College was a Bad Thing. Clark had decided this fact and mentally assigned the capitals in his head to express his displeasure at the impact the whole concept had on the comfortable routine of his life. Sure, Lex came home fairly frequently, but not every weekend like before. It seemed that the gaps got longer, and he would come back from school all hopeful on a Friday night and look to Mom only to get a pat on the head and gentle words that told him his brother wouldn't be back this weekend after all.

This time seemed like forever, possibly the longest time that he had gone without seeing his brother ever. It had been four missed weekends and he had hoped so much that Lex would be back this time, but there had been no call, no e-mail to tell him either way. It looked like he was alone again for another long slow dragging weekend and for all he knew another month. To someone of his age, it was an unbearable eternity and might as well have been labeled as 'forever' in his own thoughts.

Clark moped in the house. He moped in Lex's bedroom, staring at Lex's things, their presence underlining his brother's absence. He moped at school, until a note got sent back to Martha concerned that there was some problem in the family to cause such a change in his usually happy personality. He slunk around, trailing his own personal thunder cloud of resentment at the mere suggestion that someone might hint that he should be cheering up. When he was bored of moping around the farm, he moped at Pete's or Chloe's or one of the others on the principle that misery loves company. When they got fed up with him, he came back and continued his marathon mope around the farm again.

It wasn't fair. E-mail wasn't the same as seeing Lex, being with his brother. Everything seemed so much more interesting with him to talk to, and he just felt safer and more secure with him there. There was someone to talk to about the things that he just couldn't talk to his parents about even though he shared most things with them. There was someone who seemed pleased when he did something new, rather than looking worried. He could be himself around Lex and not worry that he might get into trouble or receive a lecture about how important it was to be normal and how he had to be on his guard.

His mood turned surly and somewhat resentful, shifting with the quixotic logic of the young. Here he was, another weekend and Pete wasn't even in to go and bother, and Lex wouldn't be back. Well fine, he was better off on his own anyway! He could find something cool to do... alone.

Resolved, he wandered outside, looking for inspiration in the near winter air, the sky above him pale blue --like his brothers eyes -- and his breath rising in pale gusts as he scuffed at the frost hardened ground. His unruly dark hair fluffed in the uncertain wintry breeze and the sunlight barely gilded the last few leaves that clung doggedly to the skeletons of the trees with a hint of pale gold. Early winter in Smallville, all alone. What could he do?

Inspiration tended to hit people when they least expected. He remembered the time he'd tried to run away, even though he had been very young then -- silly, stupid attempt that it had been -- and how Lex had somehow found him.

Only Lex was in Metropolis, and that was all Lex talked about when he did come home. College this, college that, in class this, and then he'd dared to talk about an internship somewhere over the summer? That had meant even less Lex. Maybe he could try out his running again and would have something interesting to get his brother's attention with when he came back. Some tests of his own and Lex might think there was something to come back to Smallville for this coming summer and then there would be all that time together and everything would be better than ever.

So the idea hit Clark hard and with a simplicity that made a certain amount of sense to him, at least when it came to being bored and missing his brother like crazy. He'd go for a run. Running was good and it might just burn off some of his anger and displeasure. Maybe. And if he ran up to the far pasture he could look over at Metropolis and maybe he could see where the university was and imagine that Lex wasn't so far away after all and it wasn't so bad.

His Mom was around the back getting some wood, and she would just assume that he' gone to catch up with his father as he sometimes did. That meant he had a good few hours to himself before the shouting started. That would be enough. The air was bright and clear and it felt good just ... to run, with no other purpose than going fast.

He was a blur of speed across their farm, faster than ever. He ran to the farthest corner of the farm and looked out across the land beyond, seeing the city sprawled out, green eyes trying to locate where his brother might be. He even gave a small private little wave to the city, not actually saying anything aloud but sending a mentally wistful hello to his brother a little self-consciously. He was tempted to keep going to Metropolis knowing he could make the distance and then remembering that he would really get into trouble over that, he decided the farm would do as his racetrack. He ran the perimeter, field by field. He experimented a little with running and then jumping, only his jumps left mini-dents in the ground and covered spectacular distances. He ran everywhere there was to run and tried to forget he was alone.

Only it was hard not to think about it. Hard not to think he was losing something, moment by moment as Lex grew up, and he was growing up much more quickly than Clark was and was leaving him behind. He was tall, and smart and at college and... it wasn't FAIR!

Even though he promised not to be angry about not seeing him, about sharing Lex with the world, sometimes that resolution slipped. There was only so much sacrificing a ten year old could cope with, and right now sullenness was settled over his usually happy personality, demanding that his brother should pay him as much attention as Clark devoted to him.

Unfortunately, sullenness was distracting and his random running grew angry and erratic, and accidentally took him straight through a place he had avoided for years: the small woods where he'd gotten lost and Lex had found him on the day his parents had told him about his origins. Perhaps it had been a subconscious decision, but either way he was headed right for it.

This time Lex wasn't there to remind him why going through those woods wasn't a good idea, and he was too wrapped up in feelings of loneliness and jealousy to avoid it. Why should he? The speed he held currently, he should be in and out of the area in a matter of seconds.

He burst in through the foliage towards the heart of wood, intending to swing round and head back home only... something was wrong. A wave of nausea seemed to hit him like a palpable blow. He lurched, and got as far as thinking about turning back, but when he twisted, still going too fast to arc back, it was already too late.

