is marrying my father for love."

"You can't be serious." He stepped out from behind the coat that screened him from Lex's view while motioning for Lucas to stay as subtly as he could.

"Dad's marrying that bitch?" Clark groaned as Lucas came out right behind him.

"He needs a wholesome family image." Lex looked away from Clark and shrugged.

"What are we, chopped liver?" Lucas asked, still adjusting himself and zipping up his fly.

"You mean the freak heir with a shady past and the bastard debauching the other boys in the coat closet?"

"Point taken."

"It's not what it looks like, Lex." Clark met Lex's gaze and silently begged him to understand.

"You mean you weren't back there sucking off my brother, who you profess to hate?"

"No." Lex shot him one of those looks that meant he couldn't believe Clark would bother to lie when the truth was obvious. Clark swallowed hard, but didn't look away. "He was sucking me off."

"And damn well, if I do say so myself." Lucas gasped when Clark elbowed him in the ribs.

"I see." Lex's blue eyes never strayed from the green eyes locked with his. "Something you want to tell me about, Clark?"

"Not really, no." Please, don't make me say it. Please, don't make me lie to you again.

"Christ, Kent. It was just a blowjob in the coat closet; it's not like I proposed. God, get a spine, man."

"Shut up, Lucas," both other men growled.

"Like it's a federal crime to give your boyfriend a blowjob!"

Clark spluttered at Lucas's declaration. "I am not your boyfriend!"

"Boyfriend, lover, fuck-buddy. Whatever." Lucas rolled his eyes and dismissed it with a flourish of his hands.

"I'm going to kill you. I'm actually going to kill you, you obnoxious little bastard."

"What?! We've been fucking for a looong time. It's not like you could keep it from Lex forever."

"Lucas you have exactly twenty seconds to get out of here before I kill you, and unlike Clark, I do mean it." Lex was serious and they all knew it.

"Whatever. See you tomorrow, Clark."

And then Lucas was gone and the size of the room decreased so rapidly it seemed to collapse in on them. The closet the size of a matchbox was hard to breathe in, but worse it was silent. Lex had sent Lucas away, but didn't say another word for what seemed like hours. If Clark were still wearing a tie, he would have loosened it, but if he loosened anything now, he'd be taking his clothes off. In a coat closet with Lex. Which would be all kinds of bad.

"Well?" Lex finally spoke.

"I'm sorry."

"Is that all you have to say?"

"I'm really sorry?"

"He's Wednesday and Thursday nights." Lex kept on despite Clark's furious blush. "How long have you two been together?"

"We aren't together. We've never been together. I mean, it's not like we're dating." Lex looked at him skeptically. "We still see other people."

"We'll just ignore for a second the fact that you haven't seen anyone else in months, for now. When did you first start sleeping with him?"

Clark looked at his feet, the once shiny leather dress shoes now creased and dull from wear and neglect. He really ought to take better care of his shoes. Perhaps he would just go down to the lobby and have the man with the funny chair with stirrups shine his shoes. How much were you supposed to tip the shoe shine man, anyway? Was 15% standard, like for waitresses? Lex would know, but then Lex always tipped entirely too much, and a poor college student couldn't possibly afford to tip like a CEO.

"Clark!" Lex broke his train of thought with a hand tilting his chin up to look into those blue eyes that never wavered in his fantasies. Always blue, always pure Lex. Lex who was standing very close and touching him. Close enough to kiss, but still miles away. "Snap out of it."

"Sorry." His eyes wanted to look away, but stayed locked on Lex regardless.

"Tell me when."

"Your wedding." Clark felt bereft when Lex's fingers fell away from his face.

"You've been sleeping with my brother since my wedding? Two years and you didn't tell me." This time Lex looked away and began to move toward the door.

"I haven't been sleeping with him all that time." Clark grabbed the Lex's arm to stop him from turning away. "Just, you know, some of the time. We had a thing for a few months after your wedding, and then after his party...I...we...it's just...fuck."

"Are you in love with him?"

"No!" Clark couldn't help yelping at the ridiculous question. "I hate him."

"You don't hate him."

"I do. Or, at least I did. I don't know. He's a bastard, but he kinda grows on you after awhile. Like mold, or fungus, or mildew, or something. No, wait, flesh eating bacteria!"

"I like him occasionally. It's okay if you like him, too."

