The sunlight coming in through the open draperies stabbed into Lex's brain when he pried open one eye. He squinted at the shockingly bright numbers on the digital clock on his nightstand, and groaned when he realized how late it was. Rolling over carefully to avoid the accidental loss of the top of his head, he stopped when his pillow rustled and crinkled at him. Inching his hand upward, Lex finally determined that the uncharacteristic noises came from a crumpled piece of paper covered with an illegible scrawl. Giving up, after a feeble attempt to focus on the letters swimming across the paper, Lex dropped the paper over the side of the bed and fumbled for the mansion's internal phone line.

"Coffee, aspirin, water. Now."

He hoped that, after he drank enough coffee and chewed his way through a dozen aspirin, he'd be able to remember something about last night, and whether it had been worth waking up with the worst hangover he'd had in years and with an odd taste in his mouth he couldn't identify.

. . .

After ingesting sufficient amounts of caffeine and legal painkillers, Lex retrieved the badly wrinkled note from his bedroom floor.

Lex,

Sorry, but you wouldn't wake up and I had to leave. I'll miss you. Take care of yourself.

Clark

P.S. Did we have to drink that last bottle of vodka? I barely remembered my name this morning.

The all-too-brief note that his best friend had left did not hint at the writing talent, which had helped him sail through the three years spent at Met U obtaining his degree in journalism. Obviously, Clark had also fallen victim to the evening's activities and had spent the night after they'd made their way through the majority of the liquor behind the bar. Lex's memory of the graduation and farewell celebration had become fuzzy after the second bottle of orange-flavored vodka, but he had to wonder what else they'd managed to eat or drink to have left a very unfamiliar aftertaste in a mouth quite accustomed to the results of overindulgence. He decided it was most likely some weird, overly sweet concoction that Clark had discovered while on campus and had wanted to share.

The fact that Clark hadn't been able to wake him up to say goodbye was disappointing. Clark was going to be gone for six months on a backpacking tour of Europe and Asia before starting at the Daily Planet, and Lex didn't know when he'd get a chance to see him again. Granted, Lex could just hop in the LexCorp jet and meet Clark somewhere for a weekend wherever he was, but Clark had made Lex promise not to 'interfere' with his plans and to let him have the time to be independent of friends, family and schedules. Lex had been hurt at first, but later reluctantly conceded that Clark deserved the time to explore without worrying about when and how to meet up with him or anyone else. Lex also suspected the trip had something to do with the secrets Clark had once held, the secrets that had been oddly absent since they'd both left Smallville behind for Metropolis.

Lex sighed and folded up the note to tuck away in the box where he kept all of the other infrequent cards and letters he'd received from Clark over the years. If asked, he would deny any tendency to sentimentality, but discarding anything Clark gave him just wasn't possible for him. It was all he had now until Clark returned.

Less than a day and he missed him already.

. . .

Looking through the latest proposals for the yearly grants from the LexCorp Scientific Foundation, Lex found few that impressed him. The only one that really caught his eye was the one involving Arctic long-range transport pollutants and genetically engineered bacteria, which would consume and break down the pollutants into harmless compounds. The two biochemists that had authored the proposal had solid credentials, and the test plans were thorough and well documented. Lex jotted his approval and sent the remainder back for polite dismissals. Rubbing the back of his neck, he sat back in his chair and attempted to will away the low-grade headache, which had been plaguing him for the past two weeks.

Painkillers had been ineffective and alcohol only aggravated the throbbing, so Lex had just tried to tolerate the constant ache that traveled from the base of his skull to behind his eyes. Unfortunately, the pain was getting worse, and the accompanying nausea had destroyed his appetite to the point that his cook was getting disturbed. Lex knew he was going to have to give in and actually submit to an examination from a physician to make sure there wasn't something going on besides a reaction to stress. Lex wasn't looking forward to being poked and prodded, but he couldn't afford to let himself get ill to the point of losing time from work. He comforted himself with the knowledge that Clark would be pleased to know he wasn't being stubborn about seeing a doctor. It was too bad it would be another five months before Lex could brag about how sensible he'd been.