He had hit the other edge of the grown over impact hole, less steep but no less treacherous. He couldn't stop in time. The momentum carried him right over the edge despite his attempts to stop, and pitched him through brambles down into the heart of the shrubby filled pit. It felt like it had literally sucked him in, and that gravity had suddenly clenched him in its grasp, squeezing him tight, crushing every muscle into inexplicable weakness. Not agony though, he remembered that with a sudden spike of fearful recollection. He remembered the pain he had experienced the last time something like this had happened and instinctively he wanted to get away from the possibility of that happening again. Clark weakly pushed himself up trying to crawl up the slope out of there, away from that oppressive sick feeling that scared him. He felt like his blood was draining out of him, along with all his strength and his heart was pounding rapidly as he wished really hard that someone knew where he was.

No one did. And he wasn't little any more; he could get out of this if he just remained calm like Lex would. Panicking wasn't going to help. Focusing his little remaining strength he began a slow climb up the incline behind him, making his way up little by little with an expression of determination.

Midway up, Clark's hand reached for a rocky protrusion and gripped hard to get leverage and he almost screamed at the unexpected jolt of agony from his hand as he gripped the rock. He collapsed back, and his sudden shift in weight loosed the earth and rock and it tumbled down with him to the bottom of the hole again, ripping his shirt and settling onto him along with a smattering of dirt. The rock, gleaming with a green glow now, was no great size, but it might as well have been a boulder as it sat there on his chest. A boulder of pain and nausea and fear pinning him alone here in this hole, burning and shriveling his skin over and over where it touched him through a rip in his shirt. He lay there gasping, the shock robbing him of the ability to cry out, even though he tried. His desperate calls for his mom, his dad and his Lex were whispers in the strangely silent wood, their sounds swallowed by the undergrowth as he tried to muster the strength to push himself up. And failed.

No one knew he was even here... and after awhile, lacking the strength to do anything but feel pain settling into his bones, and an illness that was so profound that it robbed him of anything but the agonizing awareness of that rock resting on his skin burning him with weakness and pain, Clark wasn't conscious enough to attempt to move.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been there. Only that it hurt and that he wanted to be anywhere else than where he was just then. He fleetingly thought that if he hadn't run away, he'd at least be able to see Lex sometime because now, he was finding it more and more of an effort to breathe. It took all his effort just to do that as his body seemed filled with fire and ice and pain and there was a creeping awareness that he might not see any of his family again. The fear was so crushingly heavy on him with the pain that had twisted his senses so tightly, that he didn't notice being jostled. The rock was brushed off of him, and someone was lifting him up carefully, mumbling words to him that he couldn't quite make out.

He was trying to listen now. Some of that immediate paralyzing weakness had faded, but the pain lingered, buried deep and etched into his bones from prolonged exposure. Who had found him? No one knew he was here and his throat seemed so tight that his words came out as painful gasps.

"Shhh, c'mon. We're going home." He could feel the jostle of his rescuer stumbling, being carried away, up with arms almost not quite strong enough, and then the pain really started to fade.

It was a few moments, but without the pain Clark could open his eyes, blinking at the light that seemed sharp and bright. He looked up to see that it was Lex carrying him. Maybe he was dreaming, and still stuck in the hole. If he was, he didn't care.

"...Lex?" he managed in a voice barely above a whisper and sounding very sorry for himself and scared.

"Christ. What the fuck is with that hole? Mom and Dad should get it filled in, and you shouldn't run off like that," Lex hissed at him, walking further through the woods to arc back towards the house. "We were worried!"

Even better. Lex was back and he was angry at him. He wasn't quite making sense of the words, but Lex was angry. He wouldn't want to hold him when he was angry and he could walk... he hoped. Clark flailed a little to get down, trying to turn his face away from his brother so he wouldn't see his own upset at the harsh tone.

"Hey, hey, hold still." Lex swallowed, and clutched Clark tighter, trying not to lose his balance as he picked his way through the woods slowly. "I've got you, and we'll be home soon. Just don't flail."

"Can walk." Clark mumbled using some of his regained strength to push loose to the ground. His stubborn attempt to be independent lasted all of about three steps and his foot nudged into another rock. "I feel f..." He was saying as he turned to look at Lex, when his expression altered to one of horror and disbelief as the wave of pain swept up him and he crumpled like a puppet that had had its strings cut.

Lex made a dive for him. He caught him, but not with the speed and grace that Clark could have managed. He still made the catch, though, and twisted him around immediately to look into his face. "What the hell do you think you're doing, scaring me like that, Clark?"

If Lex thought Clark was messing around, one look at his face convinced him otherwise. The healthy color had fled from his skin, and his eyes were momentarily terrified before they glazed over again. From a sulky, upset boy he seemed to have reverted suddenly back to being at death's door. His foot and up his leg burning in agony where it had impacted against the stone, much more than stubbing it could ever have warranted.

"Hurts... leg...." he choked out finding it difficult to breathe now again. He coughed weakly, not caring that he sounded pathetic. He was and he knew it.

Lex shifted, tried to pull to his feet as quickly as possible, and dragged Clark up with him. "Shit... c'mon, just hold still for me and we'll get you into the house..."

There wasn't any argument at all, because Clark had gone deathly pale, with an almost greenish cast to his face and his eyes had rolled back in his head, drifting him into unconsciousness. Not even in sleep was he that still, and his hair was sweat damped to his clammy skin. It was patently obvious this was no attention-seeking device, not now.

At least he was still. Lex lurched to his feet properly, and started to jog towards the house with Clark in his arms. "Dad! Mom! I found him!"

Martha looked up from where she had been searching one of the fields near the barn at his call and ran to intercept him. "Jonathan! Lex has found him!"

"Dear God, Lex!" Martha's expression was horrified as she took in the limp form of her youngest son. There was color back in his cheeks though, and he seemed to be breathing normally. "Is... is he hurt?"