"He's your brother. You have to like him."

"No, I really don't. He's an arrogant, manipulative, self-centered son of a bitch. But that's probably genetic, so I can't hold it against him. Clark, you've been more of a brother to me than he ever could be. You keep me sane. I love you more than I will ever love him. So if he makes you happy, you have my blessing. I just wish you trusted me enough to tell me."

"I... No. I don't want your blessing. I don't love him. He makes me miserable, and you're right. He is an annoying, arrogant, self-centered, manipulative asshole. Most of the time I want to beat the crap out of him. And I do trust you, but it's humiliating and if I told you... If I told you, it would be real."

"Oh god, why are you doing this to me? Please, please, don't stop, please."

Lucas stayed perfectly still. "You know what I want."

"No! No, no, no." Clark shook his head against the soft pillow and sank further into the bed. Writhing his hips around to get the friction he so desperately desired came to nothing, as Lucas simply moved with him and kept his fist tight around the base of Clark's cock. He didn't trust himself not to break Lucas's wrist in an attempt to finish himself off, so he kept his hands clenched tightly in sheets so smooth they could have come off Lex's bed.

"I want this more than you want to come." Lucas punctuated the statement with a quick thrust deeper inside Clark. "Give in, Clark."

"Fuck!" Clark was starting to sweat, a drop trickled down his forehead along his hairline and down the back of his neck. He tried to calm down, tried to will himself some control, but he could feel Lucas inside him, feel the slight pulse of blood in his cock so hard it might burst, the tip barely rubbing his prostate with every breath. There was no way to calm down, not now.

There was always the option to throw Lucas off him and either take a cold shower or finish himself off, but Lucas was unpredictable and he might decide that that violated their agreement. Then, not only would he not be coming, he wouldn't be required to endure the presence of either Luthor, and Clark didn't think he could stand that. Not that he would miss Lucas, but Lex...fuck, Lex.

"Fine! Yes, now fuck me, you bastard."

"Clark, were you just holding my brother's hand?" Lex looked surprised when Clark blushed and bobbed his head like he had in Smallville. "Something you want to tell me?"

"I may have been mistaken about Lucas not being my boyfriend." Clark wanted to slit his wrists and die in a tub of liquid Kryptonite. Or drink. Heavily. Very heavily.

"I see." The light in Lex's face dimmed a split second before the lights signaling the end of intermission.

"I still hate him." Fumbling with the opera glasses seemed like a good idea right about then.

"That makes it so much better, Clark."

At that moment, Lena and Lucas pushed past the heavy velvet curtain and stepped into the box. Lex stood and kissed Lena's hand before taking their seats. Lucas looked at Clark expectantly, but Clark remained seated. Lucas paid him no mind. He sat down and nuzzled Clark's ear.

"Kiss me now, or I give you a hand job during the next act." The hot air across his neck as Lucas whispered made him seriously consider letting Lucas do whatever he wanted for a minute before he turned his head and kissed Lucas chastely on the lips. He'd never be able to keep quiet with Lex less than two feet away. Lucas left his hand on Clark's thigh all the way through the curtain call.

"What the fuck is this, Lucas?"

The paper fluttered to the laminate surface of the cafeteria table, followed immediately by Clark's hand slamming down on top of it. The table groaned, but Lucas simply looked up coolly.

"I have always assumed that you possessed the ability to identify the publication for which you write. Do you need to get your eyes checked?"

"There is a picture of us kissing in the school newspaper," Clark hissed under his breath.

"How do I look?"

"No one was supposed to know about..." Clark waved his hands in the air between the two of them, "this."

"Clark, first of all, I promised no public displays of affection on campus, not that no one would ever know. Secondly, all that grainy, black and white photo shows is the back of your head, hardly enough for anyone to ID you. All anyone is going to know from that picture is that there were two boys at the opening night of La Traviata who really get off on opera. You can't see either of our faces and there is no mention of either of our names."

"I could kill you. If my frat finds out I'm fucking around with the Luthor bastard I'll be homeless for the last month of my school career. It was bad enough trying to explain Lex when I was a freshman, and we weren't even doing anything."

"Don't be so dramatic. You wouldn't be homeless. You'd come live with me."

"I'd rather live in a cardboard box under the 16th Street overpass."

"Well, that is a very attractive area. Convenient to campus and downtown. I can see the appeal."

