CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Martha and Jonathan Kent waited for news in the kitchen. They'd been waiting for hours for news. A night and part of the day had come and gone after Lex's unannounced arrival on their farm. With Clark's desperate pounding on the door his pleas to his parents for help, rousing them from a rare night of sound sleep.

"He's sick, he and his father had a fight and I don't know what to do." Cried her stricken son. With her usual take charge attitude Martha had Clark calmed down and Lex put to bed in Clark's home and Jonathan sent to get the Doctor while Clark and she did their best to keep Lex cooled with a wash cloth and tucked protectively under heavy quilts Betty-Sue had made.

Clark was helpless to heal his friend. Jonathan brought him a young doctor new to the area Clark swore him to complete secrecy, which the doctor was at first reluctant to comply with but after the situation was explained to him he put his hand on the Kent family bible and swore an oath of total confidence and secrecy.

Doctor Egret was helpless and ignorant to what the cause could possibly be for this new attack of ailment. He did blood tests and urine tests. After two days he found a cancer cell. But something else was compounding the cancer making it worse. He'd never seen the like before.

"I need to send to Boston to the Collegiate of Medicine. I've found something but I am unable to determine what it is." Explained the young doctor.

Clark frowned. "I thought you were going to cure him."

"I will try. But I fear there may not be a cure, Mr. Kent." Dr. Egret paused and closed his eyes, fingers rubbing his tired eyes. Sighing he explained. "Your friend may be suffering the same fate as his dearly departed mother. I have found an active cancer cell but it is being compounded by something else.

"His immune system is severely compromised. All I can say is make him comfortable and pray to God it goes into remission, pray to God we find something to battle it with." Said Dr. Egret before taking his leave of the younger Kent's home.

Clark was terrified. His friend was dying. His beloved wife was dying. The one person that completed him was being extinguished, like a candle in a gust of wind.

"Please Lex, just hang on. Just stay with me, okay?" He whispered as tears crawled down his cheeks.

With the arrival of the Doctor came Martha's banishment to the downstairs area where she waited patiently beside her husband. Well she tried to wait patiently but she was a woman who liked to do something besides sitting quietly in the corner waiting for things to happen.

Martha had made fresh steaming zucchini bread and a pot of soothing tea. They both felt they were on some morbid deathwatch. Lex was a stranger to them. Neither one of them had bothered to spend much time with their son's newest friend, but they understood that Clark needed them. Needed their support despite differences in belief or opinion. They were family and they were needed.

They watched Doctor Egret make a quick retreat from the homestead. They waited for Clark to come down and talk to them, but an hour passed by and their son did not appear.

Martha and Jonathan shared a look of concern and as Jonathan was about to leave the table to look in on their son, Martha shook her head and told him to stay in his seat. That a sickbed was no place for a man with bad feelings in his heart to go visiting the one he disliked. It hindered the healing process and she didn't want Jonathan to be responsible for the death of Clark's dearest friend.

Jonathan scowled and muttered, "Nonsense, I don't dislike the boy Martha. I don't even know him. He's a Luthor."

"And that's reason enough for you not to go in there Jonathan." She chastised.

Jonathan sighed and remained seated, sipping out of a cup of cooling coffee, that was already hours old. Martha walked gracefully and unhurriedly up the stairs to the master bedroom.

She ventured in to the room asking carefully "Clark, are you all right sweetheart? How is he?"

Clark didn't turn to look at her. He sat by Lex's side and kept vigil over his friend as he slept, murmuring in his dreams. Fighting demons that were his memories. Clark kissed the alabaster hand in his and stroked the cloth over the feverish brow.

"It's not good Mom. It's lingering and slow and painful. There's no hope for Lex's survival. The doctor told me to pray. He said ask God to grant you a miracle. He found something that was compounding the disease, making it worse." He let out a low frustrated growl. "He's incompetent. I should get Lex a new doctor. I think that's all he needs, a new doctor. A new doctor will cure him, I'm sure of it." He muttered desperate hope in his eyes.

"Honey, don't do this. Not to yourself, not to your friend. You need to be strong now, for Lex as well as for yourself. Survival is rare but it's there. Don't lose faith, son. He needs you. He needs your strength if he's going to survive this."

"I don't think I have that kind of strength Mom. I can feel it. I can feel myself tilting over that edge. If I lose Lex... No, I don't want to think about it. Lex is going to make it through this. He has to. I need, I lo- love him too much to just let him go." Again. Clark said.

Martha felt her heart clench painfully. What was this hold Lex Luthor had over her son? This was just a reaction to Betty-Sue's departure. Clark was confusing his feelings for Betty for Lex. She was sure of that and yet, she could read the truth there and see it, the madness that lurked just behind anguished blue eyes.

Martha marshaled her own strength, giving her son a hug. She assured him. "I will support you and see you through this my son. There are hard times a head of us. But as long as we continue to fight, I am sure we will overcome. I will not let you lose this man, your friend, who you love so much. You're stronger then you know, Clark, the both of you. And the two of you are going to pull through this. I know it."