"I can't tell. He couldn't walk." Lex was breathing hard but steady, and kept walking towards the house. "Lay him down, get some water in him, see if you can get him to wake up. There's something I have to go look at."

"Where was he? In those woods?" Martha asked pushing the door open so Lex could take him in. "He never goes in those woods, he hates them... Over here, honey, on the couch," she gestured desperately, needing to check over her youngest son herself. "You need Jonathan to go with you?"

"No, he should stay here for Clark. I'll be all right by myself." Lex shifted, shuffling Clark gratefully down onto the sofa. "He's heavier than he used to be," he muttered, shaking his arms out from the strain.

"Growth spurt," Martha replied, grabbing some water and settling down with Clark, worry marking her expression clearly. Clark didn't get ill; he didn't get hurt. The last time had been the fall in the Castle and even that had not affected him to any great extent. Within a few days the bruising had vanished completely and he was back to teasing Lex about his leg being in cast. He was generally so happy and cheerful because he very rarely physically frightened himself or hurt himself and his main worries and concerns were less tangible in nature as a result. "Go... don't be long Lex, we'll come looking for you if you're not back in half an hour. Don't want anything like this happening to you, too."

"All right," he acquiesced, and then he turned sharply away, bounding down the steps on the porch and then back out over the field towards where Clark had tripped so suddenly and dramatically. As fast as he could, heart raceraceraceing in a way that he was already starting to get used to. He'd spotted a glow in the ground, and he had to look at it.

The scuff of Clark's boots had scraped off enough mud and moss to reveal the green crystalline rock underneath. It glowed with a strange iridescence that coated the autumn leaves around it in a mockery of their summer color.

Meteor rock. Smallville was littered with it in places, places that had been impact craters or near to them, places that had...

Lex felt his mind seize for a moment with the grasp of revelation, and then he was pocketing the stone and racing to the next impact crater. Of course. Meteor rock. The hole he'd found Clark in, yes, it all made sense.

Sure enough, the spot that he had found Clark, actually within the overgrown impact crater showed freshly tumbled earth littered with gently glowing green fragments mixed into the loamy topsoil. In fact, when Lex examined the visible effects of Clark's trail, it showed he had seemed to go haywire just as he came into this section and there had been an attempt to stop. That was strange because Clark could have avoided it, jumped it... anything save fall in it if he had been his normal self.

Coming up to it, it looked as if Clark had just lost control. Lex sifted through the dirt, pocketing a few more stones, and then crawled back to his feet and out of the overgrown hole. It demanded investigation. They had always regarded the wood as a place that Clark shouldn't go, concentrating on the place rather than the cause within that place. If it was meteor rock, they did have to know and it was vitally important. Clark couldn't avoid the substance forever in Smallville unless he was aware of its effect.

Now that he'd held it in his hands... his pockets, Lex realized exactly what it was and felt like a fool for not having noticed it sooner. The meteors had come with Clark, and it was strikingly easy to forget most days that Clark wasn't even human. On the way back to the house, Lex veered for the barn.

If the stones had made Clark that ill, then he couldn't just go into the house with them in his pockets. Couldn't take that risk, so he dropped them off in the barn fully intending to study them a bit later. If there was something college had given him the opportunity to do, it was to streak as far ahead into science as he could cope with for all his youth. It would be a while yet before he reached the boundaries and started to push at them.

But he would. Oh, he would, and if he had something extraterrestrial in his hands to challenge his own limitations with, he would use it. Lex tucked the stones away into the desk drawer just for the moment, and wiped his hands on an old rag before he headed back to the house.

Clark no longer looked ill. In fact he just looked like he had woken up from a nap as he leaned against his mother, and his father was offering him another drink. If there was a trace of what had happened in the woods it was in the worry that showed in his green eyes and his disheveled hair. He was a far cry once again from the boy who had been struck down in what seemed a mortal agony not even a half hour before. Now he looked like a young boy who had just had a nasty shock, nothing more.

Lex was smiling, beaming brightly, and he knew that he shouldn't have been looking so happy as he came back into the room. "Hey, Clark. How're you feeling?"

"Feel fine," Clark replied in a little bit of a confused mumble. Lex seemed happy, which was just odd considering how scared Clark had been.

Martha looked up at Lex, a little questioning at his tone, and hopeful as well. "He... seems fine now Lex. I can't see anything wrong," she admitted. "Very strange. One minute he was all pale, and the next as if he's back to normal."

"It's the meteor rocks," Lex said simply, and he knelt down in front of Clark at the sofa. "The impact crater is filled with them."

Martha paused a moment., looking at Clark and then Jonathan. "The meteors rocks make him sick? Hurt him?" she asked. "Are you sure?"

"Positive. If you care to, I can bring one of the samples from the barn down and show you right now. I want to look at it more closely..." Lex grinned up at his little brother, who was watching him quizzically. "But it's not you there's something wrong with, it's the rocks."

Clark looked relieved at that news. "I didn't like it... I didn't mean to get sick," he said tentatively. "It hurt. You'll stay with me if you bring in the rocks?" he asked tentatively.

Martha looked dubious about the proposed experiment, and she stroked Clark's hair reassuringly. "Are you sure we should do this? I don't want to have him hurt."

Something about Clark's tone unsettled Lex, shook him enough that he leaned up to kiss his temple, murmuring, "Look, you don't have to. I'm just glad you're okay, even if it was stupid to run off like you did."

"Not stupid," Jonathan jumped in, scolding. "It's just that we were all worried about you, Clark, when Lex came and you didn't come back from playing."