. . .

Vast expanses of snow dominated the dreamscape, the sun brilliant and the sky clear. The ice crystals scattered across the ground threw back shards of color, imitating the finest of diamonds.

. . .

Lex flipped through the latest test results and frowned. A month of tests and a dozen specialists and there was still nothing, no reason for the headaches and nausea, or the constant low-grade fever that had started a few weeks ago. There was no reason for the continued deterioration of his overall health, just documentation that it was happening, and that nothing the doctors had tried was working to stop it. Lex wasn't sure how much longer he was going to be able to continue without it affecting his performance as CEO. Sighing, he directed his personal assistant to call in his top managers and his lawyers. It was time to start putting contingency plans in place.

While he waited, Lex debated on whether to call Martha Kent. He didn't want to worry her unnecessarily, but he really wanted to see Clark, and she was probably the only one who knew how to reach him in an emergency. Lex shook his head at his weakness. He could handle this without Clark. He didn't need Clark to hold his hand just because he was sick, just because he was in pain.

He didn't need Clark, but he wanted him, wanted his best friend with him, and Clark wasn't going to be back for another four months.

. . .

Vast expanses of snow dominated the dreamscape, the moon and stars brilliant, the sky lit with the spectrum. The ice crystals scattered across the ground threw back winking shards of color, imitating the finest of diamonds. There was no sound but the never-ending wind and the crunch of the snow under boots, until a single syllable shivered in the air.

"Clark!"

. . .

The last letter had been written and sent, all the necessary documents signed and notarized. There had been nothing left for Lex to do except pack the few personal items he was going to take with him. Looking around his penthouse, Lex saw nothing he would miss and he supposed that was an appropriate statement about his life as well. The only thing of worth after all these years was his friendship with Clark and that would simply be a memory.

Martha had been unable to tell Lex how to reach Clark, and he was unwilling to send investigators after his friend and potentially expose him to danger. The secrets he'd kept from Lex were still unspoken, although the lying had ceased after they'd left Smallville, when Lex had stopped asking questions. Lex had willingly paid that price to be Clark's friend. Lex suspected those secrets had separated them again, and Lex could do nothing about it.

Clark was due back in less than three months, but it looked like Lex wouldn't be here to greet him on his return. He regretted he'd been unable to say goodbye to the only person he'd ever really loved, look into his face one more time. A final glance and Lex picked up his travel bag and left, not bothering to lock the door behind him.

. . .

The northern lights were as beautiful as Lex had dreamed they would be. The crisp, clean air felt good against his heated cheeks, and he smiled up at the shimmering bands of color that illuminated the sky. In a few days, before he became too weak, he would walk out there, into the cold, pristine beauty that surrounded him, and let it happen. In the meantime, he'd enjoy the scientific discoveries that had drawn him to the northern regions of Alaska, and be proud that LexCorp was a part of them.

It wouldn't be suicide. No Luthor would ever admit to defeat in that fashion. Lex was determined that dying from hypothermia would simply be letting nature take its course, and more dignified than ending his days in a hospital room, monitored by machines, alone save for doctors who had no answers. His only regret was Clark, and not being able to look into his beloved eyes one last time.

. . .

The snowmobile sputtered to a stop, out of fuel. Lex had disabled the transponder, making it look like an accident, and he knew there would be no search party for hours yet. Dismounting carelessly without taking any supplies with him, Lex set his face to the north and started walking.

. . .
. . .
. . .

Clark rolled over and groaned at the thought of another day of training. His sleep had been disturbed for days by the memory of pale skin, blue eyes and the silken voice of his best friend. He missed Lex more than he'd ever thought possible and couldn't wait to see him again. There was so much that he wanted to tell Lex, share with him, and he could only hope that Lex would forgive the years of deception when he was finally able to share the truth. Sighing, Clark dragged himself out of the sleeping alcove and prepared to begin the next set of training exercises designed to help him reach full control of his powers.