Clark closed his eyes and soaked in his mother's scent and her love and her words. She smelled of truth and conviction. He couldn't doubt her when she was like this.

"Now, I will go downstairs. I have fresh zucchini bread and tea if you think Lex is up to a little snack?"

Clark nodded. "I think so, in a little bit. He's not quite awake just yet."

Martha nodded back. "All right. If you need anything else, just holler. Your father and I will be down stairs in the kitchen keeping vigil."

"Thank you Mom."

"You're welcome sweetheart. We love you. We're here if you need us. Don't be stubborn, Clark. It won't help him or you if you are."

"I know Mom and I appreciate it. I will yell if I need you, I promise, you or dad. I swear it." Promised Clark.

Martha sighed. "I hope you will son." She murmured knowing her son was fibbing, but hoping he would call if he needed her, anyway.

Lex turned and tossed. He threw the covers off then pulled them back on, shivering so hard his teeth rattled. "So cold, so cold." He sobbed. "It hurts. It bloody hurts."

Clark climbed into the bed and weathered the storm that was fever riddled Lex Luthor kicking feet and punching fists and pointy elbow in the ribs.

His Lex was a wild cat even with his strength waning daily. Clark held him close and breathed him in. Even the rankness of the smell of illness couldn't keep him from trying to cuddle as close as he possibly could to the object of his affections.

By the third day visitors came. Chloe Sullivan-Ross marched her way determinedly up the stairs and planted herself firmly in place as relief nurse. "As you know my Father was a medic in the army when I was a child, before he got a job with Luthor Corp. My Father taught me a few things about the mending of the sickly and frail. Therefore make room Kent; I've come to stay for a while.

"Pete has been good enough to plant his feet in the ground and won't budge from our home." She scowled in disgust at her husband's actions.

"But my Father and I owe Lex Luthor a debt and we plan on making sure it's made square between us. Now don't just sit there gaping like a fish out of the pond water, get me fresh cloths, fresh boiled water, mustard seed and black gunk. I want to get that fluid out of his lungs so he can breathe. In fact, I want the bathroom steaming.

"Now, get a move on Kent.

"Hustle!"

With Chloe taking charge, Martha stepped aside, it was obvious the girl knew more about this kind of medicine then either she or Jonathan did combined.

Lex's recovery was slow and painful. He was exhausted easily. The bathroom steam and the compress on his chest and back did a good job of drying up the fluid in his lungs and breaking the fever he'd been suffering from over the last three days.

Lex was highly uncomfortable with her and the rest of the Kents. He hated looking weak. But most of all, he hated not being alone with Clark. He wanted Clark to hold him and make the pain go away. It hurt so much.

Day 7

Mood swings were rampant frightening and could come over Lex in moments and catch his caretakers in the crosshairs. Objects would fly, he'd scream accusations at them or just cry for hours.

Delirious and down with another fever Lex determinedly searched the room from top to bottom looking for something which no one knew the whereabouts of.

"It's here, it's got to be here, somewhere. Where's Julian? Julian can make it go away. He knows how. He always makes the bad things go away." He muttered and ranted. "Julian, where is it? Where have you hidden it? It's here somewhere. I know it is. It's got to be here. I need it. I need it." He was sobbing now. He looked at Clark and screamed wordlessly in rage then he tried to attack his friend.

Clark was so strong and Lex was very weak, even in top shape he wouldn't stand a chance against Clark and he knew that but still he attacked his friend. His friend was hiding it from him.

Why was Clark doing this to him?

He was in so much pain and he knew the medicine would make it go away. It always had before.

Why was Clark hiding it from him?

"It's medicine!" he screamed, finally giving voice to his agitation and outraged confusion. "Why would you hide medicine from me? Why are you doing this to me?"

Confused and hurt Clark protested. "But, but I didn't. What medicine? Please Lex, you've got to calm down."

"Do you like seeing me suffer? Is that it?"

"No! No of course I don't." cried Clark in hurt protest.

"Where is it?" Lex demanded.

Clark only shook his head wordlessly as Lex pounded futilely on his broad chest.

"Why did you hide it? "

"Where is it Clark?"

"I need it! I need it! " He cried, finally jerking away from Clark's hold, again frantically searching the room where he and Clark had made love in as man and wife in what felt like an eternity ago.

"Julian!" he cried hysterically. "Julian! Julian!" voice and body weakening, the barest whisper escaped his dry lips, "Julian."

He sobbed, curling up arms hugging his stomach tightly as another cramp passed through him. Clark draped his body next to his on the cool floor and put an arm around him to steady him through the tremors.

"Why did you betray me Julian? Why?

"I'm your brother. I love you."

"I raised you."

Some time crawled by then another cramping session lingered on and Lex writhed in agony in Clark's arms, whimpering, begging. "Julian, I need it. You know I need it."

As another wave of panic came over him, Lex struggled to free himself from Clark's grasp. He tried to bite Clark. Clark evaded the attack but continued to hold Lex in place.