Clark looked down a moment. "Didn't know Lex was coming home... and Pete wasn't home or Chloe. And I'd done my chores and there was no one around," he gave a little shrug. "I just thought I'd run so I could look at Metropolis." He didn't have to say why, he never did. "And then I ran some more but I wasn't watching where I was going then and I went into the woods by accident and I couldn't stop. I didn't mean to worry anyone."

Martha patted him gently. "You don't have to try this experiment Clark, not if you don't feel up to it."

Clark hesitated a moment. There were some things that Lex had instilled into him, and needing to know the answer to any mystery was one of them. "No, I want to know... if it is or not," he said looking at Lex for confirmation. "'s important, isn't it Lex?"

"I'd say it's pretty important if it can cripple you like that," Lex said softly, glancing to Martha as he sat back on his haunches in front of Clark.

Martha glanced at Jonathan and then the two boys. They did need to know, and for all her obvious reluctance to put Clark through any sort of ordeal, she eventually nodded. "Okay. But carefully and we'll all be here," she said finally.

"Dad, can you run and get it? It's in the top drawer of my desk," Lex said quietly. He shifted nearer, reaching to push Clark's sleeve up so he could feel his pulse and get a base idea of it.

"Sure son," Jonathan replied and stepped out hastily to fetch the offending items.

Clark looked up at Lex, his heart beating a little more rapidly than usual because he was a bit nervous, but he seemed quietly determined. "Do I have to do anything?" he asked after a pause, knowing his father would be back any moment.

"Not a thing, okay? But if it hurts, tell us. I don't want you to hurt..." Lex counted quietly for a moment, lips moving as he tracked the number of beats until he was satisfied.

Jonathan returned and hesitated over the other side of the kitchen. "I've got it," he said holding up the gleaming green stone. "You want me to come over with it?"

Lex nodded. "Closer, but do it slowly. Walk evenly over here." And he focused his eyes intently on Clark's face, looking for a reaction.

Jonathan approached slowly, holding the meteor rock almost gingerly ahead of him. At first Clark seemed fine, if a little anxious. So fine that it seemed Lex might be wrong in his conclusion; but then Jonathan got within a couple of meters with the small rock. Clark's pulse started to jump erratically, and a faint look of nausea and discomfort crossed his expression and he was just about to say something about not liking it when Jonathan took another step forward.

The reaction to the meteor rock seemed exponential with regard to distance. Clark's vital signs went wild under Lex's fingers and he tried to curl up away from the source of pain and discomfort.

"Jonathan!" Martha looked horrified, having seen the lightning quick reaction sweep over Clark. "Get it away!"

Frozen for a moment in shock, Jonathan just stood there, staring not at Clark, but the rock, and then took a step backwards quickly, and then headed back to the kitchen to get it out of his hand without breaking it.

"I was right," Lex muttered, letting go of Clark's pulse, and then gently trying to uncurl him. "Clark, are you all right?"

Clark uncurled, his breathing slowing and opened an eye almost suspiciously. "Yeah... I feel...okay now." It seemed that as rapid as the effects were, the recovery was affected with similar speed. "It hurt... I felt a little sick and I was going to tell you then I couldn't," he said apologetically, knowing he wasn't meant to have worried them like that.

"That's amazing," Lex whispered half to himself, rubbing at Clark's arm gently. It was hard to not think about the rocks and their effect on Clark. From his planet, wherever that was? Was it some sort of control mechanism that had been provided with Clark? Provided with him, in case he needed to be... what? Controlled, stopped or... worse?

Martha looked shaken, and comforted herself by comforting Clark. "Well at least we know what it is, which is the silver lining to today's misadventure," she said, soothing her youngest son. "And what you know about you can avoid at least, sweetheart. I'm glad you worked this out, Lex. There are so many of these rocks around Smallville."

Clark was still looking worried. "They don't hurt anyone else do they?" he asked.

"Not sure," Lex said seriously, and he glanced over his shoulder towards the kitchen. It was entirely possible that they did hurt people, or affected them. "I want to do some tests on them."

Clark still looked worried but nodded in agreement. If Lex said there needed to be tests, then there needed to be tests. Lots of them. Hopefully they wouldn't have to include him too much. The very thought of those stones brought a trace of fear and apprehension to him after the day's ordeal. Truth be told, he wanted nothing more than to curl up and hide from everything but he was getting older and Lex hadn't cried when he was this age, he was sure of it. So he wouldn't either. Lex had sounded a lot like Pete's older brother earlier, his tone impatient and annoyed with him, even if he hadn't heard the words and he most certainly didn't want him to get like Pete's brother was with him.

He hadn't seen him for a month and then he managed to upset him when he did come back. Clark considered, a little miserably, that if he kept this up by the time the weekend was over Lex probably wouldn't come back at all during the semester.

Martha was absently stroking his hair as she looked at Lex, nodding. "We'll keep it all a secret," she said firmly. "It has such a major effect on Clark that I don't want anyone else knowing about it."

"Believe me, I can keep this a secret. I have a few ideas about storage of the rocks, but that's going to need a little thought." Lex shifted, smiling up at Clark. "So, other than running headlong into danger, how have you been?"

"Been okay," he said still a little subdued, not having been able to think of an answer that might make his brother even more annoyed as most of his activities involve moping of some description. "Been 'round Pete's a lot and.... things."

Boring things mainly. Ordinary boring things that if he complained about them, his mom would tell him it was better to do normal boring things than get found out.

"And things?" Lex started to stand, but held a hand out to him. "C'mon, I've got some pretty cool 'things' to show you that I brought back with me."

That piqued his interest and he took Lex's hand automatically and shifted against his mother to get up. "Great! What sort of things?" he asked his eyes lighting with his old enthusiasm.