. . .

The scenario that had just ended left Clark gasping for breath and holding onto bruised ribs. The AI that held the memories of his father, Jor-El, didn't hold back when it set up and executed the training exercises, using kryptonite to deliver painful reminders when needed. It was all part of Jor-El's conviction that each exercise needed to be as real as possible to hone Kal-El's skills. Unfortunately, that meant there had been more than one night where Clark had gone to bed exhausted and aching. It was happening more and more often, which was beginning to concern Clark. He needed to talk to Jor-El.

"Jor-El, explain my increasing number of injuries during training. Are you raising the difficulty levels without consulting me?"

"Negative, Kal-El. Difficulty levels have remained constant for the last nineteen waking periods due to lack of progress."

"Then can you explain why my skills are decreasing?"

"Negative, Kal-El. Projections indicate skill levels should have increased seventy-five percent during the period in question. There has been forty-five percent decline."

"Suggested action?"

"Allow me to scan for physical or mental deterioration."

Clark had been reluctant to submit himself to the scanner, since it entailed placing himself under Jor-El's control. It brought back memories of an earlier time, when Jor-El had decided to take over and force Kal-El to assume the mantle of conqueror. An uneasy truce between them had resulted in Jor-El allowing Clark to complete his human education before submitting to intensive Kryptonian training at his fortress located in the Arctic.

Jor-El had originally estimated six months for the training to be complete. At the current rate, it would be even longer before Clark could return to the human world. Jor-El's stipulation that no one be told of Kal-El's origins, and that there be no use of his powers until after his training was complete, had been a difficult condition to accept three years ago. Nonetheless, Clark had accepted the terms gratefully. Clark had known those additional years living as a human would be vital when it came to withstanding Jor-El's constant pressure towards world domination.

Knowing he would not be able to communicate with anyone on the outside during his training was the most difficult part. His mother had agreed that the need to reach Clark in an emergency did not outweigh the risk of setting Jor-El up with connections to the outside world. Clark wanted to keep Jor-El's influence restricted as much as possible. The thought of the AI running loose in the computer systems of the world was too frightening.

"Permission granted."

Clark stepped into the scanning chamber and waited for the examination to begin.

. . .

"You did not inform me that you had bonded, Kal-El. Your absence from your mate has caused you to lose your concentration and caused mental distress, resulting in reduced efficiency. If I had been informed, arrangements would have been made for the necessary breaks needed to maintain a healthy bond."

"Bonded? I don't understand. I haven't bonded with anyone. You told me that sexual intercourse with an exchange of body fluids was required to begin bonding, and I've been celibate."

"All evidence indicates that is not the case, Kal-El. There has been an exchange; otherwise, the bond would not be in place. It is weak, but definitely exists. Who was your mate?"

"Was?"

"You have been here one hundred and ten waking periods, or one hundred and thirty-two planetary rotations, without renewing your bond. That is too long for any human mate to have survived. An incomplete or unrenewed bond results in discomfort and mental disorientation in Kryptonians, but is fatal to humans. You will need to find another mate when your training is complete."

"I don't...didn't...don't have a mate! Why do you keep insisting that I do?"

"You are correct, Kal-El, you no longer have a mate. Shall I set up the next exercise?"

"No, I'm going to rest."

Clark needed to think about what to do next. Somehow, he was missing something. He couldn't help feeling he was also running out of time.

. . .

"Jor-El, I need to leave here for a period, and I will need to be able to use my powers in my absence."

"Permission denied, Kal-El. Your training must be completed before you may be allowed to depart."

"You agree I can't concentrate and I'm failing the scenarios because of this bonding problem, right?"

"Affirmative."

"Let me return and find out who my mate is...was, who I was supposed to have bonded with. I need to understand what happened, and I won't be able to train successfully until my questions are answered and I'm no longer distracted."