"This isn't good." Said Chloe. "This isn't good at all. This is more of a withdrawal thing then a sickness thing."

"What do you mean Chloe?" asked Martha concerned and frightened for her son's safety, watching from the sidelines as Lex struggled with her son.

Chloe turned her attention back to Martha. "We had a man, a neighbor once. He was very ill and he would take an opiate for his pain. But he soon grew dependent on the drug. When he ran out of the substance and his money ran out. It changed him. The cravings for this substance changed him. They made him a mad man. He became violent and he would steal and lie and do whatever it took to get this "medicine" but all it did was make him worse. When he finally realized the truth he tried to stop on his own.

"It killed him.

"Lex shows signs of drug abuse Clark. The next few weeks are going to be critical to his survival, life or death. If he doesn't take the drug he could die. But if he does take the drug it will only do him further damage in the long run. Don't let him dream away his life."

Clark firmed his jaw and gave in to the Kent stubbornness. It was a hard time for all of them. Watching Lex go mad from the pain and the suffering of withdrawal. They watched him scream for hours, watched him have seizures and foam at the mouth like a rabid dog. They watched him claw at his arms and chest. Watched him become terrified at old memories that his withdrawal made him relive. Clark would struggle with him, trying to keep him from hurting himself too seriously.

He begged them to kill him.

He begged Clark to make Julian give him the medicine.

"Julian has the medicine. The medicine will make it all better." He whimpered.

When that didn't work he would scream. "You want me to suffer! You want me to die!" Then he would accuse Clark "You're so cold hearted you're worse than my own father. You don't love me. You want me to die, don't you? You hate me. You like seeing me in pain. You sick bastard!" he shrieked weakly pounding on Clark's chest attacking his friend yet again.

Exhausted he would go back to begging and trying to manipulate Clark into giving him what he needed, but it wouldn't work. Not even seduction tactics.

He sobbed. "Please, pleasepleaseplease, Clark, I'm sorry Clark, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it. You know I didn't mean it."

"I know Lex. I know." Soothed Clark. Stroking his friend's face.

"Please, pleasepleaseplease, I need it. Pleasepleaseplease." Lex continued to beg Clark.

"We've known each other a long while now, Lex, I know who you are, inside and out. My love for you still endures. We've known each other as man and wife. We've made love in this house countless times. I made a vow to you and I will keep it. In sickness and health and I will nurse you to health and I will see you strong again.

"We've known each other as best friends too.

"Julian's betrayal is hard for you to forgive, even to come to terms with. You're in pain. I want to help you Lex. But you need to let him go. You need to let this craving go. It's making you sick. It's killing you. I love you. I only want to make you well."

Lex became his evil twin turning furious with Clark again, "How can you call yourself my friend? How can you love me?" he hissed. "When you stand there and watch me suffer so? How can you do this to me? How can you live with yourself?" he raged.

Clark bore it all stoically. He had come to the conclusion that right now this person, this hateful person, wasn't his Lex. Lex would return when the evil finally left his body.

This wasn't the Lex Luthor that he knew, or his sweet Betty-Sue with the sad shadows in her eyes. Lex had his own sadness within too. The demons in his memories would attack and Lex would be changed yet again. Sometimes he would sing and laugh, like a child playing with another child. He would hold the pillow in his arms and treat it as if it were his baby brother. Other times though, and these were more often then anything peaceful or good, Lex suffered night terrors in the day as well as in the night. From these he suffered greatly, and the Kents learned about the horrors of his upbringing.

They would learn of Belle Reve and the Meteors and they would learn that Lex, like Clark, was a very different sort of being.

"Like the phoenix from his ashes I rise again and again. I die and I live and I live and I die. I'm never enough. It's never enough. He takes it all away. Tears me down so he can build me back up again. His pawn, his broken toy." He whispered morose. "I am only a means to a future that he wants for the family.

"How could he betray me?

"How could my father and my brother betray me?

"All of his words, all of his lies, the Father of lies is Lionel, my dear, dear father; he who put me in Belle Reve; he who was the first to betray me. He said family doesn't betray family, that blood is thicker than water. All he wanted was for us to be a happy family."

"A family." He chanted bitterly. "A family. A family." He wept brokenly. "Look at our family, Father, it's loathsome." He hissed hoarsely.

"I'm so sad Clark. I just want to die. I want the pain to stop. Please, God why won't it stop? It hurts Clark." He cried, clawed hands digging into Clark's shirt. "Help me. Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease." He begged. "Help me."

"No. Lex no. This isn't right. You don't need it. It's just a drug, a chemical that lies to you. You can beat this. We can beat this together. Please Lex, fight. Show me how brave you are. Survive this. Show your father. Show everyone that they can't do this to you that you won't be beaten down any longer. You're free now Lex."

"Free?" Lex asked. Laughing bitterly. "No, I'm not free. He won't stop. Father won't ever stop. I can never be free of him. Maybe... maybe... if he were to die? B-but, he's my father and as twisted and evil a man as he is, I couldn't bear it if he were to die. Free, I'll never be free. He won't let me be free. Not ever, not until one of us is dead." He whispered sadly.