"Don't get too carried away, both of you," Martha cautioned, still aware of how serious his condition had been less than an hour before. "It's been a long day."

"But Lex brought me back cool things!" Clark said even as he stood and looked at her pleadingly. "Please, Mom?"

His expression, the happy one that had been missing for as long as Lex hadn't been home, was so familiar and full of anticipation that Martha couldn't say no. "Okay, okay, but be careful, both of you. I'll call you for dinner okay?"

"Don't worry. We'll just be upstairs," Lex assured her, as he tugged at Clark's fingers. "Oh, could you..." He glanced over to Jonathan, "Put the rock back?"

"Sure thing. Are you sure you want it to go back to the barn, if it--"

"Mm, probably not, but it won't be there for very long."

Clark listened wondering what exactly Lex was going to do with the rock. Sounded like he would be taking it back with him to MetU. He was more interested in holding onto Lex. He'd missed him. He'd missed him in only the way a ten year old could, where the world seemed empty and flat without him there and it felt like an ache not to see him. He waited patiently, wrapping his warm fingers around Lex's, content just to renew that basic contact.

"Did you get my last letter?" Lex asked as he started to lead Clark up the stairs.

Clark nodded. "I wrote a reply," he said, following and feeling more content now, the memory of his ordeal fading somewhere along with the physical effects. "I thought that when you said you were being busy you were too busy to come home."

"Mmm, no, I was busy packing up stuff in the lab so no one would touch it while I was away. Hey, I've got a whole six days to be here, and I promise I won't go back early," he drawled, glancing over to his little brother. "I've missed you."

"You have?" Clark looked mildly surprised at that. Lex's e-mails were always full of the interesting things he had done, and seen and was working on. Him missing anything about Smallville seemed faintly ridiculous, and that included his younger brother. Despite his question he moved closer into him as the meaning of the statement reached him. "A whole six days?"

"Yeah, and then I'm gone just two weeks more and I'll be home for Christmas. That's a whole month. What do you think of that?"

Clark's answering smile was unfeigned in its brilliance. "That'll be great!" he paused a moment. "Is Bruce coming again?"

Lex's mouth thinned a little, and then he went back to smiling. "No. No, he's going to spend Christmas in Tibet."

"Oh." Clark looked at Lex carefully, for all he was happy to have his brother to himself for once over the break, he could tell that Lex wasn't too happy about it for all he was smiling. "Sorry," he said at a slight loss as to what else he could say that might make it better.

"It's okay." It didn't sound like it was, but once Lex led him into his room, he went on. "You know how I told you that it was a different kind of love? That's what I meant."

So in this different type of love people left and hurt the other person? Clark didn't think that much of that type of love if that was the case. He'd stick to his own where Lex would always know where he was even if they couldn't be together. "He shouldn't have left." Clark replied after considering the fact. For all he didn't want competition for his brother's attention, he wanted Lex upset even less. "People shouldn't leave."

"No, they shouldn't. But it's what people who know each other do. You know how you and Pete and Chloe are real close? When you grow up, you'll probably end up in different directions. They'll go one way, and you'll go another. And maybe you'll fight about it first." Lex moved to his suitcases, and sighed as he started to unzip them. "Close the door, okay?"

Clark considered that and decided he didn't like the thought of that at all. And where would they all go? Smallville was home. He closed the door watching his brother carefully and intently. He was bigger again he noticed, taller and broader. As tall as mom was even, at least.

He sat on the bed still watching him, having a chance to study him for the first time in a long time. "Is college okay, Lex?" he asked out of nowhere.

"Yeah. It's really... okay. No, that's a lie -- it's great, Clark. I'm enjoying it, and there's new things for me to do at every turn, and I've already got most of my teachers eating out of my hands. Some of them because of who I am, but most of them... for what I can do, Clark. I've got most of the biochem lab under my thumb already." Lex laughed a little, a real, happy laugh, as he shook out a sweater. "And I'm only almost sixteen. It's great."

Clark nodded gravely. "You're getting bigger again," he observed as he sat cross-legged on Lex's bed. "Mom says I'm getting taller but you are even more."

"Not for long. You'll probably end up being bigger than me," Lex smirked. "We'll see who's taller in five years. You haven't hit your real growth spurt yet." He pulled out a couple of pairs of jeans, and then a sweatshirt. "I've joined the fencing team."

"Fencing... with real swords and everything?" Now that sounded exciting! "Cool! Are you good? I bet you are!"

"I like to think that I am. I'm on third string, but I have a natural flair for it." Lex's mouth twitched a little. "And there's this girl, from Russia, on the team. She's giving me lessons."

Clark tilted his head a little giving an oddly conspiratorial smile, "What her name?" he asked.

"Marya. I think that's a pretty name. Don't you?" Lex pulled a flattened paper bag off of the bottom of the first suitcase. "Comics."

"Very nice name." Clark agreed but was easily distracted by the comic collection, "Cool, new issues! Any really good ones? Will you..." he hesitated a little "Will you read them with me?" he asked hopefully. It was evident that he was trying very hard to be well behaved, even if it wasn't overtly obvious why.

"Of course," Lex smirked lightly, offering the bag to him. "Why wouldn't I? You always read them. Clark, is something wrong that you haven't told me?"

Clark took the bag and looked down at it, before unburdening himself of his worry. "You were angry that I ran off.," he confessed not looking up. "You sounded angry... anyway."

"Scared," Lex corrected softly, pulling the now empty suitcase off the bed. He quickly hoisted the next one up. "I was scared."

Clark frowned a little, trying to understand his brother's words. "Why? I couldn't hear properly, but it sounded angry. Why were you scared? I was scared."