"I hate you."

"You've mentioned that before."

The cocktail party in honor of Lena's thirtieth birthday was not Clark's idea of a good time, especially after he'd rounded a corner only to find Lex pressed up against the guest of honor, kissing her within an inch of her life. Grabbing Lucas by the hand and dragging him into the men's room seemed like a perfectly logical reaction. Clark flipped Lucas around and pressed him into the wall while he fucked him and stroked him in time. It didn't take long for them both to grunt their completion, and tuck themselves back in before exiting the rather comfortably sized stall.

Lex was standing at the sinks washing his hands, and shaking a little when they emerged from the now very inviting stall. Clark almost turned around and went back in, but sucked it up and walked over to the sink next to Lex. He paid particular attention to turning the long silver leaver of the tap, mixing just the right amounts of hot and cold before reaching across where Lex was leaning against the counter to get a pump of foamy soap.

Lucas bumped his hip into Clark's as he walked over to the hand drier. "Having a good time, big brother?"

Lex, now half sitting, half leaning on the stone counter, ran a shaky hand back over his head and took a breath. "Wonderful."

"Everything looks really nice, Lex. I'm sure Lena is enjoying herself. She was made for cocktail parties." Clark couldn't rinse his hands any cleaner. He crossed the room to Lucas to dry his hands.

"Unlike some people who wear the same thing to every single event." Lucas smirked and bumped their shoulders together.

"You two are obviously having a fine time." Clark loved the way the scar on Lex's lip twisted when his mouth made that perfect little moue. It was as close as Lex got to outright pouting and it made Clark's heart clench.

"The amenities are fabulous." Lucas slid his fingers between Clark's and pulled him toward the door.

"It really is a great party, Lex." Clark smiled apologetically and followed Lucas.

Graduation was an enormous affair. Between the frat's kegger, the paper's party, school organized events, packing all his crap, and looking for an apartment, Clark hadn't had time to spend any quality time with anyone. And he still had to pick up Chloe at the airport and get down to the huge to do at the castle in Smallville for his parents to show off their conquering graduate and all his friends to celebrate. He'd have to throw his cap and gown on over the jeans and t-shirt that had shrunk in the wash, because he didn't even know where any of his other clothes were, not even his well worn tuxedo. Maybe there was something in his closet at the farm, but there wouldn't be time.

Chloe's flight was late getting in and then she talked about life in Gotham non-stop all the way home. She was dating some boy who sounded just enough like a circus freak for him to have grown up in Smallville, and that was probably what Chloe loved about him. She thought maybe he would propose when she went back to start her job in a few weeks. They sounded like a match made in heaven, and Clark was insanely jealous. All Clark had was unrequited love, and a boy who got off on manipulating him.

By the time they arrived at the party they were a bit more than fashionably late, especially for the guest of honor. There would be no time for a wardrobe change. Unlike the last party Clark had attended here, this time the road was lined in sensible cars like Fords and Volkswagens and trucks. Clark snorted and felt less like the hick visitor when he passed a tractor that had been valet parked.

No karaoke tonight, he noticed. Thank god. Nobody he really wanted to see, either, though. Pete hadn't been able to make it home since his graduation wasn't until next week, and aside from his parents and Chloe, everyone from Smallville was either someone he'd rather not spend time with if given a choice, or dead. But wait, in a sea of plaid flannel and floral prints, a tacky, red tuxedo jacket swam toward him. Clark had never been so happy to see Lucas in his entire life.

Though he knew that Lucas had no tact whatsoever, Clark had certainly not been expecting for Lucas to out him to Smallville at his graduation party. Therefore, he was surprised when Lucas walked up to him, slid his hands in Clark's messy black hair and pulled him down for a searing kiss. So accustomed to Lucas's mouth on his had Clark become, that his body responded automatically without first checking with his brain to see if that was a wise choice right there in front of all his parents' friends.

Oh, god. His parents. He most certainly had not told his parents about his dilemma with Lucas. Or that he was, you know, gay. Or bi. Whatever. It was all the same thing in Smallville. His parents were going to kill him. And now they would never believe him that there hadn't been something going on between him and Lex for those six months Clark's senior year of high school when his pining had reached epic proportions.