Chloe watched her friend slump.

They had all been working so hard to keep Lex alive, for days now. Clark was threadbare and worn down like an old sweater. His energies were slowing. Lex's health had been deteriorating fast and Clark had been reluctant to leave his friend's bedside, day or night.

Chloe was afraid for Clark.

"Clark, I think it would be a good idea if you had a day off."

"No. I can't, Chloe. He needs me."

"Yes, he does, but he needs you at full strength. This depression of his is affecting you. The cancer is eating away at his reserves as much as it is your own. This is a battle Clark, more of wills than of physical strength and right now neither one of you is a very hopeful or positive position. He needs your strength to get through this. He isn't going to die today or tomorrow. Go into town. Get some rest. Visit Lana at the Talon, have a coffee and lounge around."

"How can I do that to Lex?" protested Clark. "I can't leave him. He needs me. He'll think I've abandoned him."

"This is your home isn't it?" asked Chloe.

"Yes," Clark replied puzzled, it was obvious he was not thinking clearly. "What are you getting at?" he asked.

"You're not abandoning him or this place, it's your home. You'll be back." Said Chloe pointedly.

"And you'll tell Lex that?"

"Damned straight I will. If he gets any foolish notions of abandonment in his head." She scowled.

Clark couldn't help but crack a smile, no matter how slight it was still a small ray of sunshine and it cast Clark in a less dark aspect. Chloe was glad to see it. Maybe Clark wasn't quite as badly along as Chloe had thought he was. Still she wasn't a fool she knew if Luthor died, something in Clark would too. She could very well lose her friend permanently in this situation if she didn't tread lightly.

"Thank you Chloe. I think you may be right. I need some time, just a few hours away from this house." And Lex's moods. Though he flinched when his thoughts said that.

He felt guilty. But it was true. Between Lex's rages and constant sadness and the illness eating away at fat and muscle. Lex looked more skeletal then usual, and it was terrifying Clark to see his friend, his beloved in this condition.

Lois was concerned. It wasn't like Chloe to stand her up not unless it was for a good reason. She wandered across town and further still until she arrived at the Sullivan-Ross house slash Smallville Torch News Offices. Pete looked unhappy and guilty. It looked like the two had had some kind of falling out.

"Hi Pete, what's wrong?"

Pete continued painting the blocks of text with his ink roller. He scowled. "Noth'n." he growled.

"Oh ka-ay, how about telling me where my energetic cousin went off to?" Lois asked with a touch of teasing in her voice, hoping to lighten her cousin-in-law's mood.

Pete snorted then he sighed.

"I knew what kind of woman I married when I married her. I knew what I was getting myself into. I love that woman. I truly do. But this, this just takes the cake!"

His brow furrowed even more emphasizing his state of outrage.

"If it were anyone else, anybody else... she knows what that family did to me and mine. She knows! And still she went over there to help."

"Over where? To help with what?" asked Lois perplexed.

"With Luthor!" growled Pete. "Alexander Luthor the Bohemian gallivant has gotten himself sick and my wife, that infuriating wonderful hearted woman that she is, went to the Kent's farm and is now at this very moment nursing the rich bastard to health. As if he needed it." Pete snorted derisively, venting. "If you ask me, this whole thing's a giant mistake just waiting to happen. I don't know what's gotten into my wife or even into Clark Kent lately. I know he's having a hard time." His tone softened as did his hard brown features. "I know with Betty-Sue having gone off in the middle of the night and leaving Kent alone it's pretty near sent him over the deep end. He's been a devastated husk of a man ever since that woman left him. And no one, least of all Kent, can figure out why she left him. But now this!"

His lips thinned and his face showed further hurt and perplexity.

"Why a Luthor? Why Lex Luthor? Weren't we enough for him? Weren't we friends enough for him?

"I don't get it. I just don't understand it. What the hell has come over them?

There has never been a Luthor that wasn't better off dead than alive, at least ways for the people that got involved with them all. Mark my words Lois; this isn't going to turn out well at all. It's trouble.

"Big trouble.

"Daddy Luthor will see to that." Pete stomped off, wiping at his burning eyes. "Darn that woman. She makes me crazy. She's going to get us killed."

Lois tried to sooth her cousin in law but to no affect. Pete Ross-Sullivan would not be set at ease. Lois knew that if anyone knew more about the Luthors it was Pete Ross, who's family had been owned by the Luthors less then a generation ago, Pete would know as much if not more about the Luthors than the Luthors themselves knew about each other.

If Pete thought trouble would come from her cousin's humanitarian efforts then who was she to argue? She had better start worrying instead.

She, who was trying to kill Alexander Joseph Luthor; She, who was trying to eradicate a possible threatening evil from this world making it safe for women and democracy alike. She would expose all the Luthors. It was her mission in life to do so. It was also her mission in life to see to it that all women were treated equally, votes for women and temperance on alcohol, the poison that turned all men into beasts. She was a woman with a mission and she intended to see it through to the very end even if it was with the last drops of blood in her veins.

