Title: The Emperors New Suit

A story about Lionel Luthor

In Metropolis there lived a man who believed he once was an Emperor. This man Lionel Luthor cared so much for unusual possessions that he spent much of his money upon them. He gave no though to his children, or anyone else.

One day there came to the city two rogues who set themselves up as weavers. They said they knew how to weave the most wonderful cloth in the world. The patterns and the colours were marvellously beautiful, they said; but the cloth could not be seen by any one who was stupid or unfit for his office.

I must have some clothes made from this cloth, thought Lionel. When I wear them, I shall find out what men in my empire are not fit for their jobs. I shall know the clever men from the dunces. Those weavers must be brought to me at once. So the two rogues went to the LuthorCorp. Lionel gave them a vast sum of money that they might begin their work without delay.

The rogues immediately put up to great looms, and pretended to be working. They called for the finest silks and the brightest gold, but these they put into their pockets. They worked steadily at the empty looms until far into the night.

Day after day Lionel could hear the rattling of the looms. He became very curious to see the wonderful clothes; and he decided to send some one to find how the weavers were getting on. But he remembered that no one who was stupid or was unfit for his office could see the cloth.

Lionel sent a trusted friend to see the cloth and inquire as to how soon the clothes would be ready. Lionel's friend stood before the empty looms, and looked and looked and looked, but he saw no cloth.

"Is not this beautiful stuff?" asked the two rogues. Then they praised the gorgeous colouring and explained the peculiar pattern, which was not there at all. Dear, dear, thought the man. Surely I am not stupid. It must be that I am unfit for my office. That is very strange. But I must not let it be known.

"Ah!" said he. "The design is most unusual; and the colour is marvellous. I shall tell Mr Luthor what fine progress you are making."

Soon every one in the city was talking about the wonderful cloth that the two weavers were making. Lionel thought that he would like to see the beautiful cloth while it was still upon the looms. With a number of his employees he went to visit the two rogues, who were weaving rapidly day after day without any thread. Among the employees was the man who had already been there. He thought that the others would see something upon the empty looms, so he cried out.

"Look, Mr Luthor. Do you see the beautiful design? And the colour - is it not gorgeous?" What is this, thought Lionel. I see nothing at all, am I not fit, am I a dunce? If that were known, I should be deposed.

"Yes, yes, it is very pretty," said Lionel aloud. "I could not be better pleased." He smiled and nodded his head, and stared at the empty looms. His employees, too, looked and looked, but saw no more than the others. Yet they all cried out.

"It is wonderful." They asked Lionel to wear a suit made from this cloth for a meeting soon to take place with his son. Lionel gave each of the rogues a LuthorCorp badge to wear, and called them the LuthorCourt Weavers.

As the day of the meeting came nearer, the two rogues worked with might and main. They were up the whole of the night before. Through the shining windows the people could see them hard at work. They took yards of nothing down from the empty looms. They made cuts in the air with big scissors. They sewed strong stitches without any thread; and at last they said.

"The clothes are ready." Lionel, with his grandest employees, went to put on his new suit.

The rogues lifted their arms as if holding something.

"See!" they said. "Here is the coat! Here is the cape! Here are the trousers! The cloth is as light as a spider's web. You may move as freely as if you had nothing on. That is the beauty of it."

"It is marvellous," said the employees. Yet all the time they saw nothing, for there was nothing.

"Will your Majesty be pleased to take off your old suit?" asked the rogues. "Then we will put on the new garments before the long mirror."

Lionel took off his clothes, and the rogues pretended to put on each new garment as it was ready. They wrapped him about, they buttoned and they tied.

"How well Mr Luthor looks in his new suit!" said his employees. "What a becoming style! What beautiful colours!" Lionel turned round and round before the mirror, and looked and looked, and nodded his head. He loved to look upon himself dressed or undressed. The fact that he couldn't see the suit didn't bother him.

"Your son is waiting in you office," said his secretary.

"I am ready," said Lionel. He gave one last look in the mirror, as if he were admiring his new finery.

Lex stared open mouthed as Lionel entered the room.

"Uhm Dad?" Lionel looked upon his son, and raised an eyebrow. "I know how you get all those women now." Lionel smirked at his son, he obviously couldn't see his new suit. Lionel proudly explained to his son how the suit worked.