But the damage was already done, and nothing he could do now could make it any better or worse than it already was, so Clark kissed back. He slid a hand under the silly red jacket up under the hem of the t-shirt underneath and felt warm skin. God, it had been too long. Two weeks! He hadn't gone without sex that long since, well, he couldn't remember, but it had been a long time. Just as he was about to pull Lucas off to one of the many unused rooms in the castle he became aware of wolf-whistles and cat-calling.

He pulled their faces apart, but left his arms wrapped around Lucas. It was better to be thought gay and in love, than gay and in some kind of twisted relationship with a guy he hated. His parents had freaked about Lex, and there hadn't even been anything going on there but a sever case of unrequited love. If they found out about his real relationship with Lucas, they might actually disown him. Besides, it didn't hurt anybody for him to pretend it was real for just one night.

"Something you want to tell us, son?" Jonathon Kent looked down at Clark's arms wrapped snuggly around Lucas's waist.

"I'm seeing someone?"

"You must be Clark's... boyfriend." Martha held out her hand. "I'm Clark's mother, Martha, and this is his father, Jonathon."

Lucas shook first Martha, then Jonathon's hands. "Very pleased to meet you, Martha, Jonathon. I'm Lucas Dunleavy. You have a very special son."

"Well, we've always known our boy was special." Jonathon puffed his chest out in pride just a little as he slung an arm around his wife's shoulders. "So do you go up to the University with Clark?"

"We were the only two boys in Women's Studies this semester. We were study partners."

"You took Women's Studies?" Martha looked proudly at her son before pulling him into a tight hug. "Chloe's idea?"

Clark nodded and took a step away from Lucas. "Where's Lex?"

"Well, Mr. King of the Castle walked around glad handing all the guests. He was here just a minute ago. Probably off somewhere drinking; he smelled a like a distillery when I saw him."

"Jonathon!" Martha batted playfully at her husband's arm. "I'm sure he's just letting you have the spotlight on your special day, honey."

"It's okay, Mom. I've known Lex for a long time. I'm pretty sure I know where he is."

"Pardon me son, but do you mind if I borrow your young man for a few minutes? I'd like to introduce him to some people."

Clark looked at Lucas for confirmation, then nodded his head. He almost felt bad for Lucas when he envisioned the evening ahead, but then decided the brat could use it. Instead, he excused himself from his mother and made his way to the library. If it were anywhere else, he'd check the coat closet first, but Lex was like a homing pigeon in this house. Sure enough, when he opened the doors he found Lex sitting in front of a fire, an empty glass in his hand.

"Clark." Lex didn't look up, but he clearly knew he wasn't alone anymore.

"Too much wholesome fun for you in the ballroom?"

"Not enough alcohol."

"Is there any alcohol in there? I can't imagine my mother supplying liquor to half the drunks in Lowell County."

"No, just me. It's my liquor and I don't intend to share it with the masses."

"You look like you're having a bad day." Clark dropped down beside Lex on the black leather couch and put a concerned hand on his thigh.

"You could say that." Lex still had yet to look away from the fire, but he turned his head to look at Clark now. "Lena left me."

"Oh, Lex. I'm so sorry." Clark pulled his friend into a warm hug, Lex boneless in his arms. "She seemed so perfect for you."

"She was." Lex burrowed his face into the crick of Clark's neck. Clark could smell the Scotch on his breath when he spoke. "So perfect she could see right through me, and knew when to cut her losses."

One of his big hands brushed up and down the soft material covering Lex's back in what Clark hoped was a consoling fashion. "Hey, at least she didn't try to kill you on her way out."

Lex snorted and curled into Clark's chest. "How is it that no matter what I do, no one ever really loves me, Clark?"

"There are people who love you, Lex. I love you. You're my best friend in the world."

"That's not the kind of love I was talking about, but I'll take what I can get."

Clark didn't know what to say, so he said nothing. He held Lex in front of the fire in silence, still stroking his back and rocking. After a few minutes Lex felt heavier and his breathing evened out. Clark looked down at the sleeping man in his arms, and couldn't resist kissing the top of his head. When Lex made a happy murmur in his sleep, Clark kissed him again, on the crease of his eye, then one on the cheek, then brushed his lips lightly across Lex's just as his eyes fluttered open.

"You love him."

"Who?"

"Lucas. You remember my brother, the one whose throat you just stuck your tongue down in front of the entire population of Smallville. You introduced him to your parents, Clark."