She would protect Chloe and eradicate the threat that Luthor posed to them all.

Clark was amazingly gifted with the ability to fade into the background like a shadow. He'd perfected it over the years, but sometimes people did notice him, after all how could they not when he was six feet and then some inches tall. Lana smiled and waved him to her table, like a princess presiding at court. She took both of his hands in hers and gave him a studious look. Concern entered her beautiful eyes.

"How is he, Clark?" she asked, quietly.

Clark cleared his throat and sat down in the chair across from hers, her hands still in his, her face never changing from friendly compassion.

"It's not good Lana. Even Doctor Egret couldn't help. The collegiate is studying his blood and recording the cancer but there's nothing anyone can do for him. He's deteriorating and Chloe won't let them give him any morphine or opiates. He's in pain a lot of the time."

Lana let go of his hands and covered her mouth with both hands, fighting feminine vapors. "Oh Clark, how terrible." She whispered. "And there's nothing we can do? Are they truly so certain?"

"Yes Lana, they're certain. They suggest prayer."

"Oh, oh dear, oh poor Lex." She wept. "This must be tearing you apart Clark. First Betty-Sue leaving and now your Lex dying. Oh my poor friend."

Clark bowed his head and realized there was wetness on his own cheeks. He was weeping as well, though he tried hard not to. After a few moments of pulling himself back together, Lana still dabbing daintily at her leaking eyes, they tried to have a pleasant afternoon of tea and conversation but neither one of them could quite pretend hard enough that tragedy wasn't happening.

Their dear friend was dying and they were, all of them, helpless to stop it from happening.

Coffee felt good going down and it warmed him for a moment before leaving him feeling cold and bereft again. A thought occurred to him then.

"Uh, Lana, how did you know Lex was staying with me?"

Lana blinked a couple of times before replying innocently enough. "You're his friend. Where else would he go?"

Clark was stunned. It was so simple and so true. Alarmed he looked into her eyes and asked. "Has anyone else figured it out?"

"Many have, I'm sure. It's just none of us like Mister Lionel Luthor all that much. Lex was always eccentric and always very kind even when he was standoffish. And Clark, if I may be so bold and point out to you, I knew Lillian Luthor when I was a small girl.

"I recognized Betty-Sue as soon as I saw her in the hall in the daylight, especially that bracelet on her wrist. The one she always wore, the one Lex wears. It was the same one Lillian always decorated her wrist with. I didn't want to believe at first that Betty-Sue was who she was. I didn't want to lose my dear friend. She was a wonderful friend to me. I love her dearly. Chloe has yet to figure it out, she still thinks Betty-Sue up and left you and took your unborn child with her."

Clark's jaw dropped a second time that afternoon. "Hhow? Wha- when? Wha-what do you mean?" He was panicking.

"Clark, the bible may have something to say about this, but I truly believe that this is between you, Lex and God. The first stone and all that. In polite society we rarely mention such aberrant behaviors. My dearest uncle happened to be in such a similar situation. I loved my uncle. He was a very dear man, and very misunderstood as well as a very troubled and dark soul, he was like you and your Lex, Clark.

"You are a dear, dear, friend. I just want you to be happy, the both of you. Please be careful. You wear your feelings on the outside for all to see. You love so innocently and perfectly and many would never understand this thing between you and Lex. Even I cannot pretend to understand it. But I do not see it for the evil that others will see it for. Just be careful, Clark. I want you both to be safe and love and live a full life."

Clark was in awe of his friend. She had never seemed so wise or so knowledgeable before. She had always been a delightful woman, and sad since her parents death in the meteor showers. He had never dreamed she would be this understanding or this wise.

"Thank you Lana." He said humbly. "I'm sure Lex would enjoy hearing you say the same to him."

Lana gave a gentle laugh. "Oh Clark, if I said as much I would probably shock him into death. No, I will hold my tongue until he is properly well again. I think Whitney and I will pay our respects tomorrow afternoon, if you think Lex will be up to it?"

"I honestly don't know Lana. He's so sickly. He's nothing but bones now. I'm so afraid."

Lana wiped at more tears on her cheeks. "Oh Clark. Then it is past time I came to visit. I cannot let our friend Chloe take over the full caring of him, now can I?" She asked with a tremulous smile. "She would never let me live it down, and as I said before. Betty-Sue was my partner in this business as much as one of my dearest and closest friends. Despite her paranoia that I would eventually come to my senses and snatch you away from her." This made them both smile and laugh.

"She really was quite paranoid about that prospect, wasn't she?" Mused Clark. For the first time in weeks he felt a lighting of his spirit. Lana really was a good friend. She could make his moods shift from brooding to happy, but no one could make him as happy as Lex did.

"I can't lose her- I mean him. I can't lose him Lana. I don't know what I would do without him in my life. I think. I think if he died I'd soon follow."

"Don't you dare say such a thing Clark Kent." gasped Lana, frowning at him. Horrified by his statement.

