Lex has very few memories that serve as both the worst moment in his life as well as the best masturbatory fodder to date. Actually, he only has one memory like that. One memory that makes him cry and come at the same time.

It's a brutal thought but one Lex likes to indulge in, because it keeps him in line. It reminds him that there are consequences to his actions. That he's not like the other boys. That there's a reason he has no friends.

There's this common misconception about Lex and his social capabilities. He knows that people assume that he has no friends because he's rich. He's powerful. He's a freak. But what these people don't realize is that it wasn't always like this. He wasn't always like this. Lex puts a great amount of effort into being alone. And it hurts.

But there is no other option.

Lex lay in bed just a few hours after his father graciously let him return to his normal state of solitude. Lionel was nice enough--

Nice. Lex chuckled inwardly at his work choice.

--to give Lex a day off from the piles of frustration and back ache that had collected on his desk. Lex knew, of course, that Lionel did this to be cruel. To force Lex to remember.

So he lay in bed, fingers cramped and sore from brutally handling his now-exhausted cock. He came twice as vivid sounds and images from that night flashed in his mind. When he jerked off to the memory he automatically relived the best--and simultaneously, the worst--parts so he could just get it over with. Stuff it into the back of his mind where it rested and waited to slyly creep into Lex's conscious again.

But tonight was different. Instead of going to the bathroom and washing himself off, he remained sprawled on his wrinkled sheets and absently traced circles of come on his chest. Taking the hint from Lionel, Lex closed his eyes and remembered it all from the beginning.

It was his sixteenth birthday, a milestone in his young megalomaniacal existence. Or so his father said.

Those more weighty thoughts were temporarily pushed to the side for more enjoyable ones. Like his birthday party. In many respects, Lex shouldn't have been so excited. After all, he did have one every year and they always turned out to be somewhat disappointing due to his father's insistence that important business associates, along with their brat children, were invited. Boosted morale, Lionel said. Lex knew well enough that his birthday parties were more of a corporate functioning than a personal celebration, but he tried to make the best of them. Parties like these allowed him to appreciate the many hidden but no less enjoyable aspects of dark closets.

This year was different, though. He was finally allowed to invite friends. Real friends. Friends he talked to and had lunch with at school. Friends who were more interested in his wit and heart--what many other classmates had declared inexistent--than what car he drove to school.

Though the circumstances were slightly different this year, Lionel was sure to remind him of what importance the function had for the company, especially with the threat of an up-and-coming rival daring to siphon off one of LuthorCorp's small, but nevertheless integral, affiliates.

Which really only meant that Lex had to adhere to the strict dress code of a button-down dress shirt and wool slacks. Lex could overlook that small obligation. Especially when...

And that's where Lex couldn't help but blush.

Especially when he was coming. Kevin.

Though he could easily recall the names and significance of varied conquerors, defeat any one of the many fencing instructors his father hired, and strategically negotiate an A- in Home Economics (fucking graduation requirement) to an A, there were still a few aspects of life that Lex had not yet mastered.

And this was definitely one of them. A romantic interest. In another boy.

It was all worth it. The stuffy executives, their crying children, his father's sneers, and his wool slacks.

It wouldn't matter tonight.

Lex's experience with romance was quite limited, especially when it concerned an individual of the same sex. But Lex learned that all the fumbling and stuttering was beautiful. Delicious, even.

And it was Kevin who made it that way.

Kevin who sat next to him in Advanced Calculus and somehow managed to make dirty jokes with the use of integrals and exponents. Lex was mesmerized by his...well, everything. The way that he threw his head back when he laughed, the way he rubbed his foot against Lex's when Lex got an answer wrong. Not because he couldn't figure the equation out, of course. He was just too busy utilizing the wonder that was peripheral vision.

And just like in his chair in Ms. Klein's class, Lex couldn't sit still as he waited for his friends to arrive. His jaw was already sore from the strained smiles he gave his father's associates at the door, each one a monstrous disappointment for not being Kevin.

Already exhausted from half an hour of disappointing greetings, Lex found himself sitting in the ridiculously large, ridiculously formal dining room. Six of his other friends were chatting happily around him, but the seat next to him was empty.

Dinner dragged on, as did Lex's anguish. At one point, he found himself with his eyes closed, surely bewildering his friends and guests.

But feeling a warm breath on his neck, Lex snapped his eyes open and saw Kevin. Hair disheveled and eyes gleaming, he leaned in and whispered "I'm sorry I'm late. I was deciding what to get you. It's hard to shop for the boy who has everything, you know."

With an embarrassingly relieved smile, Lex disregarded the clichd remark and answered "You're here. That's enough."

Lex was surprised with the pure emotion and honesty that was in his voice, but he didn't regret it. It was his sixteenth birthday after all. Not an occasion to be inhibited.