"I was scared because you were hurt, Clark. Wouldn't you be scared if I was hurt?" Lex paused a moment. "You remember when we fell through the stairs at the mansion?"

Clark nodded slowly, "Ye... yes." he admitted not liking to think about that too much. The concept of someone being scared that he was hurt was a totally alien one to him, because he just didn't get hurt in the same way as everyone else. Even when they had fallen through the stairs, he'd been considered fine and to him it was natural to worry about everyone else, but not about himself being vulnerable. "I was scared for you."

"So you see?" Lex suggested gently. "Yes, I was scared for you, and I didn't mean to yell. I'm sorry if you thought I was angry."

"I'm sorry I scared you," Clark said looking at Lex trying to mimic the calm that his brother drew around himself before he answered. "I just thought... maybe I'd done something wrong and you were angry you had to come back ... or something."

The edge of Lex's mouth quirked upwards, while he started to unpack his next suitcase. "Clark, I'll never be angry to come home. It's home. It has you, and Mom and Dad."

"Yeah but Metropolis is full of exciting things, and people," Clark pointed out "And..." He bit his lip a little and then pressed on. "I heard some people in town say that now you went to college you'd probably never come back and wouldn't need us any more."

There. It was said. The thing that had preyed on his mind and led him to worry and mope for all this time. It hadn't been an isolated comment either. Once the Smallville gossip had got over the fact that Lex had gone to MetU at such a tender age, the latest bet had become how long it would be before he dropped his foster family like yesterday's news.

Lex paused for a moment, and then went back to taking out his clothes. He should've expected comments like that; they shouldn't have given him pause the way they did, a little startlement first, then anger. "And do these people know me? No. They don't,"

"I told Pete that... but..." Clark said stoutly. "But, then you didn't come back for ages..."

To the ten year old, that last month had seemed like forever. Waiting for weekends had been hard enough to bear but this had felt long enough to start eroding his faith in Lex. He felt Lex would always come back but that wasn't the same as knowing it.

"I ought to be angry that you didn't think I'd come back," Lex sighed, and set his packing aside to sit beside Clark in the bed. "Come on. Why do you think I'd leave? Let's talk through this."

Clark leaned against Lex, the familiar contact fresh and wonderful after such a long absence. "...'cause everyone tells me not to expect you to be interested in me any more. That you'll be busy, and I'm not to bother you with childish things... that you're nearly grown up and I'm just a kid."

His friends had told him that, his teachers when he had moped in class as well as the Smallville gossip. Even his mom and dad hadn't been able to allay his fears because every time Lex didn't come back there were knowing looks and even well meaning comments from some about there being a silver lining because he could have the bigger bedroom. Never before had he been so aware of the age difference between them. It was almost as if it put them in completely different worlds whose orbits rarely intersected any more.

"Hey, and you'll be growing up soon, too. Okay?" He kissed Clark's temple lightly, and sighed against his hair. "When I turn eighteen, I'm going to be really busy. But even then, I don't want you to think I'm too busy for you, Clark. I'd drop everything for you and Mom and Dad."

Clark decided he didn't care if it was childish, he needed that close contact with Lex especially after the upsetting events of the day and he reveled in it. "I wish I was older so I could be at college with you. And then you'd have me to help you when you turn eighteen and you won't have to drop everything for us because we'll already be there with you," he said fervently.

"That's pretty implausible," Lex noted softly to him, as he stroked his shoulder gently. "I'm going to have to live in Metropolis after college, you know."

"Why?" Clark asked trying not to sound upset, "Can't you come home? Please?"

"Well, my company's in Metropolis, Clark. It's not so far, though."

"I thought you were going to live in the Castle?" Clark queried, arms worming around Lex naturally.

"A lot of the time," Lex agreed. "But not all of the time. LuthorCorp is... it's huge, Clark. It's huge. And it's going to be bigger when I get control of it. I've applied to intern in the research department this summer..."

"You won't be home," Clark said quietly. He hadn't quite got the context of what Lex was saying, of what he was trying to do and why, but he was trying to understand as best he could. "I wanted you to come home."

"Clark..." A shade of frustration, and Lex pulled back to turn Clark to look at him, face to face, eyes to eyes. "Clark. I'm home now. Sometimes I won't be home all of the time, but I'll try. And I'll always write and call."

"I don't understand." His green eyes were wide with confusion. "I don't understand why you don't come home when you say that you want to be with us?" Clark pleaded with him to give him the answers so he could understand properly. "You said you would drop everything for us but you aren't coming home?"

"That's right. I have things that I need to do out in the world. You'll see, Clark, when you get older. Are you going to live right here and work on the farm when you grow up?"

Clark shook his head. He wasn't sure what he was going to do but his half-formed ideas secretly placed him helping his brother somehow. "No."

"But you'll still come and see Mom and Dad won't you?" Lex was leading him, step by prodded step, down a path.

"Yes, of course." Not speaking to Mom or Dad that would be unthinkable, or not visiting. Clark nodded still looking at Lex's sharp blue eyes as he started to piece together what was being said to him

"So. Then tell me why you think that I wouldn't do the same?" Lex prodded gently.

The pieces could almost be seen slotting together; Clark wasn't normally this slow but in this instance he hadn't wanted to accept anything that meant Lex wouldn't be around. "You have to. Because of your company," he said slowly. "...because of what you have to do. And interning..." He was a little hesitant about the unfamiliar term "... is part of getting ready for that?"

"Exactly. I'll be home every weekend. It's just like working a normal job, only I'll get college credits for it." Lex patted Clark's back again, gently. "Okay?"