"I wouldn't kill myself on purpose Lana, it's just, I truly believe my heart would fail me if he were to die on me."

"Let's not speak of this anymore. Whitney and I will arrive tomorrow and we shall have tea and we shall help Lex get better."

"How Lana?"

"Prayer, of course Clark. Miracles happen every day. Have faith. Faith in Him, have faith in yourself and faith in Lex. Have faith Clark. Believe in your family and have faith in your friends." She said with all the confidence of a friend and a woman of total faith and conviction.

Clark felt strange after talking to Lana. He felt somehow the beginnings of hope. The blossoming of light, burning brightly in his heart making the world less heavy upon his shoulders and making the shadows of his despair disappear.

Lana had hugged him then sent him on his way.

"We're going to beat this. Lex is going to live. And we will live happily ever after." He said with conviction and stubbornness. Making his way back to his home and Lex's side.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Lex hadn't liked being alone with Chloe Sullivan-Ross, and Martha and Jonathan Kent. He wanted Clark there by his side. He needed Clark with him. He missed Clark terribly.

"Where has Clark gone?" he asked Chloe as she tried to feed him broth, which of course he wasn't eating. He didn't feel hungry he just felt tired and warn out to the bone and he felt achy all over and generally just uncomfortable as all hell. Clark was the only person who could make him feel better. He wanted Clark.

"He'll return later this evening." Insisted Martha. Knitting in the rocking chair across from his bed.

Chloe put the spoon to his lips and he tried to avoid it. "I'm not hungry." He groused. "Where's Clark? I want Clark." He whined.

Chloe sighed and put the spoon back in the bowl. Her efforts were going to waste on Lex. He wasn't going to eat. He was more stubborn than even Clark or Jonathan Kent.

"He's in town. I told him he needed some resting time. Seeing you so sick, it's killing him, Lex. Watching you fight a losing battle is terrifying for him."

"Luthors do not lose." Hissed Lex.

"Well then, I suggest you make a better effort of it." Growled Chloe.

"What do you want from me?" Snapped Lex, irritated with her.

"All I want from you is that you live! All I want is that all of our efforts are proved worth it. That's all that I want, and that Clark be happy again." Chloe cried.

"I'm fighting. I'm still alive, yes?" He growled bearing his teeth in a grimace, a parody of a smile. "I'm so tired Chloe. But your efforts aren't for nothing. I won't lose. I'm not going to die. I won't die. You'll see." He assured stubbornly.

"Then eat your broth and prove it to me." She commanded of him.

Lex looked away from her and shook his head. "I'm not hungry. Broth isn't what I need."

"Then what do you need?" She questioned sharply, "More of that medicine? That stuff that was killing you?"

"No. I don't want that stuff anymore. I just want..." He said, voice fading to an uncertain whisper. His complexion ghostly pale, his eyes gazed in the distance as if searching lost for someone who wasn't there. He looked so vulnerable and fragile. Scared as if too frightened to trust what was there before his eyes. Terrified to believe that he was safe and being cared for by people who loved unstintingly.

"Yes?" asked Chloe leaning in closer, hovering over his bed, waiting.

"I just... I just want..." he murmured, exhausted and still lost seeming.

"Go on." Encouraged Martha, next to Chloe, also leaning in to hear what he had to say.

Lex sighed. He closed his eyes and before he could tell them that all he wanted was Clark and to be loved, he fell asleep.

Exasperated Chloe packed up the lunch dishes and returned them to the lower level of the house and to the kitchen sink where she scrubbed her frustrations out. Martha sighed and serenely kept knitting. When it was time Lex would tell them what he wanted or Clark would tell them for him. She smiled fondly and hoped for the best.

CHAPTER THIRTY

Lionel organized a party to search for his son. "Find him! Bring him back to me." He ordered. The posse rode out in search of the missing heir, Lionel at the head of the column of riders.

Julian looked forlornly out of his bedroom window and watched hubbub in the yard below.

A tin photograph of Lex was held carefully, thoughtfully in his hands. He always held this photograph. It comforted him the most. It had the look of age and wear about it. Made by loving fingertips rubbing the picture everyday of his life.

The picture was of a much younger Lex, a happier Lex a Lex with a baby Julian in his arms.

"I'm sorry Lex. I did this to you. I just wanted... I just wanted you for myself and I wanted Papa to see that I could be a good businessman if he ever gave me a chance to be one. I'm sorry. I truly am. I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you big brother. Please be all right."

Reconciliation didn't look to be happening any time soon in the future for either brother. Julian understood that he had crossed the line and that his betrayal of his brother and their love for each other was unforgivable by Luthor and by Lex's standards.

He held the picture close and wept. Comfort evaded his grasp.

Three weeks later.

His time with the Kents was drawing to a close. Lex was getting somewhat healthier each day, but like before he had lapses, good days and bad, but he knew, he could feel the time ticking, the clock would sound and time would be up. Lionel Luthor would find them.