After the dinner that quickly improved, Lex sat in his living room which was strewn with expensive wrapping paper and ribbon that was undoubtedly shipped from Europe. Lex didn't fail to recognize how ridiculous his father's associates were. A diamond studded watch, gold cufflinks, a sliver-plated rifle for God's sake.

He, of course, saved the best for last. Disregarding the fact that his friends (hopefully oblivious to his crush), as well as stuffy corporate yes-men, surrounded him, Lex cradled the medium-sized rectangular gift that Kevin handed him.

Slowly removing the modest wrapping paper, Lex slowly slid his fingers under the flap of the box and opened it.

Without thinking, Lex blurted out "But isn't it missing--"

"Yeah," Kevin quickly answered. "See, the thing is, I know you'll be important when you grow up. That's what the name plate is for."

Lex lightly traced his fingers over the engraving of his name. Lex Luthor.

"I know there's no title under your name." Kevin's smile so slight that Lex believed only he saw it, "but it's because I believe, no matter what, you can be whoever you want to be."

Lex couldn't take his eyes off the beautiful token in his hands.

"You've got your whole life in front of you." He paused. Then whispered almost inaudibly, "You can do anything."

Remembering the confused individuals that didn't grasp the meaning of the present, Kevin straightened himself up in his sitting position, nervously pat his thighs, and finished with "It's for you to decide."

With the best timing in the world, Anna entered the room and snapped Lex out of his reverie by announcing that Mrs. Spencer had arrived to pick up Joy, Lex's chatty history buddy.

Having said goodbye to all his guests, Lex returned to his bedroom where Kevin was lounging on the floor, head tilted against the bed.

Lex tentatively seated himself next to Kevin whose hair covered his heavy-lidded eyes, belying either exhaustion or nervousness, neither of which looked familiar on Kevin, the ever-composed expert in all things smooth.

"I don't think I can say thank you enough for the present. It's...amazing."

Kevin smiled. "Well, with a father who slightly--and thank God for that adverb--resembles yours in ambition and obsession of forcing that onto his only son, I know what it's like to feel trapped. Like you have your whole life planned out for you, and not being able to say anything about it."

Lex smiled and played with the corner of his shirt with his thumb and forefinger, trying to hide the adoration in his eyes.

"But," Kevin continued, "I also know what it feels like to be free of all that." His eyes were piercing into Lex's, "I was miserable until I realized that I do have options. And so do you, Lex. You're incredibly smart, and incredibly talented..."

Lex's breath hitched as Kevin leaned in with his forehead brushing Lex's.

"You're...incredible."

Lex was living in slow motion, believing everything Kevin said, buying into possibility and freedom, but most of all believing that there was something between the two of them.

Only when Kevin pulled away did Lex hear the quiet but insistent knocking on the door.

How Lex pulled himself from the vortex that was Kevin, he didn't know. But he made his way to the door and opened it.

Lionel.

He had a strange look on his face. Calm. Smug even.

"Yes, Dad?"

Lionel ignored Lex and looked directly at Kevin. And smiled.

"Your father just rang, Kevin. He said that he's tied up at work and needs me to take you home."

Lex was so entranced by the previous moment he had had with Kevin that he only had the sense to be disappointed. His brain didn't have any room for suspicion.

And like that, he was gone.

But Lex wasn't mad. Somewhat disappointed, but still remembering Kevin's words, Lex knew that anything was possible. And that there's a future. He needn't be in a hurry.

So Lex stayed in his room as Kevin followed Lionel out of the room. He couldn't go to sleep, recounting everything that happened that night, but remembering to play it in slow-motion where Kevin was concerned.

About the seventh time replaying his sixteenth birthday in his head, Lex realized that he'd left Kevin's gift in the living room where he'd opened it. Slowly, Lex plodded down the stairs, glancing briefly at the shadows of casts, swords, and priceless vases.

Lex was so eager to hold his present again, that he failed to hear the not-at-all subtle crinkling coming from the living room. He rounded the corner and--

There it was. There they were.

This is the part of the memory that Lex slows down. So slow it's almost still.

One piece of black leather.

Around two reddened wrists.

Forearms flat on the ground.

Shoulders hunched forward.

And the rest he can't describe with any other words except--

Fucking.

Raping to be more exact.

His father on his knees, handling the body in front of him like it's an animal. Rough. Brutal.

Kevin.

And Lex can't describe how he feels. He can't even feel how he feels. He just stares.

But he doesn't have to think anyway because his father is talking.

"Don't looked so horrified son. It's not what you think. He's already come three times."

It's as cruel as no one could ever imagine, but he knew it was the truth.

Lionel continued, "You forget, Lex. You forget who to listen to, who to believe." And his voice is as steady when he's fucking as it is when he's addressing a conference of executives.

Lex's memory fails him at this part. He can't remember what happened. All he remembers is waking up in a cold hospital room with no sound but the steady beep of the heart monitor.

Well, that and the steady crinkle of wrapping paper.