Clark nodded and leaned forwards in an automatic hug. "Is... is there anything I can do?" he asked after a while. He hated this feeling of being left behind, isolated and without purpose. He wanted to be connected to Lex somehow even if it was just doing something he wanted.

"Keep getting good grades for me?" Lex suggested, only a little teasingly.

Clark nodded solemnly "Okay. I can do that." It wasn't quite so easy without Lex here coaching him but he would do it.

"Atta boy." Lex pulled back slowly from the hug, disentangling himself. "So, help me put these clothes away, and tell me what you think of lead."

Clark was a useful person to have as an unpacker considering how fast he could move if he wanted to unpack. Even so he paused for thought trying to think why Lex would ask him about lead. "Lead is heavy and poisonous," he said frowning a little and then comprehension dawned "And is used to stop radiation! You think the stone is... the stone has radiation?"

Lex had always known his little brother was bright and quick to catch on to things. "I think it's a logical possibility that it might. It's glowing, so it has to be depleting itself. Have a half-life. So it'd say it's a high possibility."

"But..." Clark frowned, "I thought radiation was bad for everyone." He had read enough comics and seen enough cartoons to know that. Plus Lex would usually tell him what was wrong with the comics explanation of things by explaining the science behind it. "It changes things doesn't it? Like... in the cartoons."

"And it can kill," Lex agreed thoughtfully. "And it does change things, doesn't it? I mean, look at me. I'm not normal."

"It changed you?" Clark's impressionable mind was currently rewriting Lex into a comic book superhero as a result of this intriguing line of thought. "But, you got better. You heal faster. I get worse. Lots worse." He unconsciously shuddered just thinking about the stone and how he had felt.

Lex wasn't going to tell Clark his thought about a control mechanism of some sort. "But you're not human, Clark."

It was a simple thing to say, but Clark never liked being reminded of that. There was 'different' and special like Lex was and there was different. That was lonelier than he could ever explain to anyone. Now he was getting old enough to realize how different he really was, the need to hold onto everyone around him was growing strong, just at the time when it seemed his main anchor was being slowly torn away from him. Clark bit on his lip a moment, "Yeah. But I came with the meteors? How could they hurt me now? Wouldn't they have hurt me really badly then?

"Maybe the ship protected you from them," Lex suggested, while he refolded some of his sweaters. Mindless things to busy his body with while his mind spun wildly on the matter at hand.

"Maybe," Clark agreed. "I wonder what's inside of it." He looked out of the window in the general direction of where the Ship lurked. "I think I dream about it sometimes," he said absently.

"Only sometimes?" Lex followed Clark's gaze with his own eyes. "If you need to talk to someone about that Clark, tell me. I'm always willing to listen to what you're thinking. What do you dream about?"

"It's like I'm floating in light or something and there's a voice that's in my head telling me things." Clark replied, frowning as he tried to recollect details. "I can't remember what things though... and images, too, that look like places I've never been and then some that look like here, but from a distance. It's pretty dull but I'm always scared because I'm on my own even with the voice and it doesn't seem like I'm ever not going to be on my own. It's not nice," he shrugged. "That's it."

Lex's eyes narrowed thoughtfully, and he reached a hand to gently twist Clark's shoulder to get him to face him. "Clark. You know that you're not on your own here, don't you?"

There was only a slight hesitation before Clark nodded. "Yes. It just comes back now and then." When he was feeling lonely usually, or alienated.

"Now and then when?" Lex wanted to know all of the circumstances; so he could follow them and understand them if not stop them.

"When there's no one around mainly," Clark admitted quietly. "Though sometimes there doesn't seem to be a reason."

"It could be memories, you know," Lex suggested. "Sometimes things crop up in your mind, even if you wish they wouldn't."

"You think so?" Clark looked at him "Don't have much more than that really. That and looking for someone. Like in one of the big fields and I can't find anyone, and I need to but they're not there." He shook his head. "That's not a nice dream at all."

"That might've been from the day you were found." Lex tossed the rest of his things rather haphazardly into the drawer. Then he moved to sit down again, looking at his little brother's face.

Clark looked back, tilting his head. "I don't remember it properly," he admitted.

"You were little," Lex excused, patting the empty spot beside him on the bed. "Even for me, it's still hazy."

His younger brother scrambled up beside him "Do you remember any of it?" Clark asked curious now, wanting to solve the riddles of his nightmares.

Lex's mouth twitched down, a mix of curiosity and sadness. "A lot. I was a little younger than you are now when it happened. My father had pulled me out of school for the weekend to show me some of the ropes of the business world. We came here to Smallville by helicopter. I hate heights, still. Father made me look out the window even though I didn't want to, and I had an asthma attack."

"Don't like heights either." Clark agreed, understanding that 'Father' referred to someone else aside from Dad. "Asthma attacks aren't nice. There' a girl at school who had one and they took her to the hospital and everything." He leaned in listening intently. "Were you okay?"

"I had my inhaler..." Lex's mouth narrowed a little as he rolled to his feet for a moment, searching the room for something. "Have you ever seen my parents, Clark? I don't keep pictures of them out..."

"No." Clark shook his head. "Can I see? What were they like?"

"They... weren't like Mom and Dad." Lex's mouth twitched again, straining to muster up a smile while he knelt in front of the bottom drawer of the dresser, pulling it from its moorings. "My father was brilliant. A genius, he was ruthless, and busy a lot of the time. I understand why, now. He didn't believe in being prone to sentiment. My mother... was a lot like Martha. More refined, sharp-hearted like father, but... she was a beautiful person. She did things for Metropolis that you wouldn't believe."