It amazed him that his Father hadn't figured it out sooner. Dressed in his usual black Lex Luthor snuck out into the barn and was stopped dead in his tracks by a disappointed Clark Kent.

"Hello Lex, where do you think you're going?"

Lex flushed and kicked at the straw on the dirt floor. "You know I have to go Clark." He said, gently.

Clark scowled. "No I don't. I don't know any such thing!"

Lex sadly looked up beseeching Clark. "Clark, my Dad, he won't stop looking for me, he won't stop trying to control me. I'm a danger to you and this farm."

"No you're not." Clark steadfastly denied. "Betty-Sue wasn't."

Lex gulped and paused freezing in mid formation of words. His lips moved soundlessly with his shock. Was Clark really saying what he thought he was saying? Lex was astounded. He'd known Clark was a lot smarter then he usually let on to people but Lex had honestly believed that Clark would never consciously admit to the truth of Betty-Sue.

"Yes, Lex, I know who you are. I've known since the day you snuck off. I knew when I smelled you and the bullets were hitting you. I knew when I covered you with my body and felt your life slipping from my hands." Clark was fighting back tears. "I didn't want to play this game with you. But every time I tried to carefully extract the truth to get you to tell me the truth, you never did. You didn't seem to have any faith in me.

"Why Lex, why this whole charade? Why the dress up and why did you, why did you and I, why?" he begged heart rendering.

Lex was expecting this. He'd known there would be a time when he'd have to lay out all his cards on the table. This was `fess up time. This moment couldn't be ignored and it couldn't be denied. He knew he had to confess to the truth now. There was no way he could look Clark in the eye and deny it any more. Not when his heart still ached for the boy.

"I don't know, honestly Clark I... I didn't mean to take it as far as it went. I was just desperate for a new start. I was running away from a conspiracy against my life. I just wanted to be left alone. I just wanted to stay away from my father and my family. But I had to keep an eye on them somehow and be unsuspected, as Betty-Sue I was able to do that. No one thought I would dress up like a girl and be hidden completely in sight of them. It was a good strategy in the game my family likes to call life. That game Clark is life and death, money and power. I wanted to just get away from them. I wanted to save Julian but I couldn't. I wasn't strong enough. I wasn't there enough for him. I was too late.

"I'm not a pervert by nature or by inclination... usually.

"I... I don't know what came over me.

"I read your letters and touched your photo every night while I road on the train. I was bewitched by you from the moment I opened the first letter, no even before then, when Betty-Sue spoke of you with such nervous fondness. I was intrigued and wanted to understand you. You're everything - you and your family are everything my family isn't. Clean and pure, and unconditional in your love for each other, and for your community.

"All my life Clark my father has spoken of the Kents as nothing more then ignorant fools, my father is usually a fair judge of character; well except he twists everything. He thinks he is superior, that our family is superior to everyone else. He sees people and gives them motives that are as twisted as his own. He reads what he wants to read in them. But reading your letters I knew you better then my father ever could. It was amazing how lapsed in judgment he was of your father and your family.

"My curiosity is a terrible thing, Clark. I was drawn to you. I couldn't stop myself from being reeled in by your honesty and emotion.

"I was merely trying to escape my certain death at the hand of assassins. It was a strange kind of twist of fate Clark. There I was with a ticket for Smallville and I knew I couldn't ignore destiny any more. I tried to escape this place for more years then I care to recount. My nightmares are here, my dreams are here, my brother who I loved as if he were my very own child was here, and I couldn't ignore him or my responsibilities anymore.

"I was running for my life. I wasn't thinking very clearly. I was just trying to survive. I bumped into this woman who, my God! It was like looking in the mirror! She looked exactly like me. She told me about you, about your farm, and again I thought, this is fate, this is destiny at hand.

"So I gave her the last of my money, drugged her, stole her trunk of clothes and gave her a small overnight satchel with a few choice bits in them, then I dragged her to the next train leaving the station, one of my other tickets on her person. With little time to spare I managed to board the train again and I knew I had to get a Betty-Sue persona going and it surprised me at how easily she took over my mind and body.

"I loved you from the moment I first laid eyes on you, Clark. When you caught my fist like you did, and stared into my eyes like you did, I felt my knees go wobbly. I never felt that before. Betty-Sue, that was a real person, a real person inside of me, she loved you first. She made me fall in love with you. I know this sounds crazy, maybe I am insane and always have been.

"I'm coming clean to you Clark. I don't expect you to understand. We're so different from one another. I've seen so much ugliness in the world and you've hardly seen anything at all. I'm going to be totally honest and tell you; I was first going to break up with you. But because you were a Kent and owned property that bordered my father's lands I knew that from your homestead I could monitor the Luthor goings on. I was using you."

"Why?" cried Clark outraged. "How can you do that to people?"

"Because I'm a Luthor, Clark!" Lex spat out. "We don't think like you Kents do or like normal people do. We're taught to think like conquerors and users. My father wants me to control the world some day; like some man out of history, like The Alexander The Great, for whom my father aptly named me. But that's not what I want Clark, not anymore. As I grew ever more closer to you I knew you for my Hephaestian but I fought very hard against it.