"My projections on the delay in training compared against the reduction in training effectiveness support your request. Permission granted for a delay in training equal to two waking periods, or two point four planetary rotations. You must return by the end of that time or your training requirements will extend for an additional twenty-four waking periods to compensate for the delay, Kal-El."

"Understood."

Released from his obligation, Clark wasted no time leaving for Metropolis using his newly acquired power of controlled flight. He resolved to start his investigation by visiting his mother. She would know if anyone he was close to had died recently. The thought made him falter in midair, sick at the realization that he might have lost someone while he was out of touch. There weren't so many, after all. He'd made few friends after leaving Smallville, and hadn't dated, knowing that he had to avoid any chance of bonding. When he thought about it, the only person he'd spent any significant amount of time with was Lex, which is why he didn't understand how he could have bonded with anyone without knowing about it.

Clark smiled when he thought about his best friend. He missed Lex. He missed his crooked smile and wry sense of humor, and his willingness to drop everything to help Clark. Six months away from Lex was the toughest part of his training, and if he didn't solve this puzzle, it was going to be longer. Thinking about Lex, Clark was tempted to call him, just to hear his voice. He could say he'd found himself near a phone somewhere, maybe in Afghanistan or Myanmar, and he'd had an impulse to talk to Lex. If he bought a cell phone with pre-paid minutes and flew over the country he was supposed to be in, it could work. Lex might be able to trace the call, but it wouldn't show Clark on the wrong side of the world. He decided he'd do it, right after he talked to his mom. Just the thought of talking to Lex made Clark feel better about everything, instantly.

. . .

Martha Kent wasn't able to relieve her son's worry. She wasn't aware of anyone that she or Clark knew who had died in the past six months or so. She suggested checking the obituaries in the Daily Planet, but if it had been someone Clark had met with at college, he or she could have returned to a distant hometown, so she thought checking with the college registrar might be useful. Other than those two suggestions, she had no idea how to determine whom Clark could have bonded with before leaving to train with Jor-El. Discouraged, Clark left to find a cell phone and call Lex. At least one good thing could come out of his break from training. He could also explain that he would be away longer than he'd originally thought, although that left Clark feeling depressed.

. . .

Clark couldn't understand why he hadn't been able to reach Lex. It was especially disconcerting when he wasn't able to leave a voicemail because Lex's mailbox was full. Clark wondered how many messages it would take to fill a billionaire's mailbox, and that left him even more disturbed. Leaving the airspace over Myanmar, Clark returned to Metropolis to check Lex's office. A scan through the walls revealed someone he didn't recognize sitting at Lex's desk and looking quite comfortable. Clark was beginning to worry and finding Lex's penthouse empty with no recent signs of habitation didn't ease his mind. The only thing that prevented Clark from the panic that was creeping up was the thought that his mother would have told him if something had happened to Lex.

. . .

Anne, Lex's personal assistant greeted Clark with an exclamation of surprise. She had not been expecting to see him for weeks. When Clark asked about Lex, she frowned and explained that he'd taken a leave of absence for personal reasons, but she had no details. LexCorp had been turned over to a trusted team of managers at Lex's direction, and things were running smoothly. Alarm bells went off in Clark's mind when Anne mentioned that Lex had been looking thin and seemed to tire easily right before he'd left, and that she thought he'd decided to take a vacation and rest.

Clark couldn't remember the last time Lex had taken more than a day or two to relax. He also had a feeling there was something else he should be remembering, and that it probably had to do with the last time he'd seen Lex. Waking up in bed next to Lex because he'd passed out from drinking too much might have been too simple an explanation, back when it happened. Clark knew he needed to find Lex right away, and prayed it wasn't too late.

The problem was that Clark didn't know where to start looking.

. . .

"Mom, I think it might be...I think I might have bonded with Lex."

"Oh, honey. Is he all right?"

"I don't know where he is. He's disappeared, and I think it was because he was getting sick. I'm really worried, Mom. Jor-El insisted any human mate would be dead by now because the bond wasn't renewed, and if he is...I don't know what I'm going to do!"