"Father, if that's true the joke's on you. I know you think everyone is less intelligent than you, and in that case they obviously they cannot see your suit. So they are laughing at you." Lex stood up and started to walk out of the office. As he closed the door he said. "By the way it's the money that gets you the women." Lionel's face dropped as he realised his own stupidity.

The End

The conference room in Luthorcorp was air conditioned, with a large Mahogany table in the centre. Luxurious thick carpets and rich wooden panelling adorned the room. It had a feel of authority along with warmth, enough to lull anyone who entered into a false sense of security. The table had a desk feature incorporated for the speaker, along with draws and a foot rest, all discretely hidden. Clark hiccupped from this hiding hole. A large bottle of 'Wild Turkey' slipped from his hands and dripped on to the floor, discolouring the cream carpet. Clark started to laugh. 'Shush!' He said to himself, but his outbreak caused him to laugh harder. Clark picked up the bottle and took another swig.

Someone entered the room and walked toward the desk. Legs wearing black Armani trousers appeared in front of Clark. The person sat down and shuffled forward. Clark now had a foot in his crotch, so he took another gulp of the bourbon. The foot started to move, obviously the owner of the leg had noticed something amiss. The foot dropped and made a squishing noise as it found the puddle of bourbon. 'Yuck!' Said the voice. 'That had better not be kitty pee, I banded that cat!' The voice became louder as the Leg owner craned their neck down to have a look.

'Clark?' Clark looked up at Lex and gave a crooked grin. 'There's probably no point me asking you how you got here, is there?' Clark shook his head and started to suck on the bottle. Lex shifted in his seat. 'Bad Clark!' Clark continued to suck at the bottle. 'This is a very important meeting Clark, my father ' Lex trailed off as Lionel entered the room. 'Hope you're ready son.' Lex nodded, and whispered to Clark. 'Keep quiet, suck on your bottle.' Clark stared wide-eyed. Lex shifted forward again, careful not to kick Clark.

Lionel was followed into the room by eight other attendees. When all seated Lex started the meeting. Clark was bored already, formal introductions and a read though of the agenda was not the most interesting topic. So Clark untied Lex's laces.

Lex smiled at the attendees as he wriggled to prevent Clark's attack on his laces. 'Are you alright son?' Inquired Lionel. Lex stopped and kicked Clark. 'Fine Dad.' Lex soon found that he was no longer wearing his shoe. Lex dropped some papers casually on the floor and stooped down to pick them up. 'Clark!' Hissed Lex. Clark was drinking bourbon from Lex's shoe and looked at particularly boss-eyed. Lex sighed and continued the meeting.

Clark finished his drink and kindly replaced Lex's foot in his shoe. Lex listened intently to Lionel as he pulled a slightly uncomfortable face. Clark was bored he had finished all of the bourbon and the bottle was no longer looking that interesting to play with. Clark could feel his shoulders start to shake with laughter, he needed to stop before it came out. There was a quiet noise like a zip being undone. Lionel lifted his head and looked around the room. Lex's jaw had dropped.

'So my intentions are to close the plant in Smallville.' Lionel looked at Lex, for a reply. Lex smiled his eyes glazed over. 'That's so good.' Said Lex.
'I'm going to invest in an international company enabling us to look into the future of interstellar travel, and the concept of vacuums in space.' Lionel looked into Lex's face, he appeared perfectly content. 'Suck it.' Moaned Lex. Lionel nodded.
'Not the best name for a company, but they have invested in the research side rather than the marketing.' Lionel straightened his tie. 'So I would like to suggest a meeting between myself, you Lex and our Smallville plant officials.' Lex seemed angry as Lionel gazed in his direction. 'I'm coming!' Shouted Lex and he seemed to relax considerably. Lionel could see a threat, something was not quite right. What sort of game was Lex playing? Lionel looked at his cell phone. 'I'm afraid I may need to postpone implementing my proposition indefinitely. Something has come up.' Lionel swiftly exited the room, followed by the other attendees. Lex looked up at the ceiling and zipped his trousers back up.

'Clark?' Lex looked down at him. Clark licked his lips. 'That was very bad, I have no idea what happened in that meeting.' Clark looked up at Lex innocently and grinned. 'I'm still thirsty, hiccup.' No wonder the Kent's didn't like Clark to spend time in his company he thought. Clark was a bad influence. Lex winked at Clark and helped him up off the floor. 'Better get some coffee into you before I take you home.' 'I'd like some more of what I just had.' Giggled Clark. The End