Clark was different. Clark listened and believed and didn't automatically think that the name Luthor meant something bad. "What sort of things?" he asked, dimly remembering a woman's voice and Lex crying. That was strange because he couldn't really remember Lex crying for years and years. Lex never cried. Lex was strong-willed, graceful and almost fearless except when Clark had tattled him and Bruce out to Jonathan, and even then he'd been remarkably calm.

"Charity foundations. Scholarships. Hospital wings. For all the good it did her..." That twisted bitterly, and he pulled a false bottom off of the drawer, and pulled out a few paper wrapped packages. "This one here is the videotape she left me. These..."

One was a package full of photographs, which he carried over to the bed and spilled out between Clark and himself.

Clark looked at the photographs, seeing the people and trying to relate them to his brother, looking for signs in them of Lex, rather than the other way round. The woman was beautiful, the man exuding a sense of power and charisma even from the vantage point of many years distant. "She looks like Mom." Clark said studying her and picked up another photo frowning a little. "That's you! But you have hair... red hair!"

"Bright red hair that father never let me cut," Lex corrected nostalgically. "Father had this... this mane of hair. He was Lionel Luthor, and he was every bit a lion."

"I can see that," Clark said "It looks nice... but I like you without," he decided. Lex had never had hair as long as he knew him, and the picture looked like a stranger, not his Lex. "Do you miss them lots?"

"Yeah. I wish Father was still around, because I feel like I could use his business guidance. And Mother -- I just miss her. Badly." Lex peered down at one of the photographs that had him in it. "And there are days I wish I still had hair. When my eyes itch. I'll probably have to have all of the implants done again over the summer. They've outlasted themselves."

"I wish I knew what my other mom and dad looked like," Clark replied a little wistfully. "Sometimes I wonder why they sent me away and what they were like. But Mom and Dad are... well, Mom and Dad."

It was difficult to describe that wanting to know about where he came from was a totally different thing to how he felt for the people who had become his parents. They were his parents, through and through but ...

"Is it bad to want to know about them?" Clark asked his older brother.

"No. Why would it be?" Lex started to slip photographs away with care. "After all, I have photographs and memories of my parents, but I still want to know more about them. Things I can't remember, answers to things that I can remember."

"Don't want to upset Mom and Dad," Clark replied looking at the photo's carefully even as they disappeared. "They don't like me to do too much strange stuff because it could be dangerous."

"My mother had a similar warning for me," Lex smiled, a real smile at last as he paused in putting pictures away. "They want that to protect you. When you're older you'll be able to gauge when it's a good time to do your thing, and when it's not."

Clark frowned in concentration. "Destiny." He said suddenly as the memory of the flickering video and being curled on top of Lex flashed to mind. "I remember, she said something about destiny. It was important."

"I have a great destiny ahead of me... and you, too," Lex said gently. "So don't forget that. Even my mother thought we were made to be close."

Clark gave a brilliant smile. "She was really smart," he agreed pleased at the thought that someone else had seen what seemed so obvious to him: that the two of them were meant to always be close. Still, that didn't answer all the questions. "Lex, why don't people seem to like Luthors then? Your Mom did all that nice stuff, and your dad was clever and ...stuff?"

"They were ruthless. In the business world they were successful, and success breeds envy and hatred. When you're good at something, people don't like you. They'll whisper behind your back, and smile to your face." Lex rubbed at one temple.

"They do that to you?" Clark looked worried now, as if only really connecting how the generalized Luthor hatred might impact on his brother.

"Yeah, but it's part of being a Luthor. I have to take the good along with the bad -- the money and having people tell you that I won't come back."

Clark looked at him very seriously. "I think I'll believe you not them," he said decisively. "I won't ever do that to you. Money doesn't matter; you're my brother. If you say you'll come back, you will and I'll wait..." He grinned a little. "Or come find you if you take too long."

"Coming and finding me is always an option." Lex reached out a hand to ruffle his hair. "So we're good?"

Clark nodded. "Thank you for telling me about your first parents and finding out about the rock." he said smiling up at Lex.

"Don't thank me for that, Clark. I'm your brother. I ought to help you when I can, and...." He swallowed, and twitched another smile for Clark. "And I don't get to talk about them often. So I should be thanking you."

Clark seemed to understand, his green eyes returning a gaze that showed that he was maturing and growing up. "I'd like to hear more about them sometime," he offered. "And find out more about the rocks and things." If there was one thing that Lex had taught him, it was that when faced with a difficult situation the first thing to do was to find out as much as possible about it even if the finding out was difficult and not always what he wanted to hear.

"I'll make it a priority," Lex promised him, and he moved gracefully to head for the door. "C'mon, before Mom and Dad start to worry about us."

Clark nodded, following his brother's lead, resolved to make the most of the time that they did have together. He thought he understood the reasons, and in that understanding, he had learnt a rather painful if valuable lesson about some thing's being out of his control and his own vulnerability. With an instinct he wouldn't have recognized as a conscious decision, he had realized that if he had forced Lex to chose between what he was doing and him, he would be asking his brother to discard everything that his biological parents had given him as a legacy, and to turn away from their memories.

He didn't know that exactly, but he could see that the mere suggestion of it hurt his older brother. That was something Clark never wanted to happen, ever. Hurting his older brother, at least on purpose, was out of the question for Clark. As much as it seemed to be out of the question for Lex.

Clark put it all out of his mind as he started down the stairs with Lex. His brother was home, and despite that College was a Bad Thing, there was no reason to make what time he had with Lex reflect that. It was time for him to learn the skill of making the most of what time he could have rather than focusing on the impossible, because things always changed no matter how hard he wished for them to remain the same.