"Clark, remember Lex is a lot tougher than people think, and he doesn't get sick. Maybe...."

"That's what I'm hoping. I just don't know where he is, Mom. Where could he have gone? I need to find him!"

Martha looked at her distraught son pacing between the kitchen and dining room, and tried to come up with an idea. Nothing came to mind until she looked at the mail basket she kept on the counter to hold bills and coupons. Jumping up, she rummaged through the pile of papers until she came up with a small envelope addressed to Clark. With a cry of triumph, she handed it to him, apologizing for forgetting that it had arrived a few weeks earlier.

Seeing Lex's name in the return address, Clark tore the envelope open with shaking hands. Inside was a single sheet of stationery with a short letter from his best friend. Clark read it aloud.

Dear Clark,

I'm sorry I wasn't able to meet you on your return, but I'm afraid it was unavoidable. I hope your trip went well and you found everything you were looking for out there. I missed you every day.

In your absence, I've decided to take some time off from LexCorp and participate in some research I've been interested in for some time. It's in a remote area, so communication will be difficult, but perhaps we'll meet up again someday. Take care of yourself, and always know you are the best thing that ever happened to me.

Lex

Clark looked up with tears in his eyes and threw himself into his mother's waiting arms. "Mom, he was saying goodbye. It was him I bonded with and he knew he was dying and he was telling me goodbye."

. . .

With less than a day left on Jor-El's deadline, Clark was becoming frantic. He refused to believe Lex was dead. He was too important for it to have happened, without someone reporting it. Working with the small clue in Lex's note, Clark went back to talk to Anne. After several attempts to try to determine exactly what Lex had been working on or interested in right before he left, Anne located a possibility. Thinking back, she recalled more than one meeting with the scientists involved with a research project located in the Arctic. Pulling out the folder containing the details, she was visibly startled to have the normally polite Clark impatiently pull it from her hands and flip through it quickly. Returning it to her, he thanked Anne for her help and ran from the office, leaving her looking after him in astonishment.

. . .

After a swift detour to check in with his mother, and to pick up some winter clothing and food she packed for him, Clark set off for the Arctic research station at high speed. A few minutes later, he arrived and dressed quickly before entering the largest Quonset hut in the compound. Walking around and acting as if he belonged, Clark quickly determined that no one had seen Lex since he'd set out earlier that day to check one of the remote monitoring installations. While hearing that Lex was still alive relieved some of his worry, Clark was still concerned when one of the researchers noted that Lex should have returned by then.

A check of the snowmobile's transponder raised Clark's level of concern to something closer to panic once more. Lex was out in the middle of a sea of ice, alone and overdue to return. He wasn't out of danger yet. Walking out of the compound, Clark checked for observers before returning to the air, very aware that he needed to find Lex before his best friend, the man who could be his mate, succumbed to the sub-zero temperatures.

. . .

Flying in an ever-widening spiral, Clark searched the miles of Arctic ice that bounded the research station. Spotting the abandoned snowmobile helped to narrow his search and, not long afterward, Clark plummeted to the ground in despair at the sight of Lex's body curled up, motionless. Listening carefully as he gathered Lex's stiff form into his arms, Clark could barely detect the shallow breaths and slow heartbeats that were evidence of life. Ignoring his first impulse to rocket back to Smallville and his mother with his precious burden, Clark headed for the Fortress and Jor-El, hoping that Kryptonian technology and medicine would be able to save Lex. Clark was willing to bargain with whatever he had to offer Jor-El, as long as Lex lived.

. . .

"Lex, you have to come back. You can't leave me here alone. Please, Lex, please try. Don't leave me, Lex. Please don't leave me."

Lost, wandering in the deep, cold recesses of his brain, Lex could hear someone and whoever it was sounded so sad. He wondered if hypothermia always caused such realistic hallucinations. If asked, he would swear it was Clark saying his name and begging Lex not to leave him. All Lex wanted to do was sleep and let go, stop trying, but Clark was sad and that wasn't right. He couldn't leave when Clark was crying.