"I felt so much guilt, it was tearing me apart Clark. I couldn't for the first time in my life stand lying to another person, to someone like you. But I had to find out who was trying to kill me. I had to find out if my father was behind it all. But you were a constant distraction to me. Being here, being with you and your family and Chloe and Lana, I've never been so happy or so tormented Clark. I didn't want it to end.

"It almost killed me to turn my back on you like I did. But my father was getting closer to the truth. I knew it was only a matter of time before he found me. So I decided it was time Alexander came back from exile. It was not my intention to continue a friendship with you Clark. But fate had another twist for me.

"I love my father but he's sick and twisted and he twisted me. I'm dark and twisted and you can't love the real me Clark. You know you can't. You have to let me go. He'll come for me. He'll make your lives living hell if he finds me here. You know he will."

"This is Kent property, Lex, you know the laws. If he's shot dead on this land no one would prosecute." Said Clark steadfast and stubborn. "I won't let you leave me again. I love you. I need you. I'll die without you. I'll keep you safe as long as you stay with me, as long as you trust me."

"This melodrama doesn't suit you Clark." Chastised Lex, uncertainty in his face. "Admitting that you will kill my father is very scary Clark and I don't think you should ever think that kind of thing again. It doesn't suit you. You're not a killer. I don't ever want you to be a killer. I don't know what to think, but one thing I do know is you're everything good and decent in this world and I can't bear to think that you might be capable of such things as murder."

"I'm sorry Lex. I don't mean to distress you. This is not melodrama it's how I feel. It's truth. You know I can't lie worth beans Lex. You know I can't. You know what I'm saying to you is true. If you leave me again I will die. I'll be the wreck you and your horse ran down on the bridge all those weeks ago."

"Clark." Lex gasped horrified. "Oh Clark." Lex's body trembled with remembered horror. His Clark devastated, hollow cheeked and red rimmed eyes. Eyes that didn't seem to be alive anymore, they were extinguished. The fire, the zest, the humor, the sparkle had been gone, all gone. "No Clark, no I'm not worth that. I'm not worth your total destruction. You'll get over me."

"No, no I won't. I could never get over you. If you leave me, I will be destroyed. Believe me Lex when I tell you, I'm not like the other men in this world. I'm connected to you in such a way that if you leave me I will die."

Lex shook his head. His knees were giving way again. He was fighting valiantly against an on rush of tears burning his eyes. "I couldn't live with myself if I knowingly left you and knew that my leaving was the death of you Clark. This is extortion, emotional blackmail! Don't do this to me. I'm trying to do what's right here. For once in my selfish life I am trying to do what is right and..."

Clark rushed to him picked him up into his arms and held him so tight Lex thought his ribs would crack.

"Don't say those things about yourself Lex. You're the most caring most wonderful person I ever met. Betty-Sue was marvelous and I loved her and I think I loved her only because it was you playing her. The real Betty-Sue was kind and jaded like yourself but I never felt about her the way you made me feel.

"Her letters were a support I needed and she was a good person who I thought I could make a life with, but now if she were to come back here and take your place I couldn't love her. If Lana were to come back to me and be my wife I couldn't accept her or love her either, only you, Lex.

"I look at that picture I have of Betty-Sue and I don't feel the way I feel when I look at the one picture I have of you- of the you at my side, in our picture. Betty-Sue isn't who I love. She never could be, only you Lex. You're the only one that matters to me, the only one that I love."

Lex buried his face in Clark's neck. "How, how can this be true? How can you love me so much? How can I... How... it's so devastating how much I love you in return Clark. It kills me inside that I can't really be married to you. That I can't... that we can't go on like this. That no one will allow this to continue.

"What we are Clark, what we are is ... it's... my God! It's a sin Clark, a terrible horrible sin. And it's insane. It's damnation and unforgivable. We will pay such a heavy price for loving one another Clark. I can't put you through that. I can't go through that. I'm not strong like you think I am. Luthors aren't strong people. Ruthless, powerful, evil, yes, but strong, no."

"Then it's perfect." Said Clark with a huge grin on his face. "Evil incarnate marries goody two shoes."

"Clark I'm being serious here. I've spilled my guts out to you. How can you make such a joke at a time like this? And no one would honor those vows we made each other. It's not legal in the eyes of the law or even in God's eyes."

"Lex, all that matters is that you love me and that I love you. Even if you can't be strong I will be strong for the both of us. I can bear anything that humanity throws at us, divine justice too. As long as you are there at my side, where you belong. I can bear it all." Just don't die, please don't die - don't leave me.

Lex looked deeply in Clark's eyes seeing truth and stubbornness and in spite of the heavy emotions and the drama and angst, and anguish within those deep blue depths, Lex Luthor laughed. He felt strangely at peace, even free. It was a two way street. As long as Clark was at Lex's side Lex could handle the world and all the pain in it too.

tbc svBride 10 (final chapters)