"I... No! I hate Lucas. Kinda. I don't know. Does it matter?"

"Yes! You've been seeing him longer than anyone you've ever been with, you introduced him to your family, and you came out of the closet for him in front of everyone you know."

"That doesn't mean I love him." Clark looked at Lex, skin honey colored in the fire light. "Does it?"

"No one has ever loved me that much."

"I have." Clark interrupted the bizarre train of thought Lex was currently pursuing. Clark didn't love Lucas. He couldn't. It wasn't really possible, was it? No. Definitely not. Maybe. But Clark knew one thing for sure. "I have loved you that much. I've been in love with you since I was a kid. I told my parents I was in love with you my senior year. Dad wanted to bury you on the back forty."

"NO!" Lex surged up out of Clark's arms. "You can fucking lie to me about anything else, Clark, anything but that."

Clark looked down at his hands lying useless in his lap now that Lex was gone. "I'm not lying, Lex."

"No. I believed you the last time, but I am not that drunk, now." Lex belied his statement by swaying dangerously and landing in a heap on Clark's lap. "Why are you doing it this time, the fear of commitment hit you when your fucking father welcomed him with open arms?"

Clark stiffened. "What are you talking about? What do you mean the last time?

"I mean the last time I believed you. The last time you told me you loved me. The last time we were in this room together. The last time we made love and I woke up with some girl in my bed and you kissing my brother in the hall. Does any of this ring a bell?"

"Oh. My. God." Clark sat stunned for a minute before he reached his hand up and brushed his thumb along Lex's cheek bone, pulled him down, and rested their foreheads together. "You remember."

"Of course I remember! My best friend doesn't tell me he's in love with me every day, then dump me in the morning and act like nothing happened. I assure you that sort of memory tends to stick out."

"Oh, god. Lex. Lex, Lex, Lex." Clark cupped both hands around the curve of Lex's head and rained butterfly kisses all over his face. "I love you. I love you so much, but I thought you didn't remember and you're married and Lucas..."

Lex jerked away again. "Yes, Lucas. Were you just trying to make him jealous by sleeping with me? Is that why you've been torturing me like this? Tell me you love me and then kiss Lucas in front of me every chance you get? Drive me so mad with jealousy my wife leaves me? Did the two of you have a good laugh?"

"NO!" Clark jumped up and walked toward the fire. "I didn't know, I swear I didn't know you remembered. I thought," Clark gulped and felt himself shaking, "I thought you would hate me if you knew. I took advantage of you and I didn't want you to know. There was Rohypnol in your drink. You would have fucked the valet and promised him your undying love. It wasn't real."

"Clark," Lex was suddenly beside him, so close and caressing his face, "aside from the karaoke nightmare, which never happened, I remember everything, and I assure you that at least on my part, it was very real. On the pool table, and then in my bed, you told me you loved me and I've never wanted anything else. You gave me everything I've ever wanted, and took it away all in the same night."

"I never would have let Lucas send that girl in there if I had known you remembered. Fuck," Clark ran a hand through his hair, "I never would have gotten involved with him again in the first place if I had known."

Jonathon and Martha were disappointed that Clark and that charming Lucas boy broke up, but welcomed Lex with a resigned sort of acceptance fairly quickly. Perhaps they had known it was inevitable. People in town had always assumed that Lex and Clark were together and took it in stride. It surprised Lex more than any of them that things were simply the way they had always been, Lex fitting in Clark's life just perfectly, much like Clark's things in Lex's penthouse.

The real surprise came one day a few days after Clark moved in with Lex, when he received a card in the mail addressed to him in Lucas's handwriting on hotel stationary. It said simply, "I don't want anybody else." They found his body a few days later in the tub of that same hotel, the place where he and Clark had stayed the weekend after midterms.

Clark went with Lex to identify the body. Lucas looked so pale. Clark brushed the hair out of his eyes one last time, and they rolled the body away. The medical examiner ruled it a suicide. The police kept the note as evidence. If there were suspicious circumstances surrounding his death, nobody mentioned it. Internal Luthor family affairs were best left private.

And if some nights Clark shivered at the light brush of soft hairs against his chest while his dream lover fucked him on soft sheets, or moaned at the feel thick hair between his fingers while his dream lover sucked him off against a dirty bathroom stall, he always called Lex's name when he came.