Clark knew his tears were seeping through the light blanket covering Lex's naked body, but he didn't care. He was losing the man he loved because he'd been too late. He hadn't found Lex in time. His core body temperature was back up to normal in the sauna-like temperature of the Fortress, but he still wasn't responding, and Jor-El had warned of possible brain damage due to anoxia. Lex's heart was beating irregularly, his breathing was increasingly labored, and Clark was thinking of ways to join him when the end finally came. Clark knew that if nothing else, there was always the kryptonite Jor-El kept for training.

Lost in his grief, keening quietly with his head pillowed on Lex's chest, Clark almost missed the change in Lex's heartbeat. It fluttered and almost stopped before returning, stronger and faster. Clark felt the air rush into Lex's lungs, one deep breath and then another. Raising his head in wonder, Clark looked at Lex's waxen face and watched as life began to nudge at the edges, the skin becoming more supple, the pale lips taking on a more vivid color.

Lex's slurred words were the most wondrous sounds Clark had ever heard. "Don' cry, Clar'...ple' don' cry."

Wiping tears away with the back of his hand, Clark smiled tenderly into dazed blue eyes. "I won't cry anymore, Lex. Not if you're going to stay with me. You can't leave me, Lex, okay?"

Dry lips cracked and a trickle of blood moistened a crooked smile. "Clar'...'m here an'...'m na' goin' n'where 'thout you."

. . .

Lex had stayed awake long enough to listen to Clark's rushed explanation of his origins and babbled apologies for not being able to tell his secrets sooner. A pale, shaking hand wiped away the evidence of tears from rosy cheeks, and a quiet murmur assured Clark that all was forgiven, before blue eyes reluctantly shuttered closed in exhaustion.

Leaving Lex to rest, Clark stood before the crystalline console and sought a different type of reassurance. "Jor-El, you're positive he's my mate? I don't know how it happened, but I feel that he is. How can he still be alive after all this time if it's true? I don't want to make a mistake and hurt him even more."

"My scan of the human shows anomalous characteristics, including accelerated healing. My conjecture is that the healing is the major factor in his continued existence without renewing the bond. His condition is deteriorating, Kal-El. I recommend no further delay in renewal, or you will be forced to bond with another human after this one ceases to exist."

"I'll explain the bonding to him when he wakes up. He has to know everything before he chooses; there have been too many secrets for too long."

. . .

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Clark offered Lex another sip of water before lowering him back down to rest. Setting the crystal bottle aside, Clark smiled shyly and reached for Lex's hand. Clearing his throat nervously, he began, "Lex, I'm not sure how to tell you this. Actually, I'm not even sure how it happened, but you and I are...bonded."

"Bonded?"

"You remember I told you I'm an alien, from a planet called Krypton?"

"Yes, and it exploded and you're the only survivor."

"Right. Well, my...species...bonds...joins...damn it, this isn't easy to explain. We're monogamous. For life. And...."

Lex's face revealed nothing. "And we're bonded. So what does that mean, exactly? We're married?"

"Sort of...um, that is...the problem is when it's two Kryptonians and they're...apart for too long, they get uncomfortable and distracted."

"Apart."

Clark ducked his head, cheeks blazing red. "Sex. They have to have sex and share...you know. God, this is impossible."

"Clark, you're acting like a blushing virgin."

Dark curls bobbed as Clark agreed with Lex's observation. "Well, yeah, not a big surprise there."

A single elegant eyebrow lifted in disbelief. "Wait, you've never? Not even with Lana...or Chloe?"

Clark's head whipped up, his green eyes wide. "No! I mean, after I found out I could bond someone to me just by...well, the urge to indulge in casual sex kind of went away, Lex."

"So how did we bond, then?" Lex's frown wasn't angry, but perplexed.

"I don't know!" Clark's outburst left them both surprised. Clark had gone over it again and again in his mind, trying to figure out when it could have happened, with no success. His frustration spilled out. "It's only supposed to happen if my...semen gets inside...um...your mouth or...."

Seeing Clark's distress, Lex took pity on him and tried to make things easier. "So somehow I absorbed your semen and you...wait, did you bond with me, too?"

"I'm pretty sure I did. I've been really distracted and not feeling well, and that's how Jor-El figured out what was wrong."

"I'll ask you who Jor-El is later. Right now, we have bigger questions, like what happens next?" Lex covered Clark's hand with his and patted it gently. "Do we try to undo it?"

Shaking his head, Clark looked at Lex, his eyes dark with pain. "It can't be undone, Lex. It's for life, yours and mine. It's why you got sick." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Lex, it's why you're dying."

Clark slipped from the bed to kneel on the floor beside it. "Lex, would you please consent to be my mate and allow me to renew the bond? It's the only way to keep you alive, and I don't want to be alone, be without you, Lex." Lifting Lex's hand to his lips, he pressed a kiss to the back of it. "I know I'm not the one you planned to spend the rest of your life with, but I love you, Lex. Please don't leave me."

Lex struggled to sit up until Clark pressed him back down with a soft admonition to rest. Refusing to relinquish Clark's hand, he squeezed it tightly. "Clark, I've loved you for years. In spite of everything that's happened, I'll never regret taking the chance to be with you for as long as I can...all my life, if possible. Yes, Clark. My answer is yes."

Leaning forward, Clark touched Lex's chapped lips with the gentlest of kisses, giving thanks.

Pulling back a little, Lex smiled. "So...how do we do this?"

"You're the one with experience, Lex. I was kind of hoping you could tell me." Relieved by Lex's easy acceptance, Clark was able to tease gently, his green eyes shining with delight. When Lex's lips twisted in wry humor, Clark laughed and kissed Lex on the tip of his frost-reddened nose before sobering. "You can have anything you want, Lex. I know you don't have much energy left right now, but we should do this as soon as possible."

Lex closed his eyes and sighed. "I've been thinking, and it must have happened that last night we were together. We're a cliche, Clark. We had sex when we were drunk, and we can't remember anything about it."

Nodding, Clark frowned. "I'm sorry, Lex. I've thought about being with you for years, and I always imagined that our first time would be special. We can't remember the first time, and the second is here. I've really messed up."

Lex tugged on Clark's hand until he got the hint and clambered back onto the bed, lying down next to him. Shifting until they were face-to-face and sharing the pillow, Lex stroked the hair back from Clark's forehead as he teased him gently, "We're in a crystal fortress in the Arctic, you're an alien and I'm a mutant. It would be hard to top all that for special, Clark, no matter what we did." He didn't have to wait long for a smile before he continued, "How much research have you done on the internet? I'm sure 'virgin' doesn't equal 'ignorant' when it comes to you, Clark."

A renewed blush didn't stop Clark from answering. "I understand the basics. I've seen pictures and movie clips. I just never wanted to take the chance...."

Gentle fingers halted Clark's excuses. "So the next step is getting you out of those clothes and figuring out what we can use for lube."

"Actually, that's not a problem. I have some."

"Clark, where did you find lube in the Arctic?"

"Let's just say I really don't want to think about why my mom packed it in with the food she sent, okay?"

Lex closed his eyes and shuddered. "Forget I asked. We'll just accept it as the miracle it is, and move on. Clothes?"

"Sorry." Clark was out of the bed and naked without any further delay, chuckling when Lex's eyes widened at the speed that his clothing disappeared. "One of the advantages of being an alien."

"I can't wait to find out the rest."

Crawling back onto the bed with the bottle of lube in his hand, Clark laid back down beside Lex before he admitted, "It feels weird to think about doing this without protection."

Lex shrugged. "Well, it would kind of defeat the purpose, right?"

Ducking his head shyly, Clark agreed. "Um...how do you...we do this?"

Lex was charmed by the constant change in Clark as he switched from cocky to unsure and back at a moment's notice. "I want you to make love to me, Clark. This is our first time together and we'll remember. I want to see your face as you come inside me."

A sharp breath and Clark's hand reached down between them to clutch at himself, hard. "If you keep talking like that, Lex, I won't even make it that far." Rising up over Lex, careful not to press too hard against skin and lips still healing from their exposure to the elements, Clark kissed each precious inch he slowly uncovered.

Lex's eyes darkened with arousal, lids heavy as he watched Clark's dark head move progressively lower, never rushing, and murmuring sweet words of delight over the soft smooth skin he worshipped with mouth and hands. Even after months in the Fortress, Clark's skin was sun-gold, glowing against moon-pale, the contrast a visual delight. Lex marveled at the delicacy of his touch, at hands that could crush marble, yet never faltered in their tenderness. He tasted as he moved, tracing Lex's form with tongue and lips until he reached his eager target. A hiss, a lunge and a plea, an insistent hand in dark curls, and Lex was lost to pleasure. A pleased hum brought a deep groan from an exhausted body that struggled to hold back until Clark took pity and released Lex from the furnace of his mouth.

Panting, Lex brought himself back under control and directed Clark to continue. "Use the lube now...one finger, then two. Don't be afraid you'll use too much, and I don't want you to be worried about hurting me...you won't."

Blindly fumbling with the bottle, unwilling to look away from Lex's desire-hazed eyes, Clark managed to coat his fingers and himself before tossing the bottle aside. Still holding Lex's gaze, he moved slowly and carefully to prepare his way, watching for any indication of discomfort as his thick fingers entered Lex. He stroked the tightness open, and remembering something he'd read, he crooked his fingers until Lex sucked in a breath and stiffened, eyes wide with shocked pleasure. He exhaled on Clark's name and a 'please' for something more.

Fingers replaced by a greater heat, they were joined, moving as one, gold over silver, the sun held the moon. No words...just the truth held by two bodies quickening, a silent contraction before stuttered release and warmth spilling both inside and out. A taste of a heat-slicked hand and memory bloomed. Scenes flashed by...drunken laughter turning to desire, a giddy declaration leading to a kiss.

Eyes wide in wonder, they looked at each other, marveling at the re-awakening bond. Flashes of their last night together crowded into two minds almost overwhelmed at each other's reactions, shared recall causing them to hold tight, mind, body and soul.

There was sadness at parting that turned to a need to comfort, pledges that transformed to kisses and then more, all fueled by inhibitions loosened by alcohol. Clothing was discarded frantically as they devoured each other, raging at any constraints, rejecting caution for passion. They had been consumed, burning, rushing to completion.

"I remember."

Clark had resisted bonding for years, but he knew then it was because he belonged to Lex, and it had felt so right.

"I remember."

Lex had dreamed of Clark for years, and afterwards he'd prayed Clark would come back to him and that it wouldn't be the only time they shared.

They remembered.

. . .

Still naked, Clark carried an exhausted, sleeping Lex to the scanning chamber.

"Jor-El?"

"He will live, Kal-El."

Clark closed his eyes in relief. That was all that was important. Any other problems or remaining questions could wait until later. It was all just a matter of time.

fin

Challenge: CLFF21: Leaving to die.

Notes: CLFF21 challenge prompt combined with January '07 meme prompt from elgraves. "You wrote a story where Clark was disadvantaged by his heritage, where he had to bond with Lex or die. What if it's the other way around? What if something about Clark heritage has Lex disadvantaged. Never a good idea to ingest foreign substance." My heartfelt thanks to hils for looking over the storyline for me and jakrar for a terrific beta. Any remaining mistakes are mine, all mine. GOLD PRIZE WINNER

Standard Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters herein. The characters of Lex Luthor and Clark Kent as well as any supporting characters are the property of their creators and DC Comics. Gough/Millar Inc and the WB Network TV own Smallville. Any deviations (or deviant behavior) from the originals, however, is mine.

Feedback is both welcome and